I work for a tool shop. This guy comes in, clearly on something, and asks to return an item.

Me: “Sir, our store discontinued that item three years ago.”

Customer: “I bought it five days ago! I need the money back to feed my daughter. She’s starving!”

I tell him the policy on returns.

Me: “That item is no longer in the system. I can’t do your return.”

Customer: *Irate* “I want a manager!”

My manager tells him the same thing. He’s still angry but he leaves.

A few minutes later, we get a call and I answer. It’s someone that wants to talk to the manager.

Me: “What is this regarding? Maybe I can help. My manager is ringing out a customer right now.”

Customer: “I just tried returning an item and I was refused because it was out of policy because of it being discontinued.”

I go blue screen of death for a minute and realize it is the guy from a few minutes ago.

Me: “Please hold.” *To my manager* “The guy who wanted to make that return is on the phone.”

Manager: “Wait, what?”

She picks up the phone, tells him the same policy, and hangs up. He comes back inside.

Customer: “I’m going to get my truck and drive it through your window unless you do my return! Don’t you care about a starving child?!”

Thankfully, security was in the building and escorted the guy from the building. We never heard from him again. Security made sure we had protection for the rest of the shift until closing. We tried calling the police, but they never came. It was pretty scary.

We sell industrial supplies. I’m female, which makes you really unknowledgeable in some customers’ eyes.

Caller: “I was looking for a 1/2″ reamer… Oh, shoot! I forgot to write down your part number. I only have that description.”

Me: “That’s all right. I can look it up from your description. Spiral or straight flute?”

Caller: *Talking over me* “Hold on, let me see if I can find it.”

Me: “Not to worry. I have our reamers pulled up. Did you need a spiral or straight flute?”

Caller: “Sorry, darling, don’t you worry. It’ll be just a minute.”

I speak a little louder, as I think maybe he didn’t hear me.

Me: “Did you need a spiral or straight flute?”

Caller: *Irritated* “Listen here, little missy. I said what I needed was a—” *drags it out slowly* “—reeaaamerrrrr.”

Me: *In my sweetest, iciest voice* “Yes, and I was asking if you needed a spiral or straight flute for that 1/2″ reamer.”

The caller is silent for a moment and then says, meekly:

Caller: “Spiral flute.”

Me: “High-speed steel okay?”

Caller: *Still meekly* “Yes.”

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

I work in a hardware store that has a large paint department — three aisles of paint, twenty to thirty shades of every color, and six different grades of paint. I watch a customer come up to the paint desk and say:

Customer: “I need a gallon of something.”

He didn’t specify anything about what he wanted, just “a gallon of something.”

My dad, my husband, and I are at a popular hardware store. I’m in another aisle and so miss the first part of this interaction, but my dad fills me in later. He is speaking with my husband and standing a little ways into the center of the aisle when he notices a couple of customers want to pass by. He steps to the side and offers an apology.

Customer: *Loudly and sarcastically* “Yeah, I bet you’re really sorry!”

Dad: *Confused* “I… Yes. I said I was sorry I was in your way.”

My dad and husband leave the aisle and move toward where I am, and I start to catch the conversation. The couple FOLLOWS them, with the man continuing to yell about how rude my dad was, how he should have known the store would be crowded, etc. Dad apologizes yet again, and I walk over to see if I need to intervene before the man finally walks away in a huff.

Dad: *After explaining what happened* “What the h*** was that about?”

Me: “I think he was looking for a reason to be angry. Hope he doesn’t take it out on some poor cashier, too.”

Good luck to anyone else who even remotely inconvenienced that guy!

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 10
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 9
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 8
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 7
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 6

Customer: “I need… warshmalabber.”

Employee: “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What exactly do you need?”

Customer: “Uh… I need, um, wamshlabber.”

Employee: “I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “You know, a warshlamber. For indoor plumbing.”

Employee: “Could you describe it?”

Customer: *Suddenly looking embarrassed* “I have no idea what it is. I just hoped I could make the same noises my boss did and not have to tell him I had no idea what he meant.”