Their Security Procedure Needs A Shot In The Arm

, , , , , | Working | August 16, 2017

(I’m waiting for my pneumonia shot. A woman comes in with a hypodermic.)

Woman: “I can never get these computers to work!” *types, mutters* “So hard to log in — there! Now… okay, there we are. Now let’s get your shot!”

Me: “Um, you’re not wearing any sort of ID.”

Woman: “Oh, I guess I’m not. Another nurse needed to borrow it.” *moves towards me to give shot*

Me: “I don’t think so. You’re a total stranger with no identification; we’re not doing this!” *and I’m thinking, she’s foolish enough to admit she gave someone else her ID?!*

Woman: “You’re exactly right. I’ll go get it.”

(She leaves, comes back, and waves an ID at me. I grab the ID and carefully check that the photo matches the face, which it does.)

Woman: “Let’s get this over with, because I have to get my ID back to the other nurse. She still needs it.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

(I filed a formal complaint against her at the front desk. I’ll get my shot some other time!)

It Takes A True Man

, , , , | Friendly | August 8, 2017

(I’m at the store picking up feminine products, but also get a couple groceries and other random items. At this time of day only self checkout is open and just as I get to the lane they’re all suddenly filled up by men. One of the guys getting in line sees me and blushes.)

Man: “Miss, you can go ahead of me!”

Me: “Oh, thanks, but I have more things than you.”

Man: “No, no, I insist. Please go ahead.”

Me: “Oh, well, thank you. That’s really nice of you.” *steps in front of him*

(The guy in front of me turned to put his things on the conveyor belt and saw me. He too insisted I go ahead. I was baffled by the fact that two gentlemen had insisted I go ahead until I scanned the feminine products and it clicked. I was amused but very embarrassed.)

Unfiltered Story #91265

, , | Unfiltered | August 5, 2017

(Regular customer who had been absent for awhile for a mid life crisis…upgrade. She had obviously gotten a lot of work done. Previously she would wear business dress clothing but as she approached me in a full body skin tight leopard print suit with red kitten heels and 15 Nordstrom shopping bags I knew this would take awhile.)

Leopard Print Blond: “Excuse me! Miss! Excuse me!”

Me: “Yes, Ma’am?”

Leopard Print Blond: “Do you sell literature here?”

Me: “Yes we do. I would love to help you but I have a customer on hold waiting for me to look for a book. If you would like I am sure there will be someone at Customer Services to assist you.”

Leopard Print Blond: *remember, she is a regular* “Okay, umm, where is that?”
Embarrassed 15-Year-Old Son: “Mom, it’s up front… where it says Customer Service.”

Leopard Print Blond: “Oh! Ok! Thanks!”

Me: “You’re welcome.”

(After getting to the receiving room I burst out laughing and two minutes later my manager came back.)

Manager: “Does anyone have Motrin?”

Me: “Let me guess… Leopard Print Blonde?”

Manager: “How did you know?”

Half-Baked Parenting

, , , , | Related | July 18, 2017

I’m about six years old. I’ve been disabled since birth, so spending long hours walking around is too much for me. (Thank goodness for getting a wheelchair now! I’m free to shop ’til I drop!)

My mother decides that she wants to go shopping in a little town. I am less than enthusiastic, so she pops in to a bakery, tells me to sit, then leaves.

It takes a little while for the staff to realize she’s not coming back. They ask me where she is, to which I just shrug. I don’t know her number, nor do I have any identification on me. Unable to leave the store to search for my mother, they decide to keep an eye on me until she comes back.

Over the several hours she’s gone, I get bored. I look at the stuffed animals the bakery has for decoration, and (without touching them or getting out of my seat) I start to make up stories for them. The lizard is my favorite. The staff must have noticed, because the owner takes it down and lets me play with it.

Evening arrives, and my mother finally returns. She tells me to give the lizard back, but the owner insists I keep it. I don’t know what they said to my mother that day, but she was angry with me the rest of the way home. I didn’t get left anywhere after that.

To the bakery staff and owner, thank you for dealing with such an unexpected ordeal. I still treasure that lizard you gave me.

Telling A Large Raspberry To Get A Large Strawberry

, , , , , , | Right | June 30, 2017

(I work at a Specialty Ice Cream stand, which is a rather popular stand. One particular day, a child whom I’ve never seen before comes up to the stand. He can’t be older than 12.)

Child: “Hi, I haven’t gotten my large strawberry yet.”

Me: *knowing I’ve never seen him* “You haven’t ordered a large strawberry.”

Child: “Yes, I have! You just never gave it to me!”

Me: “Okay, how much did you pay for it?”

Child: “I paid…” *checks sign next to the window which has the base price without tax, then states that price to me*

Me: *internally grinning* “Large [Specialty Ice Cream] is [price with tax].”

(The kid’s expression fell as he knew he’d been caught. He walked away without another word. I moved on to the next customer who had seen the whole thing and was grinning as well. We both agreed that it was a rather poor attempt.)

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