Returner Burner, Part 8

, , , , , | Right | April 17, 2018

Me: “Hello, sir. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return these pants.”

Me: “Sure, can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “Well, since these are [Jeans], which is a national brand, I can’t accept the return.”

Customer: “Can I speak with a manager?”

Me: *internal sigh* “Sure.”

(As I’m about to reach for the phone to page for a manager, I notice ANOTHER store’s tag on the pants.)

Me: “Sir, did you buy these at another store?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: *pause* “Then you need to go to that store.”

Customer: “But they wouldn’t accept it and you guys carry the brand so I thought you would.”

Me: “No, we can’t accept the return nor give you store credit.”

Customer: “WELL, FINE!” *storms off*

Related:
Returner Burner, Part 7
Returner Burner, Part 6
Returner Burner, Part 5

Unfiltered Story #108951

, , | Unfiltered | April 15, 2018

me: (showing them the key) “This is your locker key, and through the curtains is your locker.”
customer: “Ok. And do you have lockers?”

Unfiltered Story #108619

, , | Unfiltered | April 8, 2018

(Our building is next to a post office. Today is a Sunday and the post office is closed. A customer is checking out after using the spa with a massive box in her hands.)
Customer: “Hey, can you send a package for me?”
Me: “Sorry, but I can’t.”
Customer: “But the post office is right next door!”
Me: “Sorry, but we really can’t handle your mail for you.”
Customer: “Why not? It’s right next door!”
Me: “Ma’am, are you aware the post office is closed today?”
Customer: “Then just send it for me tomorrow!”
Me: “Sorry, there’s really nothing I can do. I can’t handle your mail for you.”
Customer: “I paid money to your business! You owe me a favor! I want a refund!”
(She continues to insist we should send her package for her before demanding to speak to the manager.)
Customer: “This f—–g receptionist refuses to send my package for me! Give me my money back!”
Manager: “Sorry, but we are under no obligation to do that for you. We’re a spa, not a post office, Ma’am.”
Customer: “I’m asking you for a favor! You’re obligated to make me feel relaxed! Now I’m stressed! I want a refund!”
Manager: “I’m sorry you feel that way, but you’ll just have to go to the post office on your own tomorrow. We really can’t handle your mail.”
Customer: *points to me and my manager at the front desk with her one free hand* “Think about how rude you were to me! I’m never coming back!”

You And I Can Write A Grammatically Correct Romance

, , , , , , | Romantic | April 5, 2018

(My wife and I kiss farewell before we head off to our respective cars and our respective jobs.)

Wife: “I love you.”

Me: “I love you. You are the best wife who ever wifed.”

Wife: “You are the best husband who ever husbanded.”

Me: “Not as best as your wifing… That sentence was grammatical!”

Wife: *pause* “I’m out of here.”

Getting (Pet)ty

, , , , , , | Right | March 6, 2018

(I’m working as the manager of a lounge available for free to holders of a travel rewards card. The front desk staff are well trained to spot all 30-something varieties of this card, and were chosen for being extremely diplomatic. San Francisco is notorious for people trying to pass off regular pets as service animals to bring them into buses, open-kitchen restaurants, etc. Apparently, we’re not even allowed to ask for the service license, but I didn’t know that until this incident. Tonight, I’m near the front as a woman wanders in with a small dog in tow and tries to walk past the staff without verifying her card.)

Me: “Is that a service animal?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss—” *pointing to the sign* “—but no pets are allowed inside. Does he have a license?”

Customer: “What’s your name? He’s not a pet! You can’t ask me that! This is discrimination! I demand to speak to the manager!”

Me: “I’m actually the manager on duty, ma’am.”

Customer: “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?! I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR BOSS!”

(She’s yelling so loudly most of the people in the lounge and employees are looking over to see what the commotion is.)

Me: “Okay… but are you a [Company] cardholder? Even if you have a service animal, only cardholders are allowed in the lounge.”

Customer: “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!”

Me: “My name is [My Name]. Are you a cardholder?”

Customer: “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?!”

Me: “Ma’am, my name is [My Name]. Do you have a [Company] card?”

Customer: “Right, I’m going to get you fired!”

(She turned on the spot and walked away. The women at the front desk were in shock at her tone, but for the rest of that month, whenever things were slow, one of them would sneak up behind me and whisper-scream, “WHAT’S YOUR NAME?”)

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