I’m the fitting room attendant. A customer has been using our fitting rooms for over an hour, trying on a lot of clothes. She walks up to me with another pile of clothes that she’s tried on, putting one into the ‘buy’ pile and the rest to be discarded.

Customer: “By the way, I’m getting hungry. Do you do lunch orders?”

Me: “Uh, we’re a clothing store, ma’am. There’s lot of food options in the mall.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I want to keep trying on clothes. I’m gonna buy a lot with you guys, so I’m thinking lunch. A turkey sub would be good.”

Me: “Ma’am, just to make sure I’m understanding you, are you asking us to order you some lunch?”

Customer: “Yes! So that I can keep trying on clothes uninterrupted! I’m going to spend big with you guys, so it’s in your interests to keep me in the store trying on clothes!”

Me: “That’s not a service we offer, ma’am. If you’re hungry, you can leave your clothes with me to hold while you get some lunch in the mall, and then you can come back and—”

Customer: “—When I’m gambling in Vegas, the casinos bring drinks and snacks to me at the slot machines to keep me there.”

Me: “This is not something we do in Cleveland, ma’am.”

Customer: “If I leave this store to go have my lunch, there’s a risk of me not coming back. Do you want that on your hands? I’m a big spender!”

We’re a famous and popular international chain, with most of our clothing items costing between $20 and $50. Her big spender total (seven items) came to about $200 so far.

Me: “I can live with that risk, ma’am.”

Customer: *Drops the clothes on the floor.* “This is terrible service!”

She walks out and, as far as I can tell, never comes back. I’m pretty sure she was only interested in trying to get a free lunch and figured we’d just… go with it?

I overhear two women, both looking in their mid-sixties or older, talking in the food court.

Woman #1: “I’m taking the grandkids to the dinosaur exhibit on the weekend.”

Woman #2: “I think dinosaurs really existed.”

Woman #1: “You do?”

Woman #2: “But they couldn’t talk to God.”

Woman #1: “Sure, they could!”

Woman #2: “How?”

[Woman #1] looks to the ceiling and… ROOOOOARRRS loudly! Everyone stops to stare. I thought I’d fall off my chair laughing at that insane discussion.

When my son was being potty trained, when he said he had to go, he had to GO! We were shopping in a strip mall when he made his announcement.

We went into the nearest store and were told that they didn’t have a public restroom, even if it was for a two-year-old being trained, and we would have to go to the other end of the strip to find a store that did. I was irritated but realized it wasn’t her rule, so off we rushed, and we made it… barely. 

Later, I told my brother the story (he was also potty training a son, so he could relate) and he said:

Brother: “Well, did you ask her if they had a public mop?”

Wish I could think that fast!

The district manager approaches me about an hour into my shift at the mall department store.

District Manager: “[Store Manager] said you were insubordinate yesterday. We need to discuss it.”

Me: “Insubordinate? I don’t think that’s a word that’s been used to describe me ever.”

District Manager: “But is it accurate? He said you left yesterday without clocking out, after making several attempts to leave early.”

Me: “Well, that’s technically correct, but—”

District Manager: “—Why did you leave without clocking out?”

Me: “The cops were still investigating when closing time came around, so I just left.”

District Manager: “What cops?”

Me: “The one’s checking for the bomb.”

District Manager: “…bomb?”

Me: “Seriously? Just how selective was [Manager] being when he told you I was being insubordinate?”

District Manager: “I think you’d better start from the beginning.”

Me: “Yesterday, the mall received a bomb threat and we all had to be evacuated about an hour before closing. I tried to leave, but [Store Manager] actually wouldn’t let us leave until the police came in and physically made us leave. I said we should all go home since it’s so close to closing time, but [Store Manager] told us not to go further than the parking lot because customers would want to come back and shop when the mall reopened.”

District Manager: “…”

Me: “Oh, wow, he didn’t say any of that? Well, anyway, the cops were still investigating after the mall and store closed, so I left. In fact, we all did. I think I’m being singled out because I was the most vocal. I even said [Store Manager] was breaking the law by keeping us inside a building facing an active bomb threat.”

District Manager: “…”

Me: “Weird. As District Manager, I’m surprised you’re only finding out about this now. Maybe you should talk to [Store Manager] about that. Anyway, can I go now?”

District Manager: “…yes.”

Me: “Thanks!”

I confidently walked back to my counter and got back to work. The district manager just kind of floated away, processing what I’d just told him. I don’t know what he did after that, but I never saw the store manager again.

I work in a mall food court. We get a lot of special needs customers, so we let them take their time and order on their own. A couple of them are really nice regulars.

Two such teens are in line with my boss. They’re about to order when a man comes up behind them. When my boss starts taking the teens’ orders, the man asks loudly:

Man: “Why are you taking them first?”

Manager: “They were here first.”

Man: ” They can wait until regular people are done. This is bull-s***.”

Manager: “Yes, and I’m tired of yours, so leave, you aren’t eating here.”

I am on my lunch break, eating a few tables away, when this goes down. As a result, I get the pleasure of being able to watch him slowly come to the realization that he wasn’t going to get his own way and slowly walk away, trying to figure out what just happened, while I enjoyed my sandwich.