The Secret With Dogs Is Consistency

, , , , , | Friendly | May 28, 2020

A neighbor’s dog, large but still a puppy, has slipped her collar. The dog is usually very well-behaved and has learned commands well. The neighbor is pretty friendly, laid back, and in control, so I am a bit surprised to see the dog running back and forth in the street as the young man chases after, swinging her leash and cursing and yelling at the dog to stop.

Of course, the dog thinks it is a great, fun game and keeps running, staying close but out of reach, and nearly getting hit by cars a couple of times. “Stop” is probably not a command that she’s been taught.

Me: “[Neighbor], stop and command [Dog] to ‘sit’ and ‘stay.’ She thinks you’re playing with her and she’ll keep running if you keep chasing her.

Neighbor: “She’s my dog and I’ll handle it my way. Butt out!”

As I watch, the “game” continues for several more minutes, the neighbor getting more and more frustrated and upset at his dog but still chasing after her and cursing and shouting. Finally, after the dog is nearly hit by another car, he stops running.

Neighbor: “[Dog], sit! Stay!”

The dog immediately sat, allowing the young man to walk right up and slip her collar back on and lead her back home.

Although it was hard not to say anything, I didn’t, as I was glad disaster was avoided and I didn’t want to antagonize the already upset young man. The next time I saw them, the dog was wearing a sturdy harness, and for several weeks after, the neighbor avoided eye contact with me.

I’ll Have What He Had

, , , , , , | Working | May 25, 2020

I live in a state where recreational marijuana is legal. I’m ordering from a restaurant that’s popular with the stoner crowd and the people who work there are usually a little hazy themselves. For this reason, I’m usually pretty thorough about making sure everything I order is correct.

The delivery guy has just delivered my food and, to my surprise, everything is correct. I sit down to eat when I get a call.

Me: “Hello?”

Delivery Guy: “Hey, man, it’s your driver from [Restaurant]. I’m so sorry, man! I took your food to the wrong house!”

Me: “What? No, you didn’t.”

Delivery Guy: “You had [correct order], right?”

Me: *Pause* “Yeah?”

Delivery Guy: “I’m really sorry! I’m running back to the restaurant right now; I’ll be right there.”

Me: “No, dude, I’m telling you, I have everything I ordered right in front of me. I’m in the middle of eating it!”

Delivery Guy: “No, it’s totally my bad. Don’t worry.”

Me: “Listen to me. I just saw you! You handed the food to me! My name is on the receipt!” 

Delivery Guy: “Sorry. It’s going to be, I don’t know, like, ten more minutes.”

Me: “Please, I’m telling you: I paid, you gave me the food, and it’s all perfect. You don’t have to do anything. We’re all good.”

Delivery Guy: “I know, I’m sorry. It’s just been a long night. But I’m almost back at the restaurant now, so I won’t be too long.”

Me: “Really, it’s okay. I don’t need anything-”

Delivery Guy: “It’s no problem. Just… Oh, wait…”

He is silent for a good few seconds.

Delivery Guy: “My bad! Have a good night!” *Click*

I never figured out what he thought was going on. The food was great, though!

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Unfiltered Story #194917

, , , | Unfiltered | May 25, 2020

I was standing in front of our business smoking a cigarette. It helps to know that our business is selling materials to people who make signs. I am on the right side of a blocked door. There is a sign on the door that says “Not an Entrance” and another, with an arrow pointing left that says “Will Call Desk.” 5 yards (meters, to most of the world) to the left is a door marked “Will Call Desk.” All of the signs are red letters with black outline, on white background, and feature 8″ (20 cm) high copy.
A customer walked up and tried the knob on the door. When it didn’t open, he asked me brusquely ‘Where is your will call desk?” I answered “5 yards to your left, Sir.” He then said “You should think about getting some signage!” Thinking he was making a joke to cover his embarrassment, I laughed and agreed.
After I came back from break, my coworkers informed me that he was serious. He’d never seen any of the three signs, all at eye level. And he is a sign painter by trade.

A Sprinkle Of The Lord

, , , , , | Right | May 24, 2020

My church has a “Two Wheel Ministry” in which everyone with a motorcycle gets together on the first Sunday of every month, weather permitting, and goes on a long ride together after service. The Pastor rides ahead of the group and the ones who run it run behind them in order to assist in keeping everyone together, as not everyone is used to riding in large groups.

On this particular ride, we’re about thirty bikes strong. Even though the weather is really nice, most people are dressed in their riding leathers and you wouldn’t automatically know we’re a bunch of church-goers out for fun.

We make our mid-trip stop, which is about an hour into the ride, to get gas and stretch. There happens to be a famous American coffee shop in the same parking lot and we all decide to have a short stop over to grab something to drink.

The look on the faces of the wait staff and the few customers as around fifteen of us file in is priceless. It is a mix of shock, fear, and confusion. Always being one to be able to read the room, the head of the motorcycle group turns around and addresses us.

Group Leader:Okay, listen up! Tall orders only! Anyone else getting whipped cream on their coffee?!”

Almost All Of Us Together: “I am!”

Me: “And yes! Yes, I do want sprinkles!”

I hear the door open and, without missing a beat, I hear my pastor shout:

Pastor: “Oh, heck yeah! SPRINKLES!”

The staff started laughing and you could see everyone relax. We introduced ourselves to the few customers there and the staff as we waited for our drinks. We picked up a few new members to the church that day, too. It was great.

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Bravery Is By Far The Kindest Word For Stupidity

, , , , , | Working | May 22, 2020

I work in a movie theater that serves food and drinks to people while they’re in the theater. My job is to run food and drinks to people’s seats. It was my first week when I delivered some soda to a few people in a theater.

While I was putting down one lady’s drink, I accidentally spilled it onto her lap. I apologized and got napkins to help clean up. Luckily, the lady was nice and didn’t get upset about the spill. After bringing her the soda again, I went back to running food and drinks.

A while later, I grabbed a tray with food for that same theater and was told that the pizza that went with it was dropped and would be remade. As it turned out, it was the same group and the pizza belonged to the lady whose drink I spilled. I was extremely nervous and apologized for the pizza and the soda. Later, I had to run the pizza to the lady.

Several times in the following months, the guy who had taken their order and saw me make all four trips would relay the story to our coworkers, saying that I had balls for going back to the theater. I always laughed when he said this, not because I agreed with him, but because I knew that I wasn’t brave; I was just too dumb to realize that I should have avoided that theater.

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