Behaving Like A (B)Rat

, , , , , | Right | April 20, 2019

(I work in a place that is well known for sausage rolls and coffee. All is going well for a quiet Tuesday afternoon and I haven’t served a customer in about five minutes. In comes an old fella who I don’t recognize as a regular. He places a sandwich on the counter. I ask in my usual friendly way, as upselling is an unfortunate part of the job:)

Me: “You can get a hot or cold drink with that for an extra 40p.”

Customer: *replies, colder than the British weather this week* “Did I say I wanted a drink?”

Me: *a little taken aback by his sour tone* “No, but I am required to ask.”

Customer: *grumbling hard* “I don’t want a d*** drink. All you want is to make me spend more money. I don’t like spending money.”

(Makes me wonder why he bothered coming in to buy anything in the first place, but I don’t say it aloud.)

Me: “Okay, then. That’s [price] on its own.”

Customer: *with an attitude like a toddler and obviously trying to pick a fight* “No, I don’t want it now. I wouldn’t feed it to the rats.”

Me: “That’s fine.”

(He huffs off and leaves. I am too caught off-guard to even make a witty comment about the ironic situation. About thirty minutes later, he returns. Luckily, my boss is on a break and I’m the only one here; otherwise, I’d never normally be this naughty.)

Customer: *a little less bitter now* “Two sausage rolls.”

Me: “You want sausage rolls from here? I’m sorry, but I can only give these to the rats.”

(I eventually got a small apology out of him — I was astounded! — and the rest of the transaction went all right. Just goes to show that sometimes it’s good to be a little cocky back, even if you’re not supposed to.)

Unfiltered Story #147190

, , , | Unfiltered | April 20, 2019

I work in a restaurant, which although are made to look independent are actually part of the same chain so we all have the same menu. I served these 2 guys one lunchtime

me: hi guys can I get you any desserts

customer 1: I’ve got a question. Are these all the deserts you do? You don’t do any cheesecake?

me: nope just these desserts listed here

customer 1: so no cheesecake then

me: no, all the desserts that are listed on our dessert menu are the desserts we sell

customer 1: so you’ve got no cheesecake then?

me: no just these

customer 1: okay, I’ll have the brownie

(as I turn to look at the other guy, before I say anything) customer 2: so no cheesecake then?

A Handy Comeback

, , , , | Right | April 19, 2019

(I work in a popular, fairly cheap bakery and food-on-the-go retailer in the UK. We have a range of sandwiches, including several we can heat, but those are packaged in obvious brown packaging. We can’t heat any other sandwiches because of the ingredients.)

Customer: *handing me a cheese salad sandwich* “Hey, can you toast this for me?”

Me: “No, sorry, sir. We can only toast the sandwiches in the brown wrappers.”

Customer: “You won’t toast this one?”

Me: “No, sorry. Did you still want it?”

Customer: *pauses* “How am I supposed to eat it, then?”

(This isn’t said aggressively, but rather as if he’s utterly confused about this conundrum.)

Me: “Most people eat them with their hands; I don’t know about you.”

(There was a moment of stunned silence, and then he paid and left. Thankfully, my manager thought it was absolutely hilarious and I didn’t get written up!)

Grabbing Themselves A Swift Exit

, , , , , , | Right | April 18, 2019

I used to work in a nightclub, and when going round collecting glasses I would occasionally get my a**e grabbed. I would immediately turn round and give the offending bloke a hard kick in the a**e back. My manager — the best boss ever, also a bloke — used to send all the new girls to me to train knowing I would tell them to do this. The bouncers also backed me up every time. One time the guy that grabbed me even apologised!

One occasion sticks in my mind — this was about 15 years ago — on a mid-week night when only three bouncers were working. There were five members of a well-known local sports team in the club. One of them grabbed my a**e, so I turned round and demanded to know which one of them had done it because I couldn’t be sure given that I was facing the other way. All five of them just laughed in my face.

I told the bouncers who then demanded they all leave, and they refused. The bouncers were outnumbered, so the police were called. All five got thrown out, despite these five degenerates repeatedly calling me a liar.  

Sometimes you’re lucky enough to work with awesome people, where the good guys outnumber the bad.

In The Age Of Streaming, DVDs Now Cost Negative Money

, , , | Right | April 17, 2019

(It is my very first day of working in a charity shop and I’ve never worked in retail until now. A customer approaches me with a DVD in hand; it has an old sticker on it saying, “£5 off.”)

Customer: “Does this have £5 off?”

(The price clearly states it is £4.49, so it is impossible to have £5 off.)

Me: “No, I believe it is £4.49.” *points to the sticker above which says, “£4.49”*

Customer: “But it says, ‘£5 off.’” *points to the sticker which clearly states a different store*

Me: *to coworker* “Does this have £5 off?”

Coworker: “No.” *looks at the customer* “It says, ‘£4.49,’ there.”

Customer: “Oh. Then it’s too expensive.” *to coworker* “Would you like me to put it back?”

Coworker: “It’s all right; I can do it.”

Customer: *hands over a jacket that is £4.49*

Me: *mentally face-palms as the customer hands me a £10 note*

Page 1/15612345...Last