This Customer Has A Screeching Ignition

, , , , | Right | February 21, 2021

I pull into a parking space at my local hardware store. When I get out of my truck, I notice that the car next to mine has the keys in the ignition and the doors unlocked. I go straight to the service desk to let them know. They make an announcement:

Announcement: “Will the owner of a [vehicle] with [license plate] please return to your vehicle?”

Okay, good deed done. Time to get on with my day, right? Yeah, not so much. I get about three feet or so away when I see a woman run up to the counter, and the SCREECHING starts. Literally no warning or questioning, just straight into:

Customer: “What the f*** is your problem?! I can park anywhere I f****** want! Where is your manager, you b****?!”

It continues for a while, and I decide that if I can’t do a good deed for the day, I can at least have fun being a jerk.

I walk back out to the parking lot, and since I have a notepad with my shopping list and a pen to mark things off, I write this note.

Note: “I saw your keys in the ignition, and I was the one who had you paged so that your car wouldn’t be stolen. What I didn’t know was how horrible you are. The employees here do not deserve anything like what you did to them. Your keys are under your seat.”

I put the note under the windshield wiper, pulled her keys out of the ignition, and threw them under the seat, and just before I closed the door, I locked it. I moved my truck a few spots over, went back into the store, and finished my shopping. There was a locksmith vehicle on its way into the lot as I was leaving… for some reason.

Whether my response was appropriate or not, I’m not losing any sleep over it.

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This Guy Is Nuts And We Wish He’d Bolt

, , , , | Right | February 12, 2021

I have just graduated college (with honors) for Graphic Design and have my BA in it and everything. I am looking for design work, but I work at a nationwide hardware store to make some money to pay some bills and whatnot.

We have a complete aisle dedicated to loose nuts and bolts and whatnot. We have numerous bright orange signs there CLEARLY stating that, even though we have the SKU on the boxes, we only need the quantity and price for us to ring it up and the SKU does nothing in the machine.

One day, I have this guy come in and get some items. He tosses his bag of nuts and bolts at my counter. I notice there are no prices written down.

Me: “Do you know the prices of these items, sir?”

The customer speaks in a condescending and irritated tone.

Customer: “Aren’t you supposed to know that? Plus, I even wrote down the d*** SKU for you.”

Me: “I can see that, but our system doesn’t ring up SKUs. We only need the price and quantity.”

Customer: “But the other stores need the SKU.”

Me: “Each of the stores is independently owned. It’s just how ours is run.”

Customer: *Getting madder* “So, now I have to walk all the way back there to get the numbers for you?”

Me: “I could always spitball some numbers. I see these come—”

Before I even finish, he storms off. I put his things aside and wait for him. Not even thirty seconds later, in a small store full of customers, he comes storming back.

Customer: *Shouting loudly* “They’re [three prices around twenty-five cents], but you may want to check with your manager.”

Me: *Typing the prices in* “These should be fine since I ring them as bulk.”

Customer: *Interrupts me again* “In fact, where is your manager? I wish to speak to them.”

I point to the other register across the way. My manager, who I love to death, has been right there listening to everything.

Me: “She’s right there.”

Manager: *Looks to the customer* “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to report your F****** DISRESPECTFUL-A** STAFF YOU HAVE RIGHT HERE!”

He points right at me and my hands shoot up. How was I disrespectful to him when I was telling him what our store does? My manager speaks to him for a second and then he grumbles and begins paying. As he does, he signs the screen for the card payment, nearly breaking the screen when he hits “Done,” and storms out before his receipt even prints. The whole time he is grumbling, saying this is the reason we will be shut down and that each store in this chain is usually shut down in six months. I pay him no mind, but I am put off by him. He continues screaming and pointing right at me as he stands at the door. Then, I snap.

Customer: “YOU NEED TO GET A F****** EDUCATION!”

Me: *Shouts back* “I HAVE MY COLLEGE DEGREE!”

My manager was right next to me and told me I could go calm down in the break room. I was crying back there and she came back and helped to calm me. She even said he was the one who needed an education, and I smiled at that. The other manager on duty was there, too, and said if he ever comes back, we will refuse service to him. The next person I helped when I got back to my register was the nicest lady ever. I even got a high-five from a coworker for standing up to myself.

The best part? The manager who helped me calm down is my husband’s step-mother. She set us up and we have been together for four years and married for two.

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Cash Back Attack, Part 15

, , , , , , | Right | February 1, 2021

I’m a cashier. We offer cash-back as an option on our PIN pads. Customers go to pay for their items and choose the amount of cash-back they want, and then I give it to them. 

I am ringing out a customer with a large order. I ring everything through and give her the total. She hands me a $100 bill, which I keep in my hand, and she uses debit for the remaining amount. 

After her card is approved, the receipt prints and the drawer pops open. I stare at the screen for a moment. She’s asked for $100 cash-back. I stare at her and just hand her back the $100 bill she has just handed me to pay. 

She stares at me and just goes, “Oh. Well, that was dumb,” and we share a laugh.

Cash Back Attack, Part 14
Cash Back Attack, Part 13
Cash Back Attack, Part 12
Cash Back Attack, Part 11
Cash Back Attack, Part 10

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When Their Brain Has An Ignition Failure

, , , | Right | January 31, 2021

The store where I work cuts keys for our customers. An older man walks in with a car key.

Customer: “I need a copy of this.”

Me: “All right, what kind of car is it?”

Customer: “2012 [Make].”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, most newer cars need a chip in the key in order to start the ignition. I can make you one that will unlock the door, but it won’t start the car.”

Customer: “Well, just make me one and I’ll bring it out and try starting my car. If it doesn’t work, I won’t buy it.”

Me: “Sir, I promise you that our keys won’t start your car. I can’t cut you one if you are just going to return it. It will be a waste of a key.”

The man insists that his key won’t need a chip, so I pull out the key manual. I find his exact vehicle and show him that the key requires a programmed chip. He still refuses to listen.

Customer: “Well, my car has a remote, so it doesn’t need no chip. Just cut me one; it’ll work.”

Me: “I can give you the address of a place that does these keys, or you can go to a dealer. But I can’t cut you a key. I’m sorry.”

The man finally stormed out, not even wanting to know about the places where he could get his key copied. Some people just can’t be helped.

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You Should Have Heard The Look On Her Face

, , , , , , , | Right | January 22, 2021

Me: “Can I have your rewards phone number?”

The customer bends down with her face almost touching the counter and whispers her phone number.

Me: “Could you please repeat it?”

Customer: *Yells* “What are you, deaf?!

I look at her for a second and reach up to flip my hearing aid out from behind my ear.

Me: “Yes, I am.”

She just looked at me. I don’t think she was expecting that!

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