The Cocoa Con

, , , , | Right | October 16, 2017

(I work at a cafe in a bookstore. People will occasionally ask us for hot water for their tea bags that they brought from home, which we happily oblige, free of charge. One day…)

Supervisor: “We’re going to have to start charging $0.25 for water.”

Me: “Why?”

Coworker: “You’ll see.”

(A few days go by, then a man and a woman come in.)

Customer: “Can I have a large cup of hot water? Just half full?”

Coworker: “Sure, but it’ll be $0.25 for the cup.”

Customer: “What?! But it’s always free!”

Coworker: “Sorry, new policy.”

Customer: “Come on! I didn’t know. Can’t I just have the water this one time? I’ll know for next time!”

Coworker: *sighs* “Just this last time.”

(The woman then takes her hot water to the self-service bar, where we keep the cinnamon, cocoa, sugar, milk, cream, straws, stirrers, etc. She dumps in half of the cocoa and fills up the rest with cream, stirring it together to make hot cocoa, and also making a huge mess.)

Coworker: “That’s why it’s $0.25 now, because of those two.”

(We later banned the two of them because customers kept finding pamphlets that they left in all of the books,and they constantly found new loopholes to get free stuff from the cafe.)

A Crafty Way To Make Money

, , , , , , , | Friendly | October 15, 2017

(I have taken my nieces and nephews out shopping while babysitting. I go to a friend’s business where she has a cafe. It’s a very safe environment; the whole place is only three rooms, and I know most of the people there. There’s a woman that I know there on this day, and she’s got some items set up on one of the tables in the cafe. I leave the kids eating while I go to the second room to pay for our meals, and when I come back I find this woman has approached them. They are all out of their chairs, ready to follow her.)

Woman: “Oh, hi, [My Name]! I was just asking the kids if they want to do some crafts with me!”

(She talks to them, getting them excited about doing the crafts. I’m hesitant about letting them, as we have to leave very soon to get home in time for their father to pick them up, but the kids are so excited about it and I don’t want to let them down.)

Me: “Okay, just something real quick; we have to leave in ten minutes.”

(I finish my meal and then tell them we have to leave.)

Woman: “Okay, [My Name], that’s four children at $15 each.”

Me: “What? You never said anything about payment to begin with.”

(My friend who owns the business always runs free crafts for children during school vacation time, and I have donated craft things myself.)

Woman: “Oh, didn’t I? You can give a donation if you want; whatever you think is fair.”

Me: “All I’ve got is $10.”

Woman: “Okay, that will do as a donation.” *turns to kids* “Okay, pack up your stuff now.”

(The only thing they have done is draw on a piece of paper. She turns back to me.)

Woman: “You can bring the rest to me next week.”

Me: “That $10 was all I could afford; I’m sorry.”

(As we left, I saw her at another table inviting more children to do crafts with her. They were the children of staff members, including the owner’s son. I mentioned what happened to the owner, who told me I wasn’t the only one to make a complaint about her approaching children and then trying to make the parents pay.)

Don’t Mess With Family (Business)

, , , , , , , | Working | October 13, 2017

(My wife and I have owned a café a few blocks from our house for over a year. I suck at cooking, so 90% of the time I’m a stay-at-home dad to our two-year-old, while my wife is at the café nigh on constantly. I do help out from time to time, and I’ve met most of the employees. I decide to bring our daughter in for lunch one day, since she’s been begging for mummy since she woke up.)

Me: *talking to new employee I’d never seen before* “Hi, is [Wife] in? I’d like to speak to her.”

New Employee: *rolls eyes and sighs* “I don’t know.”

Me: “Could you please find out?”

New Employee: *sighs again* “I can get the boss for you, but I don’t know who [Wife] is.”

Me: “[Wife] is the boss.”

New Employee: *snorts* “No, she isn’t. You’ve been lied to, mate.”

Me: *getting pretty angry at this point about how rude this girl is* “Just get the boss, then.”

New Employee: “Fine, if you’re going to be rude about it!”

(She stalks off. My daughter climbs up onto one of the chairs and sits at the table, pretending to read the menu and excitedly telling anyone who walks past, “SEE MY MUMMY!”)

New Employee: *stalks back over* “He’s coming. Could you control your kid, please? She’s bothering the other customers.”

Me: “She’s not hurting anyone.”

New Employee: “Ugh, whatever.”

(She flounces off to serve someone. A very frazzled looking [Brother-In-Law] comes out of the office and sees me.)

Brother-In-Law: “Oh, it’s just you! I thought it was another bloody complaint about her. [Wife] will be back in a bit; she just ran to get the milk order. Hey there, [Daughter]!”

(My daughter grins and giggles at the sight of her uncle, and in her excitement, knocks over her sippy cup she’d brought with her. It’s spill-proof, so it just falls to the floor and rolls under the table.)

Daughter: “Uh-oh! Sorry, Daddy!”

Me: “That’s fine, sweetie.”

(Before I can get over there, the new employee storms over, picks up the sippy cup, and SLAMS it onto the table, narrowly missing my daughter’s hand. The sudden noise and the girl’s angry face scares my daughter, who begins to cry.)

Brother-In-Law: “Hey! What the h***?!”

New Employee: “She’s been running around wrecking the place since he walked in, demanding to see some lady. He can’t control his kid, and he’s obviously picked up with some woman who lied about being the boss here to seem important.”

Me: “I asked to see [Wife] and she has been nothing but rude. Should I tell her or should you?”

(My brother-in-law has picked up my daughter and is cuddling her, trying to stop her from crying.)

Brother-In-Law: “[New Employee], [Wife] is the boss.”

New Employee: “No, she isn’t. [Supervisor who happens to be my sister-in-law] said some married couple owned the place. She’s not married; she doesn’t wear a ring.”

Me: “She doesn’t wear a ring because when she cooks it tears the gloves. It’s on a necklace instead.”

New Employee: “Ugh, whatever. Could you just stay out of this?”

Me: “Here, take a look at my license.”

(I hand her my wallet, and she flips it open and looks at my license. I’ve never seen someone go so pale so quickly as this employee when she looks at my surname — the name of the d*** café.)

Me: *to [Brother-In-Law]* “Has she had her warnings?”

Brother-In-Law: *grins* “Two, in writing. [Wife] wanted to give her one last chance.”

Me: “I’d say she’s used that.” *to her* “You’re fired.”

New Employee: *stammering* “You can’t do that! You’re not the boss! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!”

Wife: *who has apparently been standing quietly in the office doorway for a few minutes and has heard enough* “I am definitely the boss, and you are definitely fired.”

Has No Problem Espresso-ing Herself, Part 5

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2017

(I am a waiter at a cafeteria. A man and a woman come in and sit. I give them the menus.)

Woman: “Excuse me. What is the espresso macchiato?”

Me: “It’s a cup of espresso with foamed milk.”

Woman: “I’ll have that. Big, please.”

Me: “There is only one size, miss. It’s small. Really small.”

Woman: “It’s okay.”

Me: “And for you, sir.”

Man: “Nothing for me, thanks. We’ll share.”

Me: “Are you sure? The espresso is a really, really small drink.”

(I point at the cup of another customer, who is having an espresso.)

Man: “That’s okay.”

(I take the order and send it in. I return with the tray with the small espresso cup on top. The woman has a disappointment expression on her face. The man just laughs.)

Man: “You were not kidding!”

Me: “No, it’s this small.”

(The woman whispers something to the man. They both stand up and leave. I tell them that they have to pay for the drink, since they already ordered it, and we already prepared it. The man pays for the espresso and gives the cup to the woman. The woman, kind of pissed, takes the cup, and when they exit the cafe she throws the cup on the bushes. My manager comes in, and the woman talks to him, not knowing he is my manager.)

Woman: “Don’t go in there; they try to scam you with the drinks.”

(My manager asked me about this after they left, and face-palmed when I explained.)

Hard Rules For Soft Cheese

, , , , , | Working | October 10, 2017

(My friend is around eight months pregnant, and we’ve gone to a cafe for lunch together. Note that in the UK, soft cheeses such as Brie are on the list of foods that pregnant women are recommended not to eat, along with raw eggs, undercooked meat, etc. because there is an extremely small risk of listeria. However, there is no law preventing the sale of any of these foods to pregnant women, and it’s a woman’s individual choice whether she eats these foods or not. My friend picks up a Brie and bacon baguette from the fridge, and goes to the counter to pay.)

Cashier: “Okay, so that’s a Brie and bacon…” *spots my friend’s belly* “Oh. Oh, no, I’m sorry.”

Friend: “Sorry? Is there a problem?”

Cashier: “You can’t have this. I can’t sell this to you.”

Friend: “What do you mean?”

Cashier: “You’re pregnant. You’re not allowed to eat this.”

Friend: “Um, I think that’s my choice, don’t you?”

Cashier: “But… you’re pregnant.”

Friend: “Yes, and I’d like to have that sandwich for lunch.”

Cashier: “But this has Brie in it.”

Friend: “I know. That’s why I chose it. I assume the cheeses you use are all pasteurised?”

Cashier: “Well… yes. I think so.”

Friend: “Well, then, the risk of me getting ill after eating that sandwich is negligible. And anyway, it’s my choice whether or not to eat it. Please just let me pay for it.”

(Eventually the cashier scanned the baguette and let my friend pay, but all the time she was muttering about how pregnant women shouldn’t eat Brie and she really shouldn’t be selling it to her.)

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