When They Grab You By The Entitlement

, , , | Right | March 27, 2020

(My girlfriend just got off work and I meet her in the baby clothes section so we can buy clothes for a new baby. Her name tag is off, she’s wearing her purse, and we’re holding hands.)

Me: “I really like the shorts on this outfit. The giraffe on the shirt is lame, but these shorts rock.”

(A woman shopping next to us looks at the outfit I’m holding as I hand it to my girlfriend.)

Girlfriend: “Oooh, these are adorable.”

Me: “Aren’t they?”

Customer: “Let me see that.”

(She grabs the outfit from my girlfriend’s hands.)

Customer: “Oh, yeah, they are cute. I think I changed my mind. Thank you for finding this for me.”

(As I looked at her with a face of contempt, she started to walk away. I went to say that we’d been looking at those, but my girlfriends stopped me to avoid getting in trouble with her work.)

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Europa-thetic At Spelling

, , , , , | Learning | March 26, 2020

(I’m in sixth grade in this story and everyone in my class has been assigned a presentation on a body in the solar system. It is my turn.)

Me: “For my presentation, I studied Jupiter’s moon, Io.”

Teacher: “Okay. And how do you spell that?”

Me: “I… O…”

Teacher: “Oh.”

(She didn’t ask me any other questions.)

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“He” Is Not Thirsty

, , , | Right | March 25, 2020

(I’m taking orders on drive-thru. My manager is bagging orders, handing them out, and occasionally taking money when I am busy with another customer. Note that our timer starts as soon as a customer pulls up to the speaker, so it counts against us when a customer takes time to decide what they want. An elderly lady pulls up to the speaker.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “A hamburger and French fries.”

Me: “Okay, did you want, like, the 99¢ junior hamburger, or the single with no cheese, or which one?”

Customer: “The 99¢ one.”

Me: “And what size fries?”

Customer: “Value.”

Me: “Okay, anything else?”

Customer: “Yeah, a value-size drink.”

(Long pause.)

Me: “Um, what kind of drink did you want?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m just waiting for him to tell me what he wants.”

(Another long pause.)

Me: “So… just the hamburger and the fries?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Your total is $2.08 at the second window.”

(She drives slowly to the window, which is common with elderly customers. I have another customer waiting to place their order, so my manager takes her money.)

Manager: “Hello! That’ll be $2.08.”

(The customer doesn’t seem to be all there: she doesn’t look at my manager at all, rather she looks around dreamily. She takes so long to get her money that once she does, our drive-thru line is completely full. She gives my manager two $1 bills, two pennies, a nickel, and a quarter.)

Manager: *hands her the quarter and the food* “Have a good day.”

(Later…)

Manager: “That woman was not all there. She was telling me about how she’s from California, and they told her they have [Restaurant]s here!”

Me: “And wasn’t she the only one in the car?”

Manager: “Oh, yeah, that’s right! She said she was waiting on someone to order!”

(I hope she made it home okay!)

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Unfiltered Story #190592

, , , | Unfiltered | March 25, 2020

(This happened several years ago while I was working as a pet trainer for a large pet supply retail chain. The store sells several kinds of bark collars, including shock collars, and most employees will try to direct the customer to a trainer to see if additional help can be provided for behavior modification instead of using a shock collar. Also note that certain breeds of dogs have a very high pain tolerance and so certain collars do not work well on them.)

I’m at the front of the store when I see this happen:

Customer: (slams shock collar down on counter) “I want you to give me my money back, it doesn’t work.”

Co-worker: “I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Did you already try switching out the batteries for new ones? It’s possible the batteries it came with were old.”

Customer: “I TRIED that already and the f***ing thing doesn’t work.

Co-worker: “And you also checked the level setting, turned it to a higher one?”

Customer: “YES! It’s on the highest one, but the dog just keeps barking and I want my f***ing money back”.

Co-worker: “No problem. If you have the receipt, I’ll get the return started. Our pet trainer (points to me) is here, she may be able to help you…”

Customer: “I JUST WANT my dog to STOP barking and for this piece of s*** collar I paid for to work! It doesn’t work! See?!?”

Customer then picks the collar up off the counter, proceeds to place it against his neck, and then barks. The collar quite obviously shocks him very hard, a red mark had already started forming on his neck when he moved it away.

Without a word, he sets down the collar on the counter, turns and walks out of the store.

My co-worker and I stared at each other completely dumbfounded. If I had not seen this happen right in front of me, I wouldn’t have believed it.

Do You Still Hear Voices If It’s Your Own Voice?

, , , , | Right | March 24, 2020

(I take calls for a cell phone provider.)

Customer: “I really need your help. I think I’m in danger.”

Me: “All right, I’ll be glad to help in any way I can.”

Customer: “Someone is hacking into my phone; they’re sending belligerent text messages to my ex-boyfriend without my permission, and they call my family asking for help using my voice!”

Me: “Oh, okay. Let me… Just give me a moment.”

(I look at account notes and see that someone has put in a fraud alert for this, and that has, of course, been cleared, finding no fraud.)

Me: “I see here that we have investigated this, but we’ve found no fraud on the line.”

Customer: “Just tell me, if you’re not finding anything, and the police aren’t finding anything, how is this happening?”

Me: “Look, I’m gonna give it to you straight. There is no real-world way this is happening. I would suggest consulting a doctor.”

Customer: “You think so?”

Me: “I do.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll do that. Thank you.”

Me: *to my coworker* “I’m getting fired.”

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