So Not Smooth

, , , , , , , | Working | July 22, 2021

I stop by a fast food place after work for a fruit smoothie, which is currently being advertised for $1. I order and hand the cashier a $5 bill with change to cover the tax. He gives me $2 back and walks away. I leave it on the counter while I wait for him to come back.

Me: “Those smoothies are a dollar, right?”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “Well, I gave you five dollars.”

I’m trying to give him a chance to realize his mistake.

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “And you gave me two dollars.”

I hold up the coin he gave me.

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “So…?”

He just gives me a blank look.

Me: “I’m going to need another two dollars.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

He opened the till and gave me my two dollars. I have no idea if he was just dense, trying to scam me, or what, but it was definitely odd having to walk a twenty-something dude through kindergarten-level math.

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Don’t Take A Gamble On His Math Skills

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Akitiki | July 3, 2021

I have a guy at the lottery register being impatient that nobody will come over to sell to him; all three registers have lines. After that is under control, I manage to get over to him just to get him out. And this is all while my blood sugar took a nosedive, which makes things harder.

Our tickets are on numbered racks.

Customer: “I want fifteen of #11.”

Me: “You want fifteen of the $3 rocket crossword?”

Customer: “Yes. And I want twenty of #7.”

Me: “And twenty of the $2 Christmas ticket?”

Customer: “Yes.”

I get both of those out and he hands me a $50. I say I’m going to need more than that; it’s $85 for what he got. He starts yelling that it should be $50, saying he wants #11 and #7.

Me: “That’s what I gave you. #11 is $3 and #7 is $2.”

Customer: “They should be $2 and $1!”

Me: “Did you want #7 and #3? #3 is a dollar ticket.”

Customer: “No! #11 and #7!”

I put all the #11 tickets back, ignoring him, put five of the other back, and then fished out twenty of #3. I now had fifteen of the $2 and twenty $1 ones. That came to $50.

Before he could start raving more, I took the $50, pushed the tickets in front of him, and gave the aggressively polite customer service “Have a nice day!” that is really a “Screw off right now!” and he did.

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What Do Cashiers Know About Math?

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Kataddyr | June 29, 2021

I’m a cashier and we have a lot of 20%-off coupons. I’ve had a few people check my math with their phone calculators when deciding which coupon to use. I’m absolutely fine with that.

Customer: “Would I get a better deal with the coupon for $20 off a purchase of over $80 or the one for 20% off one item?”

Me: “Your largest item is over $100, so the 20%-off coupon gets you the better deal.”

Customer: “Do you go to [University]?”

Me: “No?”

Customer: “Okay.”

And then she proceeded to check my math for five minutes — I don’t know why it took her so long — and I had to call someone to hook on another register because the line was getting long.

She finally agreed that 20% off the over-$100 item was more than $20 and paid.

I live in a college town, but, ma’am, this was not college-level math.

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Counting Counts

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: The Cheeseman | June 27, 2021

I work in a drugstore that also has photo printing services. During the peak holiday season, a lady and her husband come in to use the self-service photo kiosk and print off 173 photos. While they’re printing, the lady shops around and picks out a single Chapstick.

Once her photos are done printing, she brings the pictures plus her Chapstick up to the counter and hands me a coupon for $1 off healthcare items.

We’re really busy, and the way our system works, you have to scan a barcode for the photos and enter the quantity to make the system calculate the total. The max you can enter is ninety-nine. If it’s more than ninety-nine, you have to scan it a second time and do the math manually to calculate the difference. There’s a huge line, so I really don’t feel like taking the extra five seconds to figure it out. Usually, when I do this, I err on the side of caution and intentionally undercalculate by a couple of photos to avoid someone coming back and saying I overcharged them.

I scan it once for ninety-nine and then a second time for like forty. I admit, this is my mistake, but it is the holidays and I am feeling generous. Shouldn’t have done that.

I scan the Chapstick and the coupon. The coupon rejects because Chapstick doesn’t qualify as a “healthcare item” I explain that we can’t use that coupon, and her husband immediately says, very aggressively:

Husband: “I AM A LAWYER! IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE COUPONS LIKE THIS, THEY NEED TO SPECIFY WHAT QUALIFIES AND WHAT DOESN’T!”

And so on and so forth.

Me: “Okay, no problem. We’ll override that for you.”

I void the transaction and re-ring it. But this time, I take my time to make sure I ring them for exactly the number of photos they got. I override the coupon and I tell them the total, which is now four or five dollars MORE than their previous one. I explain what I did on the previous transaction and that I did that because I was in a hurry, but for the sake of accuracy, I’ve done everything correctly this time.

They huff a little bit and leave, and I go on about my day.

About an hour later, the wife comes back and says her total doesn’t seem right. I offer to take a look at the receipt and we go over it together.

Me: “Okay, you got 173 photos. They’re 39 cents each.”

I punch it into the calculator,

Me: “That equals [amount]. Plus your Chapstick which was $3.29, minus your one-dollar coupon. That makes your total [total].”

Lady: “HA! But you charged me more than that! See?”

She points at her total.

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s tax, which is calculated at 7%.”

I enter that into the calculator, and we get the exact amount on her receipt. She’s looking really confused. She frowns.

Lady: “Hmmm… that still doesn’t seem right.”

Sorry. Can’t teach you math. But let me tell you, I will never cut corners to help someone out again.

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Pair This Down So That They Understand

, , , , | Right | June 7, 2021

Caller: “Hi, I was in there earlier and someone sold me contacts. I was supposed to get a box of twelve, but only received six pairs.”

She had the same prescription for both eyes. I had to think for a moment about how to respond.

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