I work at a hardware store. We will accept returns if the customer has at least ONE of the following: their receipt, their rewards card, or their driver’s license.
It was raining outside and the store was really slow, when all of a sudden a lady comes flying through the door. I’m actually not a cashier, but I’ve been trained how to do returns and I just happened to be behind the counter collecting merchandise to return it to the sales floor.

Lady: I NEED TO EXCHANGE THESE STRING LIGHTS!
Me: OK sure, what’s wrong with them?
Lady: Well, my husband replaced the fuse in them and now they won’t work.
I stared at her for about 5 seconds and thought really? YOUR HUSBAND broke them and you want me to give you new ones? To try and avoid an argument, I just agreed to do it.
Me: Sure, go get another of the same off the shelf and I’ll process and exchange.
She comes back with another box and I start the transaction.
Me: Do you have your receipt?
Lady: No.
Me: Do you have your rewards card?
Lady: No.
Me: Then I’ll need to see your driver’s license.
Lady: I don’t have it. It’s raining, my husband dropped me off at the front door.
Me: I need at least one of those things to do an exchange.
Lady: Can’t you just take these back and let me have the new ones?
Me: No, I need a receipt, a rewards card, or an ID.
Lady: THIS IS BULLSHIT. It’s raining! You’re going to make me walk to the truck in the rain!?!?!?
Me: Well if you want to exchange the lights, I need one of those things from you.
Lady: BULLSHIT!
She slams her fists on the counter and storms out, which prompts 3 other employees to come over to me. I handed the head cashier everything and told her good luck!
(I went to go do what I was originally doing. I learned later that the lady cussed out 3 employees for making her go back to her truck in the rain. We were ALL in a bitter mood for a while after that.)

(I’m getting ready to check out at a big-box home improvement store. I’m placing my items on the belt when I notice a reflective sticker with the numeral zero off to the side of the belt. It’s not unusual; sometimes people decide they don’t want something and leave it off to the side.)

Cashier: *pointing at the sticker* “Is that your Zero?”

Me: *faux indignant* “That means nothing to me!”

(My kids giggled, being used to my “dad humor.” The cashier didn’t even crack a smile.)

( I work at a very popular hardware store with a lumber yard. Store policy is when an item is sold by the foot, we need to measure it. And to ensure we do, security cameras watch us. This particular day, Im working the lumber yard register. a couple had a vey large cart with many items, including LOTS moulding, which is sold by the foot. I Grab a calculator for this one)

Me: (scans moulding. Register prompts for total feet. I grab the piece and place it against the affixed ruler.)

Customer: Thats 13 feet

Me: Im sorry, sir. But store policy is i must measure each piece. (Grabs next piece to measure)

Customer: Thats 10 feet.

Me: Sir, I have to measure it. We have cameras watching us.

Customer: This is B***S***. Youre just racist against Muslims. Your assuming Im lying to you because Im a Muslim.

(I never noted the color of his skin. Also I noticed at this point, all the moulding is the same and he has at least 25 pieces.)

Me: Im sorry, sir, but it is store policy.

Customer: (grabs all the pieces, and throws them in front of my register) I dont want them then! (Mutters something and i hear something about “Islamaphobia”)

(I continue to check him out. He leaves and I gather the moulding to take back. One of my associates saw the entire thing and helps me gather the pieces. The customer called the manager and told him i was being racist toward him. Thanks to my associate and the handy dandy videos, his complaint was unwarrantes)

(I’m covering for a colleague in a section dedicated to plumbers and electricians, and both doors into this area have this written on it, an older man walks in)
Me: Hello there! Can I take your postcode?
(The man gives it to me)
Me: You don’t seem to be signed up sir, are you a qualified plumber or electrician?
Customer: No!
(I peak over to the main side, it’s completely quiet)
Me: I apologise sir, but this is a dedicated service for plumbers or electricians, if you go through the door to the right you’ll progress to the main counter.
Customer: I came here because I wanted to buy electrics! Your door is misleading!
Me: *to supvervisor when the customer is gone* Someone doesn’t know the difference between ‘plumbers and electricians’ and ‘plumbing and electrics’.
Supervisor: People are stupid and don’t read.
Me: I worked in a cinema, don’t go there on people who don’t read…

(I am managing a closing shift and we are five minutes from shutting off lights and locking doors. A customer and his wife come in, pick a few items, and bring them up to the registers. I am standing by, waiting to let the last few people out. The customer approaches me:)

Customer: “Excuse me. I have a few questions for you about this grill.”

(He has picked out a very small camp-type stove — one of those two-burner jobs that run on small, disposable propane canisters.)

Me: “Sure, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Do you know if this is a good one?”

Me: “I don’t own one personally, but I have an older variation. My wife and I have used it a lot and really like it.”

Customer: “If we don’t like it, can we return it?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but once it’s been used, I can’t take it back.”

Customer: “Really? That seems like an odd policy.”

Me: “The thing is, once it has been used we can’t sell it to another customer and can’t get credit through the manufacturer unless it has a defect. Sorry.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you can help me… I just want to know how something will taste when made on this grill.”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “You know how the local fire station does those pancake breakfasts?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “What I’m after is that firehouse pancake taste, only when we go camping. Will this grill do it?”

Me: “Firehouse pancake taste?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “I… um… I guess it would depend on what kind of batter they’re using, and to some small degree, what type of grill. If they’re using propane or charcoal, you may have some variation between tastes, but for the most part, it will depend largely on batter.”

Customer: “So, do you think this one will give me the firehouse taste I’m looking for?”

Me: “Sir… do you know what kind of batter they’re using?”

Customer: “Well, a pancake is a pancake. I just wanted to get that firehouse pancake taste, and I want to know if this grill will do it. It’s a simple question.”

Me: *trying to speak idiot on short notice* “The grill really won’t have much bearing on how it tastes. I would say if you’re using the same batter and following a similar process to what they’re using, then yes, it should.”

Customer: “So, you’ll guarantee this grill will make firehouse taste pancakes?”

Me: “I can’t guarantee that. My best advice would be to do a little research, perhaps ask someone running the grill at the fire station, and then purchase ingredients based on what they tell you.”

Customer: “So… this grill won’t make them taste the same?”

(In my mind, I say, “F*** it.”)

Me: “YES. It definitely will. Have a good time camping!”