I am working at my register, serving a young woman who is trying to handle a fussy toddler. She looks tired, underweight, pale, and just… a little bit broken. This poor woman is going through the wringer. Sadly, I have to give her some bad news.

Me: “I’m sorry, but your debit card has been declined.”

She looks at me with eyes that I can tell are on the verge of crying, but she swallows this bad news and shakes it off like it’s a muscle memory.

Customer: “I’m sorry, I thought I might have been paid by now. My boss isn’t always on time. I only have £4.77 on me in cash. What can I get for the baby for that?”

She takes out her cash, all low-value coins, and places it respectfully on the counter. I double-check the amount of the items she is buying, all cheap store-brand items, and all essentials. It comes to just over £20.

Suddenly, without even thinking about it myself, I apply the employee discount and then tap my smartwatch to pay for the items.

Customer: *Eyes going wide* “Wait, what? What did you do?”

Me: “Today, it’s on me. Take your little one home to get fed, and then shout at your boss for not paying you on time.”

Customer: *Sliding the coins at me* “No… No, I can’t. Please tell me what I owe, and I’ll come back—”

Me: *Sliding the coins back* “I wouldn’t have done it if I couldn’t manage it. Seriously, please, it’s fine. I hope the rest of your day goes better!”

The customer finally breaks. The tears start running down her face and keep on coming. Her toddler has noticed and is confused, so she starts crying, too.

Customer: “It’s… it’s just… been so long… and I…”

The register is between the customer and me, so it’s a bit awkward, but I reach forward and give her a hug. She hugs back tightly.

Me: “It’s okay. You’ll be okay. I think you need to calm your little one down a bit.”

The customer wipes her face and then smiles at her crying toddler, picking her up and calming her down as I bag her items for her (not something we usually do for customers). She thanks me again, and she’s on her way.

The next customer in line approaches me.

Next Customer: “You know that was a scam, right? I admit she was a good actress, and the crying kid was a nice touch, but she scammed free stuff out of you.”

Me: “So what?”

The next customer is suddenly surprised. He wasn’t expecting me to not be so naïve.

Me: “If she’s a scammer, well then, she got £18 from me that I can afford to lose. If she hadn’t been a scammer and I had done nothing, then I would be losing sleep thinking about it, and lack of sleep is something that I cannot afford. So, yeah… so what? Why do you have to be so negative?”

Next Customer: “I was just saying—”

Me: “Well, next time, don’t.”

I scanned his items silently and he left red-faced: angry or embarrassed, I didn’t care.

The first customer and her toddler were back a few days later. She had come back the day before looking for me, but I was off that day. She wanted to try to pay me back and say thank you again! Of course, I refused and told her to always find me when she’s checking out in the future and I’d see if I couldn’t wrangle up some discounts for her. 

Returning the money… pretty sure that’s not something a scammer would do…

I had plans to go away on vacation to the Caribbean for five nights with a long-time friend. It was not all-inclusive, so we would be responsible for paying for food, drinks, and any activities.

We were discussing our plans.

Friend: “How much are you bringing in cash?”

Me: “I’m bringing $300 cash, plus my debit and credit cards.”

Friend: “I’m going to bring $300 cash, too, but I’m not bringing any cards. I’m on a budget, and $300 is my limit.”

Me: “That only comes to around $60 per day. This isn’t one of the cheaper Caribbean islands, so food and drink alone won’t leave you with much left over. You need to factor in cabs, incidentals, or any activities we may decide to do. And you never know if an emergency will come up where you will need money.”

Friend: “That’s why I have you!”

And she started to laugh. That pissed me off to no end.

Me: “We are both adults who are responsible for our own selves. It would be one thing if you lost your purse and needed money; I’d float you the money before you even had time to ask. But to purposely use me as your backup ATM is not going to work. Not that I know what you’re up to, I’m not going along with it. If you run out of money, you will just be a**ed out and hungry. You need to bring your cards with you for your own good.”

Friend: “You don’t have to be so harsh!” *Pauses* “Fine. I’ll bring some extra money, but I’m not bringing cards.”

Me: “Do what you want, but if there’s an emergency, you are on your own.”

I posted about this online to vent my frustration, and I got a lot of feedback and suggestions that truly did save the vacation. I’ll hit the highlights.

Some commenters said that the hotel would want a credit card on file from the person who made the reservation. [Friend] was the one who booked the vacation; she put the whole thing on her credit card because she wanted the card “points”. I told her that because the reservation was booked through a third-party app, the hotel would need the original card used to make the reservation, so she was on the hook to bring her credit card. I have no idea if that was true or not, but it sounded good based on what everyone commented! She was not happy that her own greed got her, but at least she brought a credit card.

Others mentioned that [Friend] was going to sulk. And sulk she did. When we got to the airport:

Me: “I’m not going to spend this vacation in your misery. We should hash this out right now.”

Friend: “Your tone is very rude! It’s like you’re accusing me of trying to mooch off of you!”

She was.

Me: “Put yourself in my shoes. You’re deliberately being irresponsible, and you told me to my face that I’m your backup plan and laughed about it. It made me feel used and put-upon.”

Friend: “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

Me: “Thank you. I’m sorry I was so harsh.”

Some commenters said [Friend] would try to be content with cutting corners. Cabs were prohibitively expensive on the island, and they didn’t take credit cards. So, [Friend] looked up how to take the local buses. I was fine with that until we waited forty-five minutes in the heat for a bus to take us to the mall. (Island time…) Yup, we only took cabs after that.

A few mentioned that [Friend] would probably go through her cash in the first two days. They were close: it took two and a half days. There were several markets with local jewelry and crafts that she absolutely loved and they only took… cash. So, she ran through her money rather quickly. She only brought her credit card, not her debit card. So, as someone suggested, I made her Zelle me right then and there the money I took out of the ATM for her. She paid for the exchange and ATM fees.

[Friend] “tried it” with the meals; she ordered something big and wanted to “split” the bill evenly. Normally, I would not nitpick about that, but I just didn’t want her to feel like she’d still gotten one over on me in any way. Since she used her credit card for meals (to save the cash she had), I paid what I owed in cash and she paid the rest (her higher portion) with her credit card.

Overall, we had a good time. We did a few excursions, had shopping and beach time, and relaxed. She even told me it was a good thing she’d brought her credit card. Things only got weird when I asked her to Zelle me right then and there at the ATM before I gave her the cash, but she knew why I was being so hard-nosed about it.

The board game café and pub I used to work at taught me many things, and one of those was to never mix business with pleasure without some strong guarantees.

The place’s owner had only me, his sister, and two close friends on call, with various flaky part-timers going through revolving doors for various reasons. Somehow, despite being placed fairly in the way of nightlife, and advertised in English, too, this was more than enough.

Then, one day, [Owner]’s sister found herself a girlfriend. Said girlfriend was at first merely invited to hang out at the cafè, but soon enough, she had started to invite friends over… and let them eat and drink for free.

The tales of [Sister]’s generosity soon spread to the extended friend circles, increasing the number of people occupying tables and eating or drinking for free little by little.

Things came to a head when, one Saturday night, the number of [Sister]’s friends and “acquaintances” was enough to occupy all but two seats, and the overall bill, by all accounts, should have been around 1,100€, instead of 0€. This was made worse by the fact that the people got hostile with patrons who did intend to pay to stay there and that [Sister] had forced me and a poor b*****d expecting an easy job to rush around to all the tables while being treated like dirt for not conjuring food out of our behinds.

The next week, the owner saw the expense ledger and demanded an explanation. Let’s just say it’s lucky he didn’t try to bite his sister’s head off.

As soon as [Sister] told her girlfriend that she was going to charge her for food and drink, she got ghosted.

In 2013, my second wife and I bought a house. The oil furnace died three months later. We needed a loan to get a heat pump installed. I applied with the credit union where I’d been a member since 1985. This credit union was based in another state.

I got an email stating that the loan officer wanted documents from the court attesting that I was paying my ex-wife’s support (alimony) regularly. I emailed back telling them that: A) the courts don’t get involved unless you fail to pay support, and B) the payments were set on autopay from the same credit union, so they could see the payments going out and being cashed monthly.

The assistant loan officer replied that the loan officer required “something from the court” or the loan could not be granted.

I tried to call, but the loan officer was never available. I spoke to the assistant several times, only to get the same answer: the loan officer was insisting on “something from the court”.

After several weeks they finally abandoned asking for a court document and moved on to requesting the financial statements of all the partners of the business in which I was a partner — fifteen different people —all for a $10,000 loan. We had plenty of equity in the house, I was employed, and my credit rating was over 800, but they still wanted the financial statements of all my partners.

I politely emailed them back and said that I was not going to ask my partners to provide financial statements, and I withdrew the loan application.

We went to a local bank that knew my business and had the loan in two days.

A kid comes up to the counter holding two very old games and a copy of a new one: “Madden NFL 23”.

Kid: “Can I get Madden NFL 23 if I exchange it with these old games?”

The games in question are worth pennies, so this isn’t happening.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t credit you the whole value of a new game based on these two older games.”

Kid: “But this is Madden NFL 10, and this is Madden NFL 13! They add up to twenty-three!”

Me: “That’s not how it works, kid. Sorry.”

Kid: *Walking away, dejected* “Stupid math.”