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Missed That Opportunity By A Hair(cut)

, , , , , , , | Working | September 22, 2021

I am trying to find regular work after being laid off due to the health crisis. I have a seasonal job through the holidays, but that is only about six weeks of work. Once my contract ends, I decide to use a little bit of the money I made to buy hair dye and dye my hair red; I want it a bit darker but it ends up about the color of Princess Ariel’s hair, but shoulder-length.

After going through FOUR phone interviews spread out over two months, I finally get an in-person interview. I meet the interviewer, she gets me a visitor badge, and we head to her office. After some small talk about traffic and the weather, we sit down in her office. As soon as I sit down, she starts with:

Interviewer: “So, your hair is a problem. It needs to be a natural color.”

Me: “Yeah, I thought that might be the case, but it’s no problem. I can cut it down to my roots. I’ve had short hair before so I know I like it.”

Interviewer: “Oh, I’d feel bad if we made you cut it. You can also dye over it.”

Me: “Yeah, I can’t really dye over this, but it’s okay; I’ve had short hair before.”

We talk for a few minutes about my work experience and such, and she brings it up again.

Interviewer: “I feel bad for making you cut your hair if you get the job, but it’s the policy for no unnatural colors. I feel bad that you can’t dye over it.”

Me: “It’s really okay. I’ve had short hair before. I can even show you a picture if you want.”

Interviewer: “No, that’s not necessary. I just feel bad you have to cut it.”

I reassured her AGAIN that it was fine. We talked about me some more and she brought it up a THIRD TIME. This time, I actually unlocked my phone and started looking through my pictures, but she stopped me and said it was fine, but she just felt so bad I had to cut it. We took a tour of the facilities and she brought it up a FOURTH TIME. I didn’t know what else to say at this point, so I just sympathized with her for feeling bad for making me cut my hair. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job.

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An Interesting De-Termination

, , , , , | Related | September 21, 2021

I’m chatting with my sister on the phone about the global health crisis. Unfortunately, I’ve been distracted by video games lately, particularly one where you play as an assassin.

Sister: “And there are some businesses that require a vaccine or else you can be terminated.”

Me: “Wow, that’s a little extreme.”

Sister: “What?”

Me: *Realization dawning* “Other kind of ‘terminated’. Right. Sorry.”

Sister: *Jokingly* “Either way, I guess you’re getting shot.”

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No ID, No Ida

, , , , , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Hurricane Ida is getting ready to hit, so I go to the store to stock up on groceries (booze). I forgot my ID.

Cashier: “Can I see your ID?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Okay.”

And then she just rang me up. I was tired, and I meant to say, “Sorry, I just realized I don’t have it!” or something polite, but I could only say no. She must’ve just accepted her fate.

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Thirty-Six Reasons To Find Another Victim

, , , , , , | Legal | September 20, 2021

I’m alone at home and my phone starts ringing.

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer: “Hello, this is [Scammer] from [Phone Provider]. Your phone line will be cut within the next twenty-four hours, so we need you to phone our special number for further instructions.”

I’m working from home due to the sanitary situation, and losing my phone and my Internet would be a VERY bad thing for me. However, there’s something about this woman’s voice that screams “scam attempt.” She makes me write the special number down and it’s becoming obvious that it’s a premium rate number: if I phone them, I’ll lose a lot of money. I could just hang up now or tell her I’m not fooled, but I decide to play with her, instead.

Scammer: “So! You have our number!”

Me: “Yes! 06 26…”

Scammer: “No. I just said 00 26.”

Me: “00 36…”

Scammer: “No. 00 26…”

Me: “00 26…”

Scammer: “76…”

Me: “36…”

Scammer: “No! There’s no 36!”

Me: “How dare you say that? One of my coworkers is thirty-six, and she’s a truly wonderful person!”

Scammer: “There’s no thirty-six in this phone number. Let’s resume.”

Me: “Okay, let’s resume, but please, don’t insult the number thirty-six.”

Scammer: “Goodbye.”

She hung up. I waited twenty-four hours and my line wasn’t cut. I guess it was definitely a scam attempt.

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Back Off Or Become The Butt Of My Joke

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Social distancing in supermarkets is strictly enforced here. One of the rules is that each customer must use a cart, both to limit the number of customers allowed in at the same time and to ensure distance — keeping a cart length away from the nearest customer.

I’m queuing up at the counter when I feel a touch on my butt. I turn around: it’s a middle-aged woman leading her cart by grabbing its front. She has gotten so close that her hand and the cart bump me from behind.

Me: “Please keep your distance.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. It’s all right.”

She comes another step closer, again bumping me from behind. I don’t know what possesses me — I’m usually very non-confrontational — but I answer her quite loudly.

Me: “As long as you’ve got your hand on my butt, you’re standing too close!”

She turned a wonderful shade of red and scurried off!

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