He Is So Not Ready For Fortnite

, , , , , | Related | November 22, 2019

(On my way back to my department from lunch, I pass a mom with two small kids in her cart. The boy is about five years old, and is teary and sniffling.)

Boy: “That really hurt my feelings!”

Mom: “Oh?”

Boy: “The game really hurt my feelings!”

Mom: “Dying in the game hurt your feelings?”

Boy: “Yeah…”

Mom: “I’m sorry, honey.”

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Love And Candy Go Hand In Hand

, , , , , | Right | November 21, 2019

(I’m working in the women’s department. We only sell clothing and a few accessories, but we have a small dish of candy that customers can take from for free. A mother with a daughter who’s about five and a son of eight comes into the department.)

Boy: “Mom, is anything in here free?”

Mother: “No, nothing in life is free. Only the candy in this store is free.”

Girl: “Momma, love is free.”

Mother: *to boy* “Your sister is right; love is free, but that’s it.” *to the girl* “Good one!”

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Not Buying Red, But Certainly Seeing It

, , , , | Related | November 15, 2019

(I overhear this in a clothing store:)

Grown Woman: “DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT COLOR THIS IS? RED! THE COLOR OF BLOOD! I HAVE THREE DAUGHTERS; I DEAL WITH ENOUGH BLOOD EVERY WEEK!” 

Daughter: “Mom, stop! You’re embarrassing us!”

Grown Woman: “Not now, dear. Mommy’s having a temper tantrum.”

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We Have Similar Concerns About Fourth Of July

, , , , , | Friendly | November 1, 2019

(I overhear this conversation between a couple:)

Woman: “I wonder why Oktoberfest is always in October.”

Man: “Beats me.”

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When The Druggies Of The Sixties Expect Common Sense Now

, , , , , , | Right | October 6, 2019

(While working in my department, I overhear an elderly woman complaining to her son.)

Woman: “I honestly don’t understand how these people nowadays don’t have common sense. When I ask for Tylenol, they should know I mean acetaminophen and direct me to the generic stuff. What kind of level of stupidity is our nation stooping to?”

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