Taxing Their Brain Cells

, , , , | Right | July 8, 2021

I’m a cashier for a tool shop, checking out an older customer.

Customer: “Can I pay the Utah tax and not the California tax because I’m from Utah, not California.

My brain goes blue screen of death for five seconds.

Me: “…No.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “You pay California taxes because you’re in California…”

He paid the California tax.

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Your Pricing Holds No Quart With Me

, , , | Right | June 25, 2021

I work at a hardware store, in the paint department. Customers often ask for half-gallons, but we only sell in gallons and quarts. A customer comes up to me asking for a particular color.

Customer: “I’d like a half-gallon of [color] in flat.”

Me: “Sorry, but unfortunately, we don’t carry half-gallons. We sell gallons and quarts.”

Customer: “Oh, all right. Then I’ll take two quarts.”

Me: “I can make that for you if you’d like, but just to let you know, the price of two quarts is only about a dollar less than getting a gallon. I know that doesn’t make sense mathematically, but it’s the way the store prices them.”

Customer: “But I don’t need that much paint.”

Me: “I understand, and I’ll make the two quarts if you like. I’m just letting you know that the gallon is more cost-effective.”

Customer: “I’ll take the two quarts.”

Me: “All right. I’ll have that ready for you in five minutes.”

I enter the order into the system, then go to get the two quarts. I set them up and put the tint into the first can. As the tint starts pouring into the second, the customer comes back to me.

Customer: “Oh, I just noticed that a gallon is only about a dollar more than getting two quarts. I’ll take the gallon, instead.”

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Blowing Your Top Is Also Blowing Your Chances At Getting Served

, , , | Right | June 21, 2021

At our store, it’s perfectly acceptable to hand customers off to other coworkers who are more knowledgeable about certain items and whatnot. I greet a customer as he walks into the store.

Me: “How are you doing today, sir? Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah, you a**holes had better have [specific product].”

Me: *A bit taken aback* “We’ll do our best to find that for you, sir.”

I go to where the associated products are and can’t find it. The customer is just glaring at my back, occasionally muttering expletives under his breath.

Me: “Let me grab one of my associates real quick; it’s my first week here and I’m still learning the store.”

The customer grumbles a rude affirmative, and I go to grab another coworker. I follow the customer and my coworker to the location so I will know where it is in the future. As we’re walking to the item, the customer spins on me.

Customer: *Loudly* “What the f*** are you following me for?”

Shocked, I begin to respond, when my coworker cuts in.

Coworker: “Sir, there’s no reason to speak rudely to him when he’s just trying to do his job and learn where new items are. If you can’t speak civilly or politely to us, then we will kindly ask you to leave the store.”

The customer turns beet red and starts shouting all manner of curse words at my coworker and me as we gradually herd him to the front door and out of the store.

Coworker: “Have a good day, sir. Please understand that you are no longer welcome to shop at this store. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.”

Most customers are very understanding when we explain that we’re handing them off to another coworker or that we’re inexperienced in some area, but completely blowing your top is absolutely unacceptable behavior.

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Judging You By A Hidden Yard-Stick

, , , , , | Right | June 11, 2021

Me: “Hello, what can I help you find?”

Customer: “Yes, I need some chicken wire for my yard.”

Me: “Okay, follow me and I’ll show you where it is.”

We get to the chicken wire.

Customer: “I need enough that will cover my yard.”

Me: “Okay, do you know how big your yard is?”

Customer: “No! You work here. Shouldn’t you know how big my yard is and how much I’ll need?”

Me: “Sir, I’ve never been to your house to see your yard, so I don’t know how much you’ll need.”

Customer: “Well, I’ll just buy two rolls, and if it isn’t enough, I will be back and tell your boss to get you fired since you obviously don’t do your job right.”

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This Transaction Is Not Picture Perfect

, , , | Right | June 6, 2021

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, sir, how may I help you?”

Customer: *Shows me a picture on their phone* “I have this bolt at home. Which size nut do I need?”

Me: “There is absolutely no way to tell the exact size of a bolt from a picture, sir.”

Customer: “Can’t you take a guess?”

Me: “No, sir. Since there’s nothing to compare the size to in the picture, it could be literally any size. And since bolts are measured very precisely anyway, I wouldn’t be comfortable taking a guess even if you put a ruler in the background. You need to either measure it or bring it in.”

Customer: “You’re no help! I’ll go find someone who knows what they’re talking about!”

I have had variations of this conversation about everything from curtain rods to machine parts.

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