A Walking Carpet Is A Walking Carpet

, , , , | Friendly | December 15, 2017

(I am browsing in a department store when I overhear this interaction between two brothers, probably about five and six years old.)

Older Kid: “Bigfoot! Biiiigfoot! I found Bigfoot!”

Younger Kid: “Who’s he?”

Older Kid: “From Star Wars!”

It’s Cupcakes, So It’s Worth It

, , , , , | Friendly | December 14, 2017

(It is a hot summer’s day, and my partner and I decide to spend the day at a popular lakefront beach. After swimming for a while, I take my place on the sand, get some sun, and read a book. Two little girls are laying on beach towels next to me, chatting and lazily digging holes. That’s when I overhear the ten-year-old girl say to the eight-year-old girl:)

Ten-Year-Old Girl: “…and then, all you have left is one dead body and twelve cupcakes.”

(A budding Wednesday Addams stand-up comedian?)

Might As Well Explain It To A Robot

, , , | Right | December 13, 2017

(I work at a small museum for a university. We have an exhibit on robotics that has nothing hands-on. The text panels are very technical and, to someone who has not studied robotics, rather dry. The exhibit is designed for older students and adults. However, many people want to bring their young children, anyway. I have this conversation over the phone.)

Me: “Hello, [Museum].”

Caller: “Hello, my son is in kindergarten and loves robots. I see on your website that you have a robotics exhibit. Do you think that coming to [Museum] would be a good way to introduce him to robotics?”

Me: “We do have a robotics exhibit; however, it is more about the history and development of robotics. There is nothing hands-on, and we recommend it for middle-school age to adult audiences. Lots of people do bring younger children, but some of the technical stuff on the text panels might be a little over his head.”

Caller: *her voice absolutely dripping with disdain* “It would not be over his head.” *hangs up on me*

(So, she basically called to ask a question to which she had already decided the answer. Unless that kid was a robotics prodigy, he was not going to get anything out of those text panels! She would have been better off buying a basic robotics kit to start him off. This was not the first or the last visitor who believed they had a genius child.)

A Sudden Spray Of Compliments

, , , | Hopeless | December 8, 2017

(I work in a restaurant that is a part of a country club. I am hostessing one night that is pretty busy for most of my time there, but then it starts to get slow, so I decide to start cleaning the tables outside on the restaurant’s balcony. The spray I am using doesn’t have a strong smell, but it is not a pleasant smell either. I am finishing cleaning a table when I hear a member across the balcony say this to me:)

Member: “Um, EXCUSE ME? That spray you’re using has a very strong smell and I would appreciate it if you would not spray that when I’m trying to eat.”

(I am embarrassed from being yelled at in front of a few other tables, so I apologize and decide to put the cleaning supplies away. I start to walk towards the doors to go inside when I am stopped by a couple of new members.)

New Member: “For what it’s worth…”

Me: *in my head* “Crap, I’m going to be yelled at again.”

New Member: “…that spray actually smells nice, so please keep spraying it.”

Me: “Oh, well, I just put the supplies away, so I can clean later.”

New Member’s Wife: “Well, I’m glad you’re at least cleaning, when some workers leave tables a mess.”

New Member: “Yeah, and don’t listen to those people who yelled at you, they’re just a couple of a**h***s who like to berate workers. Why don’t you bring back the spray, and maybe I can teach them a lesson?”

Me: *laughing* “Oh, thank you for the kind words, but I don’t want either of us to get into trouble tonight.”

(After talking for a bit more, I go to clean inside the restaurant. I decide to come back outside to see if anything there needs to be cleaned, when the new members come inside to pay for their meal. They start talking to one of the waitresses, when the new member sees me again.)

New Member: *as he’s leaving* “Thank you for working hard tonight, ma’am, and don’t let those other people bring you down. I want to see you smile.”

(Those were some of the nicest members I have met in the three years I have worked at the restaurant, and they made me feel good for the rest of the night!)

Your Reasoning Regarding Seasoning

, , , , , | Working | December 7, 2017

(One of my coworkers is walking from the sales floor to the backroom.)

Manager: “Where are you going?”

Coworker: “A customer wants a motorized toy truck for their kid. There are none on the shelf, but I scanned the barcode and the scanner told me there’s one in the back room on the top shelf. I just need to get it down with a machine. I won’t be even five minutes.”

Manager: “You want to go to all that trouble for one toy car?”

Coworker: “It’s the kind that’s big enough for the child to drive in; it’s a 200-dollar sale.”

Manager: “No, that’s too much trouble for one thing. Get back to stocking your aisle and tell the customer that the scanner was mistaken.”

Coworker: “Sorry, but you did hear that it’s a 200-dollar sale, right?”

Manager: “Yes, but we can’t come back here every time the customer wants something. You have stocking to do!”

(A week or so later, I happen to be working alongside this coworker when the same manager walks up to her and the following exchange happens.)

Manager: “Hey, a customer is looking for a packet of seasoning and it looks like there’s one back here. The location is on the scanner here; can you get it down?”

(My coworker reads the scanner.)

Coworker: “[Manager], this is on the top shelf, wrapped in a pallet of mixed merchandise. I would have to get the machine to bring the pallet down and hope that the seasoning is in a place that I can get at without ripping the shrink-wrap. If not, I’d have to wrap the pallet again before putting it back up. All that for a single 50-cent packet of seasoning?”

Manager: “Well, we have to make the customer happy, and every little sale counts, right? Just try to make it quick; he’s waiting.”

(He walked off, leaving both of us just looking at each other, speechless.)

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