I’ve Had Worse Nicknames

, , , , , | Working | April 13, 2021

I work in a busy restaurant in Australia which has a popular high tea service on weekend afternoons. We have one new guy who is French and occasionally has some difficulty understanding broader Aussie accents.

The new guy comes up to me, quite confused, while I am stacking plates in the kitchen. 

New Guy: “A customer asked me for German cream. Where do I find it?”

I am initially a bit confused myself, as there is a huge tray of jam and cream sitting on the pass in front of him.

Me: *Pointing* “It’s just there.”

He looks at it.

New Guy: “But this is just normal cream.”

I realised what he had said initially and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. I stuttered out, “JAM and cream.” He went bright red and grabbed some to take out to the customer. 

Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one in the kitchen at the time and the chefs gave him the nickname “German,” which was his moniker until I stopped working there.

1 Thumbs
252

Se Habla Japañol, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | April 12, 2021

I am half-German, part-Norwegian, and a few other races that are primarily white as white can be. I am extremely pale with thick, curly, brown hair. Somehow, I am always mistaken for being Mexican, and then people get angry because I say I’m not and don’t speak the language. I have this one guy come in who is determined to teach me the language, despite my saying over and over again that I have no desire to learn it… so I decide to play a little with him.

Customer: “Hola, ¿cómo estás?”

Me: “Iie, wakarimasen.” *Basically, “No, I don’t understand.”*

Customer: “Um… what?”

Me: “Hajimemashite; [My Name]-desu. Dozo yoroshiku. Onamae wa nan desu ka?” *”It’s nice to meet you; I’m [My Name]. Please accept my regards. What is your name?”*

Finally, the customer stopped trying to teach me something I didn’t want to learn. Aside from what I posted and “hocchikisu,” meaning “stapler,” I don’t remember anything else from Japanese class.

Related:
Se Habla Japañol

1 Thumbs
363

I’ll Take My Martini Mediocre, Please

, , , , , , | Working | April 12, 2021

A server puts in an order for a gin martini. I make it and set it on the bar.

Server: “Um… this guy said he wanted it perfect.”

Me: “Okay, then I need to remake it.”

Server: “Oh, why? What does that mean?”

Me: “Perfect means half dry and half sweet vermouth.”

Server: “Oh, I thought he just meant he wanted it really well made.”

1 Thumbs
304

She Must Be Thinking In Double-Dutch

, , , | Right | April 7, 2021

I’m eating at a fast food place in Belgium. A couple next to me is discussing something in English. When it is their turn, the guy orders in Dutch, the local language.

Girl: “Did you just now order in Dutch?”

Guy: “Yes.”

Girl: “You’re an idiot; they all understand English here.”

The guy shrugged it off and I tried to process what I’d overheard.

1 Thumbs
254

A Sade Pleet With A Side Of Haggis

, , , , , , | Working | April 6, 2021

I’m from England. This was one of a string of temporary jobs I had while travelling a few years back. I’m selling people pies, sandwiches, and tea as normal when a lady in a nurse’s uniform asks me a question.

Nurse: “Can I have a sade pleet, please?”

Me: “A what?”

Nurse: “A sade pleet.”

I’m completely confused.

Me: “I beg your pardon?

Nurse: “A sade pleet!”

Me: “Er…”

I gesture at the array of food, drinks, and other assorted cafeteria-related items on the counter between us.

Me: “Ma’am, if you can see one on here, please grab one!”

The nurse picks up a small plate from a pile in front of me and shakes it.

Nurse: “A sade pleet! A SADE PLEET!”

It’s at this point that I finally twig that I’m listening to someone with a distinct Scottish accent, which I haven’t heard in some months and wasn’t expecting to hear at all while working in a hospital cafeteria in Australia. She’s asking if she can have a side plate. I laugh with some relief.

Me: “Beg pardon, ma’am, I wasn’t at all expecting to hear a Scottish accent here! Yes, of course, please take a plate, and sorry about that!”

Thankfully, she took it in good grace, headed off with her sade pleet, and, I hope, thoroughly enjoyed her break.

1 Thumbs
382