Maybe If It Was A Jigglypuff  

, , , , , | Working | September 5, 2019

(This story happens to two friends of mine around ten years ago. One of them is a cashier at a video game store; the other has arrived at that same store to pre-order a copy of Pokémon Platinum. The cashier friend’s supervisor is there alongside them. The pick-up goes smoothly, until…)

Friend #1: “As you are pre-ordering a copy, you get a figure as a gift!”

Friend #2: “Really?”

Supervisor: “And it’s made of gelatin!”

(Both friends are confused after those words.)

Both Friends: “Of gelatin?”

(The supervisor looks for a pamphlet supporting what she said.)

Supervisor: “Yes! It says so right here. Look!”

(They look at the pamphlet that says that, with a pre-order, you get a Giratina figure.)

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina is the Pokémon’s name.”

Supervisor: “Huh?”

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina. It’s not made of gelatin.”

Supervisor: “You don’t say! I was telling everyone that we were giving away gelatin figures!”

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The Atmosphere Suddenly Got Acidic

, , , , | Learning | September 2, 2019

(I work in a cancer research facility. For some background to the story, we are not a learning center, but a fully-functioning research building. We do have students, but they are at least in the third or fourth year of college, and some are even working on their thesis. We have a rule: if you have to use the equipment and do not know how, DO NOT touch it and ask for help. This rule is in place to protect the insanely expensive equipment, such as high-resolution microscopes, centrifuges, and cytometers, because if something happens to them, the hourly fee for a qualified technician runs in the hundreds of dollars. This rule applies to every machine, not only the expensive ones.)

Student: “Hi. I need to measure the pH of this solution.”

Me: “No problem. Here is the pH meter to do that. Do you know how to use it?”

Student: “This one is different than the model I know.”

(All pH meters work the same. You know how to use one, you know them all. pH meters have a crystal electrode that you introduce in the solution, and the machine gives you the pH measure automatically. However, you have to clean the electrode before using it to wash away the conservation solution — KCl — and to not contaminate your own solution with it.  I take her answer as she doesn’t know where the Off/On button is, so I turn it on for her and resume my work. The student takes the electrode, pulls it out of the conservation solution, and plunges it into her solution, which is the same color and texture of blue ink.)

Me: “Did you wash the electrode?”

Student: *confused* “Was I supposed to do that?”

Me: “Well… yes. Because if not, you just cross-contaminated your solution. Unless you know for a fact that your solution contains potassium chloride.”

Student: *alarmed* “Oh, no!”

(She proceeds to take the electrode out of her blue solution and plunge it again into the conservation solution, which turns blue immediately and now will have to be disposed of and replaced. I look at her, speechless. Suddenly realizing what she just did, she says:)

Student: “Oh, oh, what a mess I have made! Oh, my! I will have to do the solution again! I will be back to measure the pH later!”

(And without another word, she ran out of the door. Obviously, I had to clean up the pH meter and the counter and replace the conservation solution for a new one. She has not come back yet to measure the pH of her solution.)

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Unfiltered Story #158365

, | Unfiltered | July 21, 2019

I’m an intern at a hotel and I’m working the front desk when this family comes to check out.

Me : (in spanish) Hello ! My name is [name], how can I help you today ?

Guest : (in english) Um… do you speak english ?

Me : (in english) Sorry, yes I do. How may I help you ?

Guest : We’re leaving. (puts his room key on the counter)

I check everything’s OK in the system and do the checkout

Me : How was your stay ?

Guest : Good.

Me : (still in english) Ok so everything’s accounted for, would you like a receipt ?

Guest : (in spanish) I don’t speak spanish.

Me : (shocked but in english) Um alright. Have nice trip, we hope you stay with us again. Bye !

Unfiltered Story #156855

, | Unfiltered | July 5, 2019

I am working at the reception when a client comes up to me holding two room keys.

Customer 1 : Hi, one of these keys is to my room and the other is my friend’s room key. They’re not working could you tell me which is which ?

Me : Sure let me just check that for you. (scans the keys) Ok, well it turns out these are both for the same room. If you give me the name on the reservation I could look up the room numbers and make you a new key.

Customer 1 : Alright. The name is [name] or it could be under [name].

I search the system and find a reservation for three rooms. Only one is checked in.

Me : Sir, I’ve found the reservation and you’ve booked three rooms. One of your friend’s has already checked in and those are his room keys. It would appear that you haven’t checked in yet. We can do that now. Then I’ll give you your room key for whichever of the two rooms you prefer.

Customer 1 : Which one is my room ?

Me : Well rooms 22 and 23 are still available. Which one do you want ?

Customer 1 : Just pick my room for me.

We do the check-in.

Me : Alright so your room will be room 22. Down that hall and to the right.

Customer 1 : So my room number is 22.

Me : Yes. Down that hall and to your right.

He starts to leave then stops for a second and seems to think hard before coming back.

Customer 1 : What was my room number again ?

Me: Your room number was 22, sir. Down the hall and to your right. (points him in the right direction)

He walks off and a few minutes later a seemingly lost client walks up to me.

Lost client : Where is the reception ?

I shoot a brief incredulous glance at my surroundings and the big sign above my head that reads ‘RECEPTION’ before answering.

Me : Um…here sir.

Lost client : (visibly relieved) Oh good, that’s convenient !

He then walks AROUND the desk to talk to me and plops a heavy looking suitcase down on the counter.

Lost client : Could you keep that for me ? (and starts to walk off)

I catch up to him and lead him to our luggage room. It is located behind a locked door in a small corridor. The corridor has a plain white door on each side that read ‘DO NOT ENTER. EMPLOYEES ONLY’ and straight ahead a green door with a window that leads to the rooms. After having deposited his luggage….

Lost client : (turns around to walk straight through the other white door, disregarding the ‘DO NOT ENTER SIGN’) Is my room this way ?

Me : No sir ! That’s for employees only ! The rooms are through this green door right here.

Lost client : Ohh, right.

At that moment Customer 1 walks right out the door with his room key. Seeing me he starts to complain loudly.

Customer 1 : This room key doesn’t work either ! It won’t open the door to my room, room number 23 !

Me : Um…sir ? That’s because your room number is 22 not 23.

Lost client : (intervenes) Yeah man, 23’s my room ! Come on let’s go.

They both walk off. It turns out that they were both friends and in the same party.

PIN-Headed, Part 7

, , , , | Right | April 30, 2019

(I work for a big bank. When a new customer opens an account, they are required to set a numeric password in order to access our online service safely. I get cases like this one many times a day.)

Me: “All right, Mr. [Customer], in order to finish the process, you are now required to set a PIN consisting of six numbers. That PIN is strictly personal — we’ll set it via a confidential voice system — so don’t say it out loud. Also, for security reasons, the numbers must not match those of your birth date or DNI.” *this is a Spanish official identification document* “Just tell me when you are ready and I’ll transfer you to our automated system in order to set it.”

Customer: “Oh… Err… Can it contain letters?”

Me: “No, only six numbers, sir.”

Customer: “A maximum of six numbers?”

Me: “Six numbers exactly, please.”

Customer: “Can it be four, so it matches my card PIN? That way I only have to remember one.”

Me: “I’m afraid it has to be exactly six non-consecutive numbers, sir. Also, we don’t recommend using the same password for different services, as separate PINs are safer.”

Customer: *groans* “Oh, boy, how am I supposed to come up with six numbers out of the blue like that?”

Me: *thinking of possible random combinations of numbers and wondering what’s so hard about it* “Sir, you can choose any combination you want as long as they are not consecutive and do not match personal data. For example, you can use a date that means something special for you, using only two digits for the year. Just don’t use your birthday, for security reasons.”

Customer: *after some more time thinking and groaning* “Okay, I got it.” *proceeds to spit the numbers so fast I can’t say a word*

Me: “Sir, you are not supposed to say them out loud. Also, those are the first six numbers of your ID, so they can’t be used.”

(The customer spends a couple of minutes mumbling numbers to himself and groaning as if we had asked him to solve an advanced mathematical equation, then confirms he’s ready.)

Me: “All right, sir, let me transfer you to the automated voice system. You only have to press the numbers or say them out loud one by one without articles, and then the call will return to me.”

(I transfer him and come back after some seconds. The PIN has not been set.)

Me: “Sir, I think there might have been a problem.”

Customer: “Your system is useless! I said the numbers and it didn’t understand me! I went like, twelve…”

Me: “Let me stop you there, sir. Remember, the numbers are confidential. The problem is that you must say them one by one. Let’s try again.”

(I transfer him again, come back and, lo and behold, something went wrong again.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I’m sick of this system! It fails every time! I’m saying—“ *before I can stop him* “—onetwothreefourfivesix, and it says invalid PIN!”

Me: “Sir, they have to be non-consecutive.” *bangs head against desk*

PIN-Headed, Part 6
PIN-Headed, Part 5
PIN-Headed, Part 4

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