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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

We Don’t Talk About Copyright

, , , , , | Right | August 12, 2022

I create wall art and murals. I am talking to a client about doing the outside wall of their nursery.

Client: “Oh, and I want a big painting with Moana, the sisters from Frozen, and that Encanto girl who wears the glasses.”

Me: “I don’t think that would be a good idea. Those are copyrighted characters.”

Client: “Oh, they’ll never notice a small nursery like ours!”

Me: “Are you kidding? This is Disney. They probably have their lawyers on their way to our houses right now.”

Turn And Face(book) The Strange

, , , | Right | August 11, 2022

An old client recently changed his Facebook to Timeline, the newest interface.

Client: “Help! My Facebook has gone all funny! Can you fix it?”

Me: “No, I can’t.”

Client: “Well, what kind of designer are you?”

Me: “One that makes a lot less than the ones who work for Facebook.”

Client: “So you are saying you won’t fix Facebook for me.”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Client: “How much to design a new one?”

Me: “A new page?”

Client: “A new Facebook.”

Until You’re Purple In The Face

, , | Right | August 10, 2022

Client: “Can you make this blue redder?”

Me: “Like, purple?”

Client: “No. A red-blue. Or even a blue-red. Are you colour blind?”

Cowardice Should Cost Extra

, , | Right | August 9, 2022

Client: “I don’t like any of the logos my current designer did and I want you to see what you can come up with.”

Me: “Great, I’ll have some concepts ready for you next week.”

Client: “Oh, do you do any writing?”

Me: “Yeah, what do you need?”

Client: “This would have to be for free. I need you to use my Outlook to email the other designer and tell her that I don’t like her work.”

Entitlement Has Hit The Roof

, , , , , , | Right | August 7, 2022

I work for a roofing company. I am heading to a client’s home a week after we have finished installing his new roof. This is a normal inspection to sign off, but I also need to double-check the installation as our area suffered a major storm a few days earlier and a lot of houses have been damaged.

I am walking onto the site when the client comes rushing up to me.

Client: “You! You need to talk to my insurance company about the roof!”

Me: “Okay, let’s inspect the storm damage and I would be happy to provide a professional assessment.”

Client: “What storm damage?! There isn’t any! Your g**d*** roof didn’t lose a single tile in the storm!”

Me: “Oh. And that’s… bad?”

Client: “Terrible! My insurer won’t pay out because there’s no roof damage, and it’s all your fault! What are you going to do about it?! Hmm?”

Me: “Get you to say all that again on camera for our site?”