Unfiltered Story #182532

, , , | Unfiltered | January 17, 2020

(The chain I work for has the format of customers ordering from a catalogue and staff gather the order. I am sent to a different branch on short notice due to unforeseen circumstances and there only being two staff in the store. Owing to different shapes and sizes of store no two sites use the same layout.)

Customer: Get lost did you?

Me: Afraid so, I’m based in [my store] and am on loan for the day.

(The customer goes silent as I unload his goods)

Me: Have a lovely day!

Customer: *recovering* You too.

The Oysters Contain Bacon

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2020

Customer: *whilst ordering their meal* “I want you to tell the chef that I am a vegetarian, so he needs to make sure to keep my food away from any meat.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, and what can we get for you today?”

Customer: “I want to start out with the French onion soup, and then I’ll have the poached oysters, and… Can I order dessert after I finish the mains if I feel like it?”

Me: *pausing for a moment* “Ma’am, you said you were vegetarian; we are unable to serve vegetarian poached oysters.”

Customer: *blank stare* “What do you mean?”

Me: “Ma’am, oysters are molluscs; they’re a meat product.”

Customer: *even blanker stare* “No. Oysters are a plant. They grow in the sea, like seaweed.”

Me: *not even sure what to say to this* “Ma’am, I am very sorry, but the oyster dish contains a meat product. Could I recommend our vegetarian lasagne? It’s on special today and is really excellent.”

Customer: *looking completely confused* “You’re sure there’s meat in the poached oysters?”

Me: “I can fetch the chef or management if you wish to discuss it with them.”

Customer: “But… why can’t you tell me what meat is in the poached oysters?”

(I tried to explain for some minutes more before fetching a supervisor to deal with it. I don’t get paid enough to explain the evolution of the mollusc to customers.)

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It’s Lactose-Free, Too!

, , , , | Right | January 15, 2020

Customer: *approaches the bar* “Hey, can I get a gluten-free lemonade, please?”

Me: *unfortunately pretty used to this now* “Ma’am, I can personally guarantee you that our lemonade does not contain gluten.”

Customer: “Oh, thank goodness. Gluten is just everywhere these days!”

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Sadly, Our Space Is Not A Safe Space

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2020

(We have a regular customer who is disabled and prefers to sit on a specific sofa in our coffee shop because it’s more comfortable for her. She always comes in at a low-traffic time so that sofa is usually free – no problems. Today, I’ve taken her tea and toast over to her and am back at the till serving more customers when I see a lady with her kid come in, go over to the sofa, and point at our regular.)

Customer: “Right, you need to move.”

Regular: “Err, sorry, what?”

Customer: “That’s our seat.”

Regular: *looking around at almost empty shop* “There are loads of other seats and I just sat down.”

Customer: “No, we always sit here. My kid’s autistic and can’t handle sitting anywhere else.”

Regular: “As you can see–” *points to walking aids* “–I can’t exactly jump up and move, anyway. Look, I’ll be about half an hour, so if you come back later the seat will be free, then.”

Customer: “No. You can sit anywhere else. My son can’t.”

(She then picks up our regular’s food and drink and puts it down on a nearby table!)

Regular: “What the bloody h*** are you playing at?!”

(I manage to get one of the other staff over to take over the till while I go over to sort this. I give our regular back her food and drink.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you can’t just take other people’s food and drink.”

Customer: “She’s in our space.”

Me: “With all due respect, it’s not your space. Either stop bothering this lady and sit somewhere else or leave.”

Customer: “We have to sit here! My son has autism! This [disabled slur] here can sit anywhere; we can’t!”

Me: “Okay, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. You’re causing a scene.”

Customer: “That’s discrimination! Get me your manager.”

Me: “No. Get out.”

Customer: “I bet she wouldn’t need a whole sofa if she wasn’t so f****** fat, anyway.”


Customer: “I’m going to get you fired!”

Me: “Get out or I’m calling the police.”

(She did leave then, swearing her head off about how “fat isn’t disabled.” I asked our regular if she was okay and she gave me a fiver, “as a tip, and a thank-you for getting my tea back!” I’d never seen that lady nor her kid before!)

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Dealing With Customers Comes With A Price  

, , , | Right | January 12, 2020

(I work in a well-known high-fashion brand shop, in the accessories department. My job is to help customers find what accessory they want, whether it be a fancy bag, scarf, hat, jewellery, etc. We also get a commission for this and have to acquire a certain amount in the tills. A well-to-do, uppity woman comes stalking in and makes a beeline for me.) 

Customer: “You there! I’m looking for a burgundy bag to match my shoes! And I want you to help me!” *snaps fingers at me* 

Me: *trying not to be insulted by the gesture* “Of course. First of all, what style and size would you like? And any particular material? And also, do you have a certain price range you are wanting to spend today?”

Customer: “Price doesn’t matter, and I don’t care what style or size. I just want a bag to match my—” *talks slowly to me like a baby* “—buuuurgunnddyyyyy shoes!”

(I proceed to pick up and show her every single burgundy bag in stock, which she turns down for either being “the wrong size,” “not the right colour,” or “too floppy or stiff.” I finally find a bag in a very expensive well-known brand, which she starts ogling at.) 

Customer: *in utter excitement* “Oh, my goodness! This is the exact bag I want! It’s perfect! Oooh, I’ll take it!”

(We proceed to the tills, but not before she asks the price. The next thing I know, her tone completely changes as soon as she sees the price tag.) 

Customer: *throws hands in the air* “UGH! Why on Earth would you make me try to buy this?! It’s far too expensive! I am not buying this!”

(She proceeded to curse at me and storm out of the shop, leaving me in utter disbelief. It made me wonder why I wasted half an hour of my time on her. She even said she wasn’t bothered about the price range. Some people.)

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