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Theft? What?

, , , , , , | Healthy | May 15, 2022

I am working late at a veterinary hospital and a note was left for the doctor. The phone rings, and I answer.

Me: “[Veterinary Hospital], my name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Owner: *Politely* “Hi there. I left a note for the doctor this afternoon and I haven’t heard back yet. My pet’s name is [Pet] and my last name is [Owner’s Last Name]. I was wondering if we could fill antibiotics for my pet?”

Me: “Okay, let me look that up for you!” *Typing* “Oh, I see the doctor won’t be in until tomorrow. Sorry about that. My coworker should have let you know! She’ll get back to you tomorrow, but I’ll let you know that standardly the doctor does require a recheck exam prior to filling antibiotics, especially since it’s been a couple months since we’ve seen the pet!”

Owner: *Silence*

Me: *Pauses* “Ma’am, did I lose you?”

Owner: *Suddenly angry* “No, I heard you, but that’s theft.”

Me: *Shocked* “What?”

Owner: “That’s theft to demand a recheck!”

Me: “Ma’am, I was letting you know so you have a realistic expectation of tomorrow’s call with the doctor and to see if you wanted to make the appointment.”

Owner: “That’s theft!”

Me: *Sternly, getting back my senses* “No, it is not.”

Owner: “Yes, it is!”

Me: “Ma’am, if you continue yelling at me, I will have to hang up.”

Owner: *Yelling* “I’m not yelling!”

Me: “Yes. You are.”

Owner: “I’ll talk to the doctor tomorrow!” *Hangs up*

The TARDIS Is Down The Hall To The Left

, , , , , , , | Working | February 14, 2022

I work at the front desk of a clinic. One of our clinicians stops by the front desk.

Clinician: “When [Patient] arrives for their appointment, please call me at 130.”

Me: “Wait, for tomorrow?”

Clinician: “No, this afternoon.”

Me: “But it’s already 4:00!”

Coworker: “They mean extension 130, [My Name], not 1:30 pm!”

Me: “Oh. That makes much more sense.”

We Know How To Monitor For Customers Like You

, , , , | Right | February 7, 2022

I work in the print department of an office store, and I’m in charge of the [Shipping Company] shipping station, as well. Customers can ship packages in our store or drop off packages if they have a prepaid [Shipping Company] label. They can also ask for assistance in boxing their item up to ship.

One day, a customer comes in with a computer monitor.

Customer: “I want this monitor packaged up to ship, and I want a guarantee that it will arrive at its destination in working order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I am not able to do that, due to the fragile nature of your item.”

Customer: “What? I want a manager!”

I call the manager over and explain the situation.

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, we cannot package this and guarantee this item from damage.”

The customer blustered a bit and then left. The manager and I looked at each other with a “Yeah, right” look. We were pretty sure the customer wanted to ship a broken monitor, claim it was damaged in shipping, and get a new one.

Trying To Get Out Of Paying Holds No Quarter With Me

, , , , , | Right | February 7, 2022

For six years, our city has required all retail stores to charge for disposable bags. At first, it was ten cents a bag, but last year, it went up to twenty-five cents.

I’m ringing up a customer at my till.

Me: “Would you like a bag today?”

He refuses one, and just as I’m giving him his change and receipt, he says he needs a bag and repeats himself a couple of times, so I can’t say anything. Finally, I say:

Me: “Twenty-five cents, please.”

He looks at me funny.

Me: “I did ask you about this.”

He looked at me in defeat and tossed me a quarter for the bag.

You’ve Heard Of A Soft Open, But Have You Heard Of…

, , , , | Right | January 14, 2022

I work in an old-time five-and-ten-cent store. I have left for the day and am walking to my car.

Customer: “Are you still open?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we have closed.”

Customer: “Is it a soft close or hard close?”

Me: “I’m sorry but we’re closed!”

Customer: “Yes, but is it a hard close or soft close?”

Me: *Thinking* “CLOSED is CLOSED!”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, the manager is grabbing her stuff to leave for the night!”

I’d never heard of a soft close before.