About eleven years ago, I visited India. I went to a Sikh temple and sat down to enjoy langer (free food served by Sikhs to anyone who walks in). I was served food by a volunteer, and we started chatting after lunch and became buddies.

Fast forward: I was visiting another Sikh temple in the Himalayas, and in the kitchen, there was only one volunteer when a large bus filled with people pulled in. I went up to the guy and asked if he needed help, and he gladly accepted it.

I started serving food to people sitting in the lines, and guess who I saw sitting down? My buddy from the first Sikh temple. It was great seeing him, and we said our hellos!

Me: “I actually got to pay it forward — and to the original person!”

Buddy: “Isn’t that just paying back?

Me: “…way to ruin a beautiful moment!”

We laughed at the amazing coincidence.

When I was sixteen, I took my mom’s old Pontiac Bonneville to the movies, and I was in such a hurry that I forgot to turn off the lights.

When I came out, the car was dead, but someone had left a set of jumper cables on the hood with a note.

Note: “I hope you make it home safely.”

I’ve never, ever forgotten about that. Since then, I’ve tried to pay that kindness forward any way I can.

Things at work had been going really well recently, and in my latest review, I was given a bonus.

I decided to pay it forward while I visited my local cafe and pay for the order of the people behind me in line. (There were three people behind me.)

The cashier stepped aside for a moment just as a woman walked in and jumped to the head of the queue, completely ignoring all of us.

Me: “Excuse me, you missed the line.”

She looked at me as if I’d spat on her.

Woman: “My car is running. I’m working. I have to go first.”

I’m very non-confrontational, so I just rolled my eyes and left it. She paid for her order and stood to the side waiting for her drink. That’s when I remembered that I was going to pay it forward.

As I got to the cashier, I loudly said:

Me: “Hi. I’d like to pay it forward and get everyone’s drinks…”

I looked over at the woman and emphasised my last words.

Me: “…who is behind me in line.”

She went very red in the face but said nothing as I stood by the register and tapped my card for each person in line.

The best thing was that the cashier seemed to know the woman had jumped the queue, because the woman’s drink came out at the same time as the people who had been at the back of the line.

Customer: “Oh, can I pay for the car behind me, too? I wanted to start one of those pay-it-forward things I heard about.”

Me: “That’s very generous of you, ma’am, but I’m afraid we’re not allowed to do that.”

Customer: “Why not? I just want to do something nice.”

Me: “And that’s applaudable, but we’ve recently had to put a chain-wide ban on drive-thru pay-it-forwards.”

Customer: “But why?”

Me: “Well, it’s a nightmare to keep on top of the receipts; we have a very organized system, and paying it forward makes it easier to make mistakes.”

Customer: “Oh, well, it’s just a few pieces of paper.”

Me: “Not to mention that some customers will pay more than others, and I’ve seen some customers guilted into keeping the chain going and being surprised at how much the car behind them has ordered. We get the brunt of that when that happens.”

Customer: “Oh… I didn’t think of that.”

Me: “But mostly, it’s because of the customers who not only decide the chain ends with them but also because those special kinds of customers want to take advantage of it. I’ve personally seen a customer realize they’re at the end of a pay-it-forward chain and try to order extra thinking it’s free. Of course, we don’t let them do that, and they take it out on us. It’s all become much more hassle than it’s worth, so we’ve had to ban them, unfortunately.”

Customer: “Sorry to hear that.”

Me: “If you wanted to do something nice today, though, we could always do with extra tips!”

Customer: “Why would I tip you extra? You just ruined my good deed!” *Drives off*

So, the customers who can afford $7.50 for a coffee are in need of a good deed, but the employees making minimum wage aren’t?

I’m old enough to remember when flying was an enjoyable adventure: breezing through “security”, lots of time for browsing in the shops, and eating a gratis meal of “rubber chicken” on the plane accompanied by those little bottles of wine, also gratis. (Admittedly, I would often slosh my way to my vacation locale, or home.) Now, flying causes me anxiety, and I’m stressed until I reach my destination airport.

On my way to Vegas, I was in a gift shop with my husband. I saw an unaccompanied girl, about ten, carry a pack of candy to the cashier.

Girl: *Very politely* “Excuse me? How much is this?”

Cashier: “That is [price].”

Girl: “Thank you. I will have to pick something else.”

Me: “I’ll buy you the candy.”

She looked at me with VERY big eyes.

Girl: “Really?”

Me: “Yes.” 

I took a moment to try to explain “paying it forward” to her. She thanked me and left. She was clearly happy and very surprised that someone would pay for her candy.

Cashier: “I’ve heard about paying it forward, but I’ve never seen it happen. You are awesome!”

My husband piped up:

Husband: “He’s not awesome. He hates flying and is trying to buy good Karma. He’s actually quite selfish.”

S’truth: nobody knows you better than your spouse.