This happened in mid-October when the weather was still nice where I live. I went to our local grocery chain to grab a few things I needed for dinner. I wasn’t using a cart, just a basket. I was wearing a light blue polo, but the store dress code was a dark blue polo with the store logo and khakis. I was wearing jean shorts that in no way were too short but definitely wouldn’t be allowed for any employee of a grocery store

My oldest son, who is three and a half, loves to go to the store and do anything that involves getting out of the house, so I decided to let him tag along and leave his other brother at home with Dad. Grocery trips for us are kind of like our little Mom-and-Son dates, and I usually let him pick out a toy or a treat of some kind. Since outings aren’t happening as often since the [global health crisis], I try to keep things normal and exciting for him.

About twenty minutes into our trip, I had grabbed the few vegetables I needed, and I was just shopping around the canned goods aisle to grab some things I might need in the future. I was putting a can of something back in exchange for a larger version that I didn’t see at first when I heard:

Woman: “MA’AM, I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE RIGHT THIS INSTANT!”

I figured someone was just being an a** to a nearby worker and carried on. Thirty seconds later, the yelling woman grabbed my arm and pulled me around.

Me: “Excuse me! Can I help you?!”

Woman: “I know you heard me! Help me find the molasses now!”

Me: “I don’t work here, clearly, so how about no? And don’t touch me again. As a matter of fact, we’re in a pandemic and you’re not even wearing a mask, so get away from me.”

Woman: “I have COPD! I can’t wear one! Where is your manager?! That’s a violation for you to even ask about my medical condition! Now—” *gesturing to [Son]* “—go find this child’s parents instead of dilly-dallying around, like you’re supposed to, or else I’ll tell the manager you weren’t gonna give this child back!”

I was completely stunned and pissed.

Me: “For one, I didn’t ask about your medical condition; I said to get away from me since you are above health codes. How dare you accuse me of stealing a child?! Again, I don’t work here, lady, and this stolen child happens to be my son. Are you okay?!”

Woman: “Yes, you did! You did ask me, you little b****! I know you’re a little rotten liar who doesn’t want to get in trouble! Now take me to the manager! You’re no older than sixteen. Who are you keeping this child from?!”

Me: “I am twenty-five years old! He came from my vagina and is my son! I. Do. Not. Work. Here. Get the h*** away from me before I get a manager myself. You are scaring my son!”

[Son] was visibly scared and on the verge of tears at that point.

Woman: “HE LOOKS SCARED BECAUSE YOU STOLE HIM!”

Me: “So now, I’m no longer finding his parents but stole him on the clock?!”

Woman: “SEE?! YOU JUST ADMITTED IT! YOU DO WORK HERE!”

By then, [Son] was crying, so I just grabbed his hand and walked to find a manager as fast as I could. The woman was screaming behind me that she was getting a manager and that I was kidnapping a child, so people were starting to look.

I finally found the manager, and it didn’t take much to explain the situation as the woman was trailing behind me screaming as I spoke to him. He very quickly confirmed that I did not work there. Then, he told the woman to leave for making such accusations and not adhering to local health department guidelines.

The woman, of course, refused, and she started causing an even bigger scene about how we were trafficking humans in the store. She eventually called 911 to report a kidnapping.

She ended up getting arrested in front of a good 150 people. I basically just had to tell the cops my situation and how the woman was following me throughout the store accusing me of stealing my own son, and that was that. I went home and got on with the rest of my day.

[Woman], I sincerely hope a jar of molasses was worth a trip to jail and you received the mental health care you clearly need.

A friend of mine owns a restaurant, which has not been easy during the past few years, as you can imagine. When the hard lockdowns fell and restaurants and bars could open again, there were some pretty rigid rules and very stiff fines.

One such rule was a curfew at 10:00 pm, and you’d better not break it because that fine was huge. Our president was actually hit with one and, to his credit, he paid it without questioning it and made a public apology for his misconduct.

As we were approaching 10:00 and people were ushered out of the restaurant, one person tried to come in.

Customer: “You open?”

Friend: “Nope, we’re closing. Curfew, 10:00 pm, no can do, sorry.”

Customer: “I just want a coffee.”

Friend: “Sorry, curfew.”

Customer: “C’mon, make an exception. I need one.”

Friend: “Sure, that will be €3,003.50.”

Customer: “What? Are you insane?”

Friend: “€3.50 for the coffee, and €3,000 for the fine I’ll have to pay for serving it. Take it or leave it.”

The man left — it and the restaurant.

Our store has just fully reopened after lockdowns, but management is mandating that customers be vaccinated. Of course, this goes down with certain groups of the population about as well as can be expected.

Customer: “You can’t force me to take a vaccine!” 

Manager: “No one is forcing you, ma’am, but we also don’t have to let you into the store.”

Customer: “It’s my right as an American to go where I please without being forced to be vaccinated!”

Manager: “This store is private property, ma’am, and we can exercise our right to deny you entry.”

Customer: “Freedom has been a right in this country since 1776! Vaccinations are an attack on those freedoms! George Washington is turning in his grave right now!”

Manager: “George Washington made Congress force all his troops in the Revolutionary War to be inoculated against smallpox, ma’am. Please try again.”

I’ve started a new job in retail, and it’s one of my first weeks on register duty. I am still learning the keys. Keying in multiple items, e.g., ten chocolate bars, instead of scanning them one by one requires a supervisor code.

A well-dressed man comes through my line with thirty-two cups of instant noodles of varying flavours and varying amounts of each. I lose count with all the beeps and all of the slightly different cups, so I accidentally ring up thirty-five cups.

He pays and the receipt prints. He checks it and immediately has half his body shoved through a gap in the Plexiglas screen. (This is during social distancing.)

Customer: “What are you trying to do here? I bought thirty-two, and you rang up thirty-five!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it was an honest mistake. Let me just—” 

Customer: “‘Honest mistake’, my a**! That was intentional so you lowlifes can steal my money!”

Me: “I can assure you, sir, I merely miscounted, but if I could just—” 

Customer: “How hard can it be to count? Did you fail math class?”

Me: “It was an honest mistake because it’s so many—”

Customer: “I bet that’s what you always do with the old ladies to rip them off! They’re old and senile, so they won’t notice you pocketing some extra money!”

I drag my wallet out of my pocket.

Me: “You know what, sir? I overcharged you — what, three times forty cents. Here, you can have 1.20€ out of my own pocket; you clearly need it more than a broke university student.”

Customer: “How dare you?! I want to speak to your boss!”

Me: “He is not in anymore; he already went home. He will be here tomorrow after eight.”

Customer: “Give me his name! And your name! I will complain about you! I will write a letter!”

At this point, the young woman behind him interrupts his tirade and screams at him.

Next Customer: “Just piss off already! Seeing how you dress, you’d think you’re well-off, but to be such a b**** over such a minor mistake?! F****** cheapskate! You got your money, so take your s***ty cup-noodles and f*** off!”

The man just went, “Well, I never!”, huffed, and finally did f*** off.

The woman, the coworker on a register behind me, and I had a good laugh about that man.

This is during the time when our store requires customers to wear a mask before they can enter. One such customer is taking issue with this and has demanded our manager, who is repeating the policy.

Manager: “Sir, for everyone’s health we require you to wear a mask when inside the store, and I am not debating or apologizing for that.”

Customer: “You’re just sheep! More sheep following the lies that the government is feeding you! One day, we’ll expose the truth, and you’ll see all the lies you’ve been eating up!”

Manager: “Like I said, sir, I am not debating this issue, so if you’re not going to wear one of the masks we can provide for you, then—”

Customer: “One day, the firmament will fall, and all you sheep will see that the Earth is not a sphere and that you’ve been lied to from day one!”

My manager is silent for a moment. I think this is partly due to the “out there” turn this conversation just took, but also because he doesn’t like to be interrupted so is letting this crazy customer just wear himself out.

Customer: “Well?!”

Manager: “Well… stupidity isn’t a crime, so feel free to go.” *Turns around and leaves*

The anti-mask flat-earther just stood there with no one to direct his ranting energy to for a moment, and then he just deflated and left.