He’s A Veteran Complainer

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2020

A couple of friends and I go to the Oceanarium and we are in line to purchase our tickets. Ahead of us in the queue is an American family with their son. 

Customer: “Three tickets.”

Employee: “All right. Is your son over twelve years old?”

Customer: “No. And I am a veteran.”

Employee: “Okay, so one child and two adult tickets; that will be [price].”

Customer: “That’s too expensive. Did you apply a discount for me being a veteran?”

Employee: “There is no such discount. Children, senior, and family discounts are all we have, and a family discount requires you to have two children under the age of twelve.”

Customer: “That’s completely unacceptable. I have served in the Marines and I deserve a discount.”

Employee: “As I already told you, there is no discount for that. You might have served in the military, but that was not in Portugal, so it makes no sense for you to get a discount here. And even if you had served in Portugal, we have no discounts for people in the military.”

Customer: “I want to speak to your manager.”

The employee calls the manager.

Employee: “He is unavailable at this time; he’ll need at least thirty minutes before he can come here.”

Customer: “Is that the service you give customers in Europe? I demand to speak to a manager immediately.”

Employee: “As I have told you, he’s unavailable for the next thirty minutes. Right now, you have three options: you pay [price]; you step aside and I can give you our complaints book so you can make a written complaint; or you leave the queue.”

Customer: “I think I will just wait here for the manager.”

Employee: “That is not a possibility, I’m afraid. You are holding up other customers, and that is not okay. You’ll have to choose, now, one of the three options I have just presented to you; otherwise, I will call security and they will choose for you.”

Customer: “Fine! Back in the States, we can see better fish, anyway!”

And at that, he and his family turned around and left, but not before throwing all the Oceanarium maps and pamphlets on the ground.

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Unfiltered Story #194915

, | Unfiltered | May 25, 2020

One of our maintenance pool costumers complains about her’s green pool water,I called the technician who does the weekly maintenance, and found that the pool filling water comes from a duck pond. this is the conversation with the costumer.

Me- Ok, so I introduced chlorine in the pool, no one is allowed to swim for the next 42 hours, but I have to…
Costumer – Why, it’s summer I have children, This is unacceptable!
Me- Well as I was saying, the pool filling water comes from the duck pond next door, the water contains too much organic matter, we can not be responsible for the quality of water in the pool, as the filling water is too bad.
Costummer – Yes I know, I don’t care.
Me – You call [company] complaining about the water…
Costummer – Yes, you saw how the water was, it’s unacceptable.
Me – We Can Provide a good service if your water is that bad, I’m sorry but the water will be green every time you fill the pool to replace evaporation losses.
Costummer – I don’t care about the fill water.
Me – But you calling complaining about that?!
Costummer – Yes…
Me – Ok I’m canceling the maintenance, according to the sign the contract by both parties, the customer to provide the necessary conditions so that the technician can perform the maintenance, ie: water filling the pool in good condition and limpida, cleaning supplies, access to the site …. it was not fulfilled some of the conditions, so we can not provide good service as the customer wants. As information in the contract the service technician will clean your pool until the end of the month, but make it clear that not poedmos be responsible for the quality of water in this period, because the pool filling water is’t full of organic matter.
Me – But we do Madam, we aren’t going to be responsible for any disease or fungus that youcan get in the pool.
Costummer – Why are you doing this to me! It’s summer and I have kids! You are a f**** a*******! I will call all the newspapper and tell them the joke your company is!
Me – Madam, you can’t do that, It is illegal, if you have any complaints, should be done by the right means, in addition if you insist and proceed to complain to the media, I’m surely that you will receive a letter from our lawyer.
Costummer – Get out of my house! NOW! You are threatening me! I do not want to see your business here!
Me – Ok madam your maintenance will be suspended the rest of the month and canceled at the end of the month.
Costummer- WHAT!?You said you sent the man until the end of the month! This in the contract! And now he says that not anyone come here tomorrow ?!
Me – Yes, but since you don’t want to see our companny anymore, I assumer you don’t want the thecnician to come anymore.
Costummer NO!!!
Me – You can solve the problem let us fill the pool with the water company.
Costummer: NO!!!
Me – Ok Madam have a good day with your green water pool.

That Plan Croaked

, , , , , | Legal | October 11, 2019

We live in a somewhat big plot of land inside a village. It’s not big enough to be a farm, but big enough to allow us to have our small vegetable garden and chicken coop, while still being surrounded by neighbours with smaller plots. 

Our back neighbor would only be there for vacations and the occasional weekend, and would blast bad music on his speakers while the sun was up. 

One day, my father decided to make a pond in the back of our plot. Being so close to nature, it almost immediately filled with frogs that would croak almost non stop. 

A week after excavating the pond, my neighbor demanded that my father dredge it, because the frogs were making too much noise and his family could not sleep. My father refused, and the neighbor said he would contact the police. 

A month or so after, we received a visit from an environmental protection agency about “burning used car oils.” After we showed that there was no oil burning in our home, the agents went away. Next month, another agency visited us, this time about “steel scraps lying around,” and again, nothing came out of it. This went on for nearly a year, involving every single environmental protection agency and committee that exists, and a bunch of different reasons, none of which were enough to give a fine. They were, however, annoying, because every agent could find something that needed to be done, or there could have been a fine. 

The final visit was because of a complaint that my father was dumping detergents into the pond. The policeman explained the complaint, and apologized saying, “I am sorry, but we have to follow up on every complaint, even if they are ridiculous.” He went into the back, took a couple of pictures, and came up front beaming, but did not tell my father why. 

The next week, my father heard our neighbour screaming at his lawyer, stating, “I was the one making the complaint; why am I the one getting a fine?”

The lawyer simply said, “Next time you are complaining that someone is dumping detergents into a pond, it’s a good idea not to wash your car right next to it!”

The lawyer then advised my neighbor to stop the complaints, because we had enough false complaints against us that we could sue for libel and harassment and easily win. My father never did sue, but it still warms my heart to know how karma was so promptly served.

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Unfiltered Story #167687

, | Unfiltered | September 25, 2019

(I work at a medium sized resort in the South of the country. We work closely with a company which provides shuttle services to the airport which is 40 miles away from the resort. Guests who ask for this service to be provided to them are told, at least twice – upon booking and once they check in – that payment is done directly with reception, in cash. In this case, I am on my morning shift, talking to the driver which has just arrived to pick a family of guest up. They were giving all employees of the resort a hard time during their stay and I was warning the driver of that. The guest enters the receptions lobby, carrying his little girl on his arms, dropping the key to their villa on the counter without saying anything to me and hastily asked the driver to pick them and their bags at their villa)

Me: Excuse me sir, I have here your ticket/receipt for your transfer to the airport. The cost is € xx.

Guest: Oh yeah right. Here’s my credit card.

Me: Sorry sir, cash only.

Guest: What? This is ridiculous! I am leaving right now and you are telling me this just now?

Me: Sir you were informed of the amount and means of payment twice. Before and upon your arrival to the hotel.

Guest: This is crazy! (at this moment he starts pointing is finger at me) I will talk to the manager about this! This is crazy!

Me: Why is it crazy? You are using a service, it makes perfect sense that you pay for it.

Guest: Nonsense! This is crazy!

(at this moment he turns his back on me and leaves. The shuttle driver called his boss immediately, who told him “no money, no ride”. My colleague from the night shift who was still there trying desperatly to end his shift went to the villa to open the gate for the driver. The guest was there, next to the gate.)

Guest: So, do you have change for €xxx? I just want to leave this crazy town at once!

Fads Are Not Light Bulb Moments

, , , , , | Working | October 12, 2018

(The latest management fad is a daily briefing in which we have to state yesterday’s achievements and objectives for today, with a three-minutes time limit, all while standing in a circle holding hands. The implementer of the fad alternates between interrupting people for not giving their statements correctly and reprimanding them for running out of time. My turn comes, but a colleague cuts me off:)

Colleague: “[My Name], get a ladder and get someone to hang that map…”

Me: “Oh, while they have the ladder out, they could also change the burnt-out light bulb in the corridor!”

Fad Implementer: *holding up a finger like I was a little kid* “No, no, no, [My Name], this is not a topic for the morning briefing!”

Me: *speechless*

(I just hope the fad dies out before I punch him in the throat.)

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