Thankful For Gender Stereotypes

, , , , , , | Right | November 22, 2017

(It’s just before Thanksgiving and I stop by to pick up my pre-ordered 12-pound turkey. This brand comes in a box, with handles on each side. The guy behind the counter looks up my order, then looks over the counter.)

Cashier: “Where’s your cart?”

Me: “This is all I’m buying, so I don’t need a cart.”

(He looks dubiously at my 5’4″, 125-pound frame.)

Cashier: “Are you sure? It’s pretty heavy.”

Me: “Since I regularly lift more than this in the gym, yes, I’m sure I can carry it.”

Cashier: “I really think you should get a cart!”

(Quashing my frustration, I assured him that it would be fine. He shook his head and finally brought out my turkey. It just burns me that no one would have thought twice about me carrying a 15- to 20-pound toddler, but a mere 12-pound turkey is “too much.”)

A Hug For Thanksgiving

, , , , , , | Hopeless | November 21, 2017

(I am shopping in a grocery store with my two-year-old son. My son is VERY shy. It has been a tough few years; my son’s father had an accident and couldn’t work. We went from a two-income family of three to a one-income family of four. All of our savings has been spent in the last two years, and I am calculating my overtime pay to try and serve Thanksgiving supper. We pick out a whole chicken to roast, a bag of discount potatoes, and a few apples. We get into line. My son runs into stranger in front of us, and wraps himself around the stranger’s legs.)

Son: “You look so nice; I just want to hug you.”

Stranger: “Why, thank you, young man!”

Me: “Oh, my. He is usually so shy. I am sorry for the intrusion.”

(We chat about small things: football, weather… Our financial situation never comes up.)

Stranger: “Is this Thanksgiving supper?”

Me: “Yes, sir. Gonna make roast chicken and potatoes for the family.”

Stranger: *to cashier he has just approached* “I would like to buy her groceries; please add them to my bill.”

(To the unnamed angel who helped us: I was able to keep our lights on due to your kindness. It was only $25, but that made the difference in having heat and no dinner, or dinner and no heat. You, sir, restored my faith in humanity.)

Sweeter Than The Candy

, , , , , | Friendly | November 19, 2017

(It’s Halloween and I’ve just answered the door to find a young child, no more than four, dressed in white with blood splatters and with their face painted white. The child’s mum is dressed up with some scary makeup, and the dad has painted bones down his arm like a skeleton. Halloween has only become a celebration in recent years in Australia, so this is a pretty impressive effort.)

Me: *squatting down to the kid’s level* “Hey there! Aw, look at you!”

Kid: *with hand actions* “RAWR.”

Me: “Woah, scary!”

Kid: *looking really worried* “I’m not really scary!”

Me: “Oh, good! Would you like some candy?”

Kid: “Yes, please.”

Me: “You can take extra, too.”


(This little kid made my day! They were so cute!)

Word To The Pennywise On Relationships

, , , , , | Friendly | November 17, 2017

(My neighbor likes to do couple-themed costumes with his boyfriend every year for Halloween. Last year they went as Batman and the Joker. Later, during the spring, they went through a rough breakup. This Halloween, I stop by his house as I always do while taking my younger sister trick-or-treating and see him passing out candy with his new boyfriend. He’s wearing the same Batman costume as last year, while his boyfriend is dressed as Bill Skarsgård’s version of Pennywise.)

Me: “So, Batman, why are you suddenly hanging out with Pennywise?”

Neighbor: *in a deep voice* “I’m trying to make the Joker jealous.”

Behaving Fairly Fairy

, , , , , , , | Romantic | November 17, 2017

Some friends and I are at a party over Halloween weekend. One of them is dressed as the Good Fairy and carries a wand which is handmade of pretty thick wood, painted, with a star and glitter. She’s also a bit of a goody two-shoes, and every time someone swears she’ll tap them on the head with her wand and say, “The Good Fairy doesn’t like that!”

As the night goes on, people get progressively drunker, and a guy none of us knows has been bugging her for a while. We’re trying to get away from him when he grabs her breasts from behind. She swings around and smacks him in the face with the wand so hard she breaks it in half. “THE GOOD FAIRY DOESN’T LIKE THAT!”

He got kicked out.

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