No Need To Get Catty About It

, , , | Healthy | April 21, 2018

(I go to a human drugstore to get a new insulin vial for my diabetic cat, since his last one is expired. He’s been diagnosed and treated for four months now, and I have been handling his insulin shots every day, twice a day, ever since. I bring the old box with me, so I’m sure I’ll get the right one. In Brazil, you can have insulin over the counter, no prescriptions needed. Also, every drugstore has a fidelity card that offers discounts, and most of the health cares have partnerships that give you discounts; you just have to show your health care card. A third way to get a discount — a big one — is when you register with the manufacturer; it’s a long form you have to fill, with your doctor’s information, treatment details, etc.)

Me: “Hi, I’d like a small vial for this insulin.” *hands the box* “I also would like to check both fidelity and health care discounts.”

Employee: *cheerful* “You know, you could get the manufacturer’s discount for it.”

Me: “Yeah, I know, but it’s for my diabetic cat, so they couldn’t take us.”

Employee: *makes weird face*

Me: *uncomfortable, trying to be cheerful* “Yeah, unfortunately they didn’t accept felines for that. That’s a ‘humans-only’ kind of benefit.”

Employee: *goes to hand me the vial, backs off, looking at me as if I’m a child* “You know this needs to be kept on the fridge, right?”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I also need a ten-pack of syringes.”

Employee: *still making the weird face* “Syringes for what?”

Me: “Uh, insulin. I need the smaller ones, because he only takes two units at a time.”

Employee: *proceeds to teach me how to use the syringes, very patronizingly, ignoring the fact that I may know how to do it since I just gave her an empty box of insulin* “What gauge size you need?”

Me: “I never had to choose between gauge sizes, but since he’s a cat, I believe the smaller ones.”

Employee: “What size is he?”

Me: “Uh, cat size? About four kilos.”

Employee: *weird face*

Me: “Sooo, I guess I’ll take the small ones.”

Employee: *reluctantly gives me my stuff, still looking at me as if I was committing a crime*

We Don’t Have Changing Rooms For THAT

, , , | Right | March 27, 2018

(I am a cashier at a drug store. We get customers coming through with items of a personal nature all the time. We never comment on these items, so we don’t embarrass the customers. A man is checking out at my register.)

Me: “Hello! Did you find everything all right today?”

Customer: *acting a bit nervous* “Yes, thanks.”

(I make small talk with him as I ring up his items, not really paying attention to what they are.)

Customer: “Would you like to help me try those on?”

(Confused, I look at what I’ve just scanned; it’s a box of condoms.)

Me: “Sir, you need to leave now.”

Customer: “What? I… uh… It was a joke.”

Me: “It wasn’t funny! Are you going to leave, or do I need to get my manager?”

(He left. I told the manager about it, just in case the customer tried to accuse me of anything. The manager said I absolutely did the right thing. At the next store meeting he talked about what to do if customers behaved inappropriately with us.)

Email Fail, Part 14

, , , , , | Working | December 7, 2017

(I’ve had the same conversation with the employees at this store on a few different occasions.)

Cashier: *ringing up my purchases* “Are you in our computer system at all?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Would you like to be? I just need your email address and phone number.”

Me: “What does being in your computer system do?”

Cashier: “Nothing, right now. But we might add benefits in the future!”

Me: “I’m good, thanks.”

 

Related:
Email Fail, Part 13
Email Fail, Part 12
Email Fail, Part 11

Me No Speak Espaniano

, , , , , | Right | November 27, 2017

(I am the manager of a store in a neighborhood that is heavily populated with Cuban-American people. This exchange happens between a customer and my employee, Fernando.)

Customer: *speaks Spanish*

Fernando: “I’m sorry, sir; I don’t speak Spanish.”

Customer: *yelling in English* “You need to learn your roots and speak the mother-tongue of our people!”

Fernando: *pointing to his name badge* “Fernando… Italiano!”

Customer: *quietly walks out the door*

The Workforce Is Strong With This One

, | Michigan, USA | Healthy | October 31, 2017

(We have a giant inflatable ghost on display for Halloween. It doesn’t quite sit right and tends to lean to the side, so we frequently adjust it.)

Coworker: “[My name]! The ghost is falling again.”

Me: “Okay…”

(We spend about five minutes fiddling with it, until we get it to sit up right.)

Coworker: “Oh, no. His ascot got flipped backwards.”

(We proceed to grab boxes and stick-like things, trying to flip the ascot back around to no avail.)

Me: “OH! I’ve got it!”

(I run away with no explanation and return with a toy extendable lightsaber. I make the “vwing” noise and I flick it and extend the lightsaber. I succeed in straightening the ghost’s tie on the first attempt.)

Coworker: “…You just fixed the ascot of an inflatable ghost with a lightsaber.”

Me: “I love this job.”

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