It’s Like That Display Just Pop-ped Into Existence

, , | Right | February 19, 2019

(I’m checking out customers when a guy comes up to me, looking furious.)

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today? Find everything?”

Customer: “No. I need a f****** rain-check!”

Me: *taken aback* “Okay… For what product?”

Customer: “I want ten of the two-liter pops for $1 each!”

Me: “The two-liter [Soda]s?”

Customer: “Yeah! You gonna write it down or just stand around?!”

Me: *stares past him, at a massive display of two-liter pops, with the sign that says: “[Soda]: 10/$1”*

Customer: “The f*** you looking at?”

Me: *doesn’t answer, just points*

Customer: *looks where I’m looking* “HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO SEE THAT?!”

Me: “It’s visible as soon as you walk in, sir.”

Customer: “F*** YOU!” *storms out*

Time To Give Them An Education On Education

, , , | Right | February 16, 2019

(I work in a clothing store that is marketed towards and frequented by female teachers. I am just finishing up my undergrad in elementary education. We have a discount for teachers who can provide some sort of proof — ID, paystubs, etc. — that they’re teachers and I always like to talk to the people who ask about the discount and pick their brains about teaching.)

Customer: “You guys have a teachers’ discount, right? For 25% off?”

(She looks about my age, if not younger, which immediately makes me think she’s a student, and not actually a teacher, but I give her the benefit of the doubt.)

Me: “It’s actually 15% off, but only off of full-price items, and everything you’re getting today is on sale, so I can’t add it on top of that.”

Customer: “Oh, okay!”

Me: “What do you teach?”

Customer: “Oh, um, actually, I’m doing Teach for America.”

Me: “Nice. I’m just finishing studying education at [Local University] and I’ll be starting my student teaching in the fall.”

Customer: “I actually got a degree in advertising, but I’m going to New Mexico next year for the program.”

Me: “Ah, okay.”

(Girl, you’re a year out from the job and you want a discount? Get your non-education going-into-education BS away from me.)

Put It Back Versus Knock It Back

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2019

(I recently started working at a gas station. We were told to ID anyone who looks under 50 because the store recently had a problem with selling to minors. I’m working the register when a guy comes up with a single beer.)

Me: “Hey there! Can I get you anything else today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Can I see your ID for the beer, please?”

Customer: “I don’t have it on me.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, but I can’t sell to you unless you have your ID.”

Customer: “That’s okay. I’ll go put it back.”

(I’m thinking, “Whew, that went better than I thought it would,” and I continue waiting on customers. A few minutes later the guy comes back up with an empty can and tries to hand me money.)

Customer: “I drank this, and here is my money for it.”

Me: “What the…”

(He took the beer into our bathroom and drank the entire thing. I call my boss up to the store to see how she would like to handle this. She takes his money and he leaves the store.)

Me: “I’m pretty sure he drank that in the bathroom.”

Boss: “And that is why when we deny a sale we put the beer behind the counter.”

(We both had a great laugh about it, and I no longer let a customer “put it back.”)

A Biting Observation

, , , , | Right | February 10, 2019

(When my daughter is little we enjoy wandering through pet stores looking at the animals. This is overheard at one location.)

Woman #1: “Oh, look at those cute animals. What are they?”

Woman #2: “The sign says that they’re ferrets.”

Woman #1: “They don’t bite do they?”

Woman #2: “I’m sure they don’t. A pet store wouldn’t sell animals that bite.”

Daughter: “Mom, didn’t Grandpa tell us that once when he was hunting rabbits with his ferret that it bit him?”

Me: “Yes, he did.”

Daughter: “Why did those ladies think that animals don’t bite? Even my gerbils bite.”

Unfiltered Story #138989

, , | Unfiltered | February 4, 2019

(I am at a large retail store looking for something for my wife. I am wearing a T-shirt and some beige pants.)

Two Ladies: “Excuse me do you know where the Ice machines are?”

Me: “Uh… I look down at what I am wearing.”

One Lady: “HA! He’s all like “Do I look like I work here.””

They wander off without another word.

Me to myself: That is completely accurate.

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