Egg All Over That Worker’s Face

, , , , , | Working | July 23, 2020

Due to the current health crisis, I’ve been ordering food for delivery more often. Most of it has been great. In particular, I’ve found a nearby burger restaurant that offers egg on the burger, which is something I love thanks to family dinners growing up. So, I’ve ordered it a few times. 

This particular time, however, I got the order and found it lacking the egg, despite the fact that I had paid extra for it. More than that, that particular line on the receipt had been scribbled over with a pen. So, I call to figure out what happened.

Worker #1: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How may I take your order?”

Me: “Hi. I just got delivery from you guys, and I noticed that the egg was missing from my burger. I just wanted—”

Worker #1: “Egg is disgusting! It doesn’t belong on a bur—”

There is a brief sound of scuffling.

Worker #2: “Hi. We’re sorry for the inconvenience; I’ll make sure that your burger gets refunded.”

Before I could say anything else, they hung up. I was left staring at the phone. I considered calling back again, but ultimately, it was just something like sixty cents, so I wasn’t going to make a big stink; I just wanted to figure out if they’d forgotten somehow, or if they’d run out of egg, and if so, if they could refund the extra amount.

They did end up refunding the entire amount of my order, which made me feel a little guilty, but I’m still going to order from them again, so I guess it worked out.

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That One Customer Knows More Than All The Doctors

, , , , , , | Right | July 23, 2020

I’m working at a fuel station attached to a grocery store. The city has put a mandate in place that all customers must wear masks when in the building. This is just one example of the customers we’ve been dealing with since.

Me: “Sir, you must put a mask on.”

Customer: “I’m a concealed carry permit holder and I know the Constitution.”

Me: “It is a city mandate that you wear a mask in the building. Put on a mask or leave.”

Customer: “The thirty-ninth amendment—”

Me: “Put on a mask or get out.”

Customer: “I know the Constitution—”

Me: “I will call the police!”

Three minutes later, he came back in to prepay for gas, wearing a mask.

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Sequel To The Children’s Classic, “My Teacher Sleeps In School”

, , , , , | Working | July 22, 2020

This takes place during the health crisis.

A colleague from another clinic is almost always on call at the same time as I am. Since I meet him at the hospital all around the clock, I finally jokingly ask him if he lives at the hospital.

He answers, within a second, “You know, it is the new thing; everybody should work from home.”

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Some People Really Are Color Blind

, , , , | Right | July 22, 2020

I work right next to a police station, and this is in a time where cities nationwide are doing protests. There is an organized peaceful protest march from city hall to the police station. Because of that, our street is closed for a number of hours. We are notified the evening before, and have notices posted on social media that we must be closed to the public for most of the business day, although our call center will remain open.

Because of the hours of street closure, every employee is still in the building and most of us are watching the march from our windows. I watch one car attempt to enter the main street from a side street and gawk at the marchers. I then watch them back up and turn around. They then do a donut and speed towards the marchers, nearly hitting several of them before driving quickly straight into our parking lot.

I then see the woman leave her car, come up to our front lobby doors, rattle the handle, cup her hands and peer inside, and then pull out her phone.

We all argue over who has to answer, and I lose. I speak to her while looking at her through the window.

Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [Bank].”

Customer: “Yes, hello, are you open?”

Me: “Oh, no, ma’am, I’m sorry. No one would be able to reach our lobby. You see, the entire street is closed today.”

Customer: “Oh, it is? I had no idea. Okay, well, I’ll come back tomorrow. Have a great day!”

To this day, I don’t know what she was thinking.

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Caution Is Important, But Um…

, , , , , , | Healthy | July 21, 2020

Me: “This is [Heart Clinic]; how can I help you?”

Patient: “I have an appointment tomorrow, and I really need to come, but I found out my aunt had [rapidly spreading illness].”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that! Did you have contact with your aunt?”

Patient: “No, I haven’t seen her in months.”

Me: “You had contact with someone who has seen her recently, then?”

Patient: “I haven’t had contact with anyone lately. I get my groceries delivered, even.”

Me: “Okay. So, you have to go see her, then?”

Patient: “What? No! She’s in the hospital. I can’t go see her.”

Me: “Are you having any of these symptoms?”

I read off a list of symptoms.

Patient: “As far as I know, I’m healthy as can be, except for the heart issues.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m confused. If you need the appointment, then why are you cancelling?”

Patient: “Because my aunt has [illness].”

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