This Situation Is Escalating

, , , , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(I’m a ticket-taker in a major metropolitan movie theatre. It’s the opening weekend of a big superhero movie and it is incredibly busy. Our escalator is currently broken, but we offer guests our elevator. A woman refuses this offer, as she claims she can walk up stairs. I rip her ticket and then I hear a loud alarm.)

Woman: “WHY WON’T THE ESCALATOR WORK?!”

(She proceeds to keep hitting the emergency stop button, setting off the buzzer alarm.)

Me: “Ma’am, the escalator is broken and cannot be turned on. If you would like, the elevator is just across the lobby.”

Woman: “I WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE A CHILD! MAKE THE MOVING STAIRS WORK!”

(I tell her to calm down and that our elevator is across the lobby. She decides that flapping her arms like a bird will make the escalator work.)

Woman: “MAKE THEM WORK! MAKE THEM WORK!”

(Her flapping motion eventually causes another guest to get seriously hurt and we have to call security. She refuses to move, and the police need to be called.)

Me: *to another guest after the woman is removed* “I apologize, sir. I didn’t realize we were doing a live performance of The Birds tonight.”

Guest: “Oh, that’s fine. I couldn’t get tickets to [Superhero Movie], so it made my night!”

I’m Bringing Pizza Back

, , , , , | Right | August 7, 2018

(I work in a busy pizza shop in a college town. On a Friday night, a young woman makes a carry-out order for seven pizzas. It is picked up without incident, but later we get a call from the customer’s friend.)

Customer: “Hi, my friend ordered an extra pizza by accident; we only meant to get six pizzas. We’d like a refund, please.”

Me: “Okay, if you bring it back to the store, we can give you your money back for the extra pizza.”

Customer: “What? No, you’re going to send someone here to pick it up.”

Me: “I’m afraid that since this was a carry-out order, we can’t send someone to take it from you. You’ll have to bring it back yourself.”

Customer: “That’s incredibly inconvenient for me. Why can’t you just send someone?”

Me: “Because the drivers are paid through the tips and the delivery fees they get from delivery orders. Since it was a carry-out order, we can’t send a driver to go pick it up because they wouldn’t be compensated for their time, and we need them here to deliver other orders.”

Customer: “Well, then, I’ll keep the pizza, but you’re going to give me a refund.”

Me: “I can’t give you a refund if you keep the pizza. That would just be giving away a free pizza; I would get in trouble.”

Customer: “Then you’re going to give me a free pizza next time I order for making me go out of my way.”

Me: *starting to get angry* “Ma’am, you accidentally ordered an extra pizza and we made it exactly the way you ordered it. If you want your money back, you have to give the food back to us; we’re not just going to give you a refund. And we certainly can’t give you a free pizza because you made a mistake in your order.”

Customer: “So, you made a mistake and you won’t even take responsibility?”

Me: “We didn’t make a mistake; you ordered the pizza and we made it exactly how you asked for it. You then picked it up and brought it home.”

Customer: “This is unbelievably inconvenient. I’m just going to send someone to give you guys the pizza, but you’ll never get an order from me again!”

(She never sent the pizza back.)

Unfiltered Story #117850

, | Unfiltered | August 7, 2018

I’m picking a friend up from work and storm and there is a feisty sea gull threatening my life. After getting by him I storm into the store. I ask for the manager as angrily as I can.

Manager: Good afternoon ma’am how can I help you today?
Me (angrily):I was attacked by a bird in your parking lot! I demand compensation!
Manger: I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do about the wildlife.
Me: (with a smile) I know, I just wanted to let you know in case you needed something hilarious to watch on the security feeds to brighten your day.

My friend said they saved the clip and watch it when they need a laugh.

A Hot Slice Of Confusion

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

Customer: “Excuse me, but you’re out of cooked pizzas out front. Are you making any more today?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am! As a matter of fact, if you look behind me here, you’ll see that my coworker is slicing some fresh pizzas right now!”

(I point right at my coworker standing right next to a tall rack of pizzas. The customer goes wide-eyed.)

Customer: “So, you’re not making any more?!”

You’ll Stress-Knit A Whole Outfit At This Point

, , , , , | Healthy | August 1, 2018

(I’m waiting to see my psychiatrist for a medication check-up. This office schedules meds appointments in fifteen-minute blocks; they’re a quick in-and-out to make sure the meds are working before the prescription is refilled. I arrive five minutes before my appointment and am told I’m seeing a new doctor. I’m a little annoyed that they didn’t tell me this when the appointment was being set up — my father works in the mental health field and I’m uncomfortable being seen by his coworkers — but whatever; maybe my regular doctor is out sick. So, I go to the waiting room. And wait. And wait. At twenty minutes past my appointment time — so, five minutes after it is supposed to be over — I hear the receptionists chatting. They say something about the new doctor having computer problems. Okay, stuff happens. Forty minutes past my appointment time, the person who is waiting before me gets into a shouting match with the receptionists about how late things are running. I’m frustrated too, but an extra person yelling won’t change anything, and I have plenty of time, so I keep waiting. Finally, fifty minutes after my scheduled time, a harried-looking man calls my name and introduces himself as the doctor. I’m expecting him to apologize for the delay, or offer an explanation, or anything. Nope. He doesn’t say a word until we get to his office. Now my appointment starts in earnest.)

Doctor: “So, do think you’re depressed?”

Me: *pause* “This appointment is literally to treat my diagnosed depression, so, um, yeah.”

(He doesn’t respond at all to this. He doesn’t even look at me. He has a walking desk, so he’s power-walking in place while he types on his computer. And he keeps typing. For almost ten minutes. I almost stand up and walk out. But I’ve already been here forever, I don’t want to have to do this all again, and I need my meds refilled. So, I take out my knitting and work on that for a bit.)

Doctor: “Do you want to keep taking [Medication #1] and [Medication #2]?”

Me: “Yes, please.”

(He types for a few more minutes.)

Doctor: “I’ve sent in the prescriptions for those. I’ll see you again in five months.”

Me: “Thank you.”

(I get up to leave.)

Doctor: “Wow! You’re so fast at knitting! What are you making?”

Me: “A sweater. Bye.”

(I was at that office for over an hour, but in the appointment for less than fifteen minutes. He said almost nothing to me, and half of what he did say was about knitting. And when I went to the pharmacy, only one of the prescriptions had actually been sent over!)

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