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But… What Happened To The Waiter?!

, , , , | Working | December 5, 2022

My friends and I are on a trip together to Italy. We decide to eat at a Chinese restaurant with good reviews.

We enjoy our lunch, but when it comes time to pay, the waiter is nowhere to be seen. We wait fifteen minutes, we look through the entire store, and we ask the other diners if they have seen him. We discuss possibly simply leaving as it has been about an hour at this point.

Finally, we find the kitchen and ask the chef for help.

Chef: “My nephew has disappeared?”

He looks around the restaurant.

Chef: “Perhaps I should put a missing person report in the newspaper?” 

He opens the front door and looks around. His eyes light up.

Chef: “Hey, you, [Person]!”

I cannot hear the response.

Chef: “Yes, you. I know you work in the place across the street. Wanna make 100 euros?”

The response is still inaudible to me.

Chef: “I just need you to take over waiting at my place for a few hours, just for the dinner rush, okay? Go home and get cleaned up first if you have to, okay? Okay, thank you!”

The chef then checked our party out himself and gave us a 50% discount for the trouble.

The Thieving Ravens At Sea

, , , , , , | Legal | November 12, 2022

My fiancé and I offer sailing holidays. People book a berth in a cabin and live and sail with us for one week. This, of course, means that we actually live with our customers and spend a lot of time with them in very limited space. This happened before I met my fiancé, but I’ve heard him tell the story plenty of times, and I found all the emails, reports, and protocols from this story on my fiancé’s old laptop. It was a very interesting read.

The story takes place in Sardinia in August, which is super-duper-high-season and everything is super expensive. Really, the prices are ridiculous! Sardinia happens to be a hotspot for the rich and the famous, and they pay for their privacy by jacking up the prices.

It was a normal week for [Fiancé]. The boat was full of a mixture of people: two couples and two friends. The groups didn’t know each other before the trip.

One of the women from one of the couples was the week’s treasurer, meaning she collected money from the rest of the crew to pay for the week’s expenses, like fuel, mooring fees, etc. Because it was August, they had to pay a lot. The two friends, two women in their thirties, never had enough money to pay their part and were always in “debt”. They repeatedly said that they had tried getting money but the ATM wasn’t working, and they kept making other excuses just like that.

On day two, [Fiancé] talked to them.

Fiancé: “We are not leaving this marina until you pay your part.”

They were a bit pissy about it but agreed.

[Fiancé]’s bulls*** radar kicked in, and he decided to sleep outside in the cockpit that night. Lo and behold, at 3:00 in the morning, the two friends tried to sneak out with their luggage. They hadn’t thought anyone would notice and were horrified to see [Fiancé] out there, stopping their sneaky departure.

Fiancé: “Where are you going at this time of night? And with all your luggage?”

Friends: “Oh, we’re leaving. For good.”

[Fiancé] woke the rest of the crew up and told them to check their things. Oh, no. Cameras, phones, tablets, etc., were all gone! And the ship treasurer’s wallet, containing around 1,000€, was missing, too!

The two friends were busted and gave back the things they had tried to steal.

Fiancé: “You two go to the next ATM and get the money you owe. I’ll keep your luggage as a deposit until then.”

They grudgingly did, and then they were given all their luggage back and unceremoniously banned from the boat.

The following day, the women came back with the Italian police, claiming that my fiancé had stolen their stuff. After listening to [Fiancé] and the rest of the crew, the officers just shrugged, pointed to the German flag on the boat, and said:

Officers: “German flag, German problem.”

That was it, or so everyone thought. [Fiancé] continued the trip with the remaining crew, and everyone was happy the two women were gone. 

Two days later, the booking agency called [Fiancé], saying he had to take the woman back. Apparently, the MOTHERS of the two women — adult women in their thirties! — had called the agency. The women had no money and couldn’t afford a hotel.

[Fiancé] absolutely refused. The agency made it very clear that they would hold him financially responsible for any consequences coming from this.

Of course, the women sued. They wanted money back for the trip, the flight, the hotels, restaurants, and all kinds of expenses. [Fiancé] had the testimonies from the other guests and various receipts for stuff the women tried to reclaim, so he told his attorney to go all in.

Not only did the women lose the case, but it was also revealed that they had tried the same stunt several times before with other agencies. This was the fourth time this had happened, but it was the first time someone just didn’t pay the money back to avoid the hassle. After hearing this, the previous three agencies sued the women, wanting their money back.

The story also shows how that one agency works. As long as they don’t have any costs, they don’t care. If your actions are costing them money, they will make you pay, and they don’t care about how the rest of the crew would have felt. Imagine how they would’ve felt if the two thieving ravens had come back on board.

He C-Sections But He Does Not See

, , , , , | Healthy | November 7, 2022

Around a month after having my first child, I realized my C-section scar was not healing well. It just was inflamed and strangely “bumpy”, so on a late evening, my husband and I decided to go to the ER to have it checked because we were out of town and I wouldn’t be able to see my gynecologist for a while.

It was kind of quiet at the hospital, and I had the honor of having three doctors around me, poking at my healing wound, and asking the usual questions about my general health.

And then came the Professor, the person in charge there, and the other white coats immediately gathered to one side respectfully while he looked at me with a paternal smile.

Professor: “And when did you have your C-section?”

Me: “On October twenty-fifth.”

Then, he dropped this pearl,

Professor: “And when was your child born?”

Me: *In a really unimpressed tone* “On October twenty-fifth.”

I looked at the other doctors, and they were all checking some very interesting floor tiles until the Professor left without a word and I was finally able to get some antibiotics for my infection.

I Think We’ve Nailed Down Why He’s Not Popular With Others…

, , , , | Friendly | October 23, 2022

In middle school, in my social circle, there was a guy who unofficially worked as a cleaner in his family’s pastry shop. We were sort of friends, sharing an interest in kayaking and video gaming, but he wasn’t very popular with people for reasons I couldn’t quite understand.

This guy and I were among those who didn’t go on a week-long field trip to the mountains. (I don’t like skiing, and his parents didn’t allow him to go.) During that week, I figured I could invite the guy over to my house to study and hang out a bit. In the beginning, everything was fine and dandy. We did homework, we chatted about the social goings-on between subjects, and once we were done, I booted up my Playstation to play.

Then, my family’s Eritrean maid knocked on the game room’s door.

Maid: “Can I get you two anything?”

Me: “[Friend], what would you like?”

Friend: “[Soda].”

I confirmed with the maid that we actually had some and then politely asked for water for me too.

A little bit later, probably not even ten minutes, the maid opened the door, bottles and glasses in hand.

Friend: “Took you long enough. What were you even doing up there, sending your two Euros to your family in Timbuktu?”

I was surprised by how aggressive he got, but I let it slide and thanked her as she quickly left the room to resume her work.

He clearly had seen my reaction.

Friend: “What? She took forever to get down here!”

Me: “Mate, first of all, you don’t talk to my family’s maid like that, and secondly, she didn’t even take that long.”

Friend: “She’s just a maid!” 

We started arguing loudly and strongly.

Friend: “You’re being a wuss and an idiot for not taking full advantage of the charmed life you live!”

I pointed out that I wasn’t the one hiring her, that I actually respect her work, and that she didn’t have any family in Africa anyway. After a while, I got fed up and told him to get out of my house and wait for his mother outside. As I escorted him out, he told me I was a weakling and a dumba**. 

We never talked to each other ever again. Good riddance.

Boozing And Boating Can Only Lead To Bad News

, , , , , , , , , | Healthy | September 14, 2022

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

 

My boyfriend and I offer sailing holidays. People book a berth in a cabin and live and sail with us for one week. This, of course, means that we actually live with our customers and spend A LOT of time with them in very limited space.

I used to work as a nurse until March 2017. During training, we theoretically learned first aid in a “wild” setting, but that’s very different from emergencies in hospitals where you have a big crew and the right equipment. Still, you know the basics, and you learn how to calmly analyse the situation before making decisions. One of the guests in this story was (is, probably) a gynecologist working in a delivery room, so the situation was pretty much the same for her.

This happened during the summer of 2017, in a marina in Italy.

We arrived at the marina at noon because of an incoming gale. The crew was a bit grumpy over the short day out, but safety first. Next to us was another boat that had stayed in all day, opting for drinking and enjoying the sun in the cockpit instead. They were already pretty drunk.

Our crew got out some bottles of wine and started drinking, too. They were all adults, so there was nothing wrong with that. (Our guests aren’t allowed to drink before or during sailing. Afterward, it’s up to them.) There was a decently-sized motor yacht on the other side. The owner was lonely and invited all of us over. Our crew (minus my boyfriend and I) and some of the neighbours went.

A few hours later, all but two of our guests came back, claiming it was just too much for them. Everyone was drinking very heavily. Those who stayed were the gynecologist and her friend.

In the evening, [Friend] came back; he needed to use the loo. He was angry because the yacht owner would only let him use the one on board if he took his shoes off. (Never, ever enter someone’s boat with shoes on; that’s a huge faux pas. The yacht owner was not asking for something unreasonable with his request.) [Friend] stomped back to our boat, but instead of using the toilet, he just peed on our gangway and started an argument. It was annoying and embarrassing.

We went to bed around midnight. [Gynecologist] and [Friend] were still partying. At four in the morning, [Friend] rushed into our cabin.

Friend: *Yelling* “Someone fell in the water! We need help!”

We rushed over, just in time to see people managing to drag one of the girls from the neighbouring boat back up onto the dock. [Gynecologist] acted correctly and put her in a recovery position, and the woman started to vomit water. The others told us that the girl was leaving the yacht and fell off the gangway, went under the dock, and resurfaced on the other side. Bad, bad, bad. Port and marina waters are notoriously dirty and nothing you want to swim in, even less inhale.

We ran over and my brain was in nurse mode, analysing and planning what to do. My boyfriend and I told the yacht owner to call for an ambulance. This is where [Gynecologist] started to forget her training. She was absolutely wasted and in no condition to be practicing medicine. 

Gynecologist: *Slurring loudly* “An ambulance isn’t necessary! She just needs to sleep it off!”

The woman was in and out of consciousness. My brain was remembering something from training about secondary drowning; she definitely needed an ambulance. As the yacht owner called for one, I rushed back on board my boat to get blankets and then went to guide the ambulance to the right place. After a few minutes, I could hear yelling from the dock and went back.

When I brought the blankets, it kick-started the medical training in [Gynecologist].

Gynecologist: *Screaming at my boyfriend* “You need to get infusions! I need to put in an IV line!”

Boyfriend: “What? No.”

Gynecologist: “You’re a murderer!”

Boyfriend: “One, we don’t have that stuff on board, and two, even if we had it, I would not let you near anyone with a needle in the shape that you’re in.”

More screaming followed.

When the EMTs finally arrived, [Gynecologist] refused to move over so that they could reach the woman. She was trying to explain to them in slurred, drunken German what had happened and was hovering over the woman. The Italian EMTs, of course, couldn’t understand a word that she was saying and were trying to get her out of the way.

Boyfriend: “Would you just move over and let the professionals do their job already?!”

During that time, I was knocking on the door of the neighbour’s boat, trying to wake them up. Someone would need to accompany the woman to the hospital and bring her papers. They were really annoyed at me banging at their boat in the middle of the night. When I told them what had happened, one man let out a loooooong, annoyed sigh and called her name. It sounded like it wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

The next day, [Friend] apologized for his behavior the previous day; he was super embarrassed. [Gynecologist], not so much. She saw my boyfriend and screamed at him again.

Gynecologist: “I AM NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!”

And she stormed off. She kept her word until two days later. Then, she got wasted again and started crying. She felt so belittled because he had called the EMTs “professionals,” and she felt that he didn’t take her seriously as a doctor. She refused to accept that she had been drunk.

The woman who fell off the boat was admitted to the hospital. She was in the ICU for two weeks. She had severe pneumonia from aspirating the dirty marina water, and according to our neighbours, she was close to dying from secondary drowning.

I know that a lot of people associate boating with drinking, but it can turn dangerous so, so fast. The woman was lucky to survive.