Maybe If It Was A Jigglypuff  

, , , , , | Working | September 5, 2019

(This story happens to two friends of mine around ten years ago. One of them is a cashier at a video game store; the other has arrived at that same store to pre-order a copy of Pokémon Platinum. The cashier friend’s supervisor is there alongside them. The pick-up goes smoothly, until…)

Friend #1: “As you are pre-ordering a copy, you get a figure as a gift!”

Friend #2: “Really?”

Supervisor: “And it’s made of gelatin!”

(Both friends are confused after those words.)

Both Friends: “Of gelatin?”

(The supervisor looks for a pamphlet supporting what she said.)

Supervisor: “Yes! It says so right here. Look!”

(They look at the pamphlet that says that, with a pre-order, you get a Giratina figure.)

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina is the Pokémon’s name.”

Supervisor: “Huh?”

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina. It’s not made of gelatin.”

Supervisor: “You don’t say! I was telling everyone that we were giving away gelatin figures!”

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The Signs They Are A-Changin’

, , , , | Right | August 30, 2019

(I work at a fairly well-known video game chain that often has deals for older pre-owned games, like four for $10 or four for $20, etc. Although I’ve seen several variations of this same conversation, this particular encounter takes place during a sale where games $4.99 and under are four for $10. At this point, I have already talked to these customers, informed them very clearly that all games under $5 are four for $10, and left them to do their shopping.)

Me: *as the customers are walking up to my register* “So, did y’all find everything all right this evening?”

Customer’s Wife: “We sure did! Someone gave our grandkids an Xbox as a gift, and we figured we might find them some games for when they come to visit. I can’t believe you have so many 360 games, and at such good prices, too!”

Me: *noticing the four games they’ve brought me are each $20 to $30* “Well, I’m glad you think so! We try to keep as good of a collection as we can in stock.”

(I ring up the games and give them their total, which is well into the $90 range. The husband nods and puts his card into the chip reader. The wife freaks out before he can enter his PIN.)

Customer’s Wife: “Wait, why is our total $90?!”

Me: *mentally hoping she just noticed our loyalty card pricing instead of the actual price* “Well, ma’am, this bottom price here is if y’all had our [loyalty program] card. Since you’ve told me you don’t, you’re getting this price.” *gestures to the top price*

Customer’s Wife: “Excuse me, but those games are four for $10.”

Me: “I’m sorry about the confusion, ma’am. The four for $10 is, unfortunately, only for games under $5.”

Customer’s Wife: “There was absolutely no sign saying that the games had to be under $5! This is ridiculous.”

(She storms back over to the section to “prove that the sign doesn’t say the price range.” I know very well that all the signs clearly say $4.99 and under, and it’s almost as big a piece of text as the “four for $10” portion.)

Customer: *shakes his head* “Sorry about that.”

Me: “It’s all right. We all read the signs wrong sometimes. I really do hope that your grandkids enjoy the games.”

Customer’s Wife: *from the game section* “See, it says right here—” *stops, presumably because she’s actually read the sign this time and has seen how clearly it is marked* “Hmph. Well.” *glares at me* “Maybe I did misread the sign.”

Me: “It happens to the best of us, ma’am. I hope y’all have a wonderful night.”

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A Ploy For A Toy  

, , , | Right | August 27, 2019

(I am opening the store on a Saturday, and it is having a special event for game figurines. Immediately after I unlock the front door, approximately ten customers rush in. One comes directly to the registers, and the others go to the figurines on the wall next to the registers.)

Customer #1: *a youngish guy* “Hi! I’d like to return this game.”

Me: “No problem!” *looks over receipt while talking* “Did you have any problems with it?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, I did. I tried several times to get it to—”

Customer #2: *middle-aged woman, interrupting by yelling and waving her arms in the air at me* “HELLO? EXCUSE ME? YOU HAVE CUSTOMERS OVER HERE, TOO! GET OVER HERE AND HELP!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m in the middle of helping this guy. I’ll be over when I finish.”

Customer #2: “No! He isn’t the only customer in here. You have to help us, too. We have questions!”

Me: “Listen, he was first in line and I’m in the middle of a transaction. You’re going to have to wait.”

Customer #2: “NO! You need to get over here NOW!” *turning to the other customers sifting through the items with her* “Can you believe her? Why the h*** is she even here?! She doesn’t want to help me? She should just go home. Plenty of people are out of jobs right now and would line up to take her position!” *then yelling to me while I’m still helping [Customer #1]* “You hear me? Why are you here?! You should quit if you don’t want to do your job!”

Customer #1: *to me* “I feel your pain. I used to work at [Big Box Store] so I know what it’s like to work with ridiculous people who have no manners.”

Me: “I know, right?! Thank you for understanding and being patient while she yells at me.”

([Customer #1] walks out and [Customer #2] gets in line behind a few other people. I help out those people and she comes up to the counter.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, it’s me.” *with attitude as she steps up with her daughter* “We’re getting this.” *hands me her merchandise*

(I ring up her stuff, give her the free poster that I have on hand to give out during the special event, and send her on her way. Halfway to the door, she turns around and yells at me while I’m in the middle of another transaction.)

Customer #2: “Whoa, whoa! Wait. We were supposed to get the free toy with our purchase!”

(She moves the customer in front of me out of her way.)

Me: “No, ma’am. Actually, the free toy was with the purchase of a select few items.”

(I show her the list of things she had to buy.)

Customer #2: “No! I have the email right here.” *shows me* “And it says we just had to buy this!”

Me: “I was told by upper management that the toys are reserved for these—” *showing her the select purchases* “—only.”

Customer #2: “I want them! Give them to me now!” *to the other customers in line* “She’s just hiding them for herself! She’s going to take them and give them to her friends!”

Me: “Look, I’ve never even played this game and I don’t give a d*** about these toys.” *puts a toy on the counter* “But here, anything to get rid of you.”

(She grabs the toy and storms out of the store while the other customers stare at her behavior in shock.)

Customer #3: “Hello! I’d like this, please, and I promise I’m not here for those toys.” 

Me: “What a relief!”

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Mario Jumped Down The Wrong Pipe

, , , | Right | August 20, 2019

(I work in a popular video game store. It’s Christmas, so we have a lot of stressed-out parents buying last-minute gifts. One woman barges past the long line of customers I am serving.)

Me: “I’ll be with you in a minute. I just have to serve these customers first.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s just a question!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll try to do both. Go ahead.”

Customer: “Do you have Super Mario on the PS4?”

Me: “No, I’m afraid not. Mario is only for Nintendo; he’s their mascot, so he’s not on other platforms. Do you mean the Wii, WiiU, DS, or 3DS?”

Customer: *talking as if I was slow* “No! PLAYSTATION. He has a PEE-ESS-FOOOR! Check the computer; I know it exists! He told me!”

Me: *humouring her and checking the system* “I’m afraid there are no Mario titles for anything other than Nintendo. Are you sure he said PS4?”

Customer: “Look, my son probably knows more about games than you. He’s very smart! He specifically told me you could get it on PS4 now!”

Me: “I’m afraid he might have been misinformed or maybe misheard. Mario is only on Nintendo.”

Customer: “ARE YOU CALLING MY SON A LIAR?!”

Me: “No… I just was saying tha—”

Customer: “YOU’RE JUST HIDING IT FROM HONEST CUSTOMERS! YOU JUST DON’T WANT TO SELL IT TO ME!”

(She storms out and comes back several minutes later, pushing past customers who had been there when she first came in. She THRUSTS her phone in my face, open to a YouTube video.)

Customer: “SEE? MARIO NOW ON PS4! If you were any good at your job, you would know that!”

Me: “May I see that video, please?”

(She smirks and throws the phone at me. I just about catch it. I don’t watch the video, but instead, I open the description underneath. In capital letters are the words, “APRIL FOOLS, SUCKAS!” and yep, it was posted on 1st April. All the comments below are about how such a thing would never happen.)

Me: “I’m afraid this is a parody video. It was an April Fool’s joke; see right here?”

Customer: “WELL, HOW WAS MY SON MEANT TO KNOW THAT?! HE’S ONLY SEVEN!”

(She storms out, embarrassed and angry, as the customers she pushed past earlier are trying to hide their smirks.)

Manager: *deadpan whisper* “I thought she said her son was smart?”

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Welcome To Retail, Part 5

, , , | Right | August 5, 2019

(A lady comes into my store to sell her console and games. I ring up the games and go to grab her console when this happens.)

Customer: “Oh, no. I’m not selling the console. There’s a game inside.” 

Me: “Oh, okay. So, just these, then?”

Customer: “No, there’s a game inside!”

Me: *trying to comprehend* “So, you brought in the console… to sell the game inside?”

Customer: “Yup! We were in a hurry, so we just pulled it out of the wall!”

(I just silently plugged in the console, took the game, and completed the transaction. They happily walked out with their console.)

Related:
Welcome To Retail, Part 4
Welcome To Retail, Part 3
Welcome To Retail, Part 2

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