This happened today at a well known sandwich shop near my work.

A couple standing ahead of me in the queue approaches the server to ask for their sandwiches and they decide they both want two foot long sandwiches each. The server proceeds to start them off then moves them down the line and calls “Next customer please”

However the couple suddenly decides they aren’t done and requests two six inch subs in addition. the server moves to make these whilst further down the line the first two subs are out of the oven and the next server is asking for what salads they want. The first server has now finished the next two subs moves them down the line and of course “Next customer please”

But the couple still aren’t done, they order two portions of nachos. by this point the line is building up and the sandwiches are pilling up on the line as they couple struggles to work out what salads and sauces they want. With impressive speed the server whips up two portions of nachos (One Chicken and one steak) and moves them down the line and again calls “next customer please”

Just as the other customers and I seem to sigh in relief that we might finally get a chance to order our own lunch. The man speaks up and requests ANOTHER two foot long subs. By the time the SIX subs are being given the salad and sauces they staff are rushing to clear the backlog of sandwiches. Fortunately the couple has finally agreed that they are finished and moves down the line to pay.

The woman ahead of me places her order and her sandwich ends up lost in the backlog of subs from earlier. By the time my own sub is being completed the couple has left but I notice the woman ahead of me is paying while there is still a sub on the counter between mine and hers.

Me: Umm, sorry but you may want to check they are giving you the right sub since there is one on the counter behind the one you are paying for and it isn’t mine.

Woman: That’s the meatball sub right?

Staff: Yes meatball yes!

She pays and leaves and the staff member working the counter tries to charge me for the random foot long. Seconds later the woman returns having been given the wrong sub…

I honestly cant fault the staff, this was the middle of the lunch rush and they did their best to keep up with the couple.

Honestly, if you are going to place a large order in a restaurant like this, warn the staff upfront.

I’ve worked at this particular sandwich shop for over five years and have yet to have a customer complaint called in on me, which is no easy feat.

A middle-aged woman steps up to order. It’s important to note that I tend to explain things to customers if they seem like they need it so maybe next time they will order correctly.

Me: “Hi, how are y—”

Customer: “Give me some of that dark bread!”

I pause; there are two types of bread that could be considered dark.

Me: “We have [bread #1] and [bread #2]. Which one would yo—”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this. Gimme that dark bread!”

I make a guess and pick [bread #1] and place it on the counter to cut it.

Customer: “Is that bread soft?”

Me: “I baked all of these breads less than two hours ago.”

I offer the bread to her to feel; we are allowed to do this as long as, if they don’t want the bread, we credit it and don’t use it. She shakes her head and waves me off.

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this. Put some of that dark turkey on it!”

I look at the meat options and nothing there could be construed as dark turkey; our turkey meat is made from turkey breast. She starts pointing at what she wants, but the way our unit is set up, it’s nearly impossible to accurately tell what a customer is pointing at, so I start pointing for her. I point at the turkey, no, ham, no, then…

Customer: “That! That dark turkey!”

Me: “Okay, so this is what you want on your sandwich? No problem! Just so you know, this is roast beef.”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this. I want some of that turkey on it, too.”

I pause; we don’t have a sandwich made up of turkey and roast beef. I try to figure if I should just do a double-meat sandwich or a [sandwich type]. 

Me: “Okay, we don’t have a sandwich that’s just turkey and roast beef, but we do have a [sandwich type], but it also has ham. I could leave the ham off, if you want?”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this.”

I decide to do the [sandwich type] minus the ham and put the standard amount of meat on it and slide the sandwich down.

Customer: “Is that all the meat I get?”

Me: “That’s the standard amount; if you like, I could add double meat but it’s an extr—”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this. I want some extra meat.”

I slide the sandwich back down, redistribute and add to the meat, and slide it to the previous position. Corporate has just mandated that we aren’t supposed to ask about cheese anymore since cheese doesn’t fit with the nutritional brand profile — and yes, I know it is stupid.

Me: “Would you like this toasted?”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this.”

Okay, not toasted, then. I go to move down to the veggies.

Customer: “What, I ain’t get cheese on it?”

I pause and give a hopefully chagrined smile.

Me: “You can absolutely have cheese! We just aren’t allowed t—”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this. Gimme that white cheese.”

I look down at the four varieties of cheese we offer, all white. Rather than asking, I just grab the most commonly used cheese and put it on the sandwich.

Customer: “Is that all the cheese I get?”

Me: “It’s the standard amount. If you’d like extra—”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this. Gimme more cheese.”

I put extra on and move to the veggies.

Customer: “What, you ain’t going to toast it?”

Me: “No problem!”

I turn and grab the necessary items and put the sandwich on the tray.

Customer: “What, I ain’t get no veggies on it?”

I smile slightly, again.

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry! We don’t typically put veggies on before something’s toasted because it wilts the veggies, but we can absolutely—”

Customer: “I ain’t got time for this. Put some tomatoes on there.”

I pull the sandwich, still on the paddle for toasting, back to the veggies and add the requested tomatoes. As I go to put the sandwich in the toaster, my eagle-eyed manager sees me shake my head an inch — something that would be very believable as part of the motion to put the sandwich in the toaster if you were looking from behind like the customer. The next thing I know, my coworker, who was washing dishes, comes from the back.

Coworker: “Hey, [Manager] wants to see you in the back. You go on, and I’ll finish.”

I nod and head towards the back, but not before plugging in what the sandwich and its extras are on the register. When I walk into the back, [Coworker #2] bursts out laughing.

Coworker #2: “How did you keep your cool for so long while eight months pregnant?!”

And that’s how I kept my customer-complaint-free streak going until I left after the baby was born.

(I am visiting my sister at work, She works at a sandwich shop inside a grocery store. I have to go to the bathroom but I see a sign that says “No bathrooms in the sandwich shop, bathrooms in the grocery store only” so I go out to the grocery store to use the bathroom then come back to talk to my sister.)

Me: “How many customers ask if you have a bathroom in the shop?”

Sister: “Several customers everyday”

Me: (Smugly) “I read the signs”

Sister: (To her coworker) “Hey, come here”

Me: (To Coworker) “How many customers ask if you have a bathroom in the shop?”

Coworker: “Daily, or in general?”

Me: (Smugly again) “I read the signs”

Coworker: “Thank you, you are officially the best customer we’ve had”

I’m visiting my cousin and his wife for the first time since they moved out of state. I stop by a small sandwich shop on the way to my cousin’s house to get lunch.

Cashier: “Okay, that’ll be $11 plus tax.”

Me: “And how much is that altogether?”

Cashier: “It’s $11 plus tax.”

Me: “I know, but how much is it altogether?”

Cashier: “$11 plus tax.”

Me: “I know there’s tax, but how much? I’m from Minnesota, and I’m not familiar with the tax rate in Pennsylvania.”

Cashier: “It’s $11… Plus. Tax.”

Me: “How much with tax included?”

Cashier: “Eleven. Dollars. Plus! Tax!”

Me: “How much tax?”

Cashier: “What part about ‘$11 plus tax’ don’t you understand? Stop wasting my time and get the f*** out!”

Just then, the owner comes to the counter from the kitchen.

Owner: “Again? Really? Go to the office. Wait for me there.” *To me* “I’m sorry about that, hon. Your total is $11.66.”

She also gave me a free cookie as an apology for the cashier’s behavior. I stopped at that sandwich shop again for another sandwich on the way back to the airport. The cashier wasn’t there.

Related:
Taxing Taxing, Part 6
Taxing Taxing, Part 5
Taxing Taxing, Part 4
Taxing Taxing, Part 3
Taxing Taxing, Part 2

It is the middle of lunch rush with a long-a** line out the door.

Me: “Hi! How many sandwiches?”

Customer: *Mumbles* “Six-inch tuna on wheat.”

Me: “Alright! Just one sandwich?”

She doesn’t answer, and continues to mumble to herself. I still make the sandwich.

Me: “Did you want any cheese?”

Customer: “EXCUSE ME?! IM ON THE PHONE!… no cheese.”

I f****** hate when customers are on their d*** phones and refuse to talk to us. We’re making your stupid a** sandwich, the least you can do is tell us respectfully.