Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

You Were Clearly Banking On Your Friend Being Smarter Than That

, , , , , | Friendly | November 19, 2022

It’s a Monday morning, and I’m woken up by my ringing phone. The caller ID says it’s my friend, so I grab it to answer.

Me: “What?”

Friend: “Best friend! Thank God you answered. I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday!”

Me: “What’s up?”

Friend: “I think my [Money App] got hacked. [Her Ex] has a bunch of charges on his account in my name from it, but they’re not mine! He’s at his bank trying to sort it out and wants to file a police report for it, but I told him not to! If work gets wind of this, even though I didn’t do it, I’ll be fired! I handle money; if they think I’m in trouble for theft like this, I’ll be on the streets! You work for a bank; what do I do?!”

Me: “Okay. You were probably involved in a data breach. Change your password.”

Friend: “I did!”

Me: “Contact this app and see if you can get an idea of where the money was spent and where the charges originated. That will help alleviate worries that you did it if the IP was too far away to have been you.”

Friend: “Okay! I will! God, this is awful. I never even got that debit card.”

Me: “Wait, wait, wait, back up. ‘Debit card’? This isn’t some app like [Popular Cash App]?”

Friend: “No, it’s like online banking and stuff. I ordered a card and never got it.”

Me: “Okay. You’re f****** stupid is what you are. Report that card stolen; you should have done that when you didn’t get it the first time. Figure out where the charges were done, like, X amount of money spent at [Big Box Store], Y amount of money spent at [Local Gas Station]. Go talk to the managers of those places and see if you can get security footage of the person using it. Or just file the police report as your card being stolen. That’s best, actually; do that instead. You won’t get in trouble if it’s a stolen card; you’re fine.”

Friend: “Oh! Okay. I was thinking maybe I should do that, but I wanted your input on it. I ordered a new card from them.”

Me: “If it’s not here by Friday, call them like you should have last time.

Friend: “Okay, will do. I’ve been worried sick! I tried calling you yesterday, but I couldn’t get through!”

Me: “I work six days a week; if you’re having a crisis on my one day off, that’s between you and God.”

Good Friends Don’t Let Friends End Up On NAR

, , , , , | Right | November 15, 2022

I am leaving work just after closing. The store I work at is in a strip mall, and directly next to us is a chain thrift store location, which I know closes at the same time we do.

As I head to my car, I see a woman standing outside the doors to the thrift store holding a large flatscreen TV, which I assume she is either trying to donate (donations are around the back and there are signs everywhere) or return (this thrift store chain does not accept returns). However, this woman seems determined.

Standing about a dozen feet away next to a parked car is a second woman. She has the car door already opened and is calling over to [Woman #1], clearly trying to convince her to leave.

Woman #2: “Come on, they’re closed!”

Woman #1: “No, they’re not! I can see people moving around in there!”

Woman #2: “Girl, those are employees! They’re just cleaning and stuff. Let’s go!”

[Woman #1] tried to whip around, presumably to continue arguing with her friend, but the motion made the TV slip from her arms, causing its screen to shatter spectacularly as it hit the pavement face-down.

Both women just stood there and, not wanting to get caught staring, I got in my car and left. I do feel kind of bad for [Woman #1] that her TV broke, but I’ll never forget the exhausted, “Why are you like this?” tone with which [Woman #2] said, “Those are employees.”

It gave me strength to see that there are some customers out there who aren’t idiots and are willing to call out their friends for being idiots.

If God Created Us, He Created Our Ability To Create Medicine!

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 6, 2022

I’m in college on summer break. I’ve been experiencing occasional stomach pain and cramps for no known reason. I also have thyroid disease, and my doctor has recently changed my meds.

This all comes to a head one Sunday at church with my mom. I’m already not feeling great because of my new thyroid meds, and during the sermon, my stomach starts cramping again. My mom helps me out to the lobby and asks if I can walk to the car. I can’t, so she sits me on a bench and goes to pull the car around.

An acquaintance has followed us out.

Acquaintance: “Are you okay?”

I open my mouth to respond, but another cramp hits me, so all that comes out is a groan.

Acquaintance: “Guess that’s a no. Did you eat something bad?”

Me: “No idea. I already wasn’t feeling well because of my new thyroid medicine, and now this.”

Acquaintance: “You know, being on those pills shows a lack of faith.”

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Acquaintance: “You should stop your medicine. Have faith that you’ll be healed.”

Me: “I’m not stopping my medicine.”

Acquaintance: “Then you don’t have faith.”

I open my mouth to respond, but I hear the senior pastor’s wife’s voice behind me.

Pastor’s Wife: “I’m on thyroid medicine, too. Does that mean I don’t have faith, [Acquaintance]?”

Acquaintance: “Um…”

Pastor’s Wife: “I’d go back to the service if I were you.”

The acquaintance bolts back into the sanctuary. The senior pastor’s wife sits next to me.

Me: “Th-thank you.”

Pastor’s Wife: “No problem. Adjusting to a new thyroid medicine dose is hard. Looks like your mom brought the car around. Let’s get you home to rest.”

She helped me out to the car, as I was now doubled over in pain. The pain went away, but it came back a few days later. I ended up in the Emergency Room, where it was discovered that I had gallstones. I had surgery soon after.

While I was in a recovery room, a balloon, flowers, and a small gift basket were delivered. The senders? My church’s senior pastor, his wife, and the other pastors on staff.

I Think We’ve Nailed Down Why He’s Not Popular With Others…

, , , , | Friendly | October 23, 2022

In middle school, in my social circle, there was a guy who unofficially worked as a cleaner in his family’s pastry shop. We were sort of friends, sharing an interest in kayaking and video gaming, but he wasn’t very popular with people for reasons I couldn’t quite understand.

This guy and I were among those who didn’t go on a week-long field trip to the mountains. (I don’t like skiing, and his parents didn’t allow him to go.) During that week, I figured I could invite the guy over to my house to study and hang out a bit. In the beginning, everything was fine and dandy. We did homework, we chatted about the social goings-on between subjects, and once we were done, I booted up my Playstation to play.

Then, my family’s Eritrean maid knocked on the game room’s door.

Maid: “Can I get you two anything?”

Me: “[Friend], what would you like?”

Friend: “[Soda].”

I confirmed with the maid that we actually had some and then politely asked for water for me too.

A little bit later, probably not even ten minutes, the maid opened the door, bottles and glasses in hand.

Friend: “Took you long enough. What were you even doing up there, sending your two Euros to your family in Timbuktu?”

I was surprised by how aggressive he got, but I let it slide and thanked her as she quickly left the room to resume her work.

He clearly had seen my reaction.

Friend: “What? She took forever to get down here!”

Me: “Mate, first of all, you don’t talk to my family’s maid like that, and secondly, she didn’t even take that long.”

Friend: “She’s just a maid!” 

We started arguing loudly and strongly.

Friend: “You’re being a wuss and an idiot for not taking full advantage of the charmed life you live!”

I pointed out that I wasn’t the one hiring her, that I actually respect her work, and that she didn’t have any family in Africa anyway. After a while, I got fed up and told him to get out of my house and wait for his mother outside. As I escorted him out, he told me I was a weakling and a dumba**. 

We never talked to each other ever again. Good riddance.

Treat Yourself (By Treating Your Friends)

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 19, 2022

In my early twenties, I got my first job, moved out of the family home, and started taking night classes at the local tech college. Working part-time for minimum wage didn’t actually pay enough to live on, but my parents very generously agreed to pay half my rent, pay all of my school fees (I did get financial aid, but it didn’t cover everything), and give me a food allowance so long as I kept my grades up. I got by, but it was a no-frills existence. My one “non-essential” was my cat — who was absolutely “essential” so far as I was concerned.

My birthday came around, and I invited a couple of friends over to celebrate. They surprised me by taking me out for a surprise treat. The surprise? We pulled into a grocery store parking lot and went inside, and they put a buggy in front of me and told me to go wild. I didn’t understand what they meant at first.

Eventually, they explained that they were gonna buy me a buggy full of groceries. Anything in the store I wanted that’d fit in that buggy, they’d pay for. I was happy and shocked. We had fun going down every aisle, picking out foodstuff I’d never tried before because they were expensive, and being kinda goofy. My friends even convinced me to buy some bakeware and utensils. And, of course, I stocked up on kitty supplies. It was not a cheap trip. I ate very well that month, as did my cat.

I don’t think I fully expressed how blown away I was by their generosity at the time. I didn’t know how. But when I think back to the night of the surprise birthday grocery trip, I feel warm fuzzies and know that true friends are awesome.