Marrying Together Different Interview Styles

, , , , | Working | November 23, 2017

(My boss gets a new manager who makes an effort to get to know everyone under him. Over his first few weeks he takes us all out, one at a time, for a casual half-hour meet-and-greet. I am excited about this because it is the first time I’ve been in an environment where I have senior leadership who seems to actually care about their subordinates.)

Boss: “So, tell me a bit about yourself. None of that work stuff; we’ll get to that. I see you’re married?”

Me: “Yup!”

Boss: “How long?”

Me: “It’ll be two years this September.”

Boss: “Ah. Two years. Yeah, wait until five years; that’s when you’ll find out if it’s going to be worth saving or not.”

Me: *awkwardly* “Haha, yeah. Well, I’ve heard of the seven-year mark being hard.”

Boss: “It’s five.”

(The conversation never really recovered, and I rarely interacted with him after that, though when I did it always felt tense. Naturally, I assumed that he’d been burned once or twice, but after moving to a new role a couple years later, I found out from a manager that worked more closely with him that he was actually a lifelong homosexual bachelor, easily in his late 40s, probably older. So, I guess he was just being mean?)

When Your Inappropriate Comments Hit The Roof(ie)

, , , , , | Working | November 23, 2017

(I work with a coworker that is known for saying inappropriate things to clients. She has to sit in a corner desk facing the wall because of her loud and obnoxious comments. I sit very close to her and one call stands out in particular. She is completing a medical financial assistance application over the phone with a pregnant client.)

Coworker: “And how many babies are you expecting?”

Client: “I’m three months alon— Oh! I’m sorry, just one. Having some trouble with baby-brain.”

Coworker: *loudly* “Oh, I remember those days! Being pregnant is just like being roofied!”

(Queue everyone within a five-desk radius prairie-dogging up from their desks for confirmation that this was actually just said!)

Elevating The Chances Of That Happening

, , , , , | Friendly | November 23, 2017

(I’m in a large high-rise building, waiting for the elevator. I realize that, out of the multiple elevators, only one is working for the whole building. I get in on the 11th floor attempting to get to the lobby. The elevator quickly goes up, first to the 12th floor, the 14th, the 15th, etc, with one or more people getting on at most floors. It starts to get crowded, and I’m certain we’re about to hit the weight limit. The elevator starts to go down, with even more people squeezing in along the way. People are starting to shift and look nervous. Finally, towards the bottom, with around 15 people crammed into a tiny elevator that is creaking from the weight, the last three get on.)

Woman: *in the elevator* “Ooh, three more now….”

Man: *who has just entered* “Man, I hope they fix this elevator soon, because it is about to break!”

People: *in the elevator* “Anything but that!” “Don’t wish it into existence!” “Don’t even say that!”

(With perfect timing, at that exact moment the elevator dinged, and the doors opened to the lobby. Everyone started laughing. Really lightened up what had become a pretty tense ride. I hope they fix the elevator soon.)

Needs A Recruiter Rebooter

, , , , , , , | Working | November 22, 2017

I am looking for a new job, having been made redundant at short notice from my previous company. I have a really good interview with a company on a Thursday morning, but I feel the job isn’t right for me. I feed this back to the recruiter on Thursday afternoon. I hear from a different recruiter on Friday afternoon that they’ve got a temp job for me starting Monday, so I go along to that on Monday morning. It’s not brilliant, but I know how to do it, and it is only for a couple of weeks, with no notice period, so I’m happy to stay there until something more permanent comes up.

At lunchtime I look at my personal phone for the first time since I arrived at 8:30 am. There are three missed calls from a number I don’t recognise, two missed calls from the first recruiter’s number, and two voicemails.

The first voicemail is the person who interviewed me on Thursday, asking very nicely if the recruiter actually let me know what time to start, etc.

The second voicemail is an angry tirade from the recruiter’s manager, asking why I hadn’t turned up.

I phone back to explain I hadn’t actually taken the job. The recruiter is off on holiday for two weeks, so I am put through to the angry manager. It appears the company told the recruiter to offer me the job before I’d told him that I didn’t want it. He’d accepted it on my behalf, and to meet his bonus target before the end of the month, hadn’t told them I didn’t want it. He’d actually gone to the trouble of filling out all my details on the paperwork I was supposed to do on that Friday. His boss is not happy when I tell him I haven’t done it.

About a month later when the temp job comes to an end, I apply for another role with the original recruitment company, which I eventually take. I ask what happened to the original recruiter.

“Oh, he left,” I am told. “What happened?” I ask, feigning ignorance. “Well, he got back from holiday, there was a lot of shouting in our manager’s office, and he walked out.”

I explain what happen to me.

“Oh, he did that to you, as well? Yeah, that was one of his tricks. I guess he tried it too many times.”

What Goes Up, Must Come Crashing Down

, , , , , | Working | November 22, 2017

(We are interviewing potential applicants for a series of new jobs. We have met several at the entrance to the building and are escorting them to our respective floors.)

Applicant:Ugh! Why is this lift so slow! Doesn’t it know we’re all busy?!”

Boss: “Yes, you’ve looked very busy while staring at [social media] for the past 15 minutes.”

Applicant: “What else is there to do?!”

Boss: “Actually listen? We told you at reception that data analysis was on the third floor. Had you bothered to lift your head from your phone at all, you might have realised that we’re now coming up to the seventh. So, unless you want to be interviewed for a managerial role, I think you have missed your chance.”

(She blushed and sprinted down the four floors instead of using the lift again. At the end of the day, I heard she tried to blame us for her tardiness. Her potential boss, however, also noticed that she was on her phone the whole time, too, and promptly closed the door in her face.)

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