Cruising Your Way To Some Excellent Tips

, , | Working | July 8, 2020

I’m on a cruise ship in the Caribbean with my wife, her parents, and her two sisters. We agree early on that every night we will have dinner together, and we will go early enough to beat the rush. It’s one of the first nights, and we have a very friendly waitress taking our order, bringing us our food, etc.

The next night, my parents-in-law decide they want to try the ship’s Teppanyaki restaurant, so it’s just the three daughters and me. We end up coincidentally at the same table, with the same waitress. What happens next surprises us.

Waitress: “Good evening, Ms. [Sister-In-Law #1], Ms. [Sister-In-Law #2], Ms. [Wife], Mr. [My Name]. Where are Mr. [Father-In-Law] and Mrs. [Mother-In-Law]?”

We are shocked. We have not told her our names; she must have read them on our ID cards which we showed her when ordering drinks. Just as amazing is what happens next:

Waitress: “Do you want iced tea, water, ginger ale, and Diet Pepsi again?”

This was our correct order from the previous night.

From then on, every night, we asked specifically if we could sit in that waitress’s section. Once, they even pulled her off of buffet duty to wait our table — for which she thanked us profusely. 

Once, the hostess started bringing us somewhere else, and we saw the waitress already putting our drinks at our regular table. Despite her efforts to discourage us, my father-in-law left her a massive tip.

I know it’s not reasonable to expect that wait staff will remember your name and order, but when it does happen, it helps make the meal a bit more special.

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Missing Part Of The Picture

, , | Right | June 2, 2020

I am the assistant manager of sales in the photo department onboard a cruise ship. We sell a lot of cameras and we have a special on a waterproof cameras that comes with a kit: 4GB card, rubber case, and a floating strap.

A guest just bought one and I explain to him how to use it. The next day, he’s back.

Guest: “Hey, uh… Listen, I lost my camera.”

Me: “What happened?”

Guest: “Well, I went snorkeling, and I forgot to put on the floating strap, so it fell down and I couldn’t find it. I want to buy another one.”

Me: “All right, no problem. I’m sorry you lost your camera. Here, let me bring you another one and show you how to put on the floating strap.”

I bring a new camera, show him how the floating strap is attached, and go through all the details. I have to add that I have the very same camera and I have never had issues with it and the floating strap works great.

Fast forward to the next day. The same guest comes back.

Guest: “Uh… Yeah, I lost the other camera, too.”

Me: “What? Again? How?”

Guest: “Well, I didn’t put on the floating strap and I went on a snorkeling excursion and I dropped it in the water.”

I am speechless!

Guest: “So, uh… Can I have another one for free?”

Me: “Sorry, but no.”

Guest: “But I already bought two of these; you should give me another one for free!”

Me: “Thanks for your business, but I’m afraid it won’t change my answer. You can’t have a $300 camera for free.”

He actually complained to guest services and I got a call from the hotel director. When I explained to him what happened, he couldn’t stop laughing.

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Unfiltered Story #163305

, , | Unfiltered | September 18, 2019

(I work as a bartender on a cruise ship. I’m a 27 year old female.)
Me: “Hi, how may I help you today?”
Customer (in sunglasses and hat): “A [set meal for two], please.”
Me: “Coming up! Are you sharing with anyone?”
Customer, whipping glasses, hat and fake beard to reveal it to be my boyfriend: “You, [my name]!”
Me: “Oh my god, [boyfriend], you’re so silly!”
Boyfriend: “Yes, I am. *whips out small ring box* And here, in the middle of the ocean, I want to ask you a question, [my name]. I have been your partner for four and a half years, and I can’t imagine my life without you now. You’ve helped me through life, and I have helped you. [my name], will you marry me?”
Me: *shocked, in awe, crying and laughing* “Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!”
(My boyfriend-turned-fiance places the ring on my finger and kisses me. A few of our friends come out with balloons, flowers and a camera, all cheering. We are all having a blast exchanging greetings and taking pictures, when this happens.)
Female customer (a bit older than me): “You f****** b****! You are SO unworthy of him! I was gonna get him, stupid w****! You are such a boyfriend-stealing s***!”
(I am shocked and confused, I had never seen her in my life apart from briefly on the cruise. As people are calling security and looking at her, she suddenly lunges at me, rips off my ring and places it on her own finger. She proceeds to try and assault me, grabbing me by the arm and shaking me.)
Boyfriend: “What the f***! I have never seen you in my life, crazy b****! Thanks to you, the proposal is absolutely ruined!”
Security: “Alright, miss, that’s enough. Come with us and give the ring back to [my name], please.”
Female Customer: “F*** you all!”
(I watch in horrified shock as she throws my ring overboard, into the ocean. Everyone is infuriated, but too shocked to do anything.)
Me: *whimpers* “My ring…”
(Security hauls the crazy customer away in handcuffs, all the while her screaming that I am not worthy of a man like that, and she should be the one with him! I eventually got a new ring, courtesy of the crazy customer, but I made sure to keep it discreet and be VERY, VERY careful with it.

Unfiltered Story #159129

, | Unfiltered | July 28, 2019

I was sampling some rum balls in a supermarket when an Indian gentleman came up to me, so I asked him if he would like to try a coffee and a rumball.
“What is a rumball?” he asked
I said “It’s a cookie with rum covered in chocolate.”
“Yes i’ll try one with a coffee.”
When he eats the rumball he quickly spits it out “This has rum in it!?”
“Yeeess..”
Looks at me in betrayal “I am a Muslim I can’t partake in alcohol.” Walks away wiping his mouth with a napkin.

Reached My T-Total For Rich Snobs

, , , | Friendly | December 21, 2018

(I am on a cruise ship. I get on an elevator that has a teenage girl and two women in it, with one of the women looking a bit more prim and proper than the other. Based on something they say as I enter, I assume it is a girl, her mother, and her upscale aunt.)

Aunt: “So, why was your husband wearing a t-shirt?”

Mother: “Because tonight is a casual night for dinner.”

Aunt: *in a serious, almost offended tone* “T-shirts aren’t casual; t-shirts are for the poor!”

(I manage not to laugh. The door opens and they get off. As the door closes I hear the mother say, “We were just talking about your shirt…”)

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