Les Enfants Not-So-Terribles

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 18, 2018

I was flying back home from an event in Florida, and a woman sat down in front of me with a screaming infant. “Oh, this is going to be fun,” I thought.

Right then another woman with an active infant sat down next to me. She looked at the woman in front, then leaned over and said, “I guess this is your lucky day!”

If had been drinking something, I surely would have done a spit-take, it was so funny. That comment alone would have made up for any annoyances due to the babies.

After take-off she found a seat surrounded by fewer people, while the other tyke stayed remarkably quiet through the rest of the flight.

A Lawyer Too Mature To Defend Himself

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 2, 2018

(I’m a producer for a video game publishing company. I’m flying back from a business trip and making small talk with the guy seated next to me. He looks to be quite a bit older than me, maybe in his early 50s. He says, very smugly, that he works “in law.” When he asks what I do and I tell him, he scoffs.)

Guy: “Video games?”

Me: “Yes.”

Guy: *rolling his eyes and smirking* “Okay. That’s cute when you’re young, I guess. Well, you’ll grow out of it one day.”

Me: “I’m 34.”

Guy: “I’m just saying it’s a fun hobby, honey, not a career.”

Me: “I’ve been doing it for twelve years.”

Guy: “I’m just saying.”

(The woman seated on my other side, who is also quite a bit older than I am and hasn’t said ANYTHING up to this point, finally speaks up without raising her eyes from her book.)

Woman: “Yeah. Maybe she should just age into being a boring, condescending, judgemental jerk with a poor concept of personal hygiene who doesn’t know not to take his shoes off on a plane.”

(I think I gave myself a cramp trying not to burst out into shocked laughter. All I managed was to sort of double over snorting. He turned red, then sneered at her and said he “didn’t have time for immaturity,” and pulled out his laptop for the rest of the flight. I hadn’t actually been offended because by now I have heard it all when it comes to assumptions about my job, both good and bad, and I love what I do, but I have never had one stranger put another in their place on my behalf so sharply and effortlessly, before or since. It’s nice to have someone stand up for you. I hope as I grow older I can both have her confidence to do the same for someone else, and be assured that no matter who I talk to or what they do, I will never ever be like THAT guy.)

The Adventures Of Doctor Amazing At 30,000 Feet!

, , , , | Hopeless | October 16, 2018

My 18-month-old son and I were on a return flight home after visiting my mom. Getting to the airport, and on the flight, was stressful enough after having just spent two weeks with my nag of a mother. When the flight launched my son began fussing and wouldn’t accept a bottle or pacifier to help with the pressure in his ears.

Just as I was thanking whatever powers that be that the flight was relatively unpopulated, an older gentlemen with a distinct Hebrew accent scooped up my son and plopped down in the seat across the aisle from me. The mommy alarm bells were going off, but I was so stressed that I didn’t know what to do.

Through the flight, the older gentlemen talked to and soothed my son while maintaining the bulk of conversation between us. He fed my son figs and was just, in general, the nicest person I’ve dealt with probably ever. By the time my flight landed, my son was asleep and I was as cool as a cucumber.

My son is now 11, and I just started a job at a medical clinic that employs resident doctors. They require preceptor doctors to oversee their appointments. As it turns out, my friend from the flight is a respected doctor in the community and an excellent teacher to the fledgling doctors I’m working with. He is the same way with everybody as he was with my son and me: a super awesome and patient gentleman that loves to share knowledge and cares about people.

Between that encounter on the flight and my time working with him, it has been an honor to know someone as distinctly amazing as this particular doctor.

Attitude At Altitude

, , | Right | October 12, 2018

(A woman is frantically moving up and down the aisle of the plane. We still have two hours to go.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. Can you please sit down? We are experiencing turbulence.”

Passenger: “I don’t care about your f****** turbulence. I need to get out of this plane!”

Me: “Do you mind me asking why?”

Passenger: “We’re right over New York! We’re going to get bombed by Isis!”

Me: “What?!”

Passenger: “Stop the plane!”

(After the flight she was detained and interrogated regarding a bomb threat.)

Not The Milk Of Human Kindness

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2018

I am cabin crew (steward) for a UK based airline, and overall, things don’t really bother me that much. I do believe that people can’t be the personalities they display during the flights, as often common sense is not applied.

Naturally you get the same reply ‘what do you have’ when you’re asking them what they’d like to drink. I don’t mention the whole contents of the bar anymore, knowing that another 50 passengers are going to ask me the same question, always ending up asking for a soda or a glass of water in the end, so now I just reply what they usually have around this time of day.

One occasion still stands clear though, and I’m still as baffled as the day it happened. I was working in first class and a female passenger, around my own age, asked me for a coffee with cream. Nothing unusual, except for the fact that we don’t carry cream and only have plain milk, and so I replied that unfortunately, it had to be milk. Her reply to me was, “why don’t you go into the toilet and make me some cream.”

I was gobsmacked, didn’t know what to reply, felt like saying that with her face on my retina it was not going to be possible, but reconsidered and just walked off.

Obviously she thought that she was being funny but it was the most outrageous and disgusting comment I have ever witnessed. Clearly money can’t buy manners.

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