Our manager has assigned three of us to work together on a project. One of my coworkers, who is originally from the UK, is talking to the manager near me.

British Coworker: “[Manager], I’m happy to work with [My Name] on the project, but I cannot under any circumstances be expected to produce good work with [Coworker].”

Manager: “What are you talking about? She knows the work.”

British Coworker: “I’m sure, but she can’t help but throw in, I’m going to be diplomatic and use the phrase ‘running commentary’, about the UK and me being British.”

Manager: “What do you mean?”

British Coworker: “When she first picked up on my accent, she asked if I was an English refugee escaping now that the UK has been overtaken by Sharia law.”

Manager: “Ooookay, so she’s a bit misinformed.”

British Coworker: “The last time I worked with her, she asked me if I was going to fix my face now that I was in a country with real healthcare and not in one with all of that socialist stuff.”

Manager: “I feel like you’re exaggerating a little bit.”

British Coworker: “I really… really wish I was.”

Manager: “Well, let’s just give her another chance, yeah? Maybe she was having some off days.”

[British Coworker] sighs but tells [Manager] she’ll give it a shot, but will have zero tolerance for any more passive-aggressive comments.

On day one of working together on the project, we lasted almost an hour before this happened:

Coworker: “So, [British Coworker], did you vote for Brexit, or did you vote for the people who want to replace the statue of Winston Churchill with Osama Bin Laden?”

By hour two, [Coworker] had been… reassigned.

A young guy has just started in the office on his first day. It’s a quiet day, everyone working diligently, when suddenly this guy screams on top of his lungs. Like, a full-blown give-it-your-all deafening holler. Everyone jumped, and I spilled my coffee.

The HR officer was right there, and she ran over to him.

HR Officer: “Are you okay?!”

New Guy: “Oh yeah, I’m fine. I just wanted to see how loud I could scream.”

Everyone in the office shares a look. The HR Officer looks pointedly at the recruitment guy, who starts digging out the newbie’s CV, maybe to look for clues as to why this guy is like this  (couple years employment gap in a psychiatric facility, maybe?).

The newbie never did it again, and as far as I know, he continued to work there like a normal bloke for a few years. I only know I didn’t dream it because my coworkers and I would bring it up from time to time to ask, “Did that really happen?”

My general manager would receive monthly finance reports from me, and it was painfully obvious he wasn’t paying attention to any of them.

To test my theory, one month when margins slumped, I noted the reason as “poor cost control by local management.”

He never said a thing, but his superiors caught on and started an investigation into him.

A week later, he was suddenly fired on the same day as the head of HR was also let go. It wasn’t explained exactly what happened, but I did overhear a supervisor on the phone as I walked past his office:

Supervisor: “Yeah, the bogus company expenses were part of it, but I think it was the graphic CCTV footage of our offices being used as their ‘love shack’ that sealed the deal…”

I’m deaf and wear two hearing aids; without them, I hear nothing. Around this time, I kept getting really bad ear infections in my ears. I was told I can still work.

My boss, who is a bully, had me stand outside on a freezing, snowy day, running a stand about our work. I had a bad ear and a cold already. By the end of the day, I couldn’t feel my feet (steel-toe cap boots work made us wear), and [Boss] told me it was my fault for not drinking hot drinks (I only like cold drinks).

The next day was Saturday, and I spent the day in the warmth of my flat trying to get better, but my ear was killing me. I called our out-of-hours NHS (National Health Service), and they told me to go to the treatment centre. I was seen and told that I had a very nasty ear infection, and they gave me antibiotics. I woke up Sunday to my ear twice its normal size, burning, and half my face numb. I knew I was in a bad way. 

I drove myself to A&E at 1 AM. All they could do at the time was give me pain meds and make me comfortable until the ear specialist came in on Monday morning. Several hours go by, and by then I can’t move my jaw; my ear is swollen shut. My ear was so badly infected that I was admitted to the ward with a drip of antibiotics, a wick in my closed ear (I passed out when they did this) to put antibiotics in the ear, and a morphine pump.

After two weeks, I was back at work in front of my Boss and the HR lady, as I had gone over my ten sick days allowance. The fact that I was in the hospital for over a week didn’t matter, and I was told I should still come into work even if I have a bad ear.

Me: “If both ears flare up, I can’t come in.” *I work outside with the public.* “Not wearing my hearing aids means I can’t hear anything.

HR Lady: “That’s fine, we’ll give you office work: phone duties.”

Me: “You want me to come in when I can’t wear my hearing aids and do phone duties?”

Both she and the boss said yes. Okay, fine then. I signed the paperwork to say that we had this chat, etc.

I was angry as I felt he had caused me to be in hospital, and they don’t just keep you in for the sake of it.

Sure enough, the following month, both ears flared up, and I couldn’t wear both hearing aids. It was scary for me to leave my home, not being able to hear, but I had to follow their rules.

I got into the office and told my boss:

Me: “My ears have gone bad again, but I’m here.”

I was told later I had shouted. [Boss] said something, but I decided not to lip-read; I wasn’t making it easy for him. I kept shouting:

Me: “What did you say?”

I did this a few times, and then he wrote go to the desk over there and deal with any phone queries.

Me: “Okay!”

So, I sat there, staring at the phone, waiting for it to ring. After a couple of hours, the phone hasn’t rung. [Boss] came over and started talking to me, red in the face.

I looked at him, puzzled, and said:

Me: “What did you say?”

He looked so angry and wrote down, ‘Why aren’t you answering the phone?’

I looked back at him and said:

Me: “Well, I haven’t heard it ring yet!”

I swear he had steam coming out of his ears. I got sent back home as I was a ‘health and safety risk!’ Apparently, the phone had been ringing off the hook the whole time, but of course, I couldn’t hear it ringing. 

Seriously, asking a deaf person who can’t wear their hearing aids to do phone duties! Thankfully, I only had one more hospital-induced ear infection since. Strangely, after having my tonsils removed after way too many bouts of tonsillitis, I haven’t had one ear infection since!

Related:
Deaf To Reason, Part 19
Deaf To Reason, Part 18
Deaf To Reason, Part 17
Deaf To Reason, Part 16
Deaf To Reason, Part 15

A colleague is tutting loudly and making annoyed sounds at her desk. This means she wants someone to ask her:

Me: “Everything alright, [Colleague]?”

Colleague: “[Store] has this thing I want that I saw on their Facebook. I went there to buy it on my lunch break, but they told me that it was an online-only item!”

Me: “So… buy it online?”

Colleague: “No! I don’t trust online shopping. They’ll steal my credit card information!”

Me: “That stuff is all quite secure. If anything went wrong, you could call your bank, and they’d help you sort it out.”

Colleague: “I don’t want to put my credit card online.”

Me: “Well, I don’t know what to tell you then. If they say it’s only online, you need to buy it online.”

Colleague: “I’ll call them.”

She sits at her desk and calls that store’s help number. After she gets an agent and explains her problem, it sounds like the store agent can help her order her item over the phone.

Colleague: *Loud and clear, in an open office.* “Okay, so my card number is Four, Four, Seven…”

Same volume for the expiry date, the CVV, and her address registered to her card.