Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

A-No-No-Tation

, , | Right | January 17, 2022

A client wants his dissertation laid out for print. It’s a pretty complicated task; it has tons of special characters and specific formatting, so I have lots of trouble with fixing all the little fails in the document.

One step before I am finished (and have already have been paid a fixed price – stupid me!), the publishers find out the author hasn’t even read the annotations of the second reviewer and it has almost a thousand mistakes left in the document that he just ignored. At this point, I have already worked hours for free just to finish this project.

The publishers and I tell him to give me the list with the mistakes, so I can fix them in the fragile, complicated, easy-to-destroy document. He refuses. We try to convince him for weeks. He refuses. We tell him if he does it himself, it will be more work for him, me, and the publishers and will result in a worse-looking book. He refuses.

Client: “I’ll pay 100 extra euros.”

Me: “That’s not even enough for three hours of work, and I will need eight to ten hours to fix what you will be ruining.”

The client goes on with doing whatever he’s doing and ignores me. When I get his document back, it will be h*** for almost no pay. Why can’t they just listen to the professionals?

A Fun Twist On “Cheeseburger With No Cheese”

, , , , , , , | Working | January 14, 2022

My restaurant offers table service, and staff takes orders on tablets. We choose the food but can type instructions to the chef, eg “fish & chips”, “no salt,” etc.

Customer: “What’s the soup of the day?”

Me: “Carrot and cumin.”

Customer: “No, I don’t like carrot or cumin, but I love the bread that comes with it. Can I just have the soup of the day, but only the scone, please?”

Me: “If you like. That will be out shortly.”

The soup of the day comes with a scone. However, I can’t find the scone separately on the tablet, so I enter it exactly as he asks. Our chef, from France, comes to me waving the docket that printed out.

Chef: “Hey, [My Name]? What is this h***? Is there something wrong with my English?”

He’s waving the docket from the kitchen.

Me: “Huh? Oh, you mean, ‘What the h*** is this?’ What’s the problem?”

Chef: “‘Soup of the day, no soup’? You wrote this? He wants an empty bowl?”

I speak a little French.

Me: “Nan… Ils veulent juste le pain qui reste après avoir emporté la soupe.” *Take away the soup, and they want the scone that is left.*

The chef is still confused but understanding.

Chef: “Okay, if that is what he wants.”

The boss has heard the commotion.

Manager: “What did you do this time, [My Name]?”

Me: “Guy at table seventeen just wants the scone from the soup dish. I entered it as a soup without any soup.”

Manager: “Let me check with him.”

Me: “I’m not kidding.”

To be fair to the boss, it’s exactly the sort of prank I would play if I knew the customer.

Manager: “I’m in charge, and if he doesn’t get what he asked for, I’ll have to deal with it!”

The boss comes back.

Manager: *To the chef* “All right, give him a scone.”

Chef: “‘Soup of the day, no soup.’ This is brilliant! I will keep this docket for my fridge at home.”

The customer got his scone. The bill got discounted, so he didn’t have to pay for a soup he didn’t order. Our tablets now list “scone” as a separate option.

Wait Until They Find Out About The “It’s A Free Country” Part

, , , | Right | January 13, 2022

Me: “I’ve looked at the brief and it’ll cost [total].”

Client: “I thought you were a freelancer.”

Me: “I am.”

Client: “No, you’re not. You’re a chargelancer!”

Those French And Their Silly Words

, , , , , | Right | January 12, 2022

I am shopping for an online customer in our bread aisle when an elderly man approaches me, holding his phone out and looking confused.

Customer: “Can you help me? I need a ‘back-wet.’”

Me: “I’m not sure I understand. Do you know what a ‘back-wet’ is? If you do, I can help you figure out what area of the store it’s in.”

Customer: “I don’t know. My wife texted me the grocery list and I’ve never seen this word before in my life.”

Me: “If you don’t mind, can I take a look at the list?”

He shows me his phone.

Me: “Oh! A baguette! They are over on a cart in our produce section with the bakery bread. Let me walk you over.”

I show him our baguettes and hand one to him.

Customer: “Skinny bread? My wife always finds weird things she likes and then sends me to buy them without explaining what they are! It’s a good thing I asked someone who knows their bread. Some other employee might have just told me it’s bread, and I would have bought a regular loaf! Oh, boy, I would have been in the doghouse for that!”

Transcending Understanding

, , , , , , | Learning | January 11, 2022

I am teaching American literature to juniors — kids roughly sixteen to seventeen years old. The class is usually taught chronologically, starting with colonial literature, and I try to show how history is directly reflected in literary styles and topics. 

We’ve finished Romanticism and its death in the Civil War and have moved on to Western expansion (cowboys, Native Americans, the Wild West, etc.) and the literary genres of Realism and Regionalism. I’m grading a short quiz over what we’ve covered so far.

Quiz Question: “Identify one technological advancement in the US that led to increased popularity in the style of either Realism or Regionalism.”

Student’s Answer: “The Transcendental Railroad.”

My Only Thought: “Totally far out, pardner…”