Kids Are One In A Million

, , , | Related | March 19, 2018

(I like to tease young kids by saying their purchase costs a million dollars and asking if they have that much. Every so often one of them will say yes, so I ask them where it is. These are a few answers I’ve gotten.)

Child #1: *cartoonish shrug*

Child #2: “Daddy has it.”

Child #3: “My piggy bank.”

Child #4: *points to his mother’s purse*

Child #5: *hands me a dollar*

Love Is Material

, , , , | Related | March 17, 2018

(Overheard near the toy aisle, between a five- or six-year-old girl and her mom.)

Girl: “Of course I love you, Mommy! I just love you more when you buy me stuff!”

(At least she’s honest!)

Hammed Up That Story

, , , , , | Related | March 16, 2018

(I am a mother to a wonderfully cheerful six-year-old. Despite grasping things like numeracy and literacy very quickly, she tends to muddle them up after a little while unless they are quickly reinforced. On this day, I have promised her that we can go and see my parents a few miles away after school.)

Daughter: “Mummy, I learned a joke today from my teacher!”

Me: “Wow, really? Are you going to tell me what it is?”

Daughter: “No, I’m going to wait and tell Grandma!”

(The entire journey, she is squirming excitedly at the thought of this joke. I let her out of the car eventually, and she runs to see my mother.)

Daughter: “Grandma, I learned a joke today from my teacher!”

Grandma: “Oh, yes? What is it?”

Daughter: “What country can you put in a sandwich?”

Grandma: “Hmm… I’m not sure. What country can you put in a sandwich?”

Daughter: *with all the optimism in the world* “Ham!”

(It took us ten minutes to realise she meant Turkey.)

It’s Been A Patchy Day Until Now

, , , , | Friendly | March 14, 2018

(I decide to treat my grandparents to get a bite to eat as thanks for being my drivers. I’ve been wearing an eye-patch for about a week now due to an injury. We step into a fast food restaurant, and its play area is swarming with kids. It’s cool; we get a bit of entertainment too. As we enter, a mother and her little girl — three at the most — approach the door to leave. The girl looks up at me, looks to her mother uncertainly, then looks back to me. Then she speaks up in a quiet voice.)

Girl: “But it’s not Halloween yet!”

(Her mother looked like she wanted the floor to swallow her up. I, however, was too busy laughing at the adorableness. Thanks, cutie; I really needed that!)

The Number One Anthem

, , , , , , | Related | March 14, 2018

(My mom takes my younger brothers and me to a baseball game with some friends of ours. Before the game starts, my youngest brother announces he has to use the bathroom, so off he and my mom go. I sit in our seats with our friends for a while before the national anthem is sung, and it isn’t until the game starts that my mom and brother finally return. My mom is almost crying, she is laughing so hard. Apparently, my mom waited outside the bathroom for quite a while. When my brother finally came out, she asked him:)

Mom: “What took so long? Is everything okay?”

Brother: “The anthem was being sung, and I couldn’t sit down!”

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