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This Is Why I Always Pay With A Card

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: JALgoe | May 16, 2022

I ring a guy up for beer that totals out to $19.66. I make it a point to verbally say a customer’s total as well as the cash that they give me to avoid any confusion.

The guy gives me $20.51 and, repeating it back to him, I hand him his 85 cents in change.

The guy looks at his receipt, his change, and back at me in confusion.

Guy: “What the h***? What am I supposed to do with all this change?”

Me: “Your total was $19.66. You gave me $20.51. Your change is 85 cents.”

Guy: “Wow, thanks a lot, man. Unbelievable. Didn’t you see I was counting all the change in my hand?”

He stormed off like a large, angry child.

I get not wanting to get a ton of change, but that basic math skill is on you as a customer. I don’t know what your intentions are. Maybe you need more quarters for laundry? Maybe you just wanted to get rid of the one penny you had? It blows my mind how minor inconveniences like these will set some people off into a full-on tantrum in public.

A Ten-Cent Brain Fart

, , , , , , | Working | May 16, 2022

I’m at work, and I notice that my coworker on the next till is looking really puzzled. Our tills tell us exactly how much change to give. I walk over and see that the till says to five eighty-five cents in change, and [Coworker] has three quarters in her hand.

Coworker: “How do I get to eighty-five cents?!”

She was completely stumped. She’s also an honors student.

A Whole New Level Of Skin Peel

, , , , , | Right | May 11, 2022

I’m working at a store that sells things like vitamins, supplements, and sports nutrition. We also have a whole section dedicated to beauty supplements and weight loss products.

Customer: “My wife sent me in to buy hydrochloric acid.”

Me: “Hydrochloric acid? You’re sure?”

Customer: “I’m sure, that’s what she said.”

Me: “Did she mean hyaluronic acid?”

Hyaluronic acid is a supplement that is supposed to increase skin elasticity, reduce wrinkles, and so on. I point out all the various hyaluronic acid beauty products we carry.

Customer: “No, I know she said hydrochloric acid. If you don’t sell it here, where can I get it?”

Me: “Sir, I’m afraid I don’t really know where you’d be able to buy hydrochloric acid! It’s a dangerous chemical. I’m fairly certain your wife wants hyaluronic acid.”

Customer: “Well, if you’re not going to help, I’ll just have to buy it somewhere else.”

Depends Who You Ask, I Suppose

, , , , , | Learning | May 9, 2022

I’m teaching a physics lesson about gravity:

Student: “What country is in the centre of the earth?”

He Sucks At Math But At Least He Doesn’t Have A Screw Loose

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: elder65 | May 8, 2022

I work part-time in tools and hardware at a big box hardware/home DIY store.

Guy: “I need five-sixteenth-inch screws.”

Me: “Screws, lag screws, or bolts?”

Guy: “Screws. I’m putting new hinges on a door and a quarter-inch is too big, so I need five-sixteenth-inch.”

Me: “Uh, five-sixteenths is larger than a quarter by a sixteenth of an inch. A quarter-inch is four-sixteenths.”

Guy: “No, it’s not. I need screws to fit these hinges.”

He takes a hinge out of his pocket and shows it to me.

Me: “Yeah, you need a #14 flathead screw for that. Come with me.”

I take him to the screws aisle and get a #14 screw and drop it in the hole in the hinge. It’s a perfect fit.

Guy: “Yeah, that’s it. Are these five-sixteenth screws?”

Me: “They’re #14 screws; let’s leave it at that. Now, how many do you need?”