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A collection of client horror stories from designers and freelancers on CFH.

Logo-No-No

, , , , | Right | June 10, 2023

A client is looking at a logo concept created with an ink trap font.

Client: “This is horrific. There’s something wrong with it. It makes me physically sick. It makes me want to vomit.”

Me: “Got it. Thanks for that constructive feedback.”

At This Rate, You’ll Be Done By Next Spring

, , , , | Right | June 9, 2023

A client commissioned me to do a watercolour painting of his Federation house which had a garden in front. I send him a photo of the final painting.

Client: “My wife doesn’t like it because the plum tree in the centre of the lawn isn’t in flower. You need to repaint the tree to how it looks in spring.”

Me: “The tree wasn’t in flower on the day I took the photos. You were both with me when I took them, and no one asked me to do the tree that way.”

Client: “Well, I am telling you now.”

Me: “Watercolour doesn’t allow you to ‘repaint the tree’ unlike acrylics or oils would. I’ll have to do the whole thing again.”

Client: “Yes.”

Nothing else… just “yes.”

Check Yourself Before You Wreck(tangle) Yourself

, , , , | Right | June 8, 2023

Client: “I decided I want one of the illustrations you already did for my logo, and I am going to use it for the background on my checks.”

Me: “A logo is usually a simple graphic used to represent your business — in your case, the book series and characters. The illustrations are a bit too detailed for that purpose. How about I simplify the characters and series title and create a logo?”

Client: “Why can’t you just shrink the picture down to the size of the check?”

Me: “The artwork is twelve inches square and proportionally will not work in a rectangle.”

Client: “Wait, hold on… You know I don’t understand you when you use those technical terms.”

Me: “By ‘proportionally’, I mean—”

Client: “No, not that word. The other one you said. It won’t work in a what?”

Me: “Rectangle?”

Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Um, a rectangle is the shape of your checkbook.”

Client: “Oh, okay.”

Has Anyone Ever Fallen For That?

, , , | Right | June 7, 2023

Client: “Web designer seems like a sweet job.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s great.”

Client: “You probably love it so much that you would do it even if you didn’t get paid!”

Me: “Um…”

Client: “Great! So, I don’t have to pay you?”

A Charitable Definition Of “Charity”

, , , , | Right | June 6, 2023

Client: “Good God! Is this website going to be made of gold or something?”

Me: “Ahh, no. Is there something wrong with the design?”

Client: “No, it’s the price! We are a charity! You can’t make charities pay for things. You’re supposed to give them to us for free!”