Soaked In Rage

, , , , | Working | December 11, 2019

(My workplace has an area to store your bags, coats, etc. The hooks are overwhelmed by coats, so everyone leaves their bags on the floor. One day, a pipe bursts and the bag area floods. I work at the front and the pipe is at the back, so I don’t find out about this until my break, nearly an hour later. Some of my coworkers, including a manager, knew about the burst pipe as soon as it happened.)

Me: “So, where did you move the bags to?”

Coworker: “What do you mean?”

Me: “The bag area is flooding, right?”

Coworker: “Well, it’s not flooding anymore, but there is still a lot of water on the ground.”

Me: “Right. So, where did you move the bags?”

Coworker: “Why would we move the bags?”

Me: *eyes go wide* “You left them in the water?!”

(I run to the back of the store and grab my bag. It is sopping wet. I get everyone else’s bag up on a nearby table and then woefully check on my stuff. My change of clothes is soaked. Thankfully, my phone was spared, as it was on top. The papers I had in there are completely destroyed. I confront my manager.)

Me: “[Manager], why weren’t the bags moved? They’re soaked!”

Manager: *flat voice* “[Company] is not responsible for theft or damage to items left in the back room. It is provided to you as a courtesy.”

Me: *gritting my teeth* “Fine. It’s not like I was gonna sue you, anyway. I just want to know why you didn’t move them.”

Manager: “They’re your responsibility.”

Me: “I was on register! How was I supposed to know the pipe burst?!”

Manager: “They’re your responsibility.”

Me: *completely losing my temper* “But why would any decent person just leave them there? Why couldn’t you just pick them up? I just picked them up, and it took me less than two minutes! Why?!

Manager: “They’re your responsibility.”

Me: *screams in rage*

(And that’s the story of how I got fired for the first time ever.)

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Commander Data Would Disagree  

, , | Right | December 11, 2019

(I work at a helpdesk.)

Customer: “I need an Android-cable.”

Me: “Android-cable?”

Customer: “Yes, a normal Android-cable.”

Me: “You mean micro or Mini-USB?”

Customer: “Yes, a USB! Just a normal USB.”

Me: “There is no such thing as a normal USB. What do you need it for?”

Customer: “I don’t understand why this is so hard for you. I just need a USB for my phone!”

Me: “Do you have your phone with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Right… Well, I have this one.”

Customer: “That’s the one I need! I think. This is just a normal Android USB, right? I’ll just take it and if it doesn’t fit, I’ll bring it back.”

Me: “Sure, I need to write down your name for this anyway.”

(We end the conversation and she walks away. I hear her mutter.)

Customer: “…doesn’t even know what an Android-cable is.”

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Unfiltered Story #179735

, | Unfiltered | December 11, 2019

Background: I work as a secretary in a small private school. Most of the parents are great people and the kiddos- ah! so adorable!! But we have two mothers who have been harassing my boss…and apparently now me. I like to think of them as the wicked witch of the west and the other the east.

Wicked witch of the east pops into my office right before announcements and in her typical rude tone starts asking for something. The announcements pop on, so it’s my cue to be quiet (we have to be quiet during announcements).

Me *whispering*: whoops! announcements, can I get to you in a second?

WWE *loudly*: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE QUIET!?

Now, I know this lady isn’t a moron, she knows exactly why she has to be quiet! Figuring I’d get her out of my hair ASAP, I grab what I think she was trying to ask for before announcements.

Me *whispering*: I think this is the right thing, you don’t have to wait now.

WWE *escalating*: WELL WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT AFTER ANNOUNCEMENTS?!

Obviously, I was thrown off by this- maybe she didn’t hear me right because I was trying to whisper…but for pete’s sake lady, CALM DOWN!!

Me *trying to get her to be quiet*: Oh you don’t have to wait now… *I smile and make a motion that she can go.*

The wicked witch snaps and starts yelling at me- of course, my boss, who is in the next room shouts “KEEP IT DOWN, I’M DOING ANNOUNCEMENTS!” So you think she’d get the hint and fly off on her broom. But now, she keeps up the verbal tirade. I get sick of it and finally should firmly “PLEASE LEAVE!” and THANK GOD she stomps off.

All I can say is, I pray for those poor children!!

Hire Him For The Great Save

, , , , , | Working | December 10, 2019

(My uncle is a manager chatting with a prospective employee before the interview.)

Interviewee: “Any exciting weekend plans?”

Uncle: “My wife and I are actually planning to head to Minnesota for a ski trip.”

Interviewee: “Oh, they’ve got nothing in Minnesota. Only prostitutes and hockey players are from there.”

Uncle: “My wife is from Minnesota.”

(There’s a long pause, then:)

Interviewee: “What team does she play for?”

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Wanted Insulin, Not Insurin’

, , , , | Right | December 9, 2019

(I work for a home inspection company. The phone rings and I answer, expecting to speak with someone asking to schedule a home inspection.)

Me: “Hi. This is [My Name] with [Company] Inspection Service; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi. I live up north and my insurance company told me to call.”

Me: “Okay, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Well, I have diabetes.”

Me: “I’m sorry? What can I help you with?”

Customer: “They told me to call you to get my medication.”

Me: “Um… We are a home inspection company.”

Customer: “So, you can’t give me my meds so I don’t die?”

Me: “I’m afraid not… You have the wrong company.”

Customer: “Isn’t your number [number]?”

Me: “Uh, no, not one digit was the same. I’m so sorry.”

Customer: “So, I’m going to die?”

Me: “I bet if you call that number you won’t.”

Customer: “Okay, thanks… Bye.”

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