It’s a busy Saturday night at our pizza place, even more than we were anticipating, and we ran out of our thin dough. It was too late to make another batch.
Me: “Thanks for calling [Pizza Place]. Before you order, I would like to inform you that we are currently out of our thin dough, so all pizza orders will have to be on pan.”
Caller: “You’re out of all thin dough? I really wanted thin.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are in fact out of all thin for the evening.”
Customer: “Well, can’t you just flatten out the pan dough and make it thin?”
Me: “No, ma’am. The dough is made differently, so one will rise and be fluffy, and one will be thin and crispy.”
Customer: “So just flatten it out. Put it through your roller.”
Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”
Customer: “Why not?”
Me: “That’s not how baking works.”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
I try to avoid what I’m about to do, but she’s asking for it. Bakery autism activated!
Me: “Pan dough has a different hydration level, lipid content, and fermentation schedule, which alter gluten-network viscoelasticity and carbon-dioxide retention. Rolling it thinner would compress the existing gas cells, but it wouldn’t change that formulation or prevent oven spring as the remaining gas expands and water vaporizes. Starch gelatinization and protein coagulation would then set the resulting structure, leaving you with flattened pan dough rather than thin crust.”
Customer: “Well… I don’t know why you couldn’t have just said that at the beginning.” *Click.*
