They Probably Think You’re Drunk On Power

, , , , , , | | Working | June 19, 2019

(I have just started a front desk job at a hotel. I’m working with a senior front desk associate and a maintenance man who is meant to double as security. Late one night, I hear screaming coming from around the corner and there are sounds of violence. My coworker is positioned to see around the corner, and when the noises stop she turns to me.)

Coworker: *wide-eyed* “That lady just threw her phone at her husband and started clawing him in the face before full-on decking him. Right in front of her four-year-old kid! No wonder they cut her off at the bar, if she’s that kind of drunk.”

Me: “Shouldn’t we do something about that? Like call security or something? I mean, if they have a little kid with them, the kid could be in danger.”

Coworker: “I mean, if you want to get involved, you can. Security probably won’t care since they’re in their room now.”

(I decide to call security out of concern for the child.)

Security: “If they’re in their room, there’s nothing I can do.”

Me: “Can’t you go up there and see if everything’s all right?”

Security: “If you’re really that concerned, you can call the police, but it’s not my problem.”

(I call up my supervisor who tells me to go ahead and call the police. The police arrive quickly, go up to the room, and almost instantly come back with the woman in handcuffs. It turns out the dad was visibly wounded and the child was wailing in a corner. The next day, I get a call from the hotel manager.)

Manager: “I heard you called the police on a guest last night?”

Me: “Yes, I did.” *explains story*

Manager: “Well, in the future, I would like you to call security or a supervisor first. The woman who was arrested does very good business with us and left a very good review. We need that kind of repeat guest.”

Me: “I asked my coworker, I called security, and I called a supervisor. My coworker and security wouldn’t help, and my supervisor said to call the police! She was abusing her husband in front of their child!”

Manager: “Your coworker, security, and the supervisor all say they were not involved in the situation. Besides, she was just drunk. She just needed to work it out and everything would have been fine.”

(I didn’t stay there long. I am still fuming as I write this years later. I don’t care how good of a customer someone is; that does not excuse abuse!)

Parking And Wreck-reation

, , , , , , | Right | April 24, 2019

(I work security at a condo building. The building has several levels of parking for the residents who live there. One parking level also includes a section of guest parking. One night, a group of men and women in their late 20s or early 30s stops by the front desk.)

Guests: “Where is guest parking?”

(I point them in the direction of guest parking and continue monitoring the front desk. About a minute later, this group returns to the front desk.)

Guests: “Where is the real guest parking?”

Me: “I already showed it to you.”

Guests: “You’re lying! We parked our car in guest parking and it’s not there! Where is the real guest parking?”

(I know there is only one section of guest parking, so I know these people are confused. I decide to take a different approach.)

Me: “Who are you guys visiting?”

Guests: “[Person] in [unit].”

(I look for their host’s assigned parking spot and realize that is visible on one of the cameras in the parking ramps. I review that camera and vividly see these guests and their host getting out of a minivan several hours earlier. This is allowed in the building. Now I know that their vehicle is parked in a ramp that is different than guest parking.)

Me: “I know where your car is parked; please follow me.”

(The guests follow me to the correct parking level, and as soon as we walk from the elevator lobby into the ramp:)

Guests: “This is not where our car is parked!”

(We are at least 100 feet from the vehicle, so I tell them to just keep following me. As soon as we get to the minivan, the men respond.)

Guests: “May you have seven [women] tonight.”

(I did not respond, but I made sure they left the parking garage safely.)

Couldn’t Have Been The Sharpest TSA Agent

, , , , , | Working | April 22, 2019

(My friend and her husband are traveling for vacation. My friend works for an international fast food company writing training manuals and tweaking ingredient amounts for certain food and drink items. They successfully make it through airport security and are gathering their belongings on a bench thirty feet away to head to the gate. When she is putting her laptop back in the case, she feels something odd inside. She pulls out a large ginsu knife.)

Husband: “Uh, honey? What is that doing in your bag?”

Friend: “Oh, my gosh! I forgot to empty my bag from the [Company] conference! I was doing a demonstration with the knife, and I put it in here to bring home and never took it out!”

Husband: “How did TSA miss that?!”

Friend: “I don’t know! What should I do?”

Husband: “There’s a trash barrel. Quickly! Put it in there!”

(They gathered their belongings, knife hidden underneath her jacket, ran up to the trash barrel, and threw it away. I wonder what else gets missed.)

Putting The “A**” In “All-Access Pass”

, , , , , | Right | March 13, 2019

(I work as a doorman for a large, well-known rock venue in the city centre. We have a good team, and there is usually very little trouble, but we take pride in providing a safe place for people to have fun without being obnoxious. A band I don’t know is playing. I am checking passes at a door that leads backstage, and as you might imagine, fans always want to go backstage to meet their idols, so the rules are pretty strict; if you don’t have a pass, you’re not going backstage. No ifs, no buts, no coconuts. About an hour before the show starts, a guy approaches the door where I’m working.)

Me: “Pass, please.”

Customer: “I don’t have it. I must have left it backstage. Let me through!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but if you don’t have your pass on you, I can’t let you past.”

Customer: “F*** off! I left it backstage. Get out of my way!”

(The customer tries to push past me. I’m not a tall guy, but I’m broad, strong, and used to dealing with drunken idiots. I put my hand on the guy’s chest and gently push him back.)

Me: “I’m sorry. No pass, no entry.”

(The customer now starts on a rant, shouting and swearing, telling me that he’ll have my job, how much he makes compared to me, that I’m fat and too stupid to do anything but guard a door, etc. I’m trained to be calm in situations like these, but the attitude of this guy is getting on my nerves. After a couple of minutes of this, he seems to run out of ideas.)

Me: “Are you done? Look. If you can go and find someone with an Access All Areas pass, they can vouch for you and I can let you through. Until then, you’re not going backstage.”

(At this, he flounces off to find someone with a pass. He returns a few minutes later with a person I recognise from the security briefing: the band’s manager.)

Manager: “What is going on? [Customer] is saying that you threatened him, and you won’t let him backstage?”

(I explain the situation, noting that I don’t know who the band is or what they look like, and that for security reasons you can’t get backstage without a pass. Whilst this is happening, [Customer] is sneering at me over the manager’s shoulder.)

Me: “…so, as you’ve got an Access All Areas pass, you can vouch for him and I can let him past.”

Manager: “Oh. Well, that’s okay, then.”

(The customer smarms past me.)

Me: *to customer* “Remember to wear your pass, and we can avoid this in future.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!”

(Once he’s gone, I explain what the customer was like, and I can see the look the manager’s eyes.)

Manager: “I’m so sorry about him. He’s been showing off like this since we started the tour. He’s not normally like this.”

Me: “No worries. He is an idiot, though. How long have you got left of the tour?”

Manager: “We’ve only just started! We’ve got sixteen weeks to go!”

Me: “I’d suggest taking him aside and explaining that not every place is as nice as us. If he tries that in the wrong place he’s not always going to get such a calm response.”

Manager: “Will do. Thanks for not knocking him on his a**.”

(I saw that the band played the Glastonbury festival this year, so I guess the guy either mellowed out, or the manager drilled some sense into him!)

Could Have Been Sharper That Day

, , , , , | Right | March 7, 2019

(I traveled with my family quite frequently growing up so I am generally well-prepared for going through security, except this one time. I am about fifteen and traveling with my parents. The security agent does all of their checks, passport, liquids, and laptops out, etc., and I have gone through the metal detector.)

Security Agent: “Is this your bag?”

Me: “Yes.”

Security Agent: “I am going to do a search through it.”

(They begin searching through my bag as I rack my brain to figure out what could be in it, and they pull out a small zipper pouch.)

Security Agent: “What do you have in here?”

Me: “String that I am using to make string bracelets…“

(I suddenly clue in to what else is in there right at the same time as he pulls them out: a pair of big kitchen scissors, the only ones I could find at home, which I had been using to cut the string. Cue me turning bright red at being that person in the airport security line.)

Me: “I am so sorry. I totally forgot that those were in there.”

Security Agent: “We are going to confiscate these, but try to be more careful in the future.”

(Thankfully, they realized that it was a genuine mistake and were good about it and didn’t put me on a secondary screening list for life or anything, but my parents, on the other hand, won’t let me live it down.)

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