Unfiltered Story #124793

, , , | Unfiltered | November 6, 2018

(I’m a girl in my early twenties, working Saturday night behind the bar and it’s been a relatively slow night with no drama. A customer around my age walks up to the bar and looks at me intensely. This guy has been to our pub several times before.)

Customer: “I feel like I’ve seen you before somewhere. You look so familiar.”
(I steady myself for the usual lines that we get every night.)
Me: “Probably here at the pub.”
Customer: “No, that’s not it.. OK, this is gonna sound weird but have you ever been arrested?”
(I’m starting to feel the warning signals)
Me: “No….”
Customer: “Well I’m a cop so I thought that might have been it. You see we made this arrest at a brothel a while back.”
Me: “Umm, alright… Well I’m afraid I wasn’t there..”
(He seems to suddenly realize what he’s implying.)
Customer: “Oh no I’m not saying I thought you worked there, there were just so many of their customers outside that we had to talk to so I though you might have been one of them.”
Me: “…Yeah, no…”
(There is a long awkward silence and I’m starting to move away, wanting to get far away from him)
Customer: “I really screwed this up didn’t I?”
Me: “Pretty much.”
(He walks away after this and I will avoid any future conversations with that guy.)

Unfiltered Story #122524

, , , | Unfiltered | October 7, 2018

(I am a bartender at a New York bar. However, I come from the Southwest. On a very slow night, I am chatting with a customer, only to realize that he is from the reservation next to my hometown. We talk for a couple minutes, and he went on his merry way. A new customer had arrived near the end of the interaction, and she looked at me with an expression I can only call disgust.)

Customer: “How could you allow that?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Why was he speaking foreign languages?! This is America. I bet he’s an illegal. If you come here, you should speak the language.”

(As she spoke, she got more and more incensed. Finally, she was nearly screaming at me. Finally, I was able to get a word in edgewise.)

Me: “Ma’am, that man was a Native American, and he was speaking Navajo.”

(With that, the customer left.)

Should Have Seen It In Black And White

, , , , | Right | September 26, 2018

(I am meeting a group of friends in a popular local pub that sells food. I am wearing a black top and black trousers; unfortunately, this is also the uniform of the employees.)

Customer: “These tables are terrible.”

(I nod my head in agreement.)

Customer: “Will you clear them, please?”

Me: “No, I won’t.”

Customer: “What do you mean, no?”

Me: “Which part of my top has the company logo on?”

(She couldn’t have been more embarrassed.)

When Life Gives You Lemons, You Make Mechanical Engineers

, , , , , | Right | August 3, 2018

(I am a female mechanical engineering student working part-time in a local Scottish pub. There are always a lot of questions when the old boys find out what I study.)

Customer: “Do you study here, then?”

Me: “Yes, I study mechanical engineering. It’s great!”

Customer: “I bet there’s loads of boys on the course; is that why you chose it?”

Me: *sharply* “Not at all. It’s an extremely interesting subject that covers the mechanics of everything — not just cars, if that was going to be your next question.”

(I am regularly asked if I know how an engine works. The customer goes quiet, and I continue cutting lemons for the drinks. Then, about ten minutes later…)

Customer: “I can tell you’re going to be a great engineer, by the way you’re cutting those lemons so methodically!”

(All I could do was say thanks, and leave ASAP so I didn’t burst out laughing at his genuine compliment.)

Can’t Vouch For The Existence Of Their Voucher… Or Their Brain

, , , , | Right | July 3, 2018

(Many of our overnight guests book online using a wide assortment of deals and vouchers. Some deals include a free meal or bottle of wine. This happens far too often.)

Customer: “I’d like to check out, please.”

Me: “Sure. Was everything all right during your stay?”

Customer: “Yes, we had a lovely time. The only gripe is that we didn’t get our free bottle of wine.”

Me: “Oh, dear, I am sorry. Did the person serving you not take your voucher?”

Customer: “Oh, no, we didn’t give her our voucher.”

Me: “I’m sorry… You didn’t present your voucher?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Did you ask the waitress for it when ordering your meal?”

Customer: “No! I already told you! I’ll be writing about this on [Hotel Review Website], I’m afraid! You can’t just not give people the free stuff they’re entitled to!”

Me: “So, just so I have this straight: you didn’t tell anyone that you were supposed to get a free bottle of wine, and you’re unhappy because you didn’t get a free bottle of wine?”

(Even now that I have written, “Please present all vouchers at the bar,” in large letters on the boards around the pub, it still happens. I fear for humanity sometimes!)

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