Unfiltered Story #208826

, , | Unfiltered | September 21, 2020

This happened to my co-worker.

Co-worker: Hello, are you waiting to be served?
Customer 1: No, I’m waiting for a bus.
Co-worker: Ok then. (she proceeds to serve the next customer in line. After customer two leaves and my co-woker is about to serve a third customer, Customer 1 sheepishly catches her attention)
Customer 1: I’d like some corned beef…

Why The Machines Rise…

, , , , | Right | September 21, 2020

I work in a call centre. When the majority of staff are busy, it’s my job to take customers’ details so they can get back to the customers later on. I have to follow a script for each call.

Me: “Good morning. My name is [My Name]. All our staff are busy at the moment, so can I take your details so we can call you back later?

Customer #1: *Confused* “Are you real? Is this a robot?”

Me: “No.”

Customer #1: “Are you really real?”

Me: “Yes, I’m real. I’m sorry for the confusion; I have to stick to our script.”

Customer #1: “Oh, okay.”

The customer laughs and gives details.

Next call:

Me: “Good morning. [My Name] speaking. All our staff are busy at the moment, so can I take your details so we can call you back later?”

Customer #2: “Is… Is this a machine?” *Sighs*

Me: “No, I’m real. I’m sorry, I have to stick to our script, so I can understand the confusion.”

Customer #2: “Oh, okay, then. It’s just that I’ve gone through a lot of robots and recordings today.”

[Customer #2] gives details. After a while, I get tired of being so professional.

Me: “Good morning. All our staff are busy at the moment, so can I take your details so we can call you back later?”

Customer #3: “What? Is this a robot? This is a machine.”

Me: “Well, if I am, I’m a very nice robot… Beep.”

The customer is clearly confused but chuckling.

Me: *Casual* “Nah, yeah, I’m real…” *Laughing* “This keeps happening today. It’s just our script.”

Customer #3: *Still chuckling* “Well, I hope all the robots there are as nice as you.”

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Have A Good-Bi While You’re At It

, , , , , , , | Working | September 20, 2020

This wouldn’t be much of a story if it wasn’t for who it happened to.

Anyone who works retail knows that when you say a thing so often that it becomes habitual, you tend to speed through it. Part of my spiel after serving someone is, “Have a good day!” 

Of course, those words getting rather smushed together means my genius mouth comes out with, “Have a gay!”

This has happened twice.

The first time was to two little old ladies, who, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice and left.

The second time was to the local priest, who stopped and stared at me as I froze.

My boss gave me an extra break because he was laughing so hard he had to go hide out the back for a bit.

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When A Penny For Your Thoughts Is Still A Ripoff

, , , , , | Right | September 19, 2020

Customer: “I have to pay for a bag?”

Me: “Yeah only 1p.”

Customer: “Ah, never mind. I’ll just carry it. Oh, and keep the change.”

One penny.

His change was one penny.

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Little Pink Lies

, , , | Right | September 19, 2020

We have one regular customer who seems to think we are both her best friends and her therapists. We’ve all heard her entire life story — although how much of it is true, we’re not sure — and far too much detail about her various illnesses.

We actually have a policy in place to stop her from buying anything because on her more lucid days we can tell she spends far too much. For whatever reason, she always gets my name wrong, calling me by a name that is almost like mine but not quite. Normally, I correct her, but I didn’t this time!

Regular Customer: “I’m probably going to change my name this week. I like your name, [Wrong Name]. It’s always been one of my favourite names.”

Me: “Oh?”

Regular Customer: “What’s your middle name?”

Sensing where this is going, I think fast and make something up.

Me: “Margaret.”

Regular Customer: “Oh, that’s nice, too! Well, we’ve decided, then. I’m going to change my name to yours!”

Me: “Uh… pardon?”

Regular Customer: “I like all the hair colours you have; would you do my hair like yours? What’s the favourite colour you’ve ever been?”

Me: “I’m not a hairdresser, [Regular Customer]; I wouldn’t be comfortable doing that.”

Regular Customer: “Oh. But your favourite colour?”

Again, thinking fast.

Me: “Pink.”

Regular Customer: “Well, I’ll see you soon. I’ll pop back in to touch base on Wednesday; our new name will be sorted by then. I’m glad we decided on that.”

She continued on for another half an hour, periodically going to leave and then staying. I have never been so freaked out in my entire life. If she comes back on Wednesday with pink hair and my incorrect name, I am fleeing the country!

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