Take Note Of That Joke

| UK | Right | December 21, 2016

(I supply sandwiches to office workers by taking a selection round to their offices. One of my regulars picks out a tortilla wrap.)

Customer: “Can I pay with plastic?”

Me: “What, for £3.40? Sorry, but I can’t accept cards …”

Customer: *pulls out a new Winston Churchill £5 note*

Me: *cracks up*

(The UK has recently introduced a new £ note made of plastic.)

Sub-Standard Management

| Canada | Working | December 16, 2016

(I am hired to work at a just-opening second location of a popular sandwich shop. In my second week of training, I am becoming familiar with everything but am still not supposed to be scheduled without a trainer. Somehow, due to a scheduling oversight, I arrive for a shift one day to discover that I will be alone with only the owner’s father-in-law (who is not a trainer and doesn’t technically even work there) for part of my shift. It is only for 30 minutes, but as it happens, that is 30 minutes too long…)

Trainer #1: “Well, I’m off. [Trainer #2] should be here in half an hour. Good luck!”

(Soon after, Customer #1 enters, shortly followed by Customer #2. Owner’s FIL offers to serve Customer #1, and tells me to help Customer #2. The way the shop is set up, I have to wait for Customer #1 to pay and leave before I can cash out Customer #2 – there is no way to get around Owner’s FIL to the cash.)

Customer #1: “I’ll have a [sandwich] with [toppings] and no [sauce], please. I’ll also need a [sandwich] with [toppings] and [sauce]. And please hurry because I’m on my way to pick my kids up from school.”

(Owner’s FIL begins making the order. I start talking to Customer #2.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Sandwich Shop]! What can I get you?”

Customer #2: “Yes, I’d like a [sandwich] with [toppings] and [sauce]. And I need it fast because I’m on my way to work.”

Me: “Sure!” *starts making order*

(I get almost done with my customer’s order and am waiting for the till, when I hear and see:)

Customer #1: “Excuse me! I said no [sauce] on the first [sandwich]! I can’t eat that now!”

Owner’s FIL: “Sorry. I can fix that, hang on…”

Customer #1: “Look, I really can’t wait. Can you just take that off and I’ll just take the second sandwich?”

Owner’s FIL: “I said I can fix it!”

(He begins scraping the top layer of toppings of the sandwich. I am then amazed to watch him try to remove every topping that the sauce has touched and rebuild the sandwich. Both customers are getting increasingly frustrated and angry at this point as they are both in a hurry. When he is finished, he wraps both of Customer# 1’s sandwiches, insists she pays for both, and returns to the back room. Customer #1 storms out.)

Me: *still stunned* “I am so sorry, [Customer #2]. Let me get you out of here…”

(I cash out Customer #2 and she leaves. Soon after, Trainer #2 comes in.)

Trainer #2: “Hi, [My Name]! Where is [Trainer #1]?”

Me: “They left 30 minutes ago. It’s just been me and [Owner’s FIL].”

Trainer #2: “What? That isn’t supposed to happen! You’re still training!”

(We move on with our night. It goes smoothly, and I think everything is fine. But when I arrive for my next shift I find my assistant manager waiting for me in the parking lot…)

Assistant Manager: “Hey, [My Name]. We had some complaints about you from your last shift. Something about an order being screwed up and taking a really long time to serve customers? Look, I know you’re still in training but that isn’t how we do things here. [Owner] says we have to let you go. We won’t need you for your shift today.”

Me: *stunned* “What? But it wasn’t even me who screwed up!” *explains situation* “So you see, it wasn’t me!”

Assistant Manager: “Well, that’s not right. Look, I’m sorry, but there isn’t anything I can do. It’s not my call.”

(At this point I started to cry. I had been trying to find a job for months only to now lose my job within the first two weeks. Also, I had no cell phone with me and no way to get in touch with anyone. So, humiliated and in tears, I had to enter the sandwich shop, pass by all of my former coworkers, and beg to use the store phone to call for a ride. The kicker? When the owner (who was in the back room) saw me come in to use the phone, he told me not to cry. And since they refused to mail out pay cheques, I also had to come back in several days later to get my last pay.)

Here We Pokémon Go Again, Part 7

| Canada | Working | September 20, 2016

(I’m grabbing food during a break from work. My phone case is also my wallet, and I have Pokémon Go open on my phone when I open it to get my debit card. I haven’t eaten yet that day and I’m feeling pretty spaced out.)

Employee: “Really?”

Me: *no idea what he’s talking about* “I’m sorry?”

Employee: *snotty tone*You’re playing Pokémon Go?”

Me: “Yes…?”

(I’d like to note that this store is usually amazing. I’m there so often, one of the women who works there calls me ‘dear.’)


Got The Meat-Balls To Stand Up To Him

, | USA | Right | August 16, 2016

(I work at the front desk in a government office. While at my station at the front desk, a coworker is speaking with a young man, very near me in the lobby. I can easily overhear the conversation in which the young man is describing how he likes to go through the lines at sandwich restaurants and “just for fun” say the sandwich was bad, and make them re-do his sandwich. It was a fun game for him, and sometimes he even received the “bad” sandwich too, or would even get a free sandwich “for the trouble.” As I hear him say this, I think “What an a**hole!”, but say nothing. About a week later, I go to lunch at the local sandwich shop. I find myself in line behind this young man. I don’t recognize him at first, but who he is gradually dawns on me as I watch him. He is looking right at the sandwich maker as she is putting his meatball sub together and sure enough, when he gets to the register, he says it is wrong and wants another because it has too much sauce. At that point I know what is happening and decide to call him on his game.)

Me: “Why didn’t you tell her it was wrong while she was making it?”

Customer: “I wasn’t looking.”

Me: “Yes, you were. I was watching you. You were staring at her the whole time. If you didn’t like the way she made your sandwich, you should have told her AT THE TIME.”

Customer: *getting flustered* “No, really, I wasn’t looking.”

Me: *getting adamant* “Yes, you were. I SAW YOU! You were staring at her, watching her make that sandwich the whole time. If you didn’t like the way she made your sandwich, you should have told her AT THE TIME. THAT’S WHY THEY MAKE THE SANDWICHES IN FRONT OF US!!”

Customer: *flustered* “But it’s…”

Sandwich Maker: *she doesn’t know what I know about him* “Ma’am, it’s really okay.”

Me: *to her* “NO, IT’S NOT! If he didn’t like the way the sandwich was being made” *me turning to him* “HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU AT THE TIME!” *back to sandwich maker* “He was looking at you the whole time!”

Sandwich Maker: *stares at me with eyes wide and slack-jawed, not knowing what to say*

(I keep laying it on him and he remains flustered while the sandwich maker’s coworkers make him another which he accepts and pays for, and then makes a quick dash out the door. The line workers and the manager are all gathered around the register and a couple staff persons are peeking out the doors to the back area and all are looking at me in awe.)

Manager: “Here. Why don’t you take this?” *holding out the “bad” meatball sub*

Me: “No, but thank you. I’m vegetarian.”

Manager: “Take it. You could give it to someone…”

Me: “But I can’t eat it. Why don’t you have it?”

Manager: “No, really, we can’t eat it. If we keep it here, it will have to be thrown away.”

Me: *while the injustice of a cow losing his life only to be thrown away flashes through my mind, I reply* “Okay, I’ll take it back to work and see if anyone wants it.”

(So I left with two sandwiches, and as it turned out, my supervisor was a devout carnivore, and even though he’d had lunch already, was very fond the meatball subs from that shop and decided to take one for the team and have two lunches! He also remembered the young man, and agreed that he was an a**-hole. I can only hope that in the future, that young man will think twice about what might be a “fun game.”)

Can’t Lettuce Know What You Mean

| Wales, UK | Right | August 6, 2016

(I am a customer standing in line behind two 16/17-year-old girls.)

Server: “And what salad would you like on that?” *gestures to the huge assortment of vegetables in front of her*

Girl #1: “Salad.”

Server: “Er… yes, but what salad?”

Girl #1: *rolls her eyes* “SAAAALLLLAAAAADDDDD!!!!”

Server: *seemed a bit confused and intimidated by the attitude*

Girl #2 “She just wants f****** salad, you idiot. Just give her her f****** SALAD!”

Girl #1: *points* “SALAD!”

Server: “Oh, you mean lettuce?”

Girl #1: “Yeah, whatever. Just salad, f******* h***!”

Me: “Well to be fair, the entire bar is filled with about 20 different items of salad ingredients. If you don’t know the word for lettuce, that’s your fault, not hers. Just pay for your food, and consider this a learning experience, yeah?”

(Girl #1 & Girl #2 walked out, grumbling and swearing. The server and I shared a “WTF” moment as they left, and I finally got my food!)

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