A Little Nugget Of Information

, , , , , , | Working | February 5, 2019

(Overheard between two employees at a popular fast food place:)

Employee: “[Coworker], can you stop eating the chicken nuggets long enough for me to fill this order?”

Jail Does Wonders For Your Credit Score

, , , , , , , | Working | February 4, 2019

(I’m in a clothing store at the checkout counter when I overhear this gem of a conversation.)

Cashier: “And did you want to save an extra 25% by signing up for a [Brand] credit card today?”

Customer: *airheaded giggle* “Oh, my husband would kill me if I did that.”

Cashier: *sweetly* “Well, if you put him as an authorized user, he’ll have a [Brand] credit card to use when he gets out of prison!”

(I actually had to duck out of line because I was giggling so hard.)

That’s A Thin Argument

, , , , , , | Friendly | February 3, 2019

(For context, I’m a young person and have fairly severe joint issues. This is overheard between two strangers while I am shopping in one of those buggy-type carts.)

Lady #1: “Ugh! I just hate when people pretend to be handicapped!”

Lady #2: “I don’t think she pretending; she’s skinny!”

(Uh, glad to know being a skeletal noodle validates my health issues?)

Many, MANY Red Flags

, , , , , | Friendly | January 7, 2019

(This is overheard at the gate waiting area in an airport. They both seem to be Americans by accent.)

Stranger #1: “So, what color do you see here?” *points at red*

Stranger #2: “Dark brown.”

Stranger #1: “So, you can’t see the red?”

Stranger #2: “No.”

Stranger #1: “Then what do you see as red?”

Stranger #2: “I can’t see any red.”

Stranger #1: “So, is this ‘red’ to you?” *points at purple*

Stranger #2: “That looks deep blue.”

Stranger #1: “Then is this ‘red’?” *points at actual dark brown*

Stranger #2: “Dark brown.”

Stranger #1: “You see brown! How about…?” *points at pink*

Stranger #2: “Yeah. That’s light blue.”

Stranger #1: “This?” *points at yellow*

Stranger #2: “Yellow.”

Stranger #1: “Oh, you see yellow, too!”

Stranger #2: “Yep.”

Stranger #1: “So, what’s red to you? Can you point at something red?”

Stranger #2: “I said I can’t see any red. Nothing at all will look red to me.”

Stranger #1: “There must be some color you see that looks red. Does black look red to you?”

Stranger #2: *sigh* “No… I see black.”

Me: *rolls eyes and walks away, muttering about how that’s not how being color blind works*

 

Conversation So Weird You Could Just Die

, , , , , , , , | Friendly | December 25, 2018

(I’m sitting in a common area near the learning commons, and I end up overhearing parts of a conversation between two girls and a boy.)

Girl #1: *just arriving* “I feel better now. My migraine’s gone.”

Girl #2: “Yay!”

Boy: “Did you do the test?”

Girl #1: “No, I went home and died. It was super effective!”

(Later on, they start talking about babies and families.)

Girl #1: “My parents thought they couldn’t have children, so they adopted me. A year later, my brothers were born!”

(Later:)

Girl #2: “My mom didn’t go into labour with me; I was in fetal distress…” *blah blah* “…so if Mom had given birth to me naturally, I would’ve strangled myself on my umbilical cord!” *blah blah* “…and they had to cut my head open!”

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