Me: “[Taxi Service], what’s your address?”
Customer: “[Address].”
Me: “Okay, is that a house, an apartment, or a business?”
Customer: “It’s a building.”
(Well, duh, it’s a building, as anything with an address usually is.)
Caller: “Can I get a [premium service] taxi?”
Me: “Well, we do require a half-hour notice for that and—“
Caller: “But it’s my wedding day!”
Me: “…”
(I work as a ride-share driver. If someone requests a ride but cancels it after a certain amount of time but before they are picked up, they get charged a cancellation fee of $5. This is to make sure the drivers still get paid for their time and gas when they travel to pick someone up. If a driver cancels a ride for any reason, the rider is not charged the fee. To get around this, some riders will call the driver and ask them to cancel for them. I have just traveled 15 minutes to pick up a rider. As soon as I pull up to the address, they call me.)
Rider #1: “Hello! Hey, can you hear me?”
Me: “Hey, I’m right outside.”
Rider #1: “I am having trouble with my phone!” *hangs up*
(I wait two more minutes before calling them back.)
Me: “Hey, I’m at your address. Are you here?”
Rider #1: “I put the address in wrong. I’m actually a few blocks away. Can you cancel so I can request the ride again?”
Me: “You can update your location in the app. I’d be happy to meet you where you are to pick you up.”
Rider #1: *to someone else in the background* “He said he will come to get us here. What do I do?”
(Suddenly, someone else is on the phone.)
Rider #2: “Um, hello? Yeah, the app won’t let me change the address, so can you just cancel the ride?”
Me: “That’s fine. Just cancel through the app.”
Rider #2: “Oh, um, it won’t let me do that, either. Can’t you just cancel it?”
Me: *feigning concern* “Oh, no! Have you tried contacting [App] tech support? They can help you through everything.”
Rider #2: *pause* “You should probably just cancel. What if someone else requests a ride?”
Me: “I’m happy to wait until you get everything straightened out.”
Rider #2: “OH, F*** YOU!”
(About thirty seconds after the call ended I was able to mark them as a no-show, and they got charged the cancellation fee, anyway.)
(I’m driving for Uber, taking a rider to a concert. He’s texting as I drive.)
Customer: “Hey, [My Name], we’re friends now, okay? I’m telling everyone that a friend is giving me a ride.”
Me: *playing along* “Okay, ‘friend,’ can I borrow twenty bucks?”
Customer: “If I give you money, you’re one of my kids.”
(I am a rideshare driver. I’ve picked up a group of young girls in the back, and they’re eating something. I assume it’s just chips.)
Girl #1: *leaving* “Thanks for the ride, sir!” *hops out*
Girl #2: *following her* “Yeah, thank you!”
Girl #3: “By the way, it’s okay! It’s not vomit!” *leaves*
Me: *watches them leave and then stares for a few minutes* “What the h*** did that mean?” *checks the back seat* “Holy s***!”
(The entire back of the car was smeared with nacho sauce. It was absolutely disgusting, and I now knew why the girl wanted to assure me that it wasn’t vomit. There was cheese smeared up and down the seats, across the doors, on the back, etc. It was awful, and it started to smell. I had to get it cleaned out immediately. That was a very weird encounter.)
