A Saintly Understanding Of Science

, , , , , | Related | March 3, 2021

My teenage son is idly playing with a length of rope.

Son: “I have a string! I can make scientific theory!”

Me: “Well, can you untie the knot in it before you theorize it into permanence?”

Son: *Play-threateningly* “Are you trying to stop scientific theory?! Do you know what we do to people who get in the way of science?!

Me: “Canonize them?”

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A Stupid Call By Any Metric, Part 3

, , , | Right | February 18, 2021

We have a live chat message come through from America with the following question.

Customer: “Hi, I’m a size thirty-six-inch waist… but that’s US size. Can you tell me what size in English inches I need?”

Related:
A Stupid Call By Any Metric, Part 2
A Stupid Call By Any Metric

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Goldfishing For Math Skills

, , , , , | Related | February 7, 2021

I was a very precocious kid but didn’t have as much common sense to back it up. I taught myself how to read at two, and by three, I had learned enough math to be able to work the cash register at my grandpa’s small exotic pet store at the flea market. The entire family was required to help out during the weekend, though my “helping” was them indulging a small child until my attention span ran out and I wandered off.

We sold little feeder goldfish, three for $1, and they had always been bought in sets of three whenever I rang them up before. Someone came to the register with just a single tiny goldfish in a bag, leading to several seconds of confusion. Then, I yelled across the store in a slight panic.

Me: “[Grandpa]! How do you do one-third of a penny?!”

The customer and my grandpa both burst out laughing, and Grandpa called back to charge thirty-five cents.

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Math Is Your Friend, Part 7

, , , , | Right | January 8, 2021

Customer: “The sign says these books are three for $10, but the price stickers say $3.33 each. Which is it?”

Related:
Math Is Your Friend, Part 6
Math Is Your Friend, Part 5
Math Is Your Friend, Part 4
Math Is Your Friend, Part 3
Math Is Your Friend, Part 2

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A Kid Who Likes Math?!

, , , , | Learning | December 29, 2020

Two students are sitting and drawing together, discussing what they want to be when they are older.

Student #1: “I like maths; maybe I will have a job with that.”

Student #2: “What are they called?”

Student #1: “They’re called math-a-magicians!”

Student Support Worker: “I feel that can be a good description for some accountants.”

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