The Biggest (And Cutest) Mood

, , , , , | Related | July 2, 2021

We have two small children, ages five and three. One morning, we are eating breakfast.

Three-Year-Old: *Quietly* “Mommy, are we going out today?”

Me: “Yes, we will soon go to kindergarten.”

The five-year-old slams their fist on the table.

Five-Year-Old: *Loudly* “Not again!”

The three-year-old gently puts their fist on the table.

Three-Year-Old: *Whispering* “Not again.”

Yeah, kids, I know the feeling.

For the record, the kids love their kindergarten and have absolutely no issues going there. They just hate waking up early to prepare for it.

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That Country Road Is Different From How I Remember

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2021

I am checking out a mother and her young daughter, likely kindergarten age. The mother is distracted with a young baby in a stroller but the daughter is diligently passing the items to me.

I am surprised when I hear the daughter humming “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver!

Me: “Oh, that’s one of my favorite tunes!”

Young Girl: “Me, too! We learned it in school today! Look, I even made a picture!”

The young girl then magically produces a piece of paper with bright marker stick people and the name of the song on top. Immediately, I notice a couple of things: the word “Home” is missing an M, and more importantly, the word “Country” is missing an O.

Me: “Oh… that’s… lovely.”

The mother realizes what is happening and snatches the artwork from her daughter.

Mother: “No, [Young Girl]! This is special art for Mommy’s eyes only, remember!”

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Complete With A Swirl And A Smile

, , | Related | June 8, 2021

Our two kids have just gotten a small ice cream each.

Four-Year-Old: “Mommy, Mommy, what is this?”

They point at the dark-chocolate-covered top of the ice cream. The four-year-old chirps in a happy tune that only children can come up with.

Four-Year-Old: “It’s poo-coloured!”

They had no idea why I started laughing out loud.

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Religion Is Trending

, , , , , | Right | June 4, 2021

It’s 2016. Our priest is showing some kids a picture of the Hindu god Krishna. He has a weapon called a sudarshana chakra, which spins on his finger.

Kid: “Look, he has a fidget spinner!”

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That’s One Way To Learn

, , , , | Learning | May 30, 2021

This happens during a catechism lesson when all the kids are drawing or otherwise occupied with manual activities. My daughter, who’s six or seven, is a combination of sheltered and curious and has no filter whatsoever.

Daughter: “If coffee contains caffeine and tea contains theine, does Coke contain cokeine?”

The teacher reprimanded her a LOT, and gave us a piece of her mind when we picked up our daughter, as well. That evening, we imparted to my daughter a crash course about drugs.

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