I’ll Have A Pleasant Regular With A Side Friend

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2020

(I work as a server, barista, and cook in a small cafe. One day, we have a pleasant regular come in with a friend. From the moment she enters, my colleague and I already know she’ll be a piece of work; she just has that aura.)

Regular: “I’d like the quiche of the day, please, with a side salad.”

Friend: “I’ll have a salad.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t serve just salads. You can have a quiche or soup with a side salad.”

Friend: “Well, you have the ingredients, so why can’t you just make a bigger plate for me?”

Me: “Because we need to book it, and since we don’t have it in the system, I can’t serve it to you.”

Friend: “I’ll pay whatever; just tell me a price.”

Me: “I can’t do that. Price calculation is very complicated; we have to consider taxes, cost of ingredients…”

Friend: *still complaining*

Regular: “Look, I’ll just have two slices of quiche and you can have both side salads, all right?”

Me: *mental note to make all his orders a double shot of espresso for ever* 

(He never brought that friend in again.)

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Unfiltered Story #182273

, | Unfiltered | January 14, 2020

*I was cashing out someone’s coffee order when I overhear my co-worker at the register next to me talking to a customer*

Customer: *Orders coffee and adds…* Can you warm up the milk packets for me?

Co-worker: Warm up the milk packets?

Customer: Yes. Put them in the microwave for 20 seconds and warm them up.

Co-worker: I’m sorry ma’am but I don’t think I’m allowed to do that… it’s not really safe for the plastic to be warmed up…

Customer: I don’t care it’s fine. I’ll take it at my own risk, just do it!

Co-worker: Are you sure we can’t just.. warm some milk up for you in a mug? Then you can put it in your coffee.

Customer: NO. I want you to warm up the actual packets. Let me speak to someone else.

*Assistant manager comes in and 5 minutes pass of her trying to explain how warming up the milk packets are hazardous for her and us as well – you can’t put plastic in a microwave DUH*


Assistant Manager: I am sorry but it goes against the health and safety rules we have to follow.

*10 more minutes go by as she threatens to report the assistant manager and how she doesn’t care if it’s not safe and blah blah. Eventually someone gave in and did it for her.*

Customer: SEE THAT WASN’T SO HARD WAS IT? *Leaves*

Me: *Quits job*

Unfiltered Story #182263

, , | Unfiltered | January 13, 2020

(It’s a busy day and I’m on the coffee machine at my work, I’ve just completed a number of takeaway orders before starting on my sit-in coffees when a customer from one of the tables approaches me.)
Customer: So do you just make the to go orders here?
Me: Ah, no, all orders are made on this machine.
Customer: I thought perhaps they were made in there. *points to our small kitchen with obviously no room for a coffee machine.*
Me: No ma’am, just here.
Customer: Oh. *wanders back to table.*

Unfiltered Story #182261

, , | Unfiltered | January 12, 2020

(Note: The name of the place I work has Coffee in the title and this customer walked by at least three signs with our name on it, not to mention our machine is on full display right next to me.)
Customer: *approaches counter* So do you guys serve coffee here?
Me: Yes we do, what would you like?
*Customer proceeds to place her order and I start to make it while she stares up at our menu.*
Customer: Oh you guys make food as well!
(I have no idea what sort of store she thought we were when she walked in….)

Unfiltered Story #182231

, , | Unfiltered | January 9, 2020

(I am a volunteer at the non profit cafe where this takes place, during rush hours, when we are absolutely overwhelmed and there’s a wait time for all fried dishes of about 25 mins)
Customer: I want the fried rice.
Me: Sure, there is a 25 min wait for all the fried foods though, is that alright with you? :)
(there is still the option to change the order or to leave, and he must’ve realized his friend who’d ordered a chicken curry before him didn’t have a waiting time since it wasn’t fried)
Customer: 25 min?! Wait, but… like can’t you make the food together?
Me: … Umm he ordered a chicken curry, and you’ve got the fried rice…?
Customer: Yea, so why can’t you make them together?
Me: … Um? But they are different dishes?
Customer: Yea, but and? You can just make them together right??
(I’m not kidding, he repeats the same question over, and well… at this point, I was just very confused by what he wants, because how do you make two separate dishes together to speed up the process? Curried fried rice? what?)
Me: No but, he’s got the chicken curry, which isn’t fried and can be made by the assistant chefs as well (and curries are premade cause they would take forever otherwise), but the fried ones are made by the main chef and-
(I kid you not, he cut me off like that, complete with an eye roll and head shake)
Me: … Thank you
(We were having trouble with the chip and pink machine)
Me: Yes. I know.