Constructing A Pretty Good Point

, , , , , | Working | June 17, 2020

My in-laws own a building restoration company, mainly dealing with old brick structures. They will not do new construction. 

City council meets with local business owners to try to combat low employment rates, especially among people with any sort of criminal record. 

Mayor: “You own a construction company; why not take on a few more employees with less desirable records?”

Father-In-Law: “Well, you see, it’s building restoration. I can only take on workers with experience in old construction or a background in engineering.”

Mayor: “Nothing wrong with training new, hard-working citizens, though.”

Father-In-Law: “Sounds good, but it won’t work. Everyone has to come back clean on the background check; we often work unsupervised in businesses, even the occasional bank after hours. I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

Mayor: “Fine. Just know you are being unreasonable.”

A few months later, the mayor hires my father-in-law to repair the sinking front steps of his home. He sends out a guy who’s 6’4” and 250 pounds and has tattoos from his neck to his fingertips and rippling muscles. He’s the sort of guy that you wouldn’t want to cross. He is a life and fitness coach, and an extremely nice guy. He doesn’t know the first thing about repairs.

He knocks on the front door with a toolbox, and the mayor just about calls the police. Instead, he calls my father-in-law to ask about him.

Father-In-Law: “Oh, yeah, he works for me; he applied a few weeks back. I thought about what you said and figured I’d give him a shot. He got out early on good behavior; I think it was felony assault and possession of narcotics.”

Mayor: “And you sent him out to my house?”

Father-In-Law: “Well, yeah. You pushed for more felons to be hired! Thought you’d love to see the results. Is he working okay? Or are you afraid he’s going to rob the place?” *Laughs* “He’s a good guy, never went to prison. Just showing you that image is part of business.”

He sent someone to actually reset the steps after the call.

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Please Notice What I’m Saying

, , , , | Working | June 16, 2020

I have just gotten a call for a new job, which I have been looking for. However, training starts in less than a week, and having just received this call, I only have about five days until I start my new job. I write up my notice of resignation to my current employer and bring it in the following morning. I do feel bad about not being able to give a proper two weeks of notice, but training starts soon and the next training group is in a future of “nobody knows.”

Me: *Handing in the letter* “Hi. I’m here to hand in my letter of resignation. I do apologize but it’s not a full two weeks of notice. I was given very short notice myself.”

Manager: “Wait, what do you mean?”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, I was given the call just last night and my first day will be Tuesday, so Monday will be my last day here.”

Manager: “You need to give at least two weeks of notice though.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but like I said, I don’t have a full two weeks of notice to give. I’m just trying to give as much notice as I can.”

Manager: “Yeah, but how am I supposed to handle the situation with nobody else to close?”

I am one of three people in my workplace that know how to close, one of them being my manager; however, she works at another place during night so she never actually closes.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have the ability to give a proper two weeks of notice.”

Manager: “Well, how about working Tuesday?”

Me: “I can’t. Monday is my last day here. I can’t let this job opportunity slip past me.”

Manager: “That’s why you’re supposed to give two weeks of notice!”

Me: “I already explained that I literally cannot do that. I just received the call and handed you the first chance I got. I got caught off guard, but I can’t start any other day due to the fact that that’s when training starts.”

Manager: “You agreed to give two weeks of notice when you eventually leave, though.”

Me: “I planned to, but I already have explained why I literally cannot. I’m willing to help through my last days here, but Monday will be my last day, as my new job starts Tuesday. I’m sorry.”

Manager: *Pause* “Fine.” *Huffs off*

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Lay Off, Guys; I’ve Got This

, , , , , | Working | June 13, 2020

I got laid off from my job a few years ago but got a generous severance package that allowed me to be picky about job offers. Unfortunately, some of my job prospects were with contract agencies, which can be really flaky about keeping in touch. After a job interview:

Recruiter: “Okay, you are a really strong candidate for this job and I think the client will love you. We’ll be in touch within a week.”

Me: “Great, can’t wait to hear from you.”

A week goes by without contact. Even though the job sounded like a sweet gig, I don’t sweat it as I’m fielding several job interviews a day while my old company is essentially paying me to sit on the couch.

Recruiter: “Hey, looks like they decided to go with someone else. But I’ve got another client interested in interviewing you. Are you available this afternoon?”

I’m currently on my way to the other side of the state for another job interview.

Me: “Today’s not a good day. But I can interview tomorrow. Call me when you have a time arranged.” 

Surprise. No call. I eventually find a new job and am getting settled in my new office when the same contract agency calls.

Recruiter: “Hey, the person we sent them fell through and the client wants someone else. When can you start with them?”

Me: “Uh, I just started a new job.”

Recruiter: “Oh, congratulations! Who with?”

Me: “[Company].”

Recruiter: “And how long is the job assignment?”

Me: “As long as I want.” 

Recruiter: “But what agency placed you there?”

Me: “No one did. It’s a permanent hire.”

Recruiter: *Disappointed* “Oh. Wouldn’t you rather work for [Client Company]? It’s a good contract.” 

Me: “To be honest, you kind of flaked on me twice already. I did warn you that I was entertaining several offers during our first interview and wasn’t going to wait on [Client Company] if I got a better offer.” 

Recruiter: “So, you aren’t interested?”

Me: “Nope.”

A few months later.

Recruiter: “Hey, are you in the market for another job again? [Client Company] really wants to interview you and they’re kind of desperate to fill that position.”

I blocked their number after that.

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Schooling The Secretary On Her Paperwork Skills

, , , , , | Working | May 14, 2020

I move to Texas in 2009. Everyone says I will get a teaching position easily, since I teach math. However, jobs are not forthcoming.

I finally get an interview with a school after applying on their district’s website. The interview is on a Thursday, so I am not expecting any news until the following week. Also, schools rarely call back candidates who they do not hire.

On Tuesday morning the next week, I get a call at home. My phone identifies it as the school, so I’m excited to answer.

Me: “Hello?”

Secretary: “Hello, Mr. [My Name]. This is [High School] in [District]. We’d like to schedule you for an interview. Would you be available tomorrow morning?”

I’m thinking it is a second interview to meet more staff.

Me: “Oh, that’d be great. Is there anything extra you’d like me to bring to this second interview?”

Secretary: *Pause* “Second interview?”

Me: “I interviewed with your principal last Thursday.”

Secretary: “Oh… Never mind.” *Click*

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An Eleventh-Hour Interview

, , , , , | Working | May 11, 2020

I apply for a job at a restaurant that is famous for having girls in skimpy outfits as waitresses, but is supposedly “family-friendly.” I don’t hear back for a week, so I figure I’ll just forget about it.

Late at night, I’m browsing the Internet and I get a message saying that I’ve got a new email.

“We would like to meet you in one hour to interview. Please reply if yes.”

It’s 1:00 am. Of course, I don’t reply! Luckily, they don’t email me again. Guess they aren’t so friendly!

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