Nothing Is More Sobering Than The Law

, , , , | Right | July 5, 2020

I work in a sandwich shop two blocks away from a college campus. We stay open until 4:00 am but lock the bathroom every night at midnight as a result of people puking, having sex, doing drugs, etc., in the bathroom after that point. The building we are connected to still has a public bathroom connected to it. Despite this, drunk people still always try to argue with us about locking the bathroom. There are a lot of stories about those arguments, but this one is my favorite.

A drunk guy, who is likely no more than nineteen years old, comes into the store.

Drunk Guy: “Hey, man, your bathroom is locked and I’ve been waiting for like ten minutes. I don’t think anyone is in there. Can you unlock it for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we close the bathrooms at midnight. There is a public one just outside, to the left.”

Drunk Guy: “You can’t do that! I need to go!”

The kid continues to argue with me for about five minutes — he could have gone to and back from the other bathroom multiple times — about how it isn’t okay to lock our bathroom. The local police department has an office a few doors down from us and they frequently come in to eat. As he is arguing, two cops join the line.

Drunk Guy: “I’m a law student, and I know for a fact that if you have a business that can serve more than a hundred people, you have to provide a bathroom. So, are you going to open it, or are we going to have a legal problem?”

Me: “Oh, wow! is it really illegal?”

Drunk Guy: “It is! So, do I need to report you?”

Me: “I guess you should call the police.”

Drunk Guy: “What?”

Me: “Okay, I will.”

I waved over to the cops in line. One noticed me and started to come over, but as soon as the drunk kid saw him, he bolted.

Holy Guacamole!

, , , , , | Working | June 20, 2020

My boyfriend and I are customers. We are the only ones in line and there is one employee behind the counter. The popular “fresh eats” sandwich shop has two new wraps, so we each order one so we can try them both. My sandwich is steak and guacamole. This story starts after the steak and cheese comes out of the toaster.

Employee: “Any toppings?”

Me: “Doesn’t it come with guac?”

Employee: “It’s optional, so yeah, if you want it.”

Me: “Yes, please.”

I am already thinking this is strange.

Me: “And also [other toppings].”

The employee GLOBS on the guac next to everything and rolls my wrap up, rolling it towards the huge pile of guac he put on, squishing it everywhere

I should say something now, but I don’t think it is that bad, and since we are on break from work, we don’t have a lot of time, so we pay and leave.

We drive off and I open my wrap and there is guac ALL OVER everything, including the paper around it. I call my boss to tell her I will be back ASAP but my food is inedible. She says no worries, so we turn around. I am already in tears over this because I have some other things going on, so my boyfriend takes the sandwich to ask them to remake it. This time, someone else is there and there is a line.

Boyfriend: “Can you remake this? It’s a mess; she can’t eat this.”

Employee: “Well, yeah, you wanted guac. I cannot spread it with everything else on the wrap. It is optional; you said you wanted it.”

Me: *Finally speaking up* “Well, can you have him make it, then?”

I point to the other employee.

Employee: “Sure.”

I know I’ve pissed him off, since he goes into the back. He comes back and takes over cash for the other employee to send him to me. I know I made the right call as soon as he starts making my food.

Employee #2: “The steak and guac? Do you want the guac?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

[Employee #2] spread the guac on the wrap BEFORE any other toppings went on.

The second employee’s sandwich was much better. I’ve never had someone assume I DON’T want one of the items in the title of the sandwich and then blame me for the outcome.

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He’s A Creep, He’s A Weirdo

, , , , | Right | June 17, 2020

A male customer in his late twenties or early thirties, whom I’ve never seen before, and who is wearing a Radiohead T-shirt, approaches the register with a sub.

Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I’m good. Where’s Mount Mansfield?”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “Mount Mansfield. Where is it? Isn’t that the place on the bumper sticker of your truck?”

Me: “My tru— Wait, how did you know that that’s my truck?”

Customer: “Oh, just a guess.”

Me: “I… Uh… Mount Mansfield is in Vermont?”

Customer: “Okay!”

The customer pays for his sub and leaves.

Me: *Turns to my manager* “If I go missing or wind up getting murdered, it was totally the guy in the Radiohead shirt who did it.”

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Not What They Meant By “Ground” Beef

, , , , , | Working | June 9, 2020

I work at a sandwich shop. We prep some things so if we run out during the day we can easily replace it during the day. My coworker is prepping meatballs, which are stored in a large container with lots of sauce. He goes to the back to store them in the fridge when I hear a loud thud. He walks back out with a look of anger and sadness on his face and from the waist down he’s covered in sauce.

Me: “Oh, no.”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, it’s a mess. Dropped the whole thing on the floor.”

We both go to grab stuff to clean while another coworker looks at us. 

Coworker #2: “Did the meatballs get on the floor?”

Coworker #1: “Yeah?”

Coworker #2: “Then pick them up and put more sauce in the bin; they’re fine.”

Me: “What? We are not serving people meatballs that have been on the floor of a walk-in fridge!”

Coworker #2: “It’s not like there are cameras in there!”

I just walked away in horror and helped clean up the meatballs — which we put in the trash. I’m just scared about what she served to customers when I wasn’t there.

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Unfiltered Story #195964

, , | Unfiltered | June 9, 2020

(I am in line at a famous sandwich chain waiting patiently to make my order. The woman in front of me orders tuna on her sandwich. I am not paying attention until:)

Employee: (begins pressing tuna down on sandwich)

Customer: You don’t have to do that.

(The employee continues to smash it as he is halfway done now)

Customer: (rudely) Hellooooo? I said you don’t have to do that. Can you hear meeeee?

Employee: (stops) I’m sorry ma’am, I thought you said I didn’t have to, but we like to-

Customer: It shouldn’t matter what you like to do, I don’t like it pressed down.

Employee: Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you didn’t like it like that.

Customer: I *said* I didn’t like it.

Employee: (opens his mouth to respond but decides better of it, as that is NOT what she said) Yes, ma’am.

(I begin my order with the Employee #2, so don’t hear much else as she finishes her order until she gets to the register.)

Customer: And you really should listen to your customers if they’re paying for something and say they don’t like something.