Some People Shouldn’t Be Out Among Other People

, , , , , | Right | September 9, 2019

(At the restaurant where I work, there is a server who used to work at a different restaurant chain. He had regulars there who were really strange, and he tells me about them when he first starts working at my restaurant. I guess I don’t fully believe him until a group of three people — I assume a husband, wife, and maybe adult son — comes in. They request the aforementioned server. They’re very quiet people, and the woman has a dopey smile on her face. Her clothes have stuff all over them, which I can only assume is a mixture of food and bodily fluids. Her husband only responds to any questions I ask in grunts and groans, though he will use words when speaking to his wife and son. The son is obviously mentally handicapped, so I have nothing bad to say about him, because I don’t discriminate against the mentally disabled. However, his parents are honestly just weird.)

Me: “Hey, [Server], I sat you at table 72. These people are kind of weird, though.”

Server: *his face completely falls* “Oh, God, no.”

(It turns out they were his regulars at his old job. I worked there for about two years, and until the server left to work in a state penitentiary, this group came in every Wednesday wanting to sit with him. Some things I caught them doing were chewing up their food and spitting it into napkins as if that was all they wanted, farting loudly with no excuses or apologies, asking other hosts if they would be willing to change their son’s diaper, bringing cans of soda into the restaurant — we have soda! — but not drinking them and instead pouring them into our live plants outside, and worst of all, the woman would walk to the bathroom and on her way there she would take food off of dirty tables. Yes, this was food that another customer had bought and was sometimes half-eaten. She just walked by, grabbed half a steak with her bare hands, and ate it on the way to the bathroom. Apparently, when they came in to the server’s old job, they were told he’d moved to this new restaurant, so they followed him. And since my restaurant is much more expensive than the previous one, they yelled at the server until he gave them his employee discount. Not even the right one! Employee’s family and friends discount is 50% off two meals, 33% off three, 25% off four or more. They should have gotten 33% off, but they yelled until all three of them were crying so he would give them the full 50%, which almost got him fired. Luckily, he worked there for a year before he left. They’d come in and ask for him and I had the satisfaction to tell them he no longer worked there. They’d just get quiet and shuffle out but still try again the next week, as if he might suddenly work there again.)

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No Days Off, The Store Has You Now  

, , , | Right | September 5, 2019

(I’m a manager and I have a worker who is an amazing employee and one of my best cashiers. She’s polite, a hard worker, doesn’t mind covering shifts, goes above and beyond, etc. But actually having interacted with her outside of work, I know she can be a bit of a cold introvert when she’s not on the clock. She likes her privacy and likes to be left alone. I have no problem with this as she is allowed to be how she wants when she is off the clock and not in uniform. One day, she comes in on her day off to do some shopping. I offer a hello and she offers a passive one back to me. Then, another customer approaches her and I hear this exchange.)

Customer: “Hey, you work here, right?”

Cashier: “Not right now, I don’t. Bye.” *keeps walking by with her cart*

Customer: “Can you tell me where [item] is?”

Me: *having noticed that this man is not leaving her alone* “Sir? She is not working today. I can help you find the item you need if you’ll just come with me.”

Customer: *ignores me and keeps bugging her, immediately becoming aggressive at her dismissive behavior* “Hey! Hey, b****, I’m talking to you!”

Cashier: “I know. I’m choosing to not listen.”

(She continues her shopping, doing her best to not look at him, but I can see he’s clearly bothering her.)

Me: “Sir, I said she is not working. Please let me help you, instead.”

Customer: “I don’t want your help! I asked this stupid brat. Young, dumb b****es don’t know how to respect their elders.”

Me: “If you do not stop yelling and harassing other customers, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Customer: “She’s an employee! She works here! She has to help!”

Me: “Not on her day off. Please leave her alone.”

(He grabs the hood of her jacket at this point and I immediately call security, as I do not want him to actually attack her.)

Me: “Sir, I’m going to say this one last time: leave her alone.”

(This all wraps up with him continuously refusing while my cashier just stares at him, trying to tug her hood back and continue with her shopping. Soon enough, security gets there and the man gets escorted away, starting to scream profanity at us.)

Me: *sighs, looking at her* “Sorry, [Employee]. I know you like to be left alone. Here, let me get you a free ice cream from the café.”

Cashier: “No. I just want to buy my groceries. Thanks, though.”

(She eventually accepted the ice cream on her break during her next shift and, as far as I know, the store manager banned that man from the store for putting his hands on someone. Pretty good ending.)

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Attack Of The Flying Cat

, , , , , | Learning | September 3, 2019

I was in seventh grade. My middle school had kindergarten through eighth grade, and I, being a bit of a know-it-all, had never done anything to mar my perfect record. It’s important to note that my school was… special. We were one of the best schools in the state. To put it plainly, we were all a bunch of nerds. 

Every year towards summer, we would have academic performances. We would spend months preparing to present what we learned that year to our parents.

Fast forward to the end of the day. The parents of our classmates had all just left. They had just left us in the science classroom with absolutely no supervision until the sixth graders were finished presenting in our classroom. 

Being rowdy seventh graders, we were quickly bored. We’d spent our entire day on our best behavior and we were worn out. We had just come from the English classroom and had finished presenting our stage plays. My group had needed a stuffed cat as a prop. By the time we made it to science, I was still carrying the toy around. My friend and I started to slowly toss the cat back and forth. I know; this was a terrible idea in a science lab. 

At one point another, one of my friends stood between us and was trying to catch it, forcing us to throw longer and longer, until suddenly, the first friend missed the cat. It flew right over her head and smashed straight into a sixth grader’s popsicle bridge project, knocking it off the table. 

It just so happened that the moment it flew off the desk was also the moment the teacher walked into the classroom. It turns out, that bridge was from the only sixth-grade class that hadn’t tested the strength of their bridges yet. We had knocked over the only untested bridge on the table. Great. 

Our head of discipline actually laughed when he found out what we had done. The only thing on my permanent record was vandalism. I had knocked over a popsicle bridge with a flying cat.

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The Kids Of America (Whoa)

, , , , , | Friendly | August 30, 2019

I am English. I was sixteen years old when my family decided to go for a vacation to Florida to visit the theme parks.

Everything was normal. It was a good holiday and the people were friendly and lovely.

One day, we were at one of the famous theme parks, waiting for a water ride. I was wearing large sunglasses and waiting with my mother and my younger brother.

People started to disembark the ride and a girl, around my age, stopped and started to stare at me. My mum made a joke that she fancied me, I ignored it, and we all forgot about it until later.

My family and I were eating lunch at one of the restaurants when a group of 16-year-old girls marched over to my table. They started to berate me for “lying to them about being sick” and saying things like, “If you didn’t want to come out for my birthday surprise, you could have just said!”

The main girl — who stared at me earlier — began to cry quite loudly and my family and I were thoroughly confused.

After one of the girls dumped a drink on my head — this confrontation went from 0 to 60 very fast with little opportunity to speak — I finally removed my sunglasses.

Suddenly, everything stopped. The girls went bright red and rushed away without so much of an apology.

I guess it was a case of mistaken identity.

Don’t worry, America; I don’t hold it against you. I fully admit that teenagers can be crazy regardless of their country of origin.

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When You’ve Been Doing Black Friday For Eighty Years

, , , , , | Right | August 29, 2019

It was my first week of working in a thrift store and it was our half-off sale day. People lined up outside of the store for hours prior to us opening, Black Friday style. Once the doors were opened people ran in, pushing and shoving to get carts and go to the furniture section. 

I looked over to our toy area and saw an 80-something-year-old woman ram a pregnant lady holding her toddler so that she could get a better look at the puzzles. 

I worked there for six more years.

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