I am an assistant manager at a budget store beside the quiet end of the busiest street in town. One day, while I’m helping my cashier check people out during a rush, I hear a question that almost always leads to suffering.

Customer: “Are these really $1.75? Everything around it was $8, so it looks like a really good deal.”

I glance over to the other register and recognize the woman asking the question. She’s been a problem almost every time she comes in, and she’s holding a pair of Marc Ecko slides that I know aren’t on sale. I see where this is going. I’m still ringing up customers when the shoes get scanned. My cashier gives her the bad news.

Cashier: “They’re ringing up at $8. Do you still want them?”

Customer: “But that’s not what the label said where they were hanging; that should be $1.75.”

She goes from asking to telling real quick — always a GREAT sign that this is going to turn to s***. 

I’m called upon to check the price on the shelf. I finish ringing up my customer and have my cashier put the problem customer’s order on hold so she can ring people up until I get back.

I see the problem immediately.

Customer: “See?” *Points at the label* “They should be $1.75.”

Me: *Bewildered* “Ma’am, this label is for a different product entirely.”

These shoes were hanging from a peg. Any time we get new products, we either scrape off the old label from the peg or, if there aren’t too many old labels on it, we just put the new one on top. This section was redone earlier in the morning by the store manager.

Customer: “But the price says $1.75.”

Me: “Ma’am, this label is for dental floss. New labels were put up today; someone must have moved the label for these shoes.”

Customer: “So, how much are they, then?”

Me: “The Marc Eckos are $8.”

I suspect this woman saw the two-year-old floss label peeking out and removed the shoes’ label before checking out. This kind of thing has happened with her before, but we don’t have cameras, so we haven’t caught her yet.

Customer: “But that’s false advertising! You have to sell them for $1.75!”

Me: “No, ma’am, the product advertised by this label is a ninety-pack of little flossers, as is clearly written. These shoes cost $8.”

Customer: “So, can I have them for $1.75?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “How much are they, then?”

I can’t believe I have to repeat myself.

Me: “Those shoes are $8.”

Customer: “But that’s false advertising. The label says $1.75.”

I might be wasting time here, but she has more stuff in her basket than anyone who was in line. I figure that if I get stuck in an endless loop with this woman, nobody else will have to wait nearly as long as they would if she just finished checking out.

My answer doesn’t change.

Me: “That’s right, but the label also says these shoes are dental floss.”

Customer: “So…”

She pauses, perhaps realizing she won’t get anywhere with this.

Customer: “How much are the shoes?” 

Me: “The shoes are $8.”

Customer: “But that’s false advertising!”

Me: “It would be if this was a ninety-pack of flossers. These are shoes, ma’am. You can still buy them, but they cost $8.”

She gives up.

Customer: “Fine, I’ll take them.”

When I head back up, my cashier asks me what happened.

Me: “The label was for floss, not shoes. We can’t bring it down.”

I helped clear out the last few people in line, and I could hear the woman complaining to her son about our “false advertising” as they finished checking out.

I think they filed a complaint the next day, but I’d already reported the ordeal to my boss. Corporate was on my side, and I never saw that customer again.

In this story, I spoke of two instances that made me dislike a certain newspaper. That story gave one instance; here’s the other. I can’t remember the exact date, only that it happened in the 1980s.

This newspaper, like many others, had a bingo-style game. The newspaper at the start of the week would contain a unique playing card. In the newspaper, they would print a few numbers, and if you had them on your card, you would cross them off. If you were lucky enough to cross them all out, you would win the jackpot prize of £10,000.

One morning, Mum came into the room, chuckling away. It was the last day of the game, and she had crossed out all the numbers, bar one. We had a bit of a giggle, too, saying it was a shame, but ah, well, never mind. 

Later that day, this particular game hit the news. Thousands of people were ringing the claim line, as they had all won. The switchboard was swamped, and everyone wanted their £10,000. A spokesperson for the newspaper said that all the claimants would get a share of the prize. Ultimately, all the claimants received one pound.

What had happened was that the newspaper had printed the wrong number. The number that should have been printed?

The one we had on our card.

I did suggest to Mum that we contact the newspaper, as it was possible that they might still give us something, but Mum declined, saying we hadn’t won, so they wouldn’t. I always thought that was a bit defeatist, but I respected her wishes. So no, we didn’t get anything, not even our fifteen minutes of fame.  Ah, well; never mind.

This story happens in the late 1990s when video stores (and VCRs!) are still around.

During the midday slow period on a weekend, I get a phone call, but the voice is so distorted that I can’t understand a word the customer is saying. I tell him about the bad connection and suggest he come to the store, which he does. When he gets to the store, I find out the line wasn’t distorted; this customer has the most nasal voice imaginable. It makes the following conversation incredibly hard to understand on my end.

Customer: “Can I rent a VCR today but pay for it Wednesday?”

Me: “Anything you rent today has to be paid for today.”

Customer: “But I don’t have money today. I’ll have money Wednesday.”

Me: “We can rent it to you on Wednesday, then, no problem.”

Customer: “But I don’t want it Wednesday. I want it today.”

Me: “Then you need to pay for it today.”

Customer: *Speaking slowly* “But what if I rented it today but paid for it Wednesday?”

Me: “If you want to rent it today, you have to pay for it today.”

Customer: “But I don’t have money today.”

Me: “Then I can’t rent anything to you today.”

Customer: “Okay, but what if I rented a VCR today…” *pauses* “…but paid for it Wednesday?”

Me: “Then you can pay with a credit card today and pay the card off Wednesday.”

Customer: “I don’t want to pay with a card.”

Me: “Then you have to pay for it today.”

Customer: “But I don’t want to pay for it today. I want to pay for it Wednesday.”

Me: “Then you can rent it on Wednesday.”

Customer: “But… what if… I rented it today… but paid for it… Wednesday?”

Me: “Then you’d have to use a credit card that you could pay off Wednesday.”

Customer: “I don’t have a card!”

Me: “Then you can’t put the $50 deposit on a VCR we require anyway, so I couldn’t rent it to you.”

Customer: “I’m going to [Other Video Store across town].”

This is the abridged version of the conversation, too. It went on like this for several minutes.

I run an anime/geek store, and we are really lenient with pre-orders. We used to not require a deposit to make an order, and in case you needed more time to pick up an item, all you had to do was ask. We could also hold the items for as long as needed in our storage if you wanted to gather a lot of items so you could save on trips or shipping.

Back in February, Funko released a special edition figure of Naruto Hokage. This one in particular had a one-in-six Chase variant (a rare variant of a common figure, with a slightly different design) that reached a resale value of up to $130. But the way I do pre-orders is that if you order six of the same piece, you are guaranteed a Chase. But if you only order one, you still get a one-in-six chance of getting the Chase. I just mix them up in random boxes and do a public stream raffle on social media, so everyone knows who won the Chase, and I get good publicity.

A client ordered just one and left $5 as a deposit; the piece was $15. This particular client won the raffle (along with several other clients), but he wasn’t that interested in picking it up or paying for the rest of it. I sent him a message letting him know that he had won the special variant and had a week to pay for it or he would lose his pre-order. At first, he was angry.

Client: “I want the normal version, not this yellow thing!”

Me: “We can change it if you want, but this one is far more valuable.”

He stepped away from the phone for a moment and then came back.

Client: “I asked my son, and he wants it anyway. But I need more time to pay.”

We gave him one more week. Then he asked for another week. And another.

Then, we had to close the store for a time — you know, for 2020 reasons. We told the client that we had to close, but we could still schedule an appointment to give him his item or wait until the worst passed. He never answered.

Eventually, we were able to reopen the store with regulations in place. We sent him another message telling him we could save the figure for as long as needed in these strange times. He still didn’t answer the messages, but eventually, he arrived at the store and demanded his money back, citing how we were in the middle of what was going on (fair) and he couldn’t waste money on frivolous plastic (also fair).

Me: “Are you sure? This figure is selling for nearly $150, and you just have to pay the retail price: $10 more.” *Shows him the current selling price*

Client: “I’m sure you’ve just made up those numbers. I ordered the figure for my son, but he doesn’t deserve it. I just want — no, I demand my money back!”

Me: “Fine, I’ll give you your money back. Also, I’ll just put this figure out for sale.”

Client: “Whatever, just give me my money.”

I made a point to grab a sticky note (I use them to put prices on items to avoid damaging the box), write in big, black letters, “$90 bucks, last one”, and put it on the glass window that leads to the street. I could see the client watching while I did this.

While my employee was giving the client his five bucks back and giving him a receipt, a young man knocked on the door. Per [health crisis] practices, I gave him some cleaning goo, checked his temperature, and let him in. He immediately asked to buy the Naruto CHASE figure. The angry client’s eyes went wide open over his mask as I picked up the figure and guided the young man to the desk, where he handed me the bills one by one.

The angry man stood there shocked as the younger man gushed about how hard that figure was to get and how he was getting it for half the price other places were asking for — and in such perfect condition, too. I couldn’t have had a better reaction even if I’d paid him for it!

The young man completed his purchase and left as fast as he’d come in. The angry man looked at me, almost as if accusing me of taking advantage of him.

Me: “Well, you got your money back. I’m happy that you are happy. If you need anything else, please let me know, and stay safe out there.”

The man didn’t have much else to say and just left. It was kind of a small and silly thing for me to feel good about, but 2020 hit us so hard that any unexpected profit was cause for celebration, so we celebrated that good sale with some (instant) ramen, Naruto style.

I’m next in line at the recycling centre, waiting to redeem the little slip of paper listing how many cans and bottles I’ve dropped off in exchange for some grocery money. It’s a LOT of cans, and I’m in a good mood, so when I see that the clerk has a tip jar for their staff fund, I decide to pay it forward.

Clerk: “And your total is $18.40!”

I pass back the loose change.

Me: “Here, keep that as a tip.”

Clerk: “Oh, thank you!”

Customer: *From behind me* “Where’s my tip?”

I turn and see an older man glaring at me. Stunned and partly assuming it was a joke, I gesture to his deposit slip on the counter next to him.

Customer: “No, that’s not mine! It’s my friend’s; I’m doing this for him!”

Me: *Realizing that he isn’t joking* “Well, that’s… very nice of you?”

Customer: “He’s at home because he’s in a wheelchair and can’t come here to do it himself, so I’m dropping bottles off for him! Where’s my tip?”

I’m speechless. The customer stares at me expectantly.

Me: “Uh… that’s very big of you to help your friend, but I think that’s something to talk with him about…”

And with that, I quickly walked out before he could raise any more of a stink. Seriously, buddy, why ask a random stranger for their recycling money instead of asking your friend for a cut?