Servers are trained to serve a drink a certain way, but more often than not will listen to you if you want it differently. 

I just got reminded of this particular server. He was a mixologist who had come from a cocktail bar and was now working in a typical pub. Our interaction led me to believe this made him think highly of his own opinions.

I ordered a neat rum, one that’s quite popular, so I’ve had many times and with different things, but to me it tastes better by itself. 

He serves it with lime, and so it starts:

Me: “Sorry, I asked for this neat.”

Server: “It should be served with lime; it tastes better.”

Me: “I’ve tried it that way, and I prefer it neat. Can you do me another one?”

Server: “Just take the lime out if you don’t want it.”

Me: “You’ve rimmed the glass with it; it will still taste like lime.”

Server: “I can’t do you another one, they measure wastage, and they’ll dock me.”

Me: “Well, this isn’t the drink I ordered, so either way I’m not paying for it and the count is down.”

Server: “…”

Me: “Next time, if you think you know better, offer. Don’t just make it your way and force it on people.”

Yes, I did get another drink.

I work in a local village pub. One of the lads has just turned eighteen and walks into the place proudly, ready to order his first pint.

Customer: “I’ll have a beer!”

Me: “Congrats! Which one?”

Customer: “Which what?”

Me: “Which… beer?”

Customer: “Oh, there’s more than one?”

I’m in a pub with some friends. London, being the multicultural hub that it is, means that our group consists of people from all over the world.

Me: “I’m surprised we don’t have any more Americans in our group.”

Friend: “They’d only get lost anyway.”

Me: “Hey! I’m an American, and I get around pretty well.”

Friend: “An American once asked me where I was from. I told him Croatia, and he looked very puzzled and asked me, ‘Where’s Croatia?'”

Me: “I mean, that’s not too bad. Not everyone knows where every country is.”

Friend: “This was asked of me while we were in Dubrovnik, a city in Croatia.”

Me: “Oh… never mind, then.”

Half the town got hit with a power cut in the middle of the day. I was in the pub where my wife works when the power went out. The lights went off, but the large windows allowed enough light; it was still gloomy.

Everyone at the bar was told that, since the power was out, it was cash only and they’d write everything down to put in the system once power returned. 

A man walks in and orders a couple of drinks. He was told cash only and said that was fine. Got his drinks and held out his bankcard.

Wife: “Sorry, it’s cash only due to the power cut.”

Customer: “Well, I only have card.”

Wife: “Again, I’m sorry, but I did say at the start that there’s a power cut.”

Customer: “Just use your till.”

Wife: “It requires electricity, so we can’t.”

Customer: “Not my problem. So, what are you going to do?”

He didn’t get his drinks. He still didn’t seem to understand as he left. And unfortunately, he was the first of many, many customers who tried to use card despite being told cash only. 

When the power came back two hours later, everyone rushed to get served.

CORRECTION: A typo has been fixed.

Some of my friends played in a local pop group. Two of the female group members were in a relationship with each other. After one performance in a local pub, I was chatting with them as they packed up their gear. Another customer approached and kept trying to attract my attention.

Customer: “You know what these girls are, don’t you?”

Me: “Yes. [Girl #1] is a drummer and percussionist. [Girl #2] is a bass guitarist.” *Sigh.* “But I have come to terms with it over the years.”