(Unfortunately, I’m the customer in this one. I’ve just received word from [Major Airliner] that my return flight has been cancelled and I need to reschedule a new one. Our schedule is a little tight so I’m already flustered, plus I was on hold for an hour before speaking with someone.)

Phone Rep: “How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi, yeah, one of my return flights was cancelled and I need to schedule a new one.”

Phone Rep: “Can I please get your confirmation code?”

Me: *gives it*

Phone Rep: “Okay. Charlie, Oscar, Mary—”

Me: *snaps* “NO. I’m sorry, but you didn’t get the code right or something. None of those are names of people on my flight! I’m [My Name], and the only other person is [Friend]!”

Phone Rep: “I’m sorry, ma’am. So, your confirmation code is C as in Charlie, O as in Oscar, M as in Mary…”

Me: “Oh, my God, I am so sorry.”

Phone Rep: “Thank you for waiting on hold so long, ma’am.”

(Thankfully, we finished up the call without any more outbursts from me. I still somehow ended up with an upgrade on the return flight.)

(I am a volunteer working directly with the Administrative Manager of Volunteer Services for a non-profit. One of the things I have to do is double-check that every prospective volunteer’s paperwork is completed before they are activated. I come across one file that is… special. It is marked, “Rejected: Not a Good Fit,” by the assistant manager. Curious to see why the file was rejected — and to make sure the appropriate notes were made as to why this volunteer was rejected — I open the file and am soon reading it out loud to my manager. This is a summary of printed emails between the prospective volunteer and the assistant administrative manager:)

Administrative Manager: “[Prospective Volunteer], just about everything is ready except for your references. You didn’t fill out the form.”

Prospective Volunteer: “Oh, it’s [Reference #1], [Address #1], and [Reference #2], [Address #2].”

Administrative Manager: “[Prospective Volunteer], we sent out the surveys and both came back as not residing in those locations. We need their current addresses to send the surveys to.”

Prospective Volunteer: “Okay, well, here are their phone numbers. Just call them up and ask for their new locations. [Phone numbers].”

Administrative Manager: “[Prospective Volunteer], as they are your references, you need to contact them yourself and get their information. Their current information is supposed to be on the form we gave you to fill out.”

Prospective Volunteer: “I already sent you their phone number, so you can just call them for the relevant information. Thanks.”

Administrative Manager: “[Prospective Volunteer], it is not our responsibility to fill out your paperwork for you. It is yours. If you do not supply us with the information, we cannot activate you as a volunteer.”

Prospective Volunteer: “Well, I sent you their phone numbers, and it should only take a quick phone call, so I don’t know what the problem is. I’m doing you a favor by trying to volunteer my time to your charity. I even did you the favor of calling them and telling them to expect a phone call from you soon.”

Administrative Manager: “[Prospective Volunteer], that is not how this works. We require you to fill out all of the paperwork yourself. Since you are refusing to do the minimum work required, we will not be needing your assistance with our charity. I will be deactivating your file.”

Me: *to manager* “Soooo, this volunteer literally called them to tell them to expect a phone call from our office, but refused to ask for their addresses herself while actually on the phone with these people?”

Manager: *sighing* “I wish I could tell you this is the first time someone expected us to fill out their paperwork for them but… Well, welcome to my world.”

(I work as a cashier at a Mexican restaurant.)

Me: *hands a customer his change*

Customer: “You know, this is a Mexican restaurant.”

Me: “It is indeed!”

Customer: “Okay, but how did you get hired?”

Me: “Um… I applied, and they thought I was good for the job?”

Customer: “But you’re not Mexican.”

Me: “No, sir, I’m not.”

Customer: “So, you don’t speak Spanish or anything.”

Me: “Actually, I’m taking Spanish as my second language in school. I actually speak it quite well.”

Customer: “But you’re white. I just don’t understand how you got hired.”

Me: “Okay, sir, your food will be ready in ten minutes. Have a great day.”

(I am in line at a coffee shop. Behind me, there is a woman with a dog on a leash and behind her, there is a man using some type of walker. The man starts waving the walker at the dog, and the small dog backs away closer towards the woman.)

Man: “Look, your dog is afraid of it!” 

(He waves the walker at the dog a second time and again the dog backs up and hides behind the woman. The man laughs.)

Man: “Look, your dog is afraid of it!”

Woman: “Can you please stop doing that, then?”

Man: *explodes* “I am disabled! How dare you tell me what to do?”

(He goes into a screaming rant about all the medical issues he is experiencing.)

Woman: “I think you misunderstood; I just didn’t want you waving your walker at my dog.”

(Eventually, the man had to be escorted out by police because he was screaming at the top of his lungs about how the woman was discriminating against him and he hoped she ended up in a wheelchair one day.)

worked for Cable Company (midnight -7 am shifts) Mostly issues like outages or buying PPV movies/ remotes not working (This happened to be a billing call)

Me : Thank you for calling (Company) my name is (Name) how can i help you
Customer : Hi, can you help me with some billing questions ?
Me : Sure i’d be happy to help you, first i just need to verify some account questions to make sure you are authorized
(Customer verifies everything) and i have been reviewing his bill as he spoke, noticing a HUGE amount of Adult movies on his account for the last 5+ months (over 30 each month ranging from $6.95 to $49.95)

Customer : Can you explain these charges (he lists dates and it’s the adult movies)
Me : Those charges are (i list off the names and Ratings) adult movies all of which were ordered from the Remote, using your PIN set up at the time service was started
Customer : Are you sure? this seems like a lot (his current bill has 6) and i swear i have never ordered movies like this, im a grown man who works 2 jobs
Me : Are you aware that the last 5 months have had over 100 movies of this type ordered? i understand what your saying but for 5 months they have been ordered and payed for… is there anyone else in the home that might be placing these types of movies?
Customer : nope, no way it’s just me and my 17 year old son and his pregnant live in girlfriend, there is no way they would do this …… (Long pause…. screams son’s name) 2-3 mins of fighting and screaming ….. “i am so sorry about this i’ll be paying this off and he will get an ass whooping”

Hangs up