Why “Take Your Kid To Work Day” Never Took Off

, , , , , , , | Working | July 29, 2020

Times being what they are, everyone in my office is working from home, and meetings are all being done via conference call.

During one such call, I’m in the midst of explaining a problem that I’ve been working on and what I’m going to need to resolve it, when suddenly one of my coworkers — a woman a few years older than me — breaks in and says very sternly, “Well, I’m gonna need you to be a big boy and DEAL WITH IT.”

The call goes silent, everyone stunned for a moment at such a rude comment, when somebody else on the call, who is a bit quicker on the uptake than the rest of us, says, “[Coworker], you’re not on mute.”

Coworker: “Oh! I’m sorry. My kid was bothering me about something. He knows he’s not supposed to talk to me when I have my headset on unless it’s an emergency.”

Me: “Oh, thank goodness! I thought you were using your Mom voice on me!

Then, everyone laughed, and it took a few minutes to restore order and get on with the meeting.


This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

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He’s Been A Major Problem Since He Was A Minor

, , , , , , | Right | July 29, 2020

I have not only been recently promoted into management, but I’ve also been moved to a bigger store during the current health crisis. This is my third week at my new store and my first shift not only working as a solo manager, but the closing manager, as well.

I’m a twenty-eight-year-old, five-foot-tall white woman with blonde and blue hair, tattoos, and piercings.

About an hour into the closing shift, I get an emergency call from a cashier while I’m doing paperwork. I quickly hurry over to see what the problem is.

Me: “Hi, I’m [My Name]. What’s going on here and how can I help?”

The customer is a younger white guy, somewhere in his early to mid-twenties.

Customer: “Yeah! I’ve been coming into the store for four years now, and I’ve always paid with credit, and it’s never asked for the last four digits of my card before!”

The customer jerks a finger to point at the next cashier, a white guy in his early twenties. During this time, my two opening cashiers have gotten off and are in line to make purchases of their own.

Customer:He checked me out last week and didn’t ask for my last four digits! I don’t trust her to ring me up!”

The cashier he’s pointing at is an African-American woman around my age. Up until this point, she’s been as polite as possible in retail, but at this she gets justifiably offended.

Cashier #1: “Sir, as I told you, the register won’t let me finish your sale without the last four digits of your card. If you’d like, you can come over here and verify for yourself.”

Customer: “I SAID I WANTED TO TALK TO THE MANAGER!”

The two cashiers who are off and the two who are working all point to me and speak in unison.

All: “She is the manager!”

The customer finally gives me the last four digits of his credit card, signs the PIN pad, and then storms off and rams himself halfway into the door on his way out.

Before I can say anything, [Cashier #1] pipes up.

Cashier #1: “I checked his ID; he was 22.”

Cashier #2: “I’ve never seen him before, either.”

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Not Thinking Outside The PO Box, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | July 28, 2020

I go to drop off packages at the post office, and the line is outside because of health and safety requirements, so I stand in line, too.

I finally get inside and there are six people standing around waiting to just drop off packages. The working folks are busy so they don’t pay any mind to us. I’m a bit frustrated because usually you just drop them off.

So, we are all standing there, and I turn slightly to my right. There is a huge box with a sign that says that prepaid drop-offs can go in this box. I say, “Ha! A box! I just had to read the sign!”

I drop my things in said box and leave. As I leave, I hear a collective groan and three other people say, “Read the signs!” as they toss their boxes in the box and leave, too.

Related:
Not Thinking Outside The PO Box

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Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward, Part 3

, , , , , , | Romantic | July 27, 2020

I’m at home. A friend is staying with me due to quarantine. While she is on Facebook, she tells me there is a new Ben and Jerry’s flavor called “Netflix and Chill.” I have been single for five years.

Me: “So I’ll finally be able to get some Netflix and chill!”

Friend: “It is peanut butter ice cream; you’re allergic to peanuts.”

Me: “Maybe I should start thinking about becoming a nun, since not even ice cream will let me have some Netflix and chill.”

Related:
Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward, Part 2
Leave It To Ben & Jerry To Make Things Awkward

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Doesn’t He Know That Redshirts Always Die?

, , , , , , , | Right | July 27, 2020

I work at a pizza place that has an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet and salad bar at a pretty cheap price. Due to the global health crisis, we have added several safety precautions such as no more than six people per table, no moving tables together, and applying hand sanitizer and gloves before using the buffet/salad bar.

One morning, a group of about twenty senior citizens comes into the restaurant right when it opens and they move a bunch of tables and chairs together. It ends up being about fourteen people at one table and five at another. Of course, the only reason they didn’t have all of them at the same table was that there was no room to add another table.

I tell them the policy about no more than six. This guy in a red shirt says, “What are you, the cops?” so I get the manager, but he says to let it slide. It’s not a decision I agree with, but he is the boss. So, I do.

A little bit later, guess who goes to the buffet? Red Shirt Guy. Of course, he doesn’t apply hand sanitizer or gloves, so we tell him to not use the buffet until he does, and he ignores us. When we ask him, he says again, “What are you, the cops?” before, thankfully, doing as requested.

Then, Red Shirt Guy goes to get a salad. I’m sure you can see where this is going.

We ask him, in the interest of the health and safety of the other customers, that he apply gloves and hand sanitizer before using the salad bar.

“What are you, the cops?” Then, he asks if we are going kick him out.

I tell him that I would be happy to ask the manager to do so. I go to get the manager and then the guy tries it again! So, I tell him, louder and firmer, for the interest of the health and safety of the other customers, to please use gloves and hand sanitizer before using the salad bar.

The manager tells him to follow the rules or he will be kicked out. The guy doesn’t cause anymore commotions, and I probably would chalk it up to just another entitled jerk if it wasn’t for the last thing.

A little bit before the Red Shirt Guy leaves, he calls me over and “apologizes.” He says that he just wanted to “push the envelope.” So, basically, he just wanted to see how much of an a**hole he could be before he got kicked out. He never “apologized” to the coworker in charge of the salad bar and buffet who he harassed more than me. What an a**hole.

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