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A Sub-Standard Sub-Service

, , | Right | January 17, 2023

I work at a sandwich shop. We have sourdough sandwiches. We do not have sub sandwiches. Our prices also increased last year, and our food is expensive.

Customer #1: “How much are your footlongs?”

Manager: “Ma’am, this isn’t [Sub Chain]. We don’t have footlongs.”

Customer #1: “Do you have sub sandwiches?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

He leaves.

On another occasion:

Me: “That comes to $12.99.”

Customer #2: “For a sandwich?! That’s ridiculous!”

He also leaves.

On another occasion:

Customer #3: “I would like a milkshake.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, all we have are brownies, cookies, and cinnamon rolls.”

Customer #3: *Points* “Then what’s that?”

Me: “That’s cinnamon roll frosting, sir. It’s incredibly sweet and won’t be very good by itself.”

Customer #3: “Give me a quart of that.”

I had to get my manager to explain to him why we couldn’t do that, either.

Some Say She’s Still There, Arguing And Sandwichless

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Easy_Confidence2563 | December 7, 2022

I work going door to door for a utility company with a team of five. We all dress the same — in black with our company logos — and in bad weather, we have very warm matching raincoats, also with the logo. We also have badges with our names on them and the company’s information so people know we aren’t random grifters.

On this particular day, there is a downpour so bad that it is one of only two times in four years that our leadership decides to pull us out of the field. As this is rare, we don’t really have a protocol in place, and we are told to hunker down nearby with the company van to see if it gets better before they send us home for the day or back out.

We decide to check out a small sandwich shop one of the guys swears is the best in the area. Wet and hungry, we all think this sounds great and head right on over to get some food while still on the clock and getting paid until we hear back.

The place is small but looks decent, and it’s also part convenience store. They don’t have a counter you order at but an employee that walks around and takes orders. With someone already talking to him, I know it’s going be a minute until all five of us get our orders in, so I elect to go last and check around the store as I’m in no hurry. After looking around, I see that my coworkers have all had their orders in, so I go up to do mine. Due to this, my order is made last and has a bit of a delay.

My four coworkers all sit down and start to eat while I wait for my sandwich. An older lady walks up to me and starts giving me a sandwich order without so much as a hello. I cut her off.

Me: “Oh, I don’t work here.”

To which I get the confusing reply:

Lady: “So, you’re working, you just don’t work here? Uh-huh, sure.”

Then, she rolls her eyes and starts giving me her order again. I put my hand up to cut her off, point to the logo on my jacket — which is still soaked, by the way — and ask:

Me: “Does this look like the store’s name to you?”

My order was announced at this point, so I stepped away, grabbed my sandwich, and smiled at her as I walked by her again to sit with the four people dressed identically to me who were already eating.

You’d think this would be the end of it, with me just eating my sandwich while basking in that lady’s indignation, but no. She stomped off and found the proper person to speak with, dragged him back into view, and started complaining about me while he desperately tried to explain that I didn’t work there.

By the time we finished eating and left, I still don’t think she had placed an order.

Tales From The Q-Continuum

, , , , , | Right | December 4, 2022

I’m buying a sandwich at Quizno’s. The name is important because this evening, and for the last few evenings, the neon sign outside has been broken and only the Q in the name is visible at night.

I’m paying for my sandwich when I see a customer approach the manager.

Customer: “Saw the sign. Glad there’s more of us out here now.”

Manager: *Big sigh* “Sir, like I have told everyone else, the sign is simply broken. We are not associated with QAnon or any other conspiracy within the government. We sell sandwiches, soups, occasionally cookies, and that is all.”

Customer: “Ah.” *Winks* “Gotcha. So, what would you… recommend?”

Manager: “There are no hidden messages in the sandwiches!”

Customer: “So… the soup, then. Gotcha. I’ll take a [Soup].”

Manager: *Even bigger sigh* “Fine. That’ll be [total].”

The customer gets his soup and leaves satisfied. I haven’t left as I’ve been transfixed during the whole conversation. I make eye contact with the manager.

Manager: “That’s the third one today!”

Me: “Seriously?”

Manager: “I have half a mind to go outside and break the last letter on the sign to stop these nutjobs coming in here.”

Me: “But they’re buying stuff. Gotta be good for sales?”

Manager: “Not worth it. Especially when they come back upset and demanding a refund because proof that the government is run by lizard people isn’t found wedged between their lettuce and cheese.”

Me: “…fair point.”

I came back later, and the neon sign was still broken but simply said, “no”. Not sure if this was a genuine fault or the manager making a stand.

Welcome To The World; It Often Sucks

, , , , , | Working | November 30, 2022

While I was in college, I worked the closing shifts at a nearby sandwich place to earn a little extra scratch.

About an hour into my shift, my coworker, a high school student, answers the phone. No big deal — we take phone orders, so I figure there is nothing out of the ordinary.

Then, my coworker starts getting agitated before hanging up the receiver with a haunted look on his face.

Me: “What’s wrong?”

Coworker: “That was the Social Security Office. They said that for failing to comply with their directives, they are going to be contacting the Federal Authorities for an investigation.”

Yeah, right. And I’m the Queen of Sheba.

The kid was distraught, so I took him aside and told him the facts of life — namely, that no government employee is working past six on a Friday, and that Social Security will NEVER, EVER cold call you.

We spent a little bit talking about a few near-misses of me being scammed, and he felt a lot better about it after that.

Don’t Be THAT Idiot

, , , , , | Right | November 22, 2022

I work at one of those sandwich shops where the customers watch us make their sandwiches behind the glass. My manager has just received some bad news so is not taking any BS from anyone today.

Customer: “I want a sub of the day on the Italian. And make it right this time! You idiots have gotten my order wrong three times already!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I—”

Manager: *To me* “No, don’t apologize to them.” *To the customer* “Apologize to my employee for calling her an idiot.”

Customer: “I will not! If you don’t want them called idiots, then don’t hire idiots!”

Manager: “You watch us make the sandwich in front of you, and yet you didn’t get what you ordered?”

Customer: “Well, I—”

Manager: “And you let this happen three times?!

Customer: “Look, I—”

Manager: “And you think we’re the idiots?!

The customer gave up at that point and left.

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