Return To Being Off The Clocks

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2019

(At my store, we have a policy to clock out during breaks, and a further policy not to do any work while clocked out, as employees legally must be compensated for their time. Small favors such as guiding a customer on the floor are okay, but anything at a register is strictly prohibited. I have just clocked out for a break and am still in my uniform. During the last few minutes of my shift, a customer has been standing at the service desk with a cart full of items, growing increasingly visibly agitated that no one is manning the desk. The customer sees me passing by and approaches me.)

Customer: “You. You need to help me. I need to make a bunch of returns and no one is manning the f****** desk.”

Me: “Sir, I sympathize with you, but I am not on the clock right now–“

Customer: *cutting me off* “That’s bulls***! I just saw you working!”

Me: “I was on the clock then, but now I am not. And I legally cannot do anything at a register right now or corporate will get in trouble for—“

Customer: *interrupting again* “I don’t f****** care; just go back there and do my return!”

Me: “Sir, even if I were clocked in, I can’t help you. We have to be trained in processing returns, and I haven’t been, so I’m not authorized to do anyth—“

Customer: “I don’t care if you’re not f****** authorized. I need this s*** done now!

Me: “Sir, as I’ve already said, I’m not on the clock anymore. But if you just go to register twenty you’ll find my manag—“

Customer: “I don’t want to go to register f****** twenty, you stupid b****. I want you to do my returns now. Where is your manager?! I’m going to get you fired!”

(I have been on register fifteen, within earshot of the manager’s desk, the entire time. The customer is now so close to me I can feel his breath on my face as he yells at me. I have been trying not to panic and to stay professional, but since I am off duty at the moment, I get impatient with him.)

Me: “My manager is right there at register twenty, as I just said. And since I’m not on the clock right now, I feel at ease saying that if you don’t want to walk five registers over to get the help you want, that is not my problem.”

(I walk away, leaving the customer still yelling obscenities at my back, and take my break in the fast food restaurant at the front of the store, where I have a clear view of the registers. The customer does indeed go directly to register 20 and proceeds to yell my manager up one side and down the other about me, pointing toward me frequently. She stands there smiling serenely the entire time. He then comes up to me in the restaurant and puts a finger so close to my mouth I could lick it.)

Customer: “I just got you fired.”

Me: “How are those returns going, sir?”

(He stormed out, leaving his cart and all his items at the service desk. After my break, my manager approached me, clearly trying not to laugh. She informed me the customer had tried to tell her had I cursed at him and called him names, which she knew was false because she had overheard everything, having only been five registers away. She did, however, think “that is not my problem” was the funniest thing she’d ever heard because it was the tamest part of his version of the story and the only part that was true. “That is not my problem” became a running joke around me from then on.)

Unfiltered Story #131603

, , , | Unfiltered | December 5, 2018

(I worked at a fairly popular video game store before the release of GTAV on console and the following happened)

Me: “Welcome to [store] how may i help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi.. I’m looking for that new Grand Theft Auto game on PC?”

Me: “If you’re referring to GTAV, sadly that game will not be coming to steam this year. We do however can sell you a $20 steam card so you may purchase GTA4 on PC”


(note this customer looks to be about 14 or 15.)

Me: “ALRIGHTY THEN! But i apologize we cannot sell you a game that does not exist on your platform.”

Customer: “I’m calling my mom and shes gonna get your a** fired for being a massive f***!!”

Me: “well our number is on the door. have fun”

(I go proceed to help out other customers and about 30 minutes later an older woman bursts into the store with the boy)


Me: “As i have told him before, that game will not be available on PC. Only on the PS3 and 360”


(At this point it was causing alot of commotion so my manager stepped in and tried explaining to them the exact same things I’ve told them)


(They leave the store and a couple days later we receive a call from corporate saying that they’re supposed to fire us because we don’t carry a game that doesn’t exist yet. Then just a whole bunch of laughs and end call)

That’s Not How Retail Works, That’s Not How Any Of It Works

, , , , , , | Right | December 4, 2018

(I’m working at a computer store when the original Wii comes out. Due to Nintendo being the company they are, they gave certain places only a small pallet of these game consoles. We were sold out within the first three hours of getting them.)

Customer: *comes up with crying child* “Excuse me. I’m sorry, but we’ve been to three stores already. Do you have the Wii?”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, we sold out.” *I look down at the crying little girl feeling bad*

(Suddenly the woman looks flustered and a little upset.)

Customer: “Well, can you, like, go back there and make one for us?”

Me: “Um, ma’am, that’s not how it works…”

(I take the next ten minutes explaining to this woman how retail stores work… You would think being someone who lives in the city and goes to multiple retail stores would know this?)

Don’t Play With Someone Else’s Grapes

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 26, 2018

(I am shopping when a random guy I don’t know comes over, drops several boxes of food in my cart, then sticks his hand in a bag of grapes I was purchasing and starts rubbing them in a very creepy, sensual way.)

Me: “Um, what the h*** are you doing?”

Customer: *surprised* “Oh, God! Sorry. I thought this was my wife’s cart.”

(He ran over to another cart at the end of the aisle with a woman near it and began talking to her. I could just make out her saying, “Really? Again?” before they left.)

We Want To See What They Would Do For A Door That Is Alarmed

, , , , , | Working | October 24, 2018

(I have just taken over handling the company’s soda machine after the previous person quit. After dealing with at least one jam per week and hearing complaints from coworkers in different departments, I decide to put a sign on the machine.)

Sign: “If the soda machine needs attention, please notify [My Name].”

Coworker #1: “The soda machine looks lonely. It needs attention.”

Coworker #2: “The soda machine needed attention so I gave it a hug.”

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