Dramas In Pajamas

, , , , , | Right | January 2, 2020

(I am on the tills. A woman comes to me and takes a two-pack of girls pyjamas out of a bag, with a receipt, and hands them to me.)

Customer: “I need to return these; I bought them for my granddaughter for Christmas and they were too small.”

Me: “The return period for Christmas gifts is now over, but I can either exchange them or give store credit at the current till price.”

Customer: “But I have my receipt, and I was told I could return them until the end of January.”

Me: “The last date for return on the receipt was the 25th of December, but we extended it to January 14th, which was posted around the shop, including where you queue and even on the till counters.”

Customer: “Well, I was ill when I bought them so I probably didn’t read them.”

Me: *internally* “And?” *out loud* “Well, they are coming up at £9.00, so as I said, it’s either an exchange or vouchers at till value.”

Customer: “But I paid more than that and I have my receipt.”

(She paid £10.50. Mentally banging my head on the counter, I explain again.)

Customer: “No, I am going to look into this. I have my receipt and they are too small, so you have to refund them. I know my rights.”

Me: “Actually, returning something because it is too small is not included in your statutory rights.”

(She just huffed and grabbed the pyjamas and receipt before stropping off. Just to make clear, I don’t get rude or stroppy with customers; I stay polite, which I think annoys them as they can’t complain I have been rude or stroppy to them. I was being nice. I could have actually refused to return them as she had had them so long over our return policy. And all over £1.50…)

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So Drunk That The Alphabet Changed

, , , , , , | Related | January 1, 2020

(It’s New Year’s morning, a little after five in the morning. My cousin, her fiancé, a friend from our gaming group, his sleeping wife, and I are in a room. His wife starts snoring lightly and he goes to roll her over.)

Me: “Ah, just let her be.”

Cousin: *drunk* “Letter B! Letter B! Third letter of the alphabet!”

Me: “Third?”

Cousin: “Second! Close enough!”

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The Year Ended With A Karmic Bang

, , , , , , | Legal | December 31, 2019

I am working at the main railway station in Helsinki during New Year’s night when I spot two teenagers lighting up firecrackers and throwing them onto the street where people are walking. I approach them and sternly tell them to stop as they could hurt someone.

While I approach, they are still lighting one up. They throw it without looking, and where else would it land but next to a police car that has just arrived on patrol?

I leave the kids to discuss their actions with the police.

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Technically, That Could Be A Resolution

, , , , , , | Working | December 31, 2019

(A couple of coworkers and I are talking before we clock in this morning. We’re all kind of punchy from the early hour.)

Coworker #1: “Any plans for tonight?”

Me: “No, I work tomorrow morning. Collecting all that time and a half, you know.”

Coworker #2: “I’ve got to start working on my New Year’s revolution.”

Me: “Your what now?!”

Coworker #1: “Do you mean resolution?” *snickers*

Coworker #2: “What did I say?”

Me: “New Year’s revolution.” *giggling* “I honestly like that better than resolution.”

(We were laughing for a good five minutes as we made our way up the elevator. And we’ve been yelling, “VIVA LA REVOLUTION!” when we see each other through the day.)

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Suddenly Know What The Neighbors New Year’s Resolution Will Be

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 31, 2019

(This happens when I am about four. It’s New Year’s Eve, and the house at the corner is having a party. Someone sets off fireworks in the empty lot near said house, and my sister and I run down to go watch. We are standing near the fence of the house party. As we’re watching the fireworks, a young woman leans over the fence.)

Woman: “Hey, what are you two doing?”

Me: “We’re watching fireworks!”

Woman: “That’s cool.”

(Then, for no reason, she DUMPED her entire cup of beer on my sister and me. We both squealed and ran home, crying. My mom called the cops, and the party was shut down after it was revealed that the majority of the young adults drinking weren’t of age yet.)

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