Cross-Species Really Gets My Goat

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 13, 2019

(I have pygmy goats which I sometimes walk on a leash at the nearby lake. Little kids often come by wanting to pet the goat, some mistaking it for a sheep. On two different occasions I have had adult women come up and ask what kind of animal I am walking.)

Me: *straight-faced* “This is a dogalope; it is a cross between a dog and an antelope.”

Woman: “I had no idea they could do such a thing!” *walks off shaking her head*

Me: *grinning to myself, also shaking my head that any adult would fall for that*

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We Need A New Charity For The Extra Stupid  

, , , , , | Right | November 7, 2019

(I am volunteering with a group that is collecting food donations for the troops. We are standing outside a popular grocery store handing out the list of foods we are looking for as shoppers go in. The idea is that they can purchase the items while shopping and bring them to us on the way out.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, we are collecting food donations today if you want to donate?”

Customer: *takes the list and looks over it* “Oh, I’d love to! I just go get these items and bring them to you?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, you just check out these items with your groceries and then bring them to us!”

Customer: “Oh, I pay for them? Never mind, then!” *throws the list on the ground and walks away*

(Apparently, she thought she could just shoplift whatever items she wanted to donate!)

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I Did It My Way

, , , , , | Learning | November 1, 2019

(I am in high school and am leaving school for the day. I had an extracurricular, so when I’m leaving almost everyone else has already left other than some staff. My car won’t start so I walk back into the school and ask if there’s anyone who can help me jump my car. The janitor meets me at my vehicle. Note that I am female and I know how to do basic car maintenance, including how to jump a car.)

Me: “So, I have my own jumper cables and I can do it if you’ll just pull your car in front of mine.”

Janitor: “No, no I got it. I got my own cables. We’ll use those.”

(He starts hooking up cables but he leaves his car running, puts the positive cable on his battery and the negative cable on a metal part in his car, and then puts both the positive and negative on my battery at the same time.)

Me: “Uh, that’s not right. You need to have both cables attached to your battery to start mine.”

Janitor: “I know how to jump a car.”

(His way is making me nervous so I take a few steps back cautiously.)

Janitor: “I know what I’m doing! It’s not going to explode or anything.”

(Sure enough, my car still won’t start.)

Janitor: “Yeah. Your battery’s completely shot. I don’t know what to tell you.”

Me: “Can we try it my way?”

Janitor: “No. I already did it the correct way and it didn’t work.”

Me: “Can we at least give it a try? I can do it. My dad taught me how and it was different than what you did.”

Janitor: “No. It’s dead.”

(He packs up his cables and goes back inside the school. Frustrated, I call my dad and tell him what took place. My dad leaves his work and drives to my school. Once he gets there, I get my cables and set it up the way my dad taught me. My car immediately starts and my dad leaves to go back to work. The janitor watches this happen and approaches me when I’m putting away my stuff.)

Janitor: “Oh, how did you get it to work?”

Me: “I did it my way.”

(He mumbled a half-apology and walked back to his car to leave for the day. He refused to make eye contact with me for the remainder of the school year.)

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Unfiltered Story #174546

, , , | Unfiltered | October 31, 2019

This happened a few years ago, me and my mom were picking up my sister from her dance class when a group of girls- presumably from another class come over. One of them looked at me before saying
Girl- “You’re really pretty.”

Girl, I don’t know where you are but it made my day. Thank you!!

Expressing Herself At The Express Lane

, , , , , | Right | October 23, 2019

(I’m at a natural grocery store chain which specializes in all-natural foods and vitamins and such. I get water here once a week, because it’s the only one in town that offers .25 a gallon for refills. I’m in line behind a woman who jumped from a regular lane to the quick — under ten items — lane with considerably more than ten items just as I was approaching there with my six gallons of refill. The quick lanes at this particular store are two side-by-side registers with just enough counter space between them for a handful of items to be loaded up for checkout.)

Me: “You have a lot more than ten items there.”

(The woman hesitates about a half-a-heartbeat before continuing to unload her items onto the counter, completely ignoring me. She overflows the available space and has to wait while the checker clears room before she can finish unloading. I’m not in too much of a hurry, so I let it pass. The checker is pleasant, and starts checking her mound of stuff out, bagging quickly to get her order done.)

Customer: “Those are only supposed to be [price] per pound.”

(The checker takes the potatoes and checks them. The store doesn’t use tags on produce very often, usually only on the organics. She verifies that she entered the code for the correct potato type and not a similar one.)

Customer: “No, that’s still wrong.”

(The checker calls over someone to do a price check, sets them aside, and continues checking the woman out while she eyeballs the screen to make sure everything else rings up “right.” The other employee comes back and verifies the brand, and tells her the price per pound; more than the woman claimed.)

Checker: “So, this appears to be right. Do you still want them?”

(The woman nods. The checkout completes, and the woman pays.)

Customer: “I’m going to tell your manager you were rude to me.” *flounces off*

Me: *rolling my basket past* “Six gallons of water refill.”

Checker: “[Price].”

Me: *pays cash* “And I’m going to go tell your manager exactly how rude that woman was to you, and how nice you were in the whole time.”

(I walk down the line of registers to the far end where the woman is waiting as the store manager completes a refund and patiently wait behind the woman. We eye each other for a time, and after a few moments, she grabs her basket and starts to walk off. She gets a few steps away before turning on me.)

Customer: *to me* “You’re a mean man, you know that?”

Me: *as blandly as I can manage* “I guess so.”

(The woman travels all the way down to the quick check-out and stops to say something to the checker again, and heads out the door. While I wait a few more minutes for the manager to finish, the man in line behind me comes down and says she berated the checker for being rude.)

Other Customer: “She was nothing but nice to her.”

Me: “I know, and apparently, I’m mean for sticking up for the checker. I’m going to make sure her manager knows, too.”

(He smiled and headed out. I let the store manager know what happened, just in case the woman called later. She appreciated that I had done so.)

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