A few years ago, I (let’s say my name is Cara for this story) was staying with a dear friend when her parents came to visit for the weekend. That night, the three of us cracked open a box of wine, started playing cards, and talked and kept going until almost 0100. I finally staggered off to bed thinking: “Wow, I hope I have that kind of energy when I’m their age!”

The next morning at 0830 in the kitchen with a much-needed coffee, I told my friend:

Me: “Your parents are fantastic, but they have way more energy than I do.”

She burst out laughing and filled me in on the morning’s confessions:

At 0730, her dad came down for coffee and said:

Friend’s Dad: “I finally had to get some sleep last night; your mother and Cara were chatting up a storm, and I couldn’t stay awake for another second!”

At 0800, it was her mom who came in and reported:

Friend’s Mom: “I was completely exhausted, but your dad and Cara were having such an intense conversation I didn’t want to be rude and leave!”

It turns out that probably none of us wanted to still be awake at 0100! We had spent the entire night trapped in a polite game of chicken, each waiting for someone else to surrender first.

Two friends and I (all guys), hanging out one Saturday afternoon, realize that [Other Friend] has a glaring gap in his knowledge, and despite our best attempts to educate him on this gap, he is convinced we’re all tricking him as some kind of prank (which is fair, as we do that to each other a lot). 

So, we decide to drive somewhere to prove that we are right and he is wrong. As we’re driving, we realize we’re passing close to the home of another friend in the group, so I call him from the car (I’m in the passenger seat).

Me: “Hey, [Friend], I’m here with [Other Friend] and [Driver Friend], going to the aquarium. Wanna come?”

Friend: “Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wholesome as f***, but why did a bunch of grown-a** men decide to all go to the aquarium of all places?”

Me: “[Other Friend] doesn’t think seahorses are real.”

Friend: “…What?”

Me: “[Other Friend] doesn’t think seahorses are real. He thinks we’re all pranking him.”

[Other Friend] starts talking loudly from the back seat, so that [Friend] can hear:

Other Friend: “Sure, sea horses, magical sea creatures that look like horses with mermaid tails and just float upright and look majestic as f***. You’re telling me those are real?”

All Of Us: “Yes!”

Other Friend: “Whatever, at least I’m getting a free day out of it.”

Me: “We never said they were magical.”

Other Friend: “You said the males get pregnant.”

Driver Friend: “Technically the fertilized egg gets transplanted into a space on the male where—”

Other Friend: “—Yup. Pregnant. Pregnant male. Magic. Y’all might as well say they’re dragons.”

Me: “Aaaanywho, [Friend], we’re passing your off-ramp in about five minutes; we picking you up?”

Friend: “Just to see [Other Friend]’s face when he sees the seahorses for real? You bet your a** I’m in!”

So, we take a small detour, pick up [Friend], and proceed to the aquarium. When we tell the young woman why we’re there, she thinks it’s hilarious and adorable, and allows us to get in on a family ticket (instead of paying for four full-priced adults), and she tells [Other Friend] to prepare to have his mind blown.

That was the first indicator to him that maybe, just maaaaaybe, we weren’t pranking him after all. 

When he finally saw the seahorses for real, the noises coming out of him were enough to get the aquarium employee working that room to ask him to calm down. Then when that guy found out why [Other Friend] was making such noises, he also thought this was adorable and spent the next twenty minutes answering all of [Other Friend]’s questions about seahorses, male pregnancy, and everything.

In fact, the seahorse lesson was so engrossing that by the time we were done, about five kids and their respective parents had joined us to make an impromptu crowd of eager learners about ‘Hippocampus Hippocampus’ (the seahorse scientific name I learned that day!).

I was visiting a popular theme park during their food festival with a group of friends.

Another friend of mine, who wasn’t known by the group I was spending the day with, was also at the park that day trying some of the festival food and drinks. We had been texting, and he told me about the drink he was currently trying. I messaged him that I hadn’t tried it yet but wanted to. Coincidentally, we were passing by the area where he was, so he told me to take a sip as I walked by. Good idea! Except all of this was happening by text, and no one I was with knew what was going on.

The look on my friends’ faces as I walked up to a seemingly complete stranger, grabbed his drink, took a sip, handed it back, and casually rejoined them was priceless.

It was totally unintentional on my part, and I quickly explained. But I still get teased about the day I walked up and took a random person’s drink.

CONTENT WARNING: Mention of cancer and dark humor

My mom’s 50th high school reunion is coming up soon. She also recently got diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, it was caught early, and she had surgery to remove it and should just need radiation, no chemo. For various reasons, she’s been taking her time informing people and isn’t posting about it on social media or anything, so while several people know, plenty are still finding out.

She’s in good health and spirits and still looking forward to the reunion. One of her good friends didn’t plan to attend, though. She didn’t have any bad experiences or grudges or anything; she just thought it’d be a bit boring since it would largely have people just catching up about life and grandkids and jobs and all that. In her words, it’d basically be having the same conversation forty times. 

So, my mom calls her up to tell her the news about the diagnosis, and then:

Mom: “I’m pulling the cancer card.”

They talk about the reunion. To every objection:

Mom: “Cancer card!”

Then at one point:

Mom: “Cancer widow card!”

Friend: *Laughing.* “Dang it, now I can’t even pull out my widow card!”

Her friend laughed and took it all in good humor, and agreed to go to the reunion after all.

I’m having a drink with a group of friends. I’ve lived in the city for less than a year, so most of these friends are relatively new, and I’ve made some observations.

Me: “Hey [Sober Friend], I’ve noticed you never drink, and you’re always the designated driver. Do you ever drink, or are you tee total?”

Sober Friend: “I drink at home sometimes, but I don’t drink at bars… anymore.”

All the other friends are now laughing.

Other Friend: “Yeah, not since that time…”

Me: “What time?”

Other Friend: “He was soooo drunk that he was cut off. He was singing so loud and badly and wouldn’t stop, so the police were called.”

Me: “Oh yeah, that sounds pretty bad.”

Other Friend: “So the police arrested him and said he could sleep it off in a cell that night. As they were walking him out to their cruiser, he yelled out ‘shotgun!’ and tried to get to the passenger seat. The officers almost p***ed themselves laughing.”

Me: “Okay, that got worse.”

Other Friend: “Unlike [Sober Friend], who literally p***ed himself… in the police car… about five minutes later.”

Sober Friend: “Yeah… so… just Diet Coke for me from now on, thanks!”

Suddenly, I realize something.

Me: “Wait! That’s why [Yet Another Friend] got you a birthday card last month saying ‘Happy Birthday, Shotgun McPee’!”

Cue more laughter.