“Lovely” Left For Lunch, Link Up Later

, , , , , , | Working | February 17, 2018

(I am essentially the backup receptionist at my office, meaning that I take my work down to the reception desk and answer the company phone when the regular receptionist takes her lunch. Today, I get a rather interesting phone call. According to caller ID, the caller is a regular customer.)

Me: *picking up the phone* “Good afternoon, this is [Company].”

Caller: “Hello, lovely! How are you today?”

Me: *incredibly weirded out* “Um… Good. How are you?”

Caller: “Oh! Wrong lovely! Can you transfer me to [Coworker], please?”

Me: “Sure.”

Caller: “Not that you’re not lovely! I just… I should stop talking now.”

Me: *laughs* “One moment.” *I transfer him*

(I asked the receptionist later, and she said that that customer usually addresses her as “lovely.”)

A Custom Designed Comeback

, , , | Related | February 16, 2018

(I do a little freelance design to bring in extra cash at home, and every year, my sister asks me to design birthday invitations for her child.)

Sister: “You know what? This is so great. Who else can say they get custom birthday invitations every year?!”

Me: “Paying customers?”

Sister: “Touché.”

Unfiltered Story #105869

, , | Unfiltered | February 16, 2018

(My coworker, who answers our office’s only public number, relayed this to me. Our number is very close to a company’s public number and we get a lot of misdirected calls. The voicemail for this number clearly states that we are a government agency.)

Coworker: “Hello, this is [government agency], [office] helpdesk. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I’ve called your number several times, but there’s no way to dial an extension, how come?”

Coworker: *thinking that maybe the caller was trying to reach one of our staff* “Well, this number is a helpdesk, so only one person answers the calls. Who are you trying to reach?”

Caller: “I’m trying to reach Maggie.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, there is no Maggie here. Were you trying to reach [company with similar number]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Coworker: “You dialed the wrong number; it’s an easy thing to do. Here’s the correct number.” *gives number*

Caller: “You should say what company you’re with in your message!”

Coworker: “Actually, we do. If you want to call our number again, you can check.”

Caller: “Never mind, I’ll just call [company].”

You’re Doing Your Job Out Of The Gate

, , , , , , , | Working | February 13, 2018

(I am the receptionist of my office. I have a button that opens the inner door to our office. When someone walks through the front door, I greet them, and then ask their name and who they are here to see. I then call the person they are looking for, and either let the person come through the inner door, or escort them to the office of the person expecting them. I do this with everyone, no exception, even if I’m familiar with the face or name of the person. This afternoon, a man walks in and starts to open the inner door, only to discover he can’t. I greet him, and ask for his name and who he’s looking for. He says something close to the name of the office director, and when I ask his name again he looks at me:)

Director: “I’m [Director], the new director of this entire department.”

(I get up and personally open the door for him. I then introduce him to my support staff coworkers. He says something about making changes, and that’s when I say:)

Me: “By adding a bounce house?!”

(My coworker tries to shush me by waving her arms.)

Coworker: “No! No! Don’t say that!”

Director: *laughs* “I’ll even throw in a water slide, and donuts!”

(I take him to my boss’s office and go back to my desk. Half an hour later they both come back around.)

Boss: “…and you know [My Name]. She let you in.”

Director: “Yes, and she almost didn’t let me in.”

(My boss looks at me questioningly.)

Me: “He wouldn’t tell me who he was.”

(The director smiles, laughs, and then leaves. My boss tells me the director was impressed that I didn’t let him in right away without asking his name, who he was, and to whom he wished to speak.)

Boss: “He won’t forget you now. You’re a very responsible gatekeeper.”

(The next morning the director personally brought a box of donuts for my office!)

Fried Oreos Are Actually Awesome

, , , , , , | Right | February 13, 2018

(I’m the customer in this instance. I’m at a fast food place. A worker introduces herself and does the greeting spiel.)

Me: “Hi, [Worker]. I’ll have the [small burger] meal and two Oreo fries.”

Worker: “A [small burger] meal and… sorry? What?”

Me: “Two Oreo fries, please.”

Worker: “…”

Me: *after a long pause* “SHAKE! SHAKE! TWO OREO SHAKES! GOD, I’M SO SORRY!”

Worker: “Oh, that’s easier. I wasn’t sure we had those.”

Me: “That would have been difficult to put into your registers.”

Worker: “Okay, so, a [small burger] meal and two Oreo shakes. We’ll have your total at the window.”

(I’m pretty sure she then flees her station to laugh hysterically, because there is a guy at the window with a headset on, taking orders, instead of a woman, by the time I get there.)

Me: “Please tell [Worker] that the Oreo fries were delicious.”

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