The Most Important Meal For Those Doing The Most Important Job

, , , , | Hopeless | July 2, 2018

(I am in the supermarket checkout lane, the fourth customer in line. Third in line is an ambulance crew, clearly getting food and beverages for their breakfast and lunch. Suddenly, their radio crackles:)

Radio: *loud enough for everyone close to hear* “Ambulance [number], car accident at [address], two vehicles involved, several injured. Ambulance [other number] is on its way, as well, to assist.”

(One of the ambulance crew starts to leave, to go get the car, while the other stays back a few seconds to speak to the cashier:)

Ambulance Crew #1: “D***, guess another day without breakfast.” *now to the cashier* “Can we leave our things with you so someone puts them back? We can’t wait until it’s our turn.”

First Person in Line: “Just cancel my order and ring them through first.”

Cashier: “Won’t work. I need the manager, and he’ll take a couple minutes to get here. You can just leave it on the conveyor belt; I’ll put it away.”

(The second crew member thanks the cashier, and starts to leave.)

First Person in Line: “All right, just ring it through with my things; I’ll pay for it.”

(The cashier quickly asked the customer to confirm, and as she did the cashier rang everything through in less than 15 seconds, and gave it to the second crew-member who immediately walked towards the door. As soon as he got outside, the ambulance drove up, so no time was wasted with the driver waiting for the other crew-member to arrive. In the end, it wasn’t that big of a deal, monetary wise. Couldn’t have been more than 10 or 15€ total. Still, it was great to see the customer not even thinking twice about paying for the groceries, just to make sure the ambulance crew would have something to eat before trying to save lives.)

 

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Unfiltered Story #109163

, | Unfiltered | April 19, 2018

I work as a client acquisition representative for an international energy company. I was introducing our discount campaign, according to the manual.

Customer (clearly joking and upset): I am sorry to interrupt, but I am tired of your constant phone calls. I use my cell phone as a vibrator and you have called me so many times today that it ran out of battery

Me: Ma’am, I am sorry for interrupting yet again, but you should be glad that we called you so much; if you sign up with us you will be charging your vibrator and spending less money for it.

Customer: *hangs up*

Totally Estúpido! Part 3

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 1, 2018

(For some reason, tourists, especially American tourists, assume Portuguese people can speak Spanish, and consider it acceptable to approach someone and speak to them in Spanish — in horrible Spanish, I must say. Contrary to their beliefs, we Portuguese despise being spoken to in Spanish, as it is not our language. It is a sunny summer day. I am walking through Lisbon, and I have already been spoken to in Spanish four times. This fifth time, I have had enough. Beside Portuguese, I am also fluent in German.)

Stranger: *in Spanish* “Hello. Can you tell me how to get to Rossio?”

Me: *in English, hoping they’d catch the clue* “Hello. I am sorry. I couldn’t understand you; could you repeat yourself, please?”

Stranger: *in Spanish, once again* “Can you tell me how to get to Rossio?”

Me: *in German* “Ah, of course, Rossio. You just go straight ahead, turn left at the next…”

Stranger: *interrupting me, in English this time* “I don’t speak that gibberish. Can’t you speak in a language I understand?”

Me: *in English, before walking away* “And I don’t speak Spanish. If you’re in Portugal and need something, speak Portuguese or English!”

Related:
Totally Estupido, Part 2
Totally Estupido

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Should Have Just Thrown In The Towel

, , , | Friendly | December 29, 2017

(I am 24 and a student not living with my parents. It is Christmas time and my mother asks me to go to the laundry shop to a pick a Christmas tablecloth she had dropped there the week before. I have always looked younger than my age.)

Me: “I’m here to pick up this.” *gives the ticket*

Worker: “Hmm. I can’t find it. Maybe the paper fell. You don’t know what the tablecloth looks like, do you?”

Me: “No. It was my mother that dropped it off last week; she just gave me the paper.”

Another Customer: “This youth nowadays! What a lack of respect! What are you? Fourteen? You should know what you have at home! You’re only mooching from your parents! Only want to have fun!”

Me: *with a deadpan face* “I’m actually 24, and I don’t live with my parents. My mother asked me a favour and I did it for her.”

(By then the worker had found the tablecloth with the missing paper, giving it to me and muttering an apology, so I walked out while the other customer stared with an open-mouth. The fun fact: my mother also didn’t remember which tablecloth it was when I told the story. The worker also apologized to my mother when she went there again.)

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Hunger Is Binary

, , | Friendly | December 18, 2017

(I am sitting on the train waiting for it to depart, when a man I’ve never seen before boards.)

Stranger: “Hello, good morning. How are you doing?”

Me: “Good morning. I am doing fine, thank you. How about yourself?”

Stranger: “Ah, not so good. I haven’t eaten in almost a day. Would you perhaps have a Euro or two to spare?”

Me: “Unfortunately I do not. However, if you’d like I have a sandwich you could have.”

Stranger: “What kind of sandwich?”

Me: “A yes or no sandwich. Yes for hungry, no for not hungry.”

(He just gave me a stupid look for a few seconds until going away to ask the next person if they had money for him. Unfortunately, she had heard the exchange and was too busy laughing.)

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