Why Won’t You Just Please Take Your Items?

, , , , , | Right | April 8, 2021

I am on the bus. A group of teenagers are at the back and talking rather loudly, so I hear one say the following:

Teen: “You are being such an unexpected item in the bagging area now!”

After hearing more of the conversation, it turned out she works for the local supermarket!

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Some Say She’s Still Searching

, , , , | Friendly | March 27, 2021

I am at a festival. A drunk girl walks past me talking on the phone and crying her eyes out.

Drunk Girl: “I keep yelling, ‘Marco,’ but people keep yelling back, ‘Polo.’”

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A Hot Take So Hot It Melts Steel Beams

, , , , , | Learning | March 27, 2021

I’m in college, and I recently overheard this in class.

Student: “How could 9/11 have been an inside job if the planes came from outside the building?”

How did you manage to get in here?

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Sexy Clothes Are Pregnant With Possibility

, , , | Right | March 14, 2021

I overhear two women trying on outfits in a clothing store.

Customer: “Is this too sexy? I can’t be too sexy, or I end up with more kids.”

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That Just Made Her Chardonnay-Day

, , , , | Right | March 5, 2021

I am working in a grocery store and I overhear a woman in another aisle talking to herself.

Customer: “Is Chardonnay vegan? I’m on a vegan diet! Let me Google it… It is!”

I never saw someone skipping away so happily before.

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