Calling You A Liar

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2019

(I am the manager on duty on an unusually busy Saturday, and have been manning the register and answering calls non-stop. Between me and my associate, we have missed maybe three phone calls. The customer in this story comes in with his son at the tail end of my ten-hour shift.)

Customer: *skipping everyone in line* “What the h*** is wrong with you people?”

Me: *literally turning away from my last customer to face him* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I’ve been calling all day, and you ain’t once answered your phone!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve answered every phone call I could physically get my hands on. Either you called a different store, or you’re exaggerating how much effort you put into calling.”

Customer: “I always call this store! You’d better not be calling me a liar, you—“

(The phone rings. With quite a bit vindicated satisfaction, I hold up my index finger to silence the man and pick up the phone.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer’s Son: “Hey, that’s the lady I talked to, Daddy!”

(I turned around so the customer couldn’t see me trying not to laugh at the expression on his face, and my coworker sent him to the back of the even longer line.)

Unfiltered Story #135084

, , | Unfiltered | December 27, 2018

Me: Hi, what can I help you with today?

Woman: I have a iPad I would like to sell.

Me: Okay, I just need a few details, what model iPad do you have?

Woman: I don’t know.

Me: Do you have it on you so I can look?

Woman: No, I just want a rough price.

Me: Alright, I will have to ask you some questions, do you know the model number?

Woman: No.

Me: The memory size? 16GB? 32GB?

Woman: No.

Me: How long have you had it? did you buy it new?

Woman: No idea.

Me: Do you know the colour?

Woman: No.

Me: How can you not know the colour? With out any more information there is not much I can do.

Woman: All I know is that its a iPad an Apple iPad.

Me: Is it even yours?

Woman: Yes.

Me: And all you can tell me is its an Apple iPad?

Woman: Yes, can you guess how much it is worth?

Me: 10p? 20p? I have no idea as I know nothing about the item and you don’t either.

Woman: Well ain’t you useless.

Me: Okay, well I have done as much as I can with what you have told me so I am only as useless as the information you have given me, we are done, goodbye.

Unfiltered Story #134115

, , | Unfiltered | December 22, 2018

(I’m a manager at a local video game store that specializes in retro games. We have a five day return policy on working games for store-credit, or cash for defective items.)

Customer: “I want to return this gameboy advance and games I bought yesterday, they don’t work.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look at them.” (I proceed to clean the games with some rubbing alcohol and a cotton swap in front of the customer, I then test each of the games. Each working perfectly fine.)

Me: “It looks like they actually work just fine, sometimes you just need to give these older games a little clean. Would you still like to return these games for store credit?”

Customer: (In a snobby tone) “Actually I would like my money back because these items did not work.”

Me: “But as I have showed you they work perfectly. Our return policy for working goods is store credit only as it states on our receipt.”

Customer: “Well you got it to work, It did not work for me. So I would like my cash back. So.. ”

Me: (Being fed up, I interrupt him) Yeah, sure, whatever that is fine.
(I ring up his return, and count his change and hand it to him)

Me: “Here you go.”

Customer: Don’t sell bad products and you won’t have this problem.

Me: Kay.
(I held in my laughter until he headed for the door. I asked my coworker who handled the transaction yesterday)

Coworker: “Yeah, I remember him. He probably wanted drugs. I tested those games before I sold them to him.”

Me: You’re probably right, he did look like a junkie.

Been Taking Too Many Mushrooms From The Mushroom Kingdom

, , , , | Right | December 18, 2018

(I work in a retro gaming store. We sell both modern consoles and retro consoles. I am working in the retro department when a middle-aged female customer comes up to the desk. We don’t complete purchases, just advise and assist customers.)

Customer: “I am looking for a Zelda or Mario game for the PlayStation 2.”

Me: “Ma’am, those characters are property of Nintendo; the PlayStation 2 is made by Sony a competitor.”

Customer: “Yes, but I used to play Zelda and Mario as a child. You wouldn’t know anything about old consoles; you are too young.”

(I am a 20-plus-year-old guy who, thanks to a short height and a clean shave, looks like I’m 16. I grew up with the NES and SNES and other consoles due to my mother playing them, and they still work.)

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you I still own almost every console that is for sale here and play them regularly. Now, would you like me to look for games that are Mario or Zelda-like for the PlayStation?”

Customer: *huffs* “Well, if you don’t have them as you ‘acclaim’ I’ll have to look for them myself.”

(She walks to the Xbox Classic section of the store.)

Me: “[Coworker], could… could you explain to her that the PlayStation 2 games are here… I’m gonna take my five now.”

Unfiltered Story #132741

, , | Unfiltered | December 13, 2018

(A new ‘Digimon’ video game came out recently and, after watching my friend stream it, I decided to go to and pick it up. When I do, there’s myself, in the mid 20s, and another customer, appears to be roughly in his teens, along with an employee.)

Me: “Excuse me, but do you have any copies of that new Digimon game that just came out on PS4?”

Employee: “Yes, we do, just one moment.”

Me: “No worries, take your time.”

(As he’s looking for the game behind the counter, the teenager speaks up.)

Teenager: “Digimon?! HA! You should be playing real games like Call of Duty and Grand Theft Auto!”

Me: “And what makes Digimon not a real game?”

Teenager: “It’s for kids! I bet you still play Pokémon too!”

Me: “As a matter of fact I do, not that it matters. Besides, I’d rather have games with some thought elements to it versus just shooting stuff willy-nilly.”

Teenager: “Excuse me?! What the f*** do you mean!?”

Me: “Well, let me see. In Pokémon, you have to remember the different moves, how they affect each other, and other details. As for Grand Theft or most, if not all, military games like Duty you just need to remember how the enemy looks.”

Teenager: “You have to sneak around and stuff too!”

Me: “Really? Every first person shooter or wannabe gangster game I’ve played, and, as a matter of fact, I have San Andreas, the sneaking and puzzle elements, when there, take a back seat in 95% or better of the missions.”

Teenager: “Well… I… uh… Pokémon and Digimon are still for little kids!”

Employee: “Actually, I’ve seen more people closer to him buying them lately. Though, you seem too young to be playing most of the games you claim you play.”

Teenager: “Well who asked you anyways, b****?”

Employee: “Please don’t use that term, and, if you must know, the game he wanted has quite a few scenes of violence and word usage as well. Way more than the TV show.”

Teenage: “So what, Digidorks is just trying to do that edgy s*** anyways.”

Employee: *ignoring him* “That’ll be [price].”

(I pay and start to head out only to have the Teenager grab me, which I react by slinging my arm back into his chest, causing him to lose balance and land on the floor.)

Teenager: “What the f***, you hit me!”

Me: “You were trying to gra—“

Employee: *to teenager* “Get out, NOW!”

Teenage: “What!? You’re kicking me out? I didn’t f***ing do anything!”

Employee: “That’s not what the cameras are going to show, and I can, and will, call the police if you don’t get out!”

(The teenager then starts to get up and try to approach the counter while shouting out several profane words and threatening violence and to ‘get his dad to fire him’.)

Employee: “You mean [name]?”

Teenager: Huh?! How do you know him!?

Employee: Seems you don’t remember, we used go to the church together.

(The teenager looks at the employee’s name tag and hurries out, almost knocking down a display.)

Me: “What was that about?”

Employee: I’m one of the heads of the church, and work with his father every Sunday. I wonder how he’d react if he knew he was playing those games, and, for the record, I prefer games like what I’ve seen you buy over the FPSes anyways.

(I smile and nod before heading out. The next time I came back, the same employee was there and told me that the teenager came by two days later to exchange his games and consoles with his father.)

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