Played Them Like A Boss

, , , , , , | Working | June 11, 2018

(My church does live-streams of the services, so they have cameras and sound booths. I want to intern in there, but I know they won’t let me without experience. There are two supervisors with equal power, but they generally never keep things straight with each other. I tell [Boss #1] that [Boss #2] said I could be an intern and tell [Boss #2] that [Boss #1] said that I could. Two months later, I put on my headset before the service starts and I can pick up on a conversation in the other room because the bosses left the microphone on. I hear this gem of a conversation:)

Boss #1: “Wow, [My Name] is picking up on this fast!”

Boss #2: “Yeah, I’m glad you hired her!”

Boss #1: “I thought you did?”

(I never got in trouble, but the awkward silence afterwards was amazing.)

Does Not Wish To Resumé The Website Services

, , , | Working | June 6, 2018

(I am not really desperately looking for a job, but I am putting my CV on several recruiting websites, just to see if a good opportunity will turn up. I have just submitted my CV on one website in the morning and get a call in the afternoon.)

Caller: “Hey, [My Name]!”

Me: “Yes.” *thinking it was a long lost friend or so*

Caller: “Have a job yet?”

Me: “Uh… No.” *trying to guess who “the friend” might be*

Caller: “In that case, come in for an interview tomorrow morning at [Location].”

(Another call few days later:)

Caller: “Hi, I’m a HR Representative at [Company that is in the next town, about four hours away]. Can you come in for an interview tomorrow?”

(I quickly took my CV off of that website after that.)

Very Entitled, But Not To A Job

, , , , , , | Working | May 31, 2018

I get an application for an internship, which I’m a little surprised by since we filled that months ago, and we took it down from the employment page. After looking, however, I realize that while the link to the intern listing was removed from the page, the intern listing itself, which was its own page, was never taken down. I respond, explaining and apologizing for any inconvenience, saying we’re not hiring but I’ll keep his resume on hand.

My email includes a signature with my business number. Almost immediately, I get a phone call. It’s the kid I replied to — and I do mean “kid,” since he’s only 17. He very smugly informs me that it doesn’t matter because we have the listing still searchable online, ergo we owe him a job or he’s going to sue us for false advertising. He finishes it up with, “So put me on with your hiring department.” Pause for emphasis. “Or else.” All of this is delivered in the absolute smuggest, most confident tone I’ve ever heard.

I kind of sit for a moment in stunned silence at how brazen this kid is, before I go, “Well, gee, I guess you got us there,” then burst out into genuine laughter and hang up. He immediately sends a very prissy and outraged email to my boss demanding I get fired, who also thinks the whole thing is hilarious. The kid continues to email us threats of legal action on and off for the next month, which we all take turns reading aloud in various dramatic tones. That was a few years ago, and I still wonder if he ever remembers doing that and cringes now, or if he’s still that same entitled jerk. Hopefully for everyone around him, it’s the former.

Impeding Their Rush With Her Rush

, , , , | | Working | May 30, 2018

(I’m currently working at a convenience store and restaurant hybrid. A young woman comes up to the front counter.)

Woman: “Hi. I have an interview at 3:30. I was wondering if they could do it now?”

(It’s currently 12:30, and we’re very obviously in the middle of the lunch rush.)

Me: “I don’t think they’ll be able to, since it’s the lunch rush.”

Woman: “Well, can you check?”

(I go back, leaving a line of people, and ask my manager. She then goes up to the front.)

Manager: “Hello, miss. I’m sorry, but it’s the middle of the lunch rush. If you can come back at 3:30, I can do the interview then.”

Woman: “Can’t you do it sooner than that?”

Manager: “I can do 2:00 pm.”

Woman: “Well, that’s very inconvenient. I’ll be in the dining room when you make time for me.”

(My manager and I shared a look and went back to handling the lunch rush. The woman didn’t get interviewed until after 2:30.)

This Kind Of Work Is Not In Her Jeans

, , , , | | Working | May 21, 2018

(I am working the night audit shift at a hotel when a young woman comes in. She is dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. It is about two in the morning.)

Girl: “Hey! Are you guys taking applications right now?”

Me: “I don’t know, honestly, but I can give you the web address where we take applications.”

Girl: “There isn’t a manager I can speak to?”

(Again, it is two in the morning.)

Me: “Um… I’m the de facto manager on duty right now, but I have no control over our hiring practices. You’ll have to go online, or wait until morning when someone is in.”

Girl: “Aw, shoot. I just wanted to get some kind of job; you know, something easy, like your job!”

Me: *glancing at the mountain of accounting paperwork I’m currently trying to get through while attempting not to look insulted* “Yes, well, like I said, I don’t know if we’re hiring, but I know we don’t need any more night auditors right now.”

Girl: “Sure, sure. Oh! And do you have to wear anything in particular for this job?”

Me: *looks down at the pinstripe suit and matching blouse that no young woman would possibly wear unless they had to* “Yes… This.”

Girl: “What? You mean I can’t just wear like, a t-shirt and jeans?”

Me: “No.”

Girl: “Huh! Well, never mind, then!”

(She left. Not only have I never seen ANY hotel of ANY stripe that allowed its employees to wear t-shirts and jeans to work, but we are a higher-end, full-service brand!)

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