(I’m cashiering and a customer and her teenage daughter come up to my register. Her daughter grabs a pair of large sunglasses from a nearby shelf and puts them on.)
Daughter: “Hey mom! Look! Swag!”
Customer: *Looks at the daughter, makes a face, then looks to me* “I am so sorry.”
(There are two associates on the floor assisting sales, and I am behind the register. An older lady comes into our store and instantly we can tell that she is irritable. My coworker greets her:)
Coworker: “Welcome to [Store]! Is there anything I can help you find?”
Customer: “No! I’m fine! I know what I need!”
(My coworker gives me a terrified look and walks away to help another customer. A few minutes later the lady comes up to the counter with a shopping bag FULL of product and throws it onto the counter.)
Customer: “You know, I love shopping here, I really do, but I simply cannot shop while that lady—” *points at my coworker* “—continuously hovers over me! I cannot shop under these conditions! I love this store, but you are getting none of my business today!”
(The lady then storms out of the store.)
Coworker: “All I said was hi.”
Me: “I guess that’s too much for some people.”
(My company does a variety of social service work, including homes for the elderly. It recently changed its name, and not all of our residents are happy about it. I am assigned to a booth handing out shirts, water bottles, and stickers with our new name to residents and visitors. Most people take the offered loot — old people love free stuff. But not everyone…)
Me: “Would you like a [New Company Name] t-shirt or water bottle? They’re free!”
Tiny Old Lady: *looks like a sweet grandma* “[New Company Name] isn’t my home. I didn’t move to [New Company Name]. I moved to [Old Company Name]. This is f****** bulls***, and I want no part of it.”
(I found a water bottle and some office swag with the old name on it and left them in her mailbox. I just wish I could have had her talk to the executives in charge of renaming.)
I don’t usually answer my personal phone at work, but A) the boss isn’t here and B) I recognize the number as one I’ve asked politely not to call me again, so my eye starts twitching and I have a serious need to tell them off again. Politely.
Caller: Hello! I am [caller] from [not my health insurance company]…
Me: I’m going to stop you right there. I’ve asked that you not call me anymore. I already got insurance through another company.
Caller: Ma’am, I believe I could help…
Me: No. Thank you. Please stop calling me. *hangs up*
I go back to work after setting the phone down and rolling my eyes. About a half hour later…there’s the same number calling.
Caller: Hello! This is…
Me: I know who you are and where you’re calling from and I’ve already politely asked two other people from your company to stop calling me. I am not interested. I’m happy with what I have.
Caller: But ma’am…
Me: *losing my patience* NO. I asked you to STOP. CALLING. ME. I am at work and you are interrupting my day. This is borderline harassment. STOP. CALLING. ME.
Caller: I think you’re missing out, but…
Me: *growls* NO. Listen to me RIGHT NOW. You will STOP calling this number or the next person you talk to will be MY LAWYER. Take my number out of your system. Forget my name. STOP CALLING.
Caller: *meekly* Yes ma’am…
Seriously?! I understand having to make quota on calls, but d***! What part of NO do people not get?! I rarely lose my s*** with anyone, but COME ON! They have yet to call back again, but if they do, I think my head might just explode.
I haven’t even gotten to open my email this morning when the first visitor – a hospice aide – comes in. She immediately has a bad attitude and I’m thinking ‘it is way too early for this s***’.
Me: Good morning!
Aide: Is one of those a bathroom? *nods towards two doors to the left*
Me: The second one is. *blinks as she stomps off* You’ll need to come back and sign in when you’re done.
Aide: *ignores me AND the sign on the door that says ‘office’ and tries the first door anyway* It’s locked. Why is it locked?
Me: Because that’s my boss’s office. The bathroom is the second door.
Aide: Well why didn’t you say so? *finally goes in door that has large BATHROOM sign on it*
Me: *eyetwitch*
I greet another visitor and chat with her for a minute while the aide goes about her bathroom business and finally comes back out, heading off in the wrong direction, away from my desk.
Me: Ma’am? Can you come back up here for a minute please?
Aide: *huffs* What?
Me: I’m sorry, you need to sign in please.
Aide: Ugh, fine. Where’s the book?
Me: It’s this tablet, here. *starts walking her through how to use it*
Aide: I don’t think I need to be doing this.
Me: I’m sorry, everyone has to, otherwise I can’t let you in. It’s for our residents’ security.
Aide: I really don’t think I need to do this though. *finishes signing in and starts to walk off again*
Me: Ma’am? Please put this on! *hands her a name badge that just printed out*
Aide: I have to show this? Can I put it away?
Me: No, ma’am, you need to stick it on yourself so my coworkers know you’re okay to be here.
Aide: This is ridiculous. *smacks name badge to her shirt, where it predictably falls to the floor because the genius didn’t take the sticky part off* What the h***…
Me: *barely resisting urge to facepalm self into a coma* You need to peel the backing off first.
Aide: GOD this is so stupid. *picks it off the floor and finally sticks it to herself and stomps off into the building, b******* under her breath*
Me: Have a good day!
I just…I don’t…IT’S NOT EVEN 7:30 YET FOR F**** SAKE! *cries*
