(I live in an apartment complex with four buildings. They are called A, B, C, and D. One day I phone the local taxi company to get a ride.)

Me: “Hi. Can I get a pickup at [complex address], please?”

Dispatcher: “Sure thing. Which building?”

Me: “A.”

Dispatcher: “Which building?”

Me: *a little more clearly* “A.”

Dispatcher: *more clearly* “Which. Building.”

Me: *drawn out* “A.”

Dispatcher: “I need to know which building!”

(It finally dawns on me that she thinks I am saying, “Eh?” as in, “Didn’t catch that, please repeat yourself!” in true Canadian fashion. I just thought our phone connection wasn’t the best and she couldn’t hear me.)

Me: “Oh! Building A. The first one at the top of the hill!”

(We both had a good laugh about it. I’ve been a regular for a few years now, so by now they already know where to come as soon as my number pops up on their caller ID in the mornings.)

My husband & I are British so sometimes the accent poses problems but not this much.

Husband (en route to the airport). ‘Terminal A please,
Driver ‘Terminal E’
Husband ‘ Terminal A’
Driver ‘Terminal E’
Husband ‘No terminal A, as in A for Apple’
Driver ‘E for Apple?’

(I’m a male student walking home from a night out, when some girls I vaguely recognise call me over.)
Girl 1: Hey, you’re in the same halls as us. Like to share a taxi? We can split the fair.
(It’s common for people at the taxi rank to grab anyone who happens to be heading the same way, so as to spread the fair over more people. I prefer to walk, but I feel like helping them out so I agree. Unfortunately, when we get there…)
Driver: That’s £15.
Me: So £3 each.
Girl 2: (Flutters her eyelashes) I thought you were paying.
Me: No. You said we were splitting the fare.
Girl 2: But I don’t have any money!
Girl 3: Or me!
Girl 4: Or me.
Me: So you decided to trick me into paying the whole thing when I didn’t want to come.
Girl 1: Well… I have a fiver.
(She places it on the tray. I only have a 20 so I put that down and pick up the fiver.)
Girl 1: Hey, that’s my money!
Me: Yeah. Just taking it as change.
(The driver hands us a fiver change, which I take despite the girls trying to snatch it form me.)
Girl 1: But it’s my money! You can’t have it!
Me: You put in 5. I put in 20. By taking 10 change, I paid twice as much as you in total.
Girl 2: We all saw you steel it!
(I decide to walk away from this, but the girls follow me through the car park.)
Girl 1: You took my money!
Girl 3: I can’t believe you’re being so petty about ten pounds!
Girl 4: We all saw you grab it!
(I know that the surrounding flats will be able to hear them so I turn to confront them.)
Me: Now look here! I have paid two thirds of your fair, you ungrateful brat! And that’s after…
(However, as I’m gesturing with my arms, Girl 1 abruptly clutches her face and screams, before grabbing some hall wardens. They take us all to separate rooms for questioning. A process which takes half an hour, during which I’m terrified that I’m about to be arrested for assault.)
Warden: Look, this is something you’d need to take up with the police. But you should wait until you’ve sobered up first.
Me: Thank you.
(The police never got involved. The girls later came up to me and apologised. I offered to give them the money back, in case I misjudged something. I never joined a taxi pool again.)

My fiance and I are going out for a date night. We have no car so we call a cab and it’s a guy we both know. The trip is fairly normal with basic small talk until…

Driver: My wife wants to become a driver too and there’s been stories of cab drivers being attacked. So I’m teaching her how to use a taser gun!

Us: Ohh that’s good! Can you show us how it works when we stop?

Driver: Yeah! -he pulls out the taser and turns it on, shocking himself while driving. He freaks out and swerves a little-

Us: -brief moment of worry, both for his and our safety-

Fiancé: Well if she had been here for that, it would have been the perfect lesson!

We all had a good laugh afterwards and the rest of the trip was taser free.

I got in a cab with a young woman driver who was a bit nervous but relieved to see that I was a woman with my child and not drunk or crazy. She talked a bit about some of the crazies she met and the necessity of being cautious, and started to give me advice. “If I were a woman … uh I am a woman.”