The True Price Of Tourism

, , , , , | Right | September 1, 2019

(I am working at a grocery store where we usually get a lot of tourists. Two men, presumably father and son, walk into the store and buy some items. I ring them up and tell them the price. The father starts to get money out of his wallet when the son puts his hand in front to stop him.)

Father: *in a British accent* “[Son]?”

Son: *with the same accent* “How do you know that that’s the real price? They could be lying.”

(I feel a little offended by that, but before I can say anything, the father talks to me.)

Father: “I am so sorry about this.” *to [Son]* “It’s the actual price.”

Son: “But the tax is included in the price in Britain. They don’t here! How do I know he’s not just pocketing the extra cash?”

(The son sounds frantic now and pulls out a calculator from his pocket that I haven’t seen since the 1990s.)

Father: “I can see the till from here; he’s not scamming you.”

(The son seems relieved and eagerly pays for his items before walking outside chewing on taffy.)

Father: “I am so sorry for this, sir. We just got off the ferry from Salem and a woman at the counter tried selling him a ginger beer for fifteen dollars. I looked there and they didn’t have the prices displayed.”

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No More MTV For You!

, , , , | Related | August 26, 2019

(I grew up with a huge extended family. None of my grandparents had fewer than seven siblings, so one is always running into great uncles, distant cousins, etc., seemingly everywhere. When I am two, I am in a mall with my mom and dad and we run into one of these distant cousins who recently moved from Ireland to the US. I have a very Irish name, have the overly curly brand of Irish hair, the works, and my dad is proud to be able to introduce me to his cousin.)

Dad: “[Cousin]! What a surprise! This is my wife, [Mom].”

Mom: “So nice to meet you!”

Cousin: *smiling down to me* “And who is this?”

Dad: *proudly* “This is our daughter, [My Name]. What do you say, sweetheart?”

(I look up at him with a big smile and brightly say:)

Me: “You’re a jacka**!”

(My mom told me later that she was so mortified that if there had been a hole nearby she would have tossed me in and walked away. They had no idea why I said that, where I had heard it since they never swore around me, and why I thought that was the best greeting for a newly introduced relative. The cousin laughed and took it in stride, but my mom never let me live that down.)

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Little Kids Will Just Not Give It A Rest

, , , , , , | Right | August 23, 2019

(It’s 9:30 pm on a Friday night. We shut our cigarette kiosk at 8:00 pm, due to the fact that we usually don’t have the staff to run it and it’s pointless when only five or six customers want cigarettes between 8:00 pm and 10:00 pm. The kiosk has a sign stating to go to the customer service desk and an employee will come and serve you the cigarettes. I’m stood at the customer service desk, taking a quick swig of my drink in between stocking, when a little boy comes round from the direction of the kiosk.)

Little Boy: “My dad said to ask if you are taking a rest?”

(I blink, as the boy has said it innocently but the comment seems directed at the fact I appear to be just stood there, despite the fact that I just stopped for a quick drink.)

Me: “Um, did your dad want cigarettes?”

Little Boy: “No, he said are you enjoying your rest!”

(The boy goes back around and returns a moment later.)

Little Boy: “Also, my daddy says he wants cigarettes.”

(I sighed and went round to serve him. The dad looked a bit sheepish, as he obviously didn’t intend for his son to relay his sarcastic comment/question!)

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Booty Call The Pajama Black

, , , , , , | Right | August 17, 2019

(I’m working at the cash register. A woman and her son, who can’t be older than ten, are in line. The mother sees a young girl in booty shorts walk out of the store.)

Mother: “It looks like that girl forgot the bottom of her drawers.”

Son: “Some people like to dress like that.”

Mother: “Yeah, people who don’t care how they look, people with no self-respect.”

(The son then looks at the pants his mother is wearing: pajama bottoms.)

Son: “You look like you just got out of bed.”

Mother: *silence*

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Ayn Rand: The Child Years

, , , , | Learning | August 12, 2019

(I am a summer camp counselor. I am waiting for the next activity with my campers on a bench when we spot a spider on the bench next to us. The campers are around ages seven to nine.)

Me: “Oh, hey, there’s a little spider here. Watch out for it!”

Camper #1: “That’s a jumping spider!”

Me: “Really? Do you like spiders?”

Camper #1: “Yeah! I study spiders a lot!”

Camper #2: “I like to study cars!”

Camper #3: “I study human weakness.”

 

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