Unfiltered Story #194977

, , | Unfiltered | May 28, 2020

Fridays at my store we hang tags for the new sales week. I’m minding my own business hanging tge sales tags for the vitamin section when a customer comes up and asks
“Where are the vitamins?”
I’m so stunned I pause for a second before silently pointing to the shelf literally six inches from us

Pick Up A Book: An OSHA Handbook

, , , , , | Working | May 25, 2020

I work at a big chain bookstore. One morning, we come in to discover a large chunk of concrete has fallen through the ceiling in the business section. We cordon off the area, warning all customers — cue customers, “But I know what I need! Couldn’t you just run in there real quick?” — and at around midday a contractor comes in to take a look at it.

We’re told the area was stabilized and we shouldn’t have any other rocks falling, but word also gets around that he found up there an old form of insulation known to contain asbestos.

We’re all expecting an immediate store shut-down, but the general manager hems and haws and stalls, saying that he needs to be in touch with higher management to decide what to do. 

The next day, we’re back in as usual — now worried about getting cancer, rather than being knocked out by falling concrete. After a few hours, a call comes in over the walkies we all use to communicate:

“[General Manager], there’s a representative from OSHA on line two. OSHA, line two.”

The store is closed for several days.

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Wish They’d Never Been Born

, , , , | Right | May 25, 2020

I work as a receptionist in a university archive. Detailed descriptions of all our collections are online, so users often call or email to ask about documents they want to use for research. Every once in a while, we get a really weird question.

Me: “[Archive], how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi. I need a copy of my birth certificate.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I think you have the wrong number. This is the archive at [University].”

Caller: “I know. I was born at [Hospital], but it closed in the seventies and Google says that you have their records. How do I get a copy of my birth certificate?”

Me: “Ma’am, all the documents we have in that collection are about the founding and administration of the hospital, because of its historical value. We certainly don’t have patient records!”

Caller: “Well, why not? Where did they go?”

Me: “I don’t think that would be legal. Maybe the records were sent to patients’ primary care doctors? I really don’t know.”

She asks me two more times where the hospital’s patient records from over fifty years ago went, all the while complaining that they should be with us.

Caller: “Then where can I get a copy of my birth certificate?”

Me: “I’m not sure. I think town or county registrars usually keep those kinds of records, so maybe you should try them?”

Caller: “You’re just no help at all!”

She hung up on me.

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Unfiltered Story #194889

, , | Unfiltered | May 23, 2020

The customer has purchased a pre-order for Call of Duty: Black Ops II (Note: this takes place in mid-August).

Customer: “So, when does this come out?”
Me: “November 13.”
Customer: “So, next month?”
Me: “November.”
Customer: “I don’t know when that is…”
Me: “It’s August now, September, October, November… so about three months.”

That was followed by a unbelieving, quizzical look and an incomprehensible mumble.

This Should Have You In Stitches

, , , , , , | Healthy | May 21, 2020

I got in a minor motorcycle accident and I was in an emergency room to get stitches for a gash in my forehead. They told me they had a little girl, maybe six or seven, who needed stitches but was completely flipping out about it and asked if it would be okay to let her watch me.

So, basically, I had a little girl on a stool standing over me next to the doctor, and I chatted with her about how you can’t feel anything except some tugging, which doesn’t hurt after they give you anesthetics, as they stitched me up.

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