These Are Tense Times… Very Tense

, , , , , , , | Working | July 23, 2021

I’m a security guard in my office with the door closed. As is standard for this sort of job, there are windows all around, so anyone can see in and I can see out. I’ve just had a new employee show up and she is currently waiting in the hallway outside of my office for her supervisor to show up and show her around. We’re both wearing masks, as is required here due to the ongoing health crisis.

Well, I end up sneezing and I sneeze LOUD. I do cover it in my arm and all that, and I go to clean up with sanitizer out of habit. The next thing I know, the new employee has burst through the door into my office and started shrieking at me about how I’m going to give her “the rona”. I’m pretty dumbfounded by this and just sit there and stare at her while she’s basically throwing a tantrum, yelling things like how dare I put her at risk (by sneezing in a closed room well away from her whilst wearing a mask) and how she’s going to get me fired for endangering people. 

Karma happens then, as her supervisor finally shows up shortly after and apparently watches for a bit. Once she has seen enough, the supervisor approaches.

Supervisor: “Excuse me. Are you [Employee]?”

Employee: “Yeah!”

Supervisor: “And today’s your first day?”

Employee: “Uh-huh!”

Supervisor: “Wrong. I’m going to go file the termination paperwork in a little bit. Right now I’m seeing that you’re off the property immediately!

And just like that, she was marched off the grounds. I’m glad that we didn’t have to deal with that particular bit of crazy for long. I can’t imagine how bad things would have been if she had exploded at someone like that on the factory floor.

1 Thumbs

Right Next To “I Don’t Need To Give You My Email Address” Boulevard

, , , , , | Right | June 30, 2021

Me: “All right, ma’am, to reset your password, we’re going to need to go through your security questions.”

Client: “All right, go ahead.”

Me: “First question: what is the name of the street your first home was on?”

Client: “How dare you demand I have to answer security questions?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you, this is all standard pro— Oh.”

Client: “It’s the answer to the question.”

Me: “Yes.”

Client: “Yeah, your bank lets people create these questions when they’re still teenagers and I thought it was funny at the time. Sorry about that.”

Me: “That’s all right. Do you want to change any of these questions once we’re done?”

Client: “Honestly, I think that they’re more secure this way. I want to leave ’em.”

And although it triggers the PTSD of anyone in any call centre ever… fair enough.

1 Thumbs

An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 12

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: AngelWholf | June 9, 2021

I am a security guard. With the outbreak, we have gotten A LOT of new companies and contracts, and there have been several stores that hire my company for “Mask Enforcement” — basically, refusing service for anyone who tries to walk in without a facial covering.

I’m working one of these new contracts for a home improvement shop. My job at this location is extremely simple and narrow. If I see someone walk in without a mask, I stand between them and the gate, inquire as to their lack of mask, and give them the option of purchasing a mask for less than fifty cents at the nearby customer service desk if they do not have one of their own.

For the most part, people are kind and understanding; many of them apologize, saying they forgot, quickly dig out a mask from a pocket or a purse, and go on about their way. One day, however, I meet [Customer].

I stop an elderly gentleman and ask if he has a mask. He laughs, pulls it out of his pocket saying he always forgets, puts it on, and walks through the turnstile. As I am having the conversation with him, in walks [Customer], staring me down, no mask, and almost runs into the elderly gentleman as she tries to rush past me.

I step in her way with a kind smile.

Me: “Hello, ma’am, do you have a mask today?”

Customer: “No, and I don’t need one, either!”

Me: “I am sorry, but the store policy states that everyone is required to wear a mask, if you need one you can get one over there—” *pointing to the customer service desk* “—for just forty-two cents.”

Customer: “I told you, I don’t need a mask. I just need a washing machine. Where are they?”

Me: “I don’t know where the washing machines are; however, I can’t let you past this point without a mask. Please either get one on or see the customer service desk to purchase one.”

Customer: “What do you mean, you don’t know where the washing machines are?! What kind of incompetent worker are you?”

Me: “I am not an employee of this store; I work for a third-party security company. I do not know the store, but you cannot go through these gates without a mask.”

During this time, the customer tries to walk around me multiple times. I keep stepping in front of her, keeping my hands low, and calmly repeating, “You need a mask.”

Customer: “You obviously work here! And I don’t like your attitude. Either tell me where I can get a washing machine or get the h*** out of my way!”

Me: “She—” *pointing to a customer service employee* “—will be more than able to help you find what you need, as well as sell you a mask so you can shop here.”

At this point, the employee realizes that something isn’t right; for the most part, as a guard, I smile and wave, pace, and don’t really interact with customers. So, when I am no longer smiling, standing still, and speaking with a customer, this usually means that something is going wrong.

Employee: “Hello! What can I do to help today?”

Me: “She is looking—”

Customer: “I want a washing machine and he refuses to tell me where they are. He just keeps getting in my way and telling me to wear a d*** mask!”

Employee: “I am sorry, but he does not work within the store. His job is just to enforce the mask rules. I would be more than happy to help. Do you have a mask today?”

Customer: “No, I don’t have a mask, and I’m not wearing one!”

She starts on some long-winded rant about HIPAA and civil rights.

Employee: “Well, ma’am, he won’t let you in without a mask, and unless you have one, I will be unable to assist you in getting the washing machine you want.”

Customer: “I’ve had enough! Get me your manager now!”

The employee then gets on her walkie and radios for a manager to come up.

Manager: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Customer: “I’m doing horrible! Your employees are useless! They refuse to help me and won’t even let me in the store! I demand you fire them both!”

Manager: “I am sorry, but he—” *pointing to me* “—is not an employee here. We hired his company to enforce mask policies—”

Customer: “I’ve already told you people I won’t wear a f****** mask! Now fire these people and help me get my washing machine!”

She is escalating more and more and is getting very close to the manager, which triggers my training. Normally, I am not allowed to go hands-on; however, there is an exception when there is a significant threat of violence to me or employees of the company I am working at, and it’s starting to appear as if some violence may happen.

Me: “Ma’am, I am going to need you to calm down and please back away from the manager. We don’t want any physical contact.”

Customer: “I’m not talking to you. You’re about to be fired, anyway; you might as well go home already!”

Manager: “He’s not going to be fired; he’s doing his job. I would be more than happy to take you to our washing machines, but you need to get a mask first.”

There’s another five-minute argument, during which I am forced to stand between the manager and the customer as she is getting more and more aggressive. The manager takes this chance to motion for the customer service employee to call the police.

Manager: “At this point, I am going to have to ask you to leave. I won’t have you yelling at our security or refusing to follow our policies.”

Customer: *To my manager* “I’m not leaving until you fire this a**hole and I get my washing machine!” *To me* “And get out of my way! Don’t you know it’s rude to get between two people talking?!”

Manager: “He is doing his job making sure no violence happens. We have called the cops. Leave now!”

About five minutes later, the cops arrived. [Customer] was screaming that we had physically assaulted her and hit her when all she wanted to do was get a washing machine, and even after the police reviewed the camera footage, she held to her story. As they attempted to trespass her from the store, she swung at me and luckily missed. That, however, was enough for her to leave the store in handcuffs.

I’m not sure why she thought I was an employee. My uniform is grey and black with a bright red logo, and the store’s uniform is a lot of blues and greens. But all’s well that ends with an entitled customer in the back of a police car.

An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 11
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 10
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 9
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 8
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 7

1 Thumbs

Yup, They’re New To The Credit Card Business

, , , | Right | CREDIT: ChemistryReasonable1 | June 7, 2021

I work for a bank. I am dealing with a new customer who opened a credit card only two weeks ago. She immediately tried to make a purchase for a few thousand dollars and got declined because it was high-risk and she had no spending history. That’s not unusual, and it’s an easy fix, usually. Someone called in regarding her account and was super fishy — marked as a suspicious caller — and couldn’t pass basic security — not hard if you are who you say you are.

We put the account under review for a few hours. The customer didn’t answer any notifications.

Today, she calls me to ask why she’s getting declined. She breezes through security. I explain that, as a new card member in a health crisis — lots of fraud — during the holiday season — even more fraud — that it is normal to experience declines until she develops a spending pattern — about one month — and give her the direct number to my department to speed up the process.

She then inquires if her husband can call in on the account. I explain that he’s not on the account, so no. Cue muffled whispering, “Well, we should get our rewards points that we didn’t get because we got declined.”

No, you don’t get points for not being able to pass your own security. Turns out it was her husband that called in, not her, which is why they failed security. Don’t lie; we can smell bulls*** a mile away.

1 Thumbs

The Situation Is Very Fluid

, , , | Right | May 17, 2021

This was a few years back but well after 9/11 and the extra measures put in place after the events. I was waiting in line for the security check and in front of me was a travel group, about thirty individuals, mostly elderly people. They were from a part of the country generally joked about as being slow. Now, it is wrong to treat people according to stereotypes, but sometimes… they just can’t help confirming it.

I belatedly realized I had a liquid lip gloss on me and started to doubt whether it would be considered a liquid or not. I decided to treat it as a liquid and put it separate from the rest of my luggage in a clear plastic bag as per regulations.

An older lady from the group asked me what I was doing and I explained my predicament.

Lady: “Oh, I have a bottle of water with me!”

Me: “You should put it in a separate bag, too. And they might confiscate it for being too much liquid.”

That was all duly indicated with large signs. She got a stubborn expression on her face.

Lady: “They’d better not confiscate my water! I need it in case I get thirsty! I also have my good potato knife with me, in case I have to skin an apple on the plane.”

I held my peace this time and let security do their job.

My remark about the liquid travelled through the group, but they all decided defiantly to hold onto their liquids. I kid you not, each and every member of the group had at least one item confiscated, being it liquids or sharp objects, and most of them wouldn’t give in without a fight. Apart from that, the majority had to be patted down because the metal detector gave an alarm.

I’m still unsure if my lip gloss was considered a liquid but I was the first to walk through without any confiscation and alarm.

A member of the security, frantically trying to keep an overview and prevent anyone giving him the slip, tried to stop me and guide me to the members of the group waiting to be patted down as his colleague told him I could go. I just smiled as he looked a bit dazed and surprised as well as a bit relieved.

1 Thumbs