Unfiltered Story #101632

, , | Unfiltered | December 13, 2017

I am calling my doctors office to make an appointment and she is asking for basic information like my name and date of birth.

Receptionist: And when is your date of birth?

Me: February 1st, 94

Receptionist: Is that 1994?

Me: Well, unless I’m from the future or look great for 123, yes 1994.

I’m Gonna Go With Time-Travel

, , , , | Healthy | December 12, 2017

(I am calling my doctor’s office to make an appointment and she is asking for basic information like my name and date of birth.)

Receptionist: “And when is your date of birth?”

Me: “February first, ‘94.”

Receptionist: “Is that 1994?”

Me: “Well, unless I’m from the future or look great for 123, yes, 1994.”

Unfiltered Story #101630

, , | Unfiltered | December 12, 2017

I am calling to schedule an appointment.

Receptionist: Can I have your name?

Me: First name, Smith

Receptionist: How do you spell your last?

Me: Um, S M I T H.

Receptionist: (silence). That was a stupid question wasn’t it?

Me: (laughing) Your words, not mine.

An Invisible Disability

, , , , , | Related | December 11, 2017

(My youngest son is three. He has a severe speech disability. By three years old, he can only speak about six words. He is in speech therapy, but it is early on, and he does not communicate well. We are sitting for the neighbor’s kids, aged eight and ten. My three-year-old starts screaming uncontrollably.)

Neighbor’s Kids: “What do you want?” *picking abilities for their video game characters*

Son: “Fes-pa.”

Neighbor’s Kids: *confused* “What?”

Son: “Fes-pa.”

(As my son is screaming and having a fit, I place him in his room to calm down. Two minutes later…)

Me: “[Son], I want to understand. Tell me again why you are upset.”

Son: “Where is my DI?” *DSI, video game console*

(I give him his DSI. My son pulls out a game and pushes a few buttons.)

Son: “Yooka, Momma… See Thor?”

(I see Thor. He pushes another button, and Thor disappears. He turns invisible.)

Me: *realization setting in* “Son, do you mean ‘invisible’?”

Son: “Yeah, Momma.”

Me: *look of utter disbelief*

(Moral of the story: kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Take the time to really listen; they want to be heard! Oh, and, just because they cannot vocalize, it does not mean you cannot be astounded by their ability to communicate, I was!)

Unfiltered Story #101614

, | Unfiltered | December 11, 2017

( <i> This in my old Army unit where I was working as the only computer/networking tech. This meant supporting over two hundred end users all alone when this brand new Lieutenant walked into my office on a particularly busy day. </i>)

LT: “I need a brand new laptop now!”

Me: “Excuse me, Sir?”

LT: “I said I need a brand new laptop. Time now!”

Me: “Ok, Sir, what exactly is going on with the one you were issued?”
(Note: I just issued them a laptop that morning.)

LT: “The one you gave me is too old. It doesn’t even connect to the internet, and I NEED a new one to work.”

(Que feeling that they’re doing something stupid.)

Me: “Well, Sir, give me a few minutes as I am working on the Commander’s laptop and is my current priority.”

LT: “I DON’T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU’RE WORKING ON THE PRESIDENT’S LAPTOP! I NEED A NEW ONE NOW AND THAT’S AN ORDER!”

(Deep breath)

Me: “Alright, Sir, before I can I need to properly diagnose your system at your workstation. If you’ll show me your desk…”

(After a short walk down the hall to another office where several officers and NCOs were working. The LT showed me his laptop and I immediately found the problem. At this unit all WiFi is disabled so the only way to connect to the internet is via a hard line. Which in this case, was not connected to his laptop. Holding up the disconnected cable I turn to the LT.)

Me: “Sir, you need to plug this in for the internet to work. As I explained this morning when I issued this laptop to you.”

(I dropped the cable on his desk and walked out back to my office. I could hear the other officers and NCOs laughing all the down the hall.)

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