Scariest Halloween Costume Turns Out To Be Middle-Aged Ladies Out On The Prowl For Conversations

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 8, 2018

It’s Halloween and I’m walking home from work through a part of town known for its fancy stores.

I’m dressed in surgical scrubs and running shoes, with my work ID on a lanyard around my neck the way hospital employees wear theirs, and sprayed with fake blood.

A random woman, well-dressed and in her forties, stops me, and asks if I’m a surgeon. I tell her no. She then starts to talk to me about her medical problems.

Lady, seriously?

Halloween Horror, As Teenage Treat Turns Into Trick

, , , , , | Friendly | November 6, 2018

(This happens while I am outside handing out candy to kids coming around for trick or treating. A thirteen year old kid I know walks up to me with a couple of friends. I give three pieces of candy each to her and her friends.)

Me: “Have a happy Halloween; be safe.”

Kid: *starts walking away happily* “We will; don’t worry.”

(She gets to the end of my driveway and turns around a corner to where I can’t see her. I think nothing of it, but pretty soon I see someone who looks nearly identical to the kid from before, but wearing fewer parts of the costume she had on.)

Me: “[Kid], I know it’s you; you aren’t getting more candy.”

(She looked at me for a moment and, realizing that she’d been caught, lunged at my cauldron of candy, grabbing a handful of it before running off to her friends, who all ran off, as well, giggling, thinking they’d won. But I was still the one who had her parents right there next to me, who saw the entire thing go down.)

Customers That Make You Want To Scream

, , , , | Right | October 31, 2018

(I’m a tour guide at a historic house during the day, haunted house at night during Halloween season. I’ve just finished my first tour of the night and am sitting in the guide station when a group comes in.)

Guest: “So, we thought our tour was at 8:30, but it was actually 8:05. What can we do?”

Dispatch: “We’re all booked for tonight, so you can either get caught up to your tour, or you can reschedule for another night.”

Guest: “We’ll get caught up.”

Dispatch: “[My Name], could you catch them up? They’re on [Coworker]’s tour.”

Me: “Of course! Right this way, please.”

(I lead them down a hallway. We have next to no lighting in here, and I’m trying to move quickly and quietly, as there are tours in every room around us. Suddenly, I hear a scream, followed by the rest of the guests I’m escorting screaming. It happens twice more before I realize what’s happening: one of the guests, a man in probably his mid-20s, is screaming randomly to frighten his friends. It’s incredibly disruptive and distracting.)

Me: “Sir, please do not scream like that.”

Guest: “I thought this was supposed to be scary!”

Me: “It’s our job to scare you. Please don’t do that for us.”

(He doesn’t do it again… for a few minutes. Right as we’re heading up the stairs to meet my coworker, he screams again, setting off his friends again.)

Me: “Sir, I need you to stop doing that.”

(I informed my coworker about the new guests I’d brought him and headed back down to the guide station, where I immediately informed the dispatchers about the man’s behavior. When I asked my coworker about it later, my coworker told me that the group was awful, but that there was another employee trailing after the tour, and that helped. According to dispatch, they also later tried to get a refund because they’d missed so much of the tour, even though they still went on it and it was their own fault. They did not get a refund.)

Scared Spitless

, , , , , , | Right | October 31, 2018

(While working the photo lab area on Halloween, I decide to wear a homemade mask I made four years ago. The mask is of the scary face, bulging bloodshot eyes, and very long nose of a character from a popular RPG series. While a fun mask to wear — customers get a kick out of it — how I made it has the unfortunate side effect of limiting my vision and making it a little hard to breathe. Occasionally I take it off and leave it on the counter. On one such occasion, while I’m helping one customer, another decides to put it on and take a selfie, thinking it might be a cool, store-bought mask. While I probably wouldn’t have minded if they had asked, I decide to have little fun at her expense.)

Me: “Do you realize how much saliva I put into that thing?”

Customer: “EW!” *throws mask across the counter*

(And that, my friends, is why you don’t try every mask you see.)

Alice’s Misadventures In Customer Service

, , , , , , | Right | October 31, 2018

(I work at an upscale restaurant during college, which serves faculty of the university and families of students and the community. Most days, servers are required to wear a uniform consisting of the restaurant colors. However, on Halloween, we are encouraged to dress up as long as it doesn’t get in the way of our serving abilities because, in the end, we are college students and a lot of us go straight from work to class or parties once cleanup is done. We also decorate the restaurant with Halloween decorations just for the 31st. On this particular Halloween, I am the only one serving the breakfast shift and I am wearing my “Alice in Wonderland” dress with Cheshire Cat stockings as I am serving. The outfit itself is more conservative than most costumes for adults because I hand-made it. Most of the customers have given compliments or quotes from “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” and “Through The Looking Glass.”)

Me: *after bringing the biscuits and butter we are required to give all guests* “Happy Halloween! Welcome to [Restaurant]. Can I get you started with some coffee or soda?”

Customer #1: *looking me up and down, disgusted* “I demand to speak to the manager! I cannot believe he allows his servers to dress as whores! Whose idea was it to change the uniforms to this?”

Me: “Well, for Halloween, we are allo—”

Customer #1: “Can you believe this? You look like a slut!”

Me: “Sir—”

Customer #1: “I cannot believe my faculty dollars are going to these outfits!” *turns to his colleague, who looks utterly horrified at his colleague’s behavior* “Doesn’t she look like a slut?”

Customer #2: “[Customer #1], it’s Halloween—”

Customer #1: “Where is your manager?!”

(My manager has heard the commotion and come over. He is wearing his normal uniform.)

Manager: “I am the manager. How can I help?”

Customer #1: “Look at this girl! How could you let her wear such an outfit? Why did the uniforms change? I demand my meal be comped because I cannot focus on eating with such a whorish server.”

(Normally, my manager would offer for a different server to help the patron, but because I am the only one on shift and he cannot serve because he has to man the front, these patrons are stuck with me.)

Manager: “I am sorry you do not like [My Name]’s outfit, but it meets all the requirements for our costume regulations, so I do not understand the problem.”

Customer #1: “Her uniform makes her look like a slut!”

Manager: “It is not her uniform; it is a Halloween costume.”

Customer #1: “I cannot believe you let them change the uniforms to these slutty dresses.”

Manager: “That’s… because it is a costume.”

Customer #1: “I am never coming here again. Think of all the faculty members who will get the wrong thoughts, seeing girls dressed like that! This restaurant is going to become a strip club!”

Manager: “Her dress is a conservative cost—”

(The customer grabs the bows of my apron and yanks, tearing a button hole and causing me to almost fall. He continues to pull on the strings of my apron as he yells.)

Customer #1: “HOW DARE YOU LET THIS WOMAN LOOK LIKE THIS?! IT’S NOT EVEN PRACTICAL! LOOK HOW EASILY THE APRON TEARS!”

(My manager doesn’t respond because he is trying to get the man to release my clothing. At this point, [Customer #2] has had enough of his tablemate.)

Customer #2: “That is because it is Halloween, you a**hole! She is dressed as Alice! From Lewis Carroll! If you just listened, you would have heard everyone say it is Halloween!”

Customer #1: *lets go of my apron and looks at me*

Manager: “Sir, I will have to ask you to leave. I will not have anyone who endangers my staff.”

Customer #1: *as he leaves* “I didn’t know it was Halloween! Plus, how was I supposed to know she was Alice? Her hair isn’t even blond!”

(He tried to report us later to the dean of students — who isn’t even tied to the restaurant itself — saying that the manager degrades his female work staff by making them wear dresses. At least his friend was okay.)

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