Lack Of Military Intelligence

, , , , , | Right | April 1, 2019

(I’m manning the register at a chain drug store. It’s usually slow, but today two customers — a man and a woman — come in and they look over the newspapers for a while until they finally come up to me to buy one. The woman slams the newspaper onto the counter and jabs her finger at the headline. It’s something about the armed forces.)

Female Customer: “We’re in there. That’s us.”

Me: *confused, but ringing them up anyway* “In the article, the picture?” *tells them the total*

Female Customer: *starts to look upset and gestures angrily at the page* “I’m in the armed forces; I served.”

Me: *giving her her change, visibly confused but smiling* “T-Thank you for your service. Would you like your receipt?”

Female Customer: *scoffs, snatches the paper, and starts to walk away* “You have no clue what I’m saying, do you?”

(No. And to this day, I still don’t.)

Unfiltered Story #144721

, , | Unfiltered | March 23, 2019

(I’m a supervisor at a national chain drug store/pharmacy and I get this call one night)

Store Intercom: [My Name], help the caller on line 1 please, [My Name], line 1.

Me: This is [My Name], how can I help you tonight?

Caller: Yes, I was wondering if you had [Brand] of women’s incontinence underpants, not the pads, but the underpants.
(I can tell she’s definitely older.)

Me: OK, I understand, let me go take a look ma’am, and if we have them I’ll have the prices for ya when I get back.

Caller: Thank you.

(I go and I look and I bring the products back to the phone with me)

Me: OK ma’am I have two [Brand] women’s underpants. One covers size [size to size] for [price], and the other covers size [size to size] for [price].

Caller: …

Me: …

Caller: I…I don’t know what this means.

Me: You asked me if we hadna product, and I just told you that we did, what sizes we had and how much they were.

Caller: Ok.

Me: Ok.

Caller: …

Me: …

Caller: …Goodbye!

(I don’t know what she was expecting.)

Wireless, Clueless, And Racist

, , , , , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(I’m working at a retail drug store that has a photo kiosk available for customers to come in and print photos from their phone. I am ringing up a line of customers when another customer calls me from the kiosk, yelling across the store.)

Customer: “Can I get some help, please?!”

Me: “Absolutely, ma’am. I’ll call up my manager, since I’m the only cashier today.”

Customer: *scoffs*

(I call up my manager, and can hear her trying to help the lady from several feet away.)

Manager: “Just plug your phone into the cords we have provided. That’s the simplest and fastest way to do this.”

Customer: “No! You’re going to steal all my information from my phone! I want to do this wirelessly!”

Manager: “Okay… the best way to do that is to do it as an online order, which may take up to an hour. We will be watching the kiosks, so as soon as the order comes through, we can print it instantly. However, as I said, it may take up to an hour for the order to come through. I highly recommend you plug the phone in, instead, as that will be much quicker.”

Customer: “I’m not using your cords. You’re trying to steal my credit card information! I’ll just do it as an online order.”

(The customer proceeds to put in an online order with her phone. Ten minutes later, her order has not yet come through, despite both my manager and I checking the kiosk repeatedly. My manager goes to the bathroom and is gone for a total of one minute and thirty seconds. During that time, the customer brings her four-year-old daughter up to me and screams:)

Customer:If and when those photos finally come in, you can throw them out. I’m taking my business somewhere else. I’ve been waiting for these photos for thirty minutes! This is absolutely ridiculous! That [racial slur] of a manager promised me that they would be ready instantly. I’m leaving and never coming back!”

Me: “Ma’am, I heard her tell you that it could take up to an hour, and I heard you agree to this. Are you sure I can’t take a phone number and call you when they’re ready?”

Customer: “No! Throw them out. I’m going elsewhere.”

(As they are leaving her daughter turns around and says:)

Daughter: “We’re going to [Direct Competitor].”

(Her photos were ready seconds after she left. There were over 300 photos and we had to just throw them away.)

He’s Talking A Totally Different Ball Game

, , , , | Right | March 14, 2019

(I’m in a store I don’t technically work for, but I am counting their inventory. I’m near the candy aisle. Customers love to think that I actually work for the store, and since I know certain aspects well, I will generally help them out.)

Customer: “You guys don’t have malted milk balls here?”

Me: “If you look, there’s either Maltesers or Whoppers in this aisle.” *thinking: they are essentially malted milk balls, just with brand names*

Customer: *is not having what I just suggested* “Nope, nope. You guys don’t have malted milk balls, and they are so good.”

(Well, you can’t help everyone.)

Unfiltered Story #142735

, , | Unfiltered | March 6, 2019

I needed a few things from the local discount drugstore one evening around 9:40, and the store was open until 10. I was walking around with my cart when the announcement was made that the store was closing in 5 minutes. I only needed shampoo and conditioner at that point so I did a quick scan of the shelves and found what I wanted. When I walked up to the register to check out there was no one there. I waited a few minutes and when no one came I decided to walk back to the pharmacy counter, where I found no one. I started calling out “excuse me, hello”?! It dawned on me I was completely alone in the store. I tried the door and it was locked. At this point some very shameful thoughts went through my mind. My conscience won however, and I used my cellphone to call the local police and told them of my predicament. They took my name and info and said they would call me back, which they did after 10 minutes. They told me to go to the back of the store, behind the pharmacy counter and push the emergency door open and exit there. I was expecting alarms to be triggered when I did it; but nothing happened. I exited the store, walked around to my car and left and never heard another word about it from the store or the police!! Very strange!!

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