(After work I always head to the same sandwich shop. In this sub shop, to save time, they will charge you while your sub is toasting. When I walk in, I see a young man in our uniform accosting the workers at the sub shop.)

Uniformed Teen: “G**d***, you people are so slow! I know we’re down the road from [Nearby University], but that doesn’t give you an excuse to show up high at work or be lazy little s***s at work!”

Worker: “As I told you, sir, the toaster takes a few minutes, and I’m otherwise going as fast as I can.” *starts adding his requested vegetables and toppings*

Uniformed Teen: “Well, that’s not very fast, then. What’re you, slow? Do you even know what I’m saying, b****?”

(My initial shock at seeing a fellow employee treat someone this way wears off and I speak up.)

Me: “So, you work over at [Our Shared Workplace?]”

Uniformed Teen: “Yeah? So? The f*** does it mean to yo—“

(He has now turned around and fully looked me over. I’m wearing my supervisor uniform, sans nametag which I have taken off.)

Uniformed Teen: “Oh, s***!” *runs off before I can get his name*

Worker: “Holy s***! That was hilarious! Hey, he already paid for his sub, chips, and drink. Do you want them?”

(I initially declined, but the worker insisted. I bought my full meal and brought the extra chips and drink to my roommate!)

So this really dopy old guy comes in (must have been 50 or 60) and he’s speaking really slowly and carefully like he’s really stupid and has to concentrate really hard just so as to be able to talk at all.

Old man: Can I have sliced cheddar cheese, on a brown baguette, with salad, with onion on it, please?

Me: Cheese and onion?

Old man: Cheese, that’s sliced cheddar cheese, not grated, and onion, and salad. I have to ask for the onion separately as well as the salad because I have been told that the salad does not include the onion unless I ask for it.

I made him his baguette on white because we didn’t have brown, and I wrapped it up and gave it to him. A couple of minutes later he came back in, and he queued up again and when the queue was finished he spoke to me again.)

Old man: Sorry, I didn’t know the rules had changed. Can I have some tomato and cucumber on this? Sorry, I thought it automatically came with the salad, it always has done in the past. It’s an extra 20p per filling, isn’t it?

Me: I gave you what you asked for: cheese, salad and onion.

Old man: Sorry, but I thought salad meant lettuce, tomato and cucumber, not just lettuce. Can I have tomato and cucumber on this as well? That’s what I usually have. I come in here a lot. I didn’t know the rules had changed. (And he put 50p and his baguette, which he had taken a bite out of, on the counter.)

(I knew he was lying because I had never seen him before and I’d been working there nearly the whole week. I could tell he was working a scam but I couldn’t work out what sort of scam it was.)

Me: I can’t change your baguette now, you’ve already taken a bite out of it. I gave you what you asked for, it’s not my fault you didn’t ask for the right thing.

Old man: But I did ask for the right thing. I thought salad meant lettuce and tomato and cucumber, not just lettuce.

Me: You’re not scamming us out of a new sandwich. You can either leave now or I’m calling the police.

(Thank goodness the stupid old man left. The bad news is that he left his sandwich on the counter and I had to throw it away and disinfect the counter. The good news is that he left his 50p on the counter as well, so the tills were up that day! Every cloud has its silver lining. With any luck we won’t see him again.)

(I am working at a sandwich restaurant with just one other person, and we have about fifteen customers. I’m having to put veggies on customers’ orders and work the till. I’ve just rung out four customers when I wash my hands and put on gloves to start with veggies.)

Me: *while putting on gloves* “Hi. What veggies can I get on your sandwich?”

Customer #1: “Lettuce, pickle, and mayo.”

Me: “All right. Is that it for you today?”

Customer #1: “LETTUCE, PICKLE, AND MAYO!”

Me: “Yeah, I got that. Is that it for you today?”

Customer #1: “Oh… Yeah, that’s it.”

Me: *moves on to the next customer* “Any lettuce or tomato?”

Customer #2: “Lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mayo, please.”

(I finish both orders and wrap them up. I’ve just taken off my gloves to ring them up.)

Customer #1: “No, she and I are not together; don’t add her to my total!”

Me: *internally facepalms* “Yes, ma’am, I know this.”

Customer #1: “SHE AND I ARE NOT TOGETHER!”

Me: “I KNOW! Your total is $6.54. Your order is in front of you. Hers is off to the side here. So, stop trying to grab both, or I will charge you for hers, too.”

Customer #1: *quietly swipes card*

(I walk into a local [Sandwich Shop], a very small location with only one employee working the counter at a time. There is one customer already in front of me, who is ordering for his family, and I can clearly see that this guy is already agitated. He’s pacing around the store, barely looking at the employee, and barking orders at her while he asks his family what they want. Being in food service, as well, that already gets my dander up, because I HATE those kinds of people. But the tiny girl behind the counter is doing the best she can, being genial and polite to this gentleman, and getting his sandwiches for him. But all of a sudden, out of the blue, he just starts going off.)

Customer: “Excuse me. What is that look for?”

(This girl has not changed her expression the entire time. When he speaks to her about this, she is clearly confused.)

Employee: “I’m sorry… What?”

Customer: “You’re giving me some look. Do we have a problem?”

Employee: *still politely* “No, sir, we don’t have a problem.”

(The employee then turns to get his second sandwich from the toaster and he seems to leave it like that. But as soon as she turns around to ask him what he wants on the second sandwich, he goes off again.)

Customer: “Look. Clearly, you have a problem with me. I see it in your look. What did you say to me? Why are you being rude?”

Employee: *still polite as she can, but she is now getting a little upset* “Sir, I don’t have any look! I haven’t said anything to you!”

(I’ve had it with the guy, and since he keeps insisting she is being rude and giving him nasty looks, I finally cut in.)

Me: “Sir, I’ve been watching the whole time and this girl is doing fine. Her expression has not changed, and she is only asking what you want for toppings. Just order your sandwich and leave her alone!”

(I want to say more, but since his daughter is sitting right there, I don’t want to swear at him and show him what it is REALLY like for someone to be rude to him. Once the customer sees me jump to the employee’s aid, however, he finally shuts up after muttering to himself.)

Customer: “Okay, okay, fine… Jesus Christ…”

(He said nothing more after that, paying for his sandwiches and sitting down to eat. When it was my turn I made it a point to be clear and exceedingly polite when placing my order, just to rub it in what a d**k he was. When I got to the counter, the employee said it was on the house and was clearly grateful that I’d stepped in. I still sat near the counter while the guy was there, just in case he tried to harass the girl again. I’m so sick of people who think it’s okay to harass food workers.)

(I work at a sandwich shop where the employees make the subs right in front of you down an assembly line. It is the beginning of lunch before the lunch crowd rolls in, so there are no customers in the store yet. My coworker and I see two customers walk in, so we approach the bread station and greet them as we wash our hands.)

Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

(The customers nod at me but otherwise ignore us. I’ve finished washing my hands and I’m putting my gloves on at the bread station. The two customers are deeply involved in a conversation.)

Me: “Whenever you’re ready, I can grab your bread selection for you.”

(The customers don’t even acknowledge me, and continue their conversation. My coworker has her hands washed and joins me with her gloves on, and we both stand patiently at the counter while they are chatting loudly and animatedly, facing each other and not even looking at us. Every once in a while my coworker tries to catch their eyes and opens her mouth to speak but they continue to chat, waving their arms around and laughing. Suddenly, mid-sentence, one of the customers snaps his head at us and glares.)

Customer: “So, do you plan on taking our order or not? We’ve been waiting for five minutes already!”

Coworker: *gives me a side glance* “Yeah, sir, we’re ready when you are.”