A Positive Day

| NB, Canada | Right | May 9, 2017

(I work at a drug store/pharmacy in Canada. It’s near close one night and my supervisor is doing expiries, aka checking for expired product and taking anything she finds off the shelf. I see her and another coworker talking and head over to see what’s up. My supervisor is holding a pregnancy test that’s clearly been opened.)

Coworker: “Someone opened this.”

Me: “Is it used?”

(The box and wrapped is open, but customers open random stuff all the time just to see what it looks like and such.)

Supervisor: “I’m not touching it!”

Coworker & Me: “Do it.”

(We finally manage to get her to gingerly pull out the test — there’s a cover on the stick part so it’s not like she’s going to touch pee — and she drops it on the floor.)

Supervisor: “It was used!”

Coworker: *picks out the test* “It’s positive.”

(We all felt pretty bad for the girl who came in, opened, and used a pregnancy test IN STORE, and had it come back positive. That sounded like a pretty crummy day.)

Photo Perfect Representation Of A Cheapskate

| AL, USA | Right | March 30, 2017

(I am a manager. I am called up to the front to perform a return on a passport photo without a receipt.)

Me: “Hi, so you need to return this passport photo?”

Customer: “Yes, the visa office said it wouldn’t work.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. I’ll get this taken care of. Now, without a receipt, I can only offer you store credit unless you have the card you purchased it with.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I don’t want store credit. I’d like cash. I paid with cash.”

Me: “Yes, I understand, but without a receipt, the only options I can provide you with are an exchange or store credit.”

Customer: “Just a moment. I know I kept that receipt.”

(The customer begins digging through purse. My cashier shoots me a look that lets me know that she had previously done this and no receipt was found. Two minutes pass.)

Customer: “Oh, here it is!” *hands me a receipt from our competitor*

Me: “No, ma’am, this is from [Competitor] and for breath mints.”

Customer: “Oh. I guess I’ll take store credit.”

(I run the transaction through and the customer leaves. Per policy, I shred the returned photos and throw the pieces away I think I am done for the day. Twenty minutes later…)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME, MISS!” *interrupting me helping another customer*

Me: “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be with you in one moment.” *goes back to ringing up customer*

Customer: “Well, I’ll be real quick. I need my photos back.”

Me: “Just one moment, ma’am, and I’ll help you.” *finishes with customer* “Ma’am, what photos are you referring to?

Customer: “That passport photo I just returned. I want it back.”

Me: “Ma’am, after I returned them, I shredded them for your protection. I could reprint them or retake a passport photo and ring you up, though.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to pay for it. Since the picture had my face, I wanted to keep it and get my refund. Why did you shred it?”

Me: *confused* “So you wanted your money back and to keep the picture?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you brought back a defective blood pressure monitor and returned it, I would keep the blood pressure monitor. I would not let you have the monitor and your money back.”

Customer: “But I wanted everything for free. I saw it on TLC and thought for sure it would work. I heard young women managers are usually nice about this thing.”

(I can only assume she meant ‘Extreme Couponing’ or ‘Extreme Cheapskates.’ She left after trying to convince my cashier to dig through the garbage and tape all the pieces together. Some people make me wonder about humanity.)

A Pharmalogical Liar

| AL, USA | Right | October 6, 2016

(I am checking out a customer. She then hands me a check made out to another pharmacy along with their loyalty card.)

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Drug Store].”

(Normally, people apologize and laugh and fix their check. This customer is altogether another story.)

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, this is [Drug Store], not [Pharmacy]. I just need you to change that on your check.”

Customer: “No, it’s not! I never shop at [Drug Store]! I hate them! Stop lying!”

Me: “Ma’am, I promise I know where I work.” *I point to my nametag and uniform with the name of my drug store on it*

Customer: “No, I hate [Drug Store]. I never shop there!” *she wags her finger in my face*

Me: “Well, you shopped here tonight!”

(She actually walks outside the door to read the sign outside before she believes me. The customer in line behind her is laughing as she leaves.)

Next Customer: “Little did you know the wrong company had been sending you paychecks all along!”

It’s The Funniest Thing

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | September 23, 2016

(I work at a popular drug store chain in Canada. We sell pretty much everything and I work in the cosmetics/skincare department. It’s rare that I get really ridiculous requests but this one was so memorable.)

Customer: “I need that thing that you put on your face. You know what I’m talking about.”

Me: “Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. Foundation, moisturizer…?”

Customer: “You know! You put it on the thing and then put it on your face!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to need you to be more specific. What does the product look like?”

(10 minutes later we’ve finally decided she was looking for moisturizer.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I need that make-up thing, you know…”

A Suction Reduction

| Fond du Lac, WI, USA | Right | August 31, 2016

(I am a 17-year-old girl. I’ve only been working here for a few weeks, so I’m still not sure about everything we stock and where every item is. A couple in their thirties comes up to me, looking a bit nervous.)

Man: “Do you… uh, have any little suction balls?”

Me: “Um, suction balls?”

Man: “Yeah, you know…” *he mines squeezing something like a turkey baster*

Me: “Oh! I think I know what you mean. We have suction things for cleaning babies’ noses. Is that what you want?”

(The couple exchange looks and start to giggle.)

Wife: “Well, that’s not what we’re going to use it for…”

(I turn around quickly before they can see how red my face has become. I show them what they are looking for, and after they leave I relay the story to my manager.)

Manager: “Yeah, if you’re going to work here during the evening shift you’re going to have to stop asking questions.”

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