When I was the manager of a storage place, I had a lady who was several months behind on rent. I made the obligatory cold calls for her to catch up before we got rid of her stuff, and finally got her to send a friend to come make the payment.

Customer’s Friend: “What’s the total owed?”

I broke it down and explained the late fees, etc.

Customer’s Friend: *Screaming.* “What?! That’s outrageous! My friend is the closest thing to Jesus I know! You know you just charged Jesus a late fee?!”

After I took a second to compose myself…

Me: “Ma’am, I think Jesus would pay his bills on time.”

Caller: *Angry.* “What the f*** is this reminder fee on my account?!”

Me: “That’s a small fee we charge when you’re late paying for your subscription.”

Caller: “But I don’t want the subscription anymore!”

Me: “Oh, did you cancel it?”

Caller: “No! I just stopped paying it, so it should be obvious I don’t want it anymore!” *Click.*

She hung up before I could say anything else. I tried calling her back, but I got no answer, so I left a voicemail, politely explaining that you can’t cancel a subscription by ghosting.

I work at a call center for a company that provides various monthly services. A caller has gone through the security questions and then asks:

Caller: “I just got this month’s invoice for [services], and there’s an extra charge on it. Take it off.”

Me: “I can see that the charge is for a late payment fee from the previous month.”

Caller: “I was late by like, a day, but I paid it.”

Me: “Payment was made nine days late.”

Caller: “Whatever, I paid it!”

Me: “I’m afraid we do need to charge the late processing fee, ma’am.”

Caller: “I didn’t agree to that!”

Me: “You did, ma’am, when you signed the contract.”

Caller: “The contract didn’t say anything about charging me extra without my permission.”

Me: “There is a very specific stipulation about late fees. I can show you if you like—”

Caller: “—I’m a lawyer, and what you’re doing is illegal.”

Me: “No, ma’am, the contract says—”

Caller: “—I didn’t sign it, so it’s not valid.”

Me: “It looks like you did sign the contract, ma’am. I see here that you signed up online, so the contract would have appeared on the screen for you to read and sign.”

Caller: “I would be a pretty stupid lawyer if I signed something without reading it!”

Me: “I agree.”

Caller: “Oh my god, are you calling me stupid!”

Me: “I am agreeing with you.”

Caller: “Get me your manager, now!”

I laugh inside and transfer her to a manager. My manager walks over to me later, laughing.

Manager: “Yeah, she was stupid…”

A few years ago, there was a terrible fire in a high-rise in London that killed close to eighty people. I was brought in as a management consultant to help coordinate various public sector agencies to deal with the families of the deceased and people who had been made homeless, lost their possessions, etc., in an expedited manner.

When the time came to pay the bill, the public body that hired me was late. It happens, but as a small business owner, I can’t afford for clients to be late. I tried to engage with the public body to get payment, but was stonewalled. So, I applied the legally required late penalty charges.

A senior manager at this body went BALLISTIC. Refused to pay, called me every name under the sun. I stood my ground until the manager said, “I’ve told everyone [e.g., other potential clients] how horrible you are to use a national tragedy to try and extort money from us”.

I didn’t want my reputation to suffer, but I wasn’t going to back down. I told her it was (a) the law, (b) in the contract she signed, and (c) I had tried to get payment several times to avoid these charges. So I immediately made a freedom of information request for a copy of all those communications. This manager then backs down and claims she never said anything to anyone and paid the bill (with penalties).

But did say she would not be using our services again.

I told her that I wouldn’t want to work with someone who, in fact, DID use a national tragedy to try and get out of paying her bills, but if she changed her behaviour and improved her financial systems, I might consider telling peers in my industry not to run a mile if she calls them.

My lifelong vet retired, so I went to a new vet with my cat for a checkup. This place is open on Saturdays, which is great for my work schedule. I quickly learned that it was not great for the rest of my day. I arrived at 10:45 for my 11:00 appointment. The woman behind the desk did not acknowledge me for ten minutes, despite standing right in front of her. Every time the phone rang, she picked it up immediately and helped them. Finally, the phone stopped.

Receptionist: “Checking out?”

Me: “No, checking in for Felix.”

Receptionist: “Okay, have a seat. Someone will be with you.”

The phone rings again, and I take a seat. The receptionist came around a few minutes later and gave me some paperwork to fill out while I waited. Another twenty minutes went by (now about 11:15) before I was taken to a room.

Nobody came in to see Felix until almost noon. Even then, the tech took his carrier to the back room to have him examined. I waited another half an hour before he was returned to me with a bill.

Tech: “He’s good. Come back in six months for a checkup unless something happens.”

I looked at the bill and almost dropped the carrier. $80 exam fee, $40 nail trim I didn’t ask for, $25 for disposal of sharps, but no shots were given, and $50 “cat care specialist assistance.” I went to the front desk, where the receptionist was, again, prioritizing phone calls. I sat down and waited another ten minutes before she acknowledged me again.

Receptionist: “Hi. Who do we have?”

Me: *Handing over the bill.* “Felix. Can you explain why there is a sharps disposal fee and what a cat care specialist does?”

Receptionist: “I don’t know, hon, I just run the desk. If you want the doctor, you’ll have to wait.”

Me: “I’ll wait.”

Receptionist: *Annoyed.* “Fine. Have a seat.”

I sat for another half hour before someone came out.

Vet: “Hi, you wanted your bill explained?”

Me: “Yes. Why is there a sharps disposal fee?”

Vet: “For vaccines.”

Me: “He didn’t get any.”

Vet: “Oh. Well, it must be for something else.”

Me: “If you can’t tell me why you’re charging me for this, it needs to be removed. And what is this cat care specialist?”

Vet: “Our teams go through specific training to handle cats with care and compassion.”

Me: “Don’t all good vets and vet techs do that?”

Vet: *Snippy.* “Fine. I’ll take them off this bill, but I am blacklisting you from my practice. I don’t have time to deal with this bull-s***.”

Me: “I’ve already blacklisted you, don’t worry about it.”

I paid my reduced bill and left. 

When we got home, I saw that his nails had NOT been trimmed, or if they had it was barely anything. I quickly found a new vet who did not try to pull the same thing and actually sat down with me to examine my cat instead of taking him away and bringing him back with a bill.