Their Listening Is Scrambled

, , , , , , | Right | July 15, 2020

I’m in the outdoor dining area of a busy cafe when I overhear this:

Customer: “I’ll have eggs, please.”

Waiter: “Poached, scrambled, or fried?”

Customer: *Instantly defensive and angry* “No, I SAID EGGS!”

Waiter: *Without blinking an eye* “Poached, scrambled, or fried?”

Thankfully, the customer’s friends all burst out laughing at him, and he seemed to realise how rude he was to assume the server was trying to up-sell him anything.

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Once You Go Black, You Never Go Medium

, , , , | Right | July 8, 2020

I’m eating my dinner at a rest stop when I overhear this exchange.

Cashier: “What size would you like your iced coffee?”

Customer: “Black.”

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I Swear, The Mouths On These Employees…

, , , , , | Working | June 24, 2020

I’m shopping at a twenty-four-hour grocery store pretty late at night. I’m browsing the aisles when I overhear this gem.

Customer: “Excuse me, are you in charge here?! That employee over there just swore at me!”

Employee: “The f*** did that b**** say now?!”

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Meanwhile, In The Kitchen They’re All “Overcooked”

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2020

(My boyfriend, my friend, and I are out at a local pub for dinner and darts. I’m playing a game on my phone while they face off.)

Friend: “What are you playing?”

Me: “[Game]. It’s pretty fun.”

(A waitress, unbeknownst to us, is walking by at this moment.)

Friend: “You should try Diner Dash. I like it a lot.”

Me: “Noted.”

Waitress: *appearing suddenly* “So, would you folks like your bill?”

Boyfriend: No, we just got here.”

Waitress: “Are you sure? I heard someone talk about dining and dashing.”

(We burst out laughing and filled her in on the conversation. My boyfriend and I go there frequently and now we are known as the “Dine-And-Dashers.” Joy.)

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The Holy Yo-yo

, , , , , | Right | January 22, 2020

(I overheard this in a toy store.)

Woman: “I don’t care if it’s solid gold and autographed by Jesus; no yoyo is worth thirty dollars!”

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