The Couponator 18: The Digital Revolution

, , , , , , , | Right | July 26, 2020

I work at a bulk membership club. The club is taking extra steps to ensure the health and safety of employees and customers during the current health crisis.

One of these steps is making all coupons digital-only: use the membership app and load them onto the card. However, some customers are so entrenched in the old way of physically clipping coupons that every day we get some variation of, “Well, I wasn’t informed…”

Me: “All right, that will be [amount].”

Customer: “Oh, wait. I have all these coupons.”

Me: “Ma’am, due to the outbreak, all of our coupons are done digitally now.”

Customer: “What? Since f****** when?”

Me: “Since the beginning of March, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, nobody ever told me that.”

Me: “Ma’am, it says so on the first page of the coupon book, on the large sign at the front of the store, on the TVs that you passed by on your way in, and on the PA system every half-hour.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t see or hear any of that, so you have to take my coupons.”

As I’m about to call a manager, the PA system starts the prerecorded spiel about digital coupons. I watch as the customer claps her hands over her ears.

Customer: *Very loudly* “This is age discrimination, you know. I’m too old to know how to use these app things and if you keep this s*** up, I’m going to complain to the State about this!”

My manager arrives and she says the following:

Manager: “Ma’am, first of all, I won’t have you swear at my cashier. He has tried to help you. And in reference to your last statement, I see you’re not carrying a flip phone, so your [Expensive Smartphone] should be able to handle our app.”

Customer: “No! This policy is f****** stupid, and I won’t download your stupid app just to use my coupons!”

Manager: *To me* “Void her transaction and ring up the next person in line.”

Customer: “How dare you?! I’m a f****** paying customer!”

Manager: “You’re verbally abusing my cashier because you’re unwilling to learn new things, so he’s going to ring the next person in line while I show you how to use the app. Then, you’re going to apologize to him for swearing at him for something that is out of his hands. Then, and only then, will he ring you out, and then you will be a ‘paying customer.’ Do I make myself clear?”

The customer was at least five inches taller than the manager, but the sternness in her voice made the customer back down and move out of the line. Ten minutes later, she very meekly apologized and checked out, not making eye contact with me. A small victory for essential workers, but it felt good.

The Couponator 17: Attack Of The “Programmer”
The Couponator 16: Enter The Entree
The Couponator 15: The Transaction Void
The Couponator 14: Multiple Attack
The Couponator 13: Coupons Of Purchases Past

This story is part of our July 2020 Roundup – the best stories of the month!

Read the next July 2020 Roundup story!

Read the July 2020 Roundup!

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A Fee-ble Attitude

, , , , , | Right | July 25, 2020

I work at a call center for a well-known bank. My slightly older, southern customer calls in IRATE that we charged three overdraft fees on charges that he had money to cover at the time of his purchases; we charged the fees because the account subsequently dropped negative, causing the charges to post while the account had a negative balance.

I try to explain what charges will receive fees and why so that he can avoid fees in the future, but he is furious and won’t listen.

Then, he mentions that he’s been out of work for four months due to the lockdown. Due to this situation and company policy, I find I am able to refund a substantial amount of fees. 

Customer: “This is outrageous! There’s only one charge that should have caused one fee but you just decide to charge fees whenever you want! How dare you?!

Me: “Sir, because you’ve been affected by the health crisis for several months, I am very glad to say that I was able to refund a total of $595 in fees, effective immediately. This brings your balance to [amount]. Can I help with anything else?”

Customer: “…”

The customer is subdued and super respectful, suddenly.

Customer: “I can’t believe you just did that for me, ma’am. I’m sorry for my attitude earlier, ma’am…”

He then quietly listened while I explained how and why we charge fees and continued to thank me and apologize effusively. He ended the call saying we were a great bank and apologizing again. I love my job sometimes.

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Sadly Having To Mask Your Contempt

, , , , , | Right | July 25, 2020

I work in a small clothing boutique. We’ve been doing online and curbside orders only for a month due to the lockdown measures but our state just reopened, despite cases multiplying and testing being nearly nonexistent, and my store’s owner decides we need to be open, as well.

I bring in my own mask and gloves since my owner thinks this is all “overblown.” Unfortunately, it seems the rest of our city agrees. I spend the day dodging customers who want to stand within a foot of me, won’t step back from the counter, insist on picking up and touching everything, and won’t use the hand sanitizer at the door, and NONE of them are wearing masks. 

At the end of the day, one of my customers looks at me in my own, correctly-fitted mask.

Customer: “You know you don’t need to wear that. I got one and tried but I didn’t like how it felt and I’m healthy enough anyway, so what’s the point?”

The point, dear customer, is to keep my asthmatic self safe. But apparently, that’s not good enough. And if I were to say that, I’d be fired. So, wonderful catch-22 here. If I get sick, then it’ll be nice to know that at least I didn’t make a customer feel mildly uncomfortable!

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Thank God Period Pain Isn’t Contagious

, , , , , , | Working | July 24, 2020

Due to a certain illness outbreak, my work has created a secondary call-in phone line specifically for the illness, in addition to the regular associate call-in line. Thanks to worse-than-normal menstrual cramps, I call in one day through the regular line. I also specify that it’s nothing contagious, so I don’t have to worry about being cleared by HR to be allowed back into the building.

The next day I return with no problems from HR. Later that day, I’m confronted by a male coworker who likes to act like management, even though we’re at the same pay level, and he only has a month seniority on me.

Coworker: “Did you get cleared by HR to come back? I’m not getting sick just because you think you can cut corners.”

Me: “I wasn’t contagious, so I don’t need to be cleared for anything.”

Coworker: “Um, yes, you do! If I had to be cleared after my trip to Minnesota, so do you!”

Me: “You flew there, and when everything started up, we were told that everybody flying would have to be cleared by HR first. I didn’t have anything contagious, so I don’t have to be cleared.”

Coworker:No! If you’re sick, you have to be cleared! You think, just because you’re a girl, that you can do whatever you want?!”

Me: “Nope. I think that, because I was bleeding due to my uterine lining flaking off and being evicted, more painfully than normal, I didn’t feel like standing for a nine-hour shift on a forklift. Any other complaints?”

His mouth flapped like a fish’s a couple of times and then he stalked off. He later whined to our immediate union steward, who has no issue with telling dummies off. Our steward told him that, even with our natural issues, each of the four female floor workers do twice as much work as he does.

He later told me that if the coworker really wanted to whine about the girls getting “special privileges,” he should get hooked up to one of those wired machines that lets you feel what a period feels like.

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If That’s A Surprise For You Then You’ve Lived A Boring Life

, , , , , , | Right | July 24, 2020

Due to the health crisis, we have a slightly reduced menu. This is always fun to explain to drive-thru customers.

Customer: “Can I get a strawberry banana smoothie?”

Me: “Unfortunately, I just ran out of bananas for the night. I can still do the regular strawberry smoothie if you want, though.”

Customer: “That’s fine. And I’ll take a small one of those, not the large.”

Me: “Okay. Just so you know, all of our smoothies only come in one size. Is that okay?”

Customer: “Jesus Christ! Are there any other surprises you want to pull on me? I mean, do you even have cups to put them in?! Why am I here?! Whatever! Just, fine.”

My eyeball is twitching as the menu states this.

Me: “That’ll be [total] at the window, thank you.”

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