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Jesus Died So You Could Troubleshoot

, , , | Right | October 7, 2021

My friend and I are doing freelance programming as a side job. One job is for an office of the Catholic Church. We both are Christians; we usually refrain from hitting people over the head with it, but we won’t deny it if asked. This being the church, the subject has come up and been dealt with.

They know that, for us, Good Friday and Easter Sunday are the biggest holidays of the year. Also, in our country, there are a couple of bank holidays around Easter, so family and friends gather and celebrate. It is much like Thanksgiving in the US.

Shortly before Good Friday, we get this email.

Church: “I assume you do not have much to do during the holidays, so here is a list of bugs and wishes for you to work on.”

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I Open My Mouth And Reality Spills Out

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: DreamQueen710 | September 28, 2021

I am working an Easter brunch. I am behind the bar, so I have a few regulars stop in throughout the shift.

Regular: “I’m sorry you all have to work today but thank you very much for the meal and company. I hope you’re making time-and-a-half for working on a holiday!”

I don’t even realize what I’m saying until the words have left my mouth.

Me: “We make $2.13 an hour, so even if we were getting holiday pay, it wouldn’t mean much.”

The other guest at the bar and my regular, looked totally shocked. I tried to laugh it off and change the topic, but… Oops. I told.

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Honestly, Who Raised You?!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: votedog | July 17, 2021

This happens on Mother’s Day years and years ago. I have two large tables; one holds fifteen and the other holds twelve.

The twelve-top is seated. I take their drink order and go in the back to get it. They decide they like the fifteen-top table in my section better, get up, and move there. A hostess comes up with the fifteen-top that was meant to sit at that table. She’s confused and comes to find me. I approach the table.

Me: “I’m sorry but we’re going to need your party to move back to your original table. This is set for fifteen people and you have twelve.”

Customer #1: “Yeah, we were way too squished there. We like this better.”

I point to the party of fifteen waiting.

Me: “This table is set for them. They have fifteen. You will need to move back.”

A woman from the fifteen-top approaches.

Customer #2: “This is our table. We have fifteen! You heard her; move back to your table.”

Customer #1: “No. It’s Mother’s Day and I want my mother to have the best table.”

Customer #2: “Oh, and my mother doesn’t deserve to have a nice table?”

They start to argue loudly. The manager shows up and tells the twelve-top they need to move. They refuse and start to call him names, like children.

Customer #1: “You need to shut the f*** up and do as you’re told!”

The manager gives her a look like, “Oh, really?”

Manager: “That’s it. You need to leave.”

The table erupts as they start yelling, but nobody gets up. The manager takes me aside.

Manager: “Do not serve them. Let them sit. If they don’t leave, we’ll call the police.”

The fifteen-top finds another home. The hostess sits the empty twelve-top with another group, so I put my energy into them. [Customer #1] waves at me as I pass by but I don’t stop.

Customer #1: “God d*** it, she’s ignoring us!”

The manager goes by again.

Manager: “You have five minutes to leave or I’m calling the police.”

The fight between them was ugly and everyone was watching. [Customer #1] and another man with her got in the manager’s face, but he kept his cool. Finally, they gave up and exited the restaurant.

As they left, I couldn’t help but notice the little old woman with them, probably [Customer #1]’s mother. She was all dressed up with her hair done up, and she was probably starving. She hadn’t spoken a word during the chaos, and her entire day was ruined because of her daughter’s selfish actions. I just don’t understand people sometimes.

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Not Acting Cool

, , , , , | Right | July 4, 2021

For the Fourth of July, our manager puts those “Thank a Veteran” Cokes in an iced-down chest in front of the registers.

I’m working the night after the Fourth when a customer decides she doesn’t want the three battery-operated string lights in her hands. She dumps them in the coolers, which are now full of water.

I hurry over so the items don’t get ruined in the water.

Me: “Ma’am, do you mind handing me those items so I can put them back where they belong?”

Customer: “You don’t have to be rude about it. I have a sinus infection!”

I finished ringing up her purchase in silence, confused as to how a sinus infection causes someone to knowingly ruin product.

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Mac And Please

, , , , , , | Right | July 4, 2021

I work at a well-known but smaller size retail store. This morning, three girls came in and bought the stuff to make homemade macaroni and cheese from scratch.

In conversation, I told them that’s the one thing I just can’t seem to make.

A couple of hours, later they came back in with a big plate of BBQ and a huge side of mac and cheese. They said it was because I was so nice and that the store was open on the fourth of July.

That absolutely made working today worth it.

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