Shopping With Mom Is A “Saga”

, , , , , | Related | November 20, 2019

Mom: “Help me find something for your sister for Christmas. She’s so hard to shop for; whatever I get her is never quite right.”

Me: “A graphic novel? She likes Brian Vaughn. Or a DVD? There’s some cartoon series she’s into.”

Mom: “No comic books or cartoons; she’s not a child anymore.”

Me: “A bottle of good bourbon?”

Mom: “I’m not giving my daughter liquor for Christmas!”

Me: “Uh… fancy bath stuff from that weird shop she likes?”

Mom: “No, I want to get her something useful.”

Me: “A cookbook? She loves cookbooks.”

Mom: “She has too many cookbooks already.”

Me: “Maybe something else for her kitchen? Her mother-in-law gave her a pasta machine for her birthday and she loved it.”

Mom: “But she doesn’t need those things.”

Me: “A new vacuum cleaner?”

Mom: “What she really needs is nicer clothes to wear to work.”

Me: *internally face-palming* “So… you already knew what you wanted to get her.”

Mom: “But whenever I get her clothes she never really likes them.”

Me: *going from internal face-palming to internal screaming* “So you’re asking me to, what, magically make her like the clothes you pick out?”

Mom: “Just help me find her a present she’ll like!”

(We then went to a department store that I know my sister does not shop at; every time I suggested an item of clothing I thought my sister would conceivably wear, Mom insisted it was not right. She ended up choosing a sweater which wouldn’t fit, and which my sister will end up exchanging for new socks.)

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Unfiltered Story #177162

, , | Unfiltered | November 13, 2019

My father is our doing a promotion in a mall that involves him and a few friends wearing medieval amour. After the promotion they have to go to the fabric shop to pick up some fabric. As they are coming back down the escalator they hear this exchange from a coffee shop at the bottom of the escalator.
Customer: No! I am telling you! Yesterday the price said $3.15 and now you are charging me $3.85!
Assistant that just handed him his coffee: Sir, as I explained—
Customer: No! the price went up! You’re just trying to make me think I’m crazy and seeing things!
Here the customer turns around while taking a sip from his coffee. He sees my dad and friends approach the bottom of the escalator. The guy goes wide eyed, he misses his mouth with is coffee and pours it down his shirt.

Listen And Learn

, , , , , , , , | Right | November 9, 2019

(Where I work, we have to ask the customer a few questions while at the register. It’s annoying for everyone involved but doesn’t take long as everything is asked while ringing and is just part of the job. Right now, we have a promo going on where if a customer spends $20, they get a reward card for $20 off a $50 purchase later in the month. I am on register one day and I have this exchange when a man and woman come up.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

Male Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Female Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: “Was anyone assisting you today?”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t want any, thanks.”

Me: *confused*

Female Customer: *rolling her eyes at him* “Yes, [Coworker] helped us.”

Me: “Oh, good. Anyway, you get this $20 reward today for—”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t want it.”

Me: “I… No, I mean… You get this reward today just for shopping with us.”

Male Customer: “And what do I have to do for it?”

Me: “Spend at least $20, which you did. So, you get a reward.”

Male Customer: “Oh.”

Me: “Your total is [total]. Are you using your [store credit card] today?”

Male Customer: “No, I said we don’t want it!”

Me: *confused because this is the first time I brought it up*

Female Customer:Yes, I have one and will be using it.” 

(She rolls her eyes and shoves the man out of the way so she can swipe her card.)

Female Customer: *to the male customer* “How about you shut your mouth for once and actually listen to what people are saying?”

(This made my heart so happy because it’s exactly what I was thinking. I thanked her and told her to have a nice day, completely ignoring the sulking man as they left. He wasn’t the first person to do this that day, and certainly wasn’t the last, but that woman made my day!)

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The Very Best Costume

, , , , | Right | October 31, 2019

(I work in a bookstore in a mall. On Halloween, almost every store has an employee hand out candy to kids as they walk around. It is a fun concept, and this is my second year passing out the candy. I even have my own system. Little kids, or anyone in an awesome, homemade costume gets the good treats — the PB cups and chocolate bars and such. People trick-or-treating with infants or smarta** teenagers who didn’t even make an effort — yeah, yeah, you’re a serial killer and they look like normal people; I get it — get the gum and cheaper candy. The night has just started, and a mother approaches with her two kids: a boy around nine years old and a girl around six. The girl is something cute, a princess I believe. I recognize the boy’s costume because I am a nerd, but I also see that the boy looks pretty bummed out when they come toward me.)

Me: “Cool costumes! But why so sad?”

Boy: *sadly* “No one knows who I am. They think I’m a baseball player.”

Me: “Baseball player?! Little dude, you are wearing a red vest, you have six Pokéballs on your belt, and a stuffed Pikachu holding onto the back of your car. You are the one and only Ash Ketchum, who is the very best, like no one ever was!”

(The boy just broke out with the widest smile. The mother looked grateful, and I made sure that Pokémon trainer and his princess sister both got a handful of my best candy.)

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Dealing With Fresh Customers

, , , , , , | Working | October 28, 2019

(My mom, my grandma, and I are shopping in a large mall when we decide we want some cinnamon rolls from a large chain that’s known for them. They appear to have several fresh, delicious-looking rolls out on display.)

Grandma: “Hello! Could we have three cinnamon rolls, please?”

(The cashier proceeds to turn around and begin packing some other rolls that look like they’ve been sitting out for some time.)

Grandma: “Excuse me. Could we actually have some of the fresh rolls?”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but those are for the customers.”

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