Instant Messages From Heaven

, , , , , , | Related | August 19, 2019

My grandmother passed away. My family and I cleaned out her home, donating some goods, throwing away some, and keeping some. Among those items kept was a tablet. My aunt gave me the password, and it was decided I would keep it.

The first time I turned on the tablet, a few weeks after she passed, I decided to snoop through what pictures, music, games, and other apps my grandmother had on there. I know, invasion of privacy and all, but inquiring minds wanted to know. I then went over to her Facebook and also opened the Facebook Messenger app. It turns out she had never opened or used the app before, and as those of us who use the app know, the first time you open the app, it sends a notification to your friends letting them know you’re now on the service, and they can contact you there. It also showed her as “online.” Not two minutes later, I — or rather, my grandmother — receive a message from my sister.

“Uhh… Nini? Hello?”

I quickly changed the status to offline, closed the app, and shut down the tablet. I haven’t touched it since. I then sent a text to my sister letting her know that no, her dead grandmother was not using Facebook in Heaven.

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Oof, And Also Yikes

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 1, 2019

I recently overheard this at the apartment pool:

“I told him I wished he’d die in a car accident, and then he died in that car accident? I meant it, but I didn’t mean it mean it.”

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Driving Towards Faith In Humanity

, , , , , , , | Hopeless | July 26, 2019

My mother-in-law is an amazing, sweet, kind, and generous woman, who I am lucky to call family. 

Yesterday, I was being released from hospital following major abdominal surgery. My husband was due to collect me after visiting his mum in a hospital local to our home. She had been in intensive care for the past three weeks with sepsis that wasn’t responding well to treatment. As he was about to leave his hospital, the doctor told him that his mum was not going to last much longer and he needed to stay with his dad and his sister for the end. He phoned me and told me the news and we agreed I would have to get a cab home despite the cost. 

I made the arrangements via the hospital’s concierge and sat to wait near another lady in the lobby. We sort of smiled at each other, and then she gestured to a bag the other side of her and asked if it was mine. I said no and pointed to my suitcase next to me and said that was all I had. 

We then struck up a short conversation about our reasons for being there. She asked what was wrong and said I seemed upset. I explained that my husband couldn’t collect me as his mum was dying and not expected to last long and that I was waiting for a cab. She instantly waved her hand and said her driver would take me home. I protested, as I already had the cab booked and it would be too far as I live the other side of the river, but she insisted and told the concierge to cancel my cab. Then, she told a gentleman outside the entrance to take my address and ensure her driver took me home as soon as possible. 

I was definitely overwhelmed by this point and forgot to ask for her name, but I did give her a hug and thank her for making my day so much easier. She then left with her assistant. When her car arrived, I got in with my suitcase, and then my husband called to tell me his mum had gone. Thanks to that incredibly generous stranger, I was able to be with him and the rest of our family when it really mattered and, yes, faith in humanity restored.

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Magazines Are Dying

, , , , | Legal | July 21, 2019

(My uncle passed away six months ago and my aunt is not comfortable telling strangers that she lives alone. The phone rings.)

Aunt: “Hello?

Caller: “Is [Late Husband] available?”

Aunt: “No, he’s not.”

Caller: “I’m calling on behalf of [Organization her husband was a member of] about renewing your subscription to our magazine.”

Aunt: “No, thank you. We won’t be renewing it.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Aunt: “Absolutely.”

Caller: “Well, I talked to [Uncle] a couple of weeks ago, and he told me he was renewing!”

Aunt: “You talked to him a couple of weeks ago? Are you sure?”

Caller: “Oh, yes, and he told me he was renewing!”

Aunt: “Well, when you talk to him again, can you have him call me? He died six months ago, and I sure do miss him!”

Caller: *click*

(She never heard from them again, and they quit getting the magazine.)

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A Message From The Dead

, , , , , | Healthy | July 18, 2019

My sister was a nurse in the geriatric ward of a hospital. Once, when she was doing the night shift, a patient died in his sleep due to old age. The normal procedure would be to get the bed out of the room on the corridor and someone from pathology would come up and collect it. The problem here was that the patient’s death was noticed around five or six in the morning and pathology had a shift change, so it would take longer as usual for someone to come up.

My sister and the other nurse present were worried that some of the early bird patients would wander the corridor and notice the body, so they decided to move the bed to the nurse’s room. The other nurse went on to respond to a patient’s call and my sister started preparing the morning medications for the patients.

Now, I assume everybody is familiar with rigor mortis? The body getting stiff after death? Well, that’s not a process that happens immediately. It takes some time, sometimes up to two days, until the whole body is stiff.

So, my sister was moving around in the small nurse’s office and preparing the medications, doing what you need to do for that. Occasionally, she would bump into the bed a little bit. Finally, the dead had enough of his disturbed peace and his hand slid out under the blanket, giving my sister a slap right on her backside.

The whole ward was awake after that.

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