Shame You Can’t Prescribe Any Common Sense

, , , , , | Healthy | August 8, 2018

Doctor: “How did the new medications work for you?”

Patient: “I’m still waiting for them! The pharmacy still hasn’t called to let me know they are ready to pick up!”

Doctor: “Did the insurance deny the medications?”

Patient: “No, I didn’t hear any response from the insurance yet, either!”

Doctor: “Really? Which pharmacy did you take the prescription to? I can give them a call to check on this.”

Patient: “Oh, I never took it to the pharmacy. I still have the prescription here in my wallet!”

 

Severely In Need Of A Cruise

, , , , , | Healthy | August 7, 2018

Patient: “I’ve been waiting for a half hour. I am in severe pain and need treatment urgently!”

Doctor: “I’m sorry about that. I want to get you treated as quickly as possible. Let’s walk over right now to the Physical Therapy department. Chiropractic treatments have worked well for you in the past, and we can set you up for some chiropractic treatments right now.”

Patient: “Oh, no, I can’t do that. I am leaving on a vacation cruise for a month. I’ll call to schedule when I get back.”

Title Goes He—Pork Chop!

, , , , , | Healthy | August 6, 2018

Doctor: “Did you bring your MRI?”

Patient: “I drove home to get my MRI, and, yes, I got it; but when I was there I was looking in the refrigerator and I saw pork chops, and I started thinking about pork chops for dinner and how great those are going to be! Well, the pork chops forced the MRI out of my mind, and I forgot all about the MRI and left it on the kitchen table!”

You Don’t Work In The Same Field

, , , , , | Working | July 17, 2018

(I ride the bus in to my work each day, as do a few of my coworkers. We meet up occasionally and sit together. I am sitting next to a newer coworker. We are both female.)

Coworker: *lets out a loud whistle*

Me: *surprised* “What? What’s happening?”

Coworker: *in a loud whisper* “Check out dat a**!”

(She points at a man standing a little ways down the bus, who shifts, glancing at us and looking uncomfortable. I guess I look a little shocked or disgusted.)

Coworker: “What? I’m just leveling the playing field.”

(The man got off at the next stop quickly. I felt bad, and I ended up not sitting next to that coworker in the future.)

You Just Gotta Bounce With The Flounce

, , , , , | Friendly | June 18, 2018

(I am at a convention with a friend from England. We go shopping, and I request something that isn’t on the shelf. The young lady helping me is gone for a couple minutes when a nice young man with a shop name-tag comes up to me.)

Employee: “Hello, are you being helped?”

Me: “Yes, I am. She’s getting me some soap I wanted.”

Employee: “Very well!”

(His reply isn’t too off, but he spins around, raises one hand to head height, lets it flop, then literally minces off to find another customer. I come from a rather conservative part of the country, and what experience I have with gay bars indicates that, if a “look” is cultivated, it is more like “urban cowboy,” so I am thrown off just for a moment. I shrug it off and return to the conversation with my friend, but he cuts me off and says:)

Friend: “Well, he was as camp as a row of tents.”

(I had trouble containing my laughter.)

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