Manager Was Too Chicken To Challenge

, , , , | Right | April 18, 2018

(I work in the deli. A coworker of mine from the customer service desk delivers packaging of a returned rotisserie chicken. I notice it has a sticker on it indicating that the item was marked down to half-price when it was purchased. When I look at the receipt, I notice something wrong.)

Me: “Uh, [Coworker]?”

Coworker: “Yeah?”

Me: “I see that this chicken was marked down to half-price, but looking at this receipt, it shows that the customer was refunded the full price.”

Coworker: “Yep… My boss told me to just give them the full refund, anyway.”

Me: “The reason it was returned was because the chicken was ‘a little dry,’ meaning the customer ate it. We actually paid the customer to eat our chicken?”

Coworker: “Lovely, isn’t it?”

Me: *long pause* “That’s it! I’m quitting and starting my career eating half-price chicken, effective immediately!”

Giving You A Break

, , , , | Hopeless | April 16, 2018

(I work in the bakery department of a busy grocery store. The lines are always long at the main cash registers, so my coworkers and I usually try to buy food for break or lunch in our department. One day, it’s particularly busy for us, with customers lining up at the coffee bar and the cake case, and catching anyone who is putting out product with questions. Many of them are unhappy with waiting and are impatient with us when we can finally help them. My manager sees me finish taking an order with a particularly difficult customer and pushes me out of the department to grab something to eat for the first time all day. I go up to the main registers to cash out, since I know that my coworkers are already stressed out with how busy it is. I find the shortest line — six customers, several with big carts full — so I can to begin the wait which I know will take up most of my break. The woman in front of me looks around and sees my uniform.)

Woman: “Oh, you must be on break! I know you don’t get a lot of time; do you want to go in front of me?”

(I stammer a thank-you, and move in front if her. The next couple in line turns around, and offers the same.)

Me: “Oh, no, that’s okay. You guys don’t have a lot to check out, either.”

(They shook their heads, insisted that they had nowhere to be, and moved aside to let me go first. This process continued all the way up the line, with every single person at that point hearing that the people behind them were letting me go so I’d have time to eat. I cashed out very quickly, turned back to my very sweet customers and thanked them all again, letting them know how much it meant to me, and ran off to eat. I’ve had sweet customers, but never an entire line of them, and it really restored my faith in humanity.)

Oh, The Humanities!

, , , , | Learning | April 16, 2018

(I attend a fairly prestigious liberal arts college, where students often try to present themselves as more intelligent and “woke” than their peers, so student humor often tends towards satirizing the pretentiousness of the student body itself. Additionally, there’s a pretty big divide between the humanities majors in Division I, arts and language, Division II, social sciences, and the STEM majors in Division III. This conversation is overheard in a dining hall between two physics majors, a boy and a girl, about a third student:)

Girl: “I like how we both tried to talk to him at the same time, but what I said was, ‘Have fun in lab!’ whereas you just declared your everlasting love—”

Boy: “I did not say, ‘everlasting’!”

Girl: “Okay, you just declared your temporary and ephemeral love—”

Boy: “Are you implying that my love for [Friend] is only meaningful if it’s eternal?”

Girl: “Am I? Does love even exist? Or is it really a social construct designed to enforce existing power structures in a post-industrial, capitalist society?”

Boy: “…”

Girl: “See? I can BS like a Div. II [humanities] major!”

The Sauce Of Your Frustrations

, , , | Right | April 11, 2018

Customer: *scanning the food in the hot case* “Hi. Can I get some honey barbecue chicken?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s not honey barbecue, just plain. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Hmm… All right, what else do you have?”

Me: “Other than the plain barbecue, we have—” *I list all of our food*

Customer: “All right, I’ll just get some honey barbecue.”

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry if I wasn’t clear, but we don’t have honey barbecue.”

Customer: “Oh… All right, what else do you have?”

Me: *louder and slower* “Plain barbecue, no honey—” *lists all our food again*

Customer: “Hmm…”

(His phone rings and he gives me the “one second” signal with his hand. I’m getting very annoyed, but still doing my best to remain professional while he takes a phone call.)

Customer: “Sorry about that. Let me just get some honey barbecue.”

Unfiltered Story #108909

, , | Unfiltered | April 10, 2018

I stop in to a corporate chain clothing store to poke around.  It is winter, so I’m wearing a hoodie, scarf, and winter coat.  Nothing that I’m wearing resembles the clothing for store associates, not even the basic colors.  I also have a blue mohawk.

I’m just starting down one of the clothing aisles when an older man steps out right in front of me.
Man: Where are your dress shirts?!
Me: … (I look down at what I’m wearing and back up at him, hoping he’ll get the hint.)
Man: Well?!
Me: I don’t work here.
Man: What?!
Me: (a little louder) I don’t work here.
Man: What?!
Me: (even louder) I don’t work here.
Man: What?!

We are at an impasse.  I start to just turn away when the man’s wife comes up, grabs his arm, and starts pulling him towards the door.
Wife: (to him) What is wrong with you, she clearly doesn’t work here, let’s go.  (to me) Sorry!

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