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Thirty-Six Reasons To Find Another Victim

, , , , , , | Legal | September 20, 2021

I’m alone at home and my phone starts ringing.

Me: “Hello.”

Scammer: “Hello, this is [Scammer] from [Phone Provider]. Your phone line will be cut within the next twenty-four hours, so we need you to phone our special number for further instructions.”

I’m working from home due to the sanitary situation, and losing my phone and my Internet would be a VERY bad thing for me. However, there’s something about this woman’s voice that screams “scam attempt.” She makes me write the special number down and it’s becoming obvious that it’s a premium rate number: if I phone them, I’ll lose a lot of money. I could just hang up now or tell her I’m not fooled, but I decide to play with her, instead.

Scammer: “So! You have our number!”

Me: “Yes! 06 26…”

Scammer: “No. I just said 00 26.”

Me: “00 36…”

Scammer: “No. 00 26…”

Me: “00 26…”

Scammer: “76…”

Me: “36…”

Scammer: “No! There’s no 36!”

Me: “How dare you say that? One of my coworkers is thirty-six, and she’s a truly wonderful person!”

Scammer: “There’s no thirty-six in this phone number. Let’s resume.”

Me: “Okay, let’s resume, but please, don’t insult the number thirty-six.”

Scammer: “Goodbye.”

She hung up. I waited twenty-four hours and my line wasn’t cut. I guess it was definitely a scam attempt.

Back Off Or Become The Butt Of My Joke

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Social distancing in supermarkets is strictly enforced here. One of the rules is that each customer must use a cart, both to limit the number of customers allowed in at the same time and to ensure distance — keeping a cart length away from the nearest customer.

I’m queuing up at the counter when I feel a touch on my butt. I turn around: it’s a middle-aged woman leading her cart by grabbing its front. She has gotten so close that her hand and the cart bump me from behind.

Me: “Please keep your distance.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t worry. It’s all right.”

She comes another step closer, again bumping me from behind. I don’t know what possesses me — I’m usually very non-confrontational — but I answer her quite loudly.

Me: “As long as you’ve got your hand on my butt, you’re standing too close!”

She turned a wonderful shade of red and scurried off!

When It Comes To Reliable Information Libraries Beat Facebook

, , , | Right | September 19, 2021

In Sweden, we have the Library Act, which means that every municipality MUST have at least one public library. It’s against the law to close down library services permanently. Not everyone is aware of this fact.

This takes place before the global health crisis, so it’s business as usual. I’m at the information desk helping a patron when a lady walks in. She doesn’t seem to have a particular reason for her visit; she just wanders around aimlessly for a bit, looking at the books. I assume she’s new in town, or new to the library, as I’ve never seen her before. Her general appearance doesn’t raise any red flags. She’s maybe in her fifties, well dressed, and doesn’t look much different from our regular patrons.

After I’ve finished helping the patron I’m with, I turn to the lady.

Me: “Let me know if you need any help.”

The lady comes up to the desk.

Patron: “I didn’t know you were still open. I just wanted to come in and have a look before you close.”

I misunderstand completely, thinking that she’s talking about our opening hours.

Me: “We’re open until five o’clock, so you can take your time.”

Patron: “I mean until you close down for good. When is that happening?”

At this point, I’m very puzzled. However, another public library in the area recently had to close one of their branches due to budget cuts, so I think maybe she’s referring to that.

Me: “Oh, don’t worry. We’re not closing down. We’re the only library in this municipality, so we can’t close down.”

Patron: “I read that you’re going to close down. There’s no need for libraries anymore; everything’s on the Internet.”

Me: “Can I ask where you read that? I think you’ve been misinformed.”

Patron: “Facebook said so. No one uses the library anymore because everything is on the Internet, so all the libraries are going to close down.”

I gesture to the room which, granted, is not completely packed, but there are still a lot of patrons browsing the shelves, reading magazines, and studying.

Me: “Facebook is actually not the best source of reliable information. As you can see, there are plenty of people here and we’re not going to close down.”

Patron: “No, everything is on the Internet now. You’re going to have to find another job.”

Me: “It’s literally illegal to close down this library. We’re not closing.”

Apparently, nothing I say gets through to her because she just smiles. Through the whole exchange, she’s been perfectly polite and not at all aggressive.  

Patron: “I just wanted to see what it looked like since you won’t be here for much longer.”

I gave up trying to argue with her. The lady wandered around for a few more minutes and then left, apparently still under the impression that libraries were obsolete.

Her Attitude Is A Real Shot In The Arm

, , , , | Healthy | September 19, 2021

I’m visiting my doctor for a checkup about a week after my booster shot. The nurse is taking my vitals. 

Nurse: “So, how was your shot?”

Me: “A little sore when I lift my arm, but otherwise, nothing, really.”

Nurse: “Most people get knocked out for a day or two.”

Me: “Yeah, I thought I would, but I feel fine.”

Nurse: “You know, when you get sick after a vaccine, that means your body is building immunity. So, if you didn’t feel anything, you probably didn’t get anything.”

Me: “But—”

Nurse: “There are stories about people injecting with water and all kinds of stuff.”

Me: “I don’t—”

Nurse: “You should look into one of those tests to see if it worked.”

Me: “No, I—”

Nurse: “You should! If I got a shot and it didn’t do anything for me, I’d sue!” *Pauses* “Your pulse is high. Are you okay?”

Me: “You gave me my shot.”

The nurse sits in silence for a moment, embarrassed. 

Nurse: “Well… not here, obviously… I mean, people here don’t… I was just… uh… The doctor will be in to see you shortly.”

She left without another word. The doctor came in and assured me that their shots are the real deal and that just because I didn’t feel anything it doesn’t mean I’m not covered.

Can’t Tell If This Is A Laptop Flop Or An Email Fail

, , , , , , | Right | September 16, 2021

I’ve just finished paying for my items at a convenience store, so I step to the side to organize my things for a moment. It’s during the global health crisis, so I make sure I am more than six feet away from the people still at the checkout.

The next customer after me is an extremely elderly woman with a few items in a cart, and I happen to overhear her conversation with the cashier.

Elderly Woman: “My caregiver bought me these items, but they’re not the right kind so I need to return them.”

Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, we just need the receipt or proof of purchase.” 

Elderly Woman: “Well, that’s the problem. I don’t have it, but she said she emailed it to me.”

Out of nowhere, the woman suddenly produces an entire laptop computer from somewhere inside her coat! She sets it on the counter, while the cashier looks completely bewildered.

Elderly Woman: “Can you help me access my email here in the store? That way I can get your receipt.”

Cashier: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t think that’s going to work…”

I’d never seen someone just pull out a laptop at the checkout before! From the look on the cashier’s face, she hadn’t, either. Gotta give the elderly woman points for creativity!

I felt a bit bad for her and considered helping her by making a Wi-Fi hotspot with my phone, but I figured it would not be a simple fix, as there are always complications when it comes to helping elderly folks with technology — forgotten passwords, outdated software, etc. Plus, I didn’t want to get within six feet of her or touch her laptop, in order to protect both her health and mine. I left feeling slightly guilty but also wondering why her caregiver didn’t just go to the store for her instead!