Unfiltered Story #127475

, , , | Unfiltered | November 17, 2018

*I’m in my mid-20s and look younger than I am, so I’m used to comments on my age. Today I’m wearing a shirt with “Irish” printed across it.*

Customer: “You must be Irish!”
Me: “No, I actually went to college at Notre Dame, and their mascot is the Fighting Irish.”
Customer: “Ah, are you planning on going to school there?”
Me: “Nope, I’m all done with college.”
Customer: “……Aren’t you, like 14 or 15?”
Me: *feeling uncomfortable with giving out my age* “No.”
Customer: “16?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Well, you CAN’T be more than a teenager. You shouldn’t have a job like this during school hours!”

Fedora Sales Increase After Discovery They Make Old Men Look Like Teenagers

, , , , , | Working | November 16, 2018

(My family has met up for a casual vacation and reunion at a popular tourist beach location. Our first night, a bunch of us go out to eat. The youngest person in the group is in their mid-twenties, and the oldest is in their fifties. We order food at the bar and take it onto the patio to eat, when an employee angrily comes outside.)

Employee: “Get out of here! We told you, you can’t hang out here!”

Cousin #1: “What?”

Employee: “The boss said if I saw you again to call the cops! You’d better be gone by the time they get here!”

Cousin #2: “I think there’s been some mistake.”

(The employee turns and goes back inside. Confused, I head back inside the dining room, and approach the hostess.)

Me: “Excuse me? Is there some problem with eating on the patio? We’d be happy to move.”

Hostess: “Oh, you’re fine. The employee just saw a bunch of teenagers who hang out there, graffiti the tables, and scare away paying customers.”

Me: “Well, he yelled at my family, who are paying customers and not teenagers.”

(The hostess stares at me for a moment. Then she walks over to look out the window to the patio, and rushes back to the kitchen. My family, intimidated, is debating leaving when the employee walks out, following an older woman who identifies herself as the owner.)

Owner: “There seems to have been a terrible mistake. My employee here mistook you for some teenagers—”

(The older members of my family start laughing.)

Employee: *pointing to my uncle* “They have the same hat as you!”

(My uncle sweeps off his fedora, revealing gray hair and a massive bald spot.)

Uncle: “It keeps the sun off!”

(We ended up getting our meals comped, and the employee was forced to apologize. Afterwards, we all had jokes about how well we all aged!)

Father Teaching Lessons To His Child Reaches Extreme Levels

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 15, 2018

(I am in math class at college on the first day of the semester, quietly sitting in my seat. The professor comes in and begins reading off the attendance list. When he gets to me:)

Me: *casually* “Hey, Dad.”

Father: *sigh* “Go to the office and tell them you need a different math teacher.”

It’s A Sign Of The Times When You Can’t Tell The Time

, , , , , | Right | November 14, 2018

(It is the end of the day and all of the visitors are gone, closing procedures completed, and lights off. My coworker and I exit the museum. There is a woman outside on the museum doorstep trying to come in.)

Coworker: “Hi. Can we help you?”

Woman: “Yeah, are you open?”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, we’re not. We closed about twenty minutes ago.”

Woman: “Well, then, why isn’t the door locked?”

Coworker: “It is locked. We only just unlocked it to leave the building.”

(He gestures to the sign with our hours just outside the front door.)

Coworker: “You’ll see on our sign that we close at five.”

Woman: *angrily* “WELL, I DON’T KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!”

(As she walked away, my coworker turned to me and said, “And that’s our fault?”)

Growing Up With Two Daddies Appears To Be Reasonable To A Child From Day One

, , , , , | Related | November 14, 2018

(My father is an identical twin. When both he and his brother were in the military and my uncle was visiting, I was about two. My mother and I had an interesting conversation.)

Mom: *pointing at my uncle* “Who’s that?”

Me: “That’s Daddy!”

Mom: *pointing at my father* “Who’s that?”

Me: “Two daddies!”

(I’m sure it seemed reasonable to me at the time.)

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