Constructing A Pretty Good Point

, , , , , | Working | June 17, 2020

My in-laws own a building restoration company, mainly dealing with old brick structures. They will not do new construction. 

City council meets with local business owners to try to combat low employment rates, especially among people with any sort of criminal record. 

Mayor: “You own a construction company; why not take on a few more employees with less desirable records?”

Father-In-Law: “Well, you see, it’s building restoration. I can only take on workers with experience in old construction or a background in engineering.”

Mayor: “Nothing wrong with training new, hard-working citizens, though.”

Father-In-Law: “Sounds good, but it won’t work. Everyone has to come back clean on the background check; we often work unsupervised in businesses, even the occasional bank after hours. I don’t want anything to go wrong.”

Mayor: “Fine. Just know you are being unreasonable.”

A few months later, the mayor hires my father-in-law to repair the sinking front steps of his home. He sends out a guy who’s 6’4” and 250 pounds and has tattoos from his neck to his fingertips and rippling muscles. He’s the sort of guy that you wouldn’t want to cross. He is a life and fitness coach, and an extremely nice guy. He doesn’t know the first thing about repairs.

He knocks on the front door with a toolbox, and the mayor just about calls the police. Instead, he calls my father-in-law to ask about him.

Father-In-Law: “Oh, yeah, he works for me; he applied a few weeks back. I thought about what you said and figured I’d give him a shot. He got out early on good behavior; I think it was felony assault and possession of narcotics.”

Mayor: “And you sent him out to my house?”

Father-In-Law: “Well, yeah. You pushed for more felons to be hired! Thought you’d love to see the results. Is he working okay? Or are you afraid he’s going to rob the place?” *Laughs* “He’s a good guy, never went to prison. Just showing you that image is part of business.”

He sent someone to actually reset the steps after the call.

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Leave The Medicine To The Medical Professionals

, , , , , | Healthy | April 29, 2020

I work for a mail-order pharmacy that also manages pharmacy benefits. I work in our Medicare division, so 95% of my customers are over 65. This is just after the president has started to praise a certain medication for Lupus as a treatment for this recent widespread illness. 

I get a call from a woman nearly sobbing.

Me: “This is [My Name]; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, this is [Caller]. I saw on the news that the president was saying [Drug] could treat the outbreak.”

As I am pulling up our scripting about this, I look at her account and see she is already taking the medication and has claims going back a couple of years.

Me: “Well, ma’am, we understand the concern—”

Caller: “Is there going to be a shortage? What if I can’t get my Lupus medication? I’ve been taking this for ten years!”

This poor woman is sobbing.

Me: “Ma’am, I certainly understand your concern. And we are keeping up with the reports coming out. At this time, I want to assure you that we are prioritizing our patients who already have a valid prescription. If you’re still worried, then when it’s time to renew the prescription, have your doctor state the reason it’s being prescribed. At this time, we have not received word of a shortage, but we are monitoring the situation daily.”

Caller: “Oh, thank you! I just heard the president saying it on TV and now I’m afraid everyone is going to buy it up!”

Me: “Again, I can understand, ma’am. Please know that if there is an issue, we will let you know right away! Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Caller: “No. Oh, God bless you! Thank you!”

She was one of eight that week. Do these politicians not realize their words have effects on people?

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So Much For Unity And Working Together…

, , , , , | Friendly | March 22, 2020

(I walk into the thrift store where two older ladies are working and there’s an old man who just hangs out all day. They are talking very loudly about a very mild kerfuffle that got blown way out of proportion that happened at a local high school involving pro-[American Politician] posters. They have apparently not noticed or cared that anyone has walked in.)

Lady #1: “–and so this little [expletive] kept tearing down the posters, and the school won’t do a thing! It’s disrespectful.”

Lady #2: “They’re always like that, and the teachers are always protecting those types. Why, my granddaughter got in trouble for telling one of those Hispanic boys to stop insulting the teacher. And walking around with Brown Pride shirts!”

(I am starting to get uncomfortable, as well as mentally calling bull on her claim given the area’s demographic makeup. Then, they go back to complaining about the poster incident when the old man pipes up.)

Man: “You know, that boy should be hung by the neck for showing such disrespect!” 

(The ladies made noises of agreement — and I immediately left and haven’t been back since.)

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Those Thrifty Communists!

, , , , , | Right | March 17, 2020

(I overheard this at our thrift store.)

Customer: “Do you have any coffee makers?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I have a few. Are you just looking for a Mr. Coffee type?”

Customer: “I want one that isn’t communist.”

Coworker: *scratches his head* “I’m not sure I follow.”

Customer: “I want a coffee maker that isn’t communist. If it’s made in China, I don’t want it! I refuse to give a communist country my money.”

Coworker: “Um, we’re a secondhand store. Any money you spend here stays here and is donated to [Local Animal Shelter]. I can guarantee it won’t go to China.”

Customer: “If it’s made in China, it’s a communist coffee maker!”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, I don’t think we have any that fit what you want.”

Customer: “Well, then, you won’t get any of my money unless you make your products in the USA!”

(The customer leaves.)

Coworker: “But… we’re a thrift store…”

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We Sing In A Shadow

, , , , , | Related | March 6, 2020

(I am about to take my first trip to Thailand to visit some friends who live there. Mom comes up to me one evening.)

Mom: “You know what you should do before you leave?”

Me: “What?”

(I’m thinking she’s going to get me to try yet another Thai dish because I’ve been less than enthusiastic about what I’ve tried so far in preparation for this trip.)

Mom: “You should watch The King and I.”

Me: “Uh, you do know that movie is banned in Thailand, right?”

Mom: “It is?”

Me: “Yep. Thai people love that king, and Rodgers and Hammerstein made him look like an idiot.”

Mom: “But it’s a classic love story.”

Me: “It’s still insulting. They love their king over there. They have shrines to him all over the place from what I can tell.”

Mom: “But why ban it? It’s not a documentary.”

(I quickly pull up Google on my phone.)

Me: “Yeah, it looks like all but one version is banned in Thailand. Complaints include Jodie Foster being more prominent on the poster, uh… the king is basically a cowboy on an elephant… Oh, in one version, it says they showed the king using common chopsticks when he should’ve been using a spoon.”

Mom: “That’s it?”

Me: “It’s a crime to insult the king. ‘Violators of the law face a seven-year prison sentence.’”

Mom: “So, I guess you can’t go around singing ‘Getting to Know You.’”

Me: “No.”

Mom: “Well, don’t insult the king while you’re there.”

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