I’ve just sat down with some friends at a late-night diner. The guy serving us looks super tired.

Server: “Hey, guys, can I get you started on drinks?”

Me: “You okay there?”

Server: “Oh, yeah. All good. Thanks for asking. Just coming off the end of a double.”

Me: “Ouch! Sorry to add to your burdens. We’ll try to be nice customers, promise.”

Server: “Simply by saying that, you already are!”

We put in our order. As we’re eating, another table sits next to us, an older couple. Our server approaches them.

Server: “Hey guys, how are you doing this evening?”

Older Man: “What did you just call us?”

Older Woman: “How dare you!”

Server: “Sorry, did I say something wrong?”

Older Man: “You called us guys! We are a man and a woman! That is… reprehensible!”

Server: “I didn’t mean to offend, sir, I—”

Older Man: “—irrelevant! Now walk away, turn around, and try again!”

Server: “Sir, I have apologized. We are very busy, so if we could—”

Older Man: “—I said… walk away, turn around, and try again!”

The server sighs, does a 360, and tries again.

Server: “How are you mother-f***ers doing this evening?”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. Everyone on my table did. A real, slap-the-table belly-laugh. The older guy stands up, and the older woman just gasps.

Older Man: “How… dare you!”

Server: “Yeah… I’m out. Peace.” 

The server walks away, and the manager rushes over, apologizes, and takes their order. The manager also gives us our check at the end of the meal. He told us the server walked outside, smoked a cigarette, and left without coming back.

Manager: “Yeah, that’s the second time this has happened this month. Working here can… get to you.”

We tipped well.

This story reminded me of a similar experience while working at a 24-hour superstore.

My manager takes a call from a customer just after 9:30 PM.

Caller: *Sounding a bit frantic.* “What time y’all close?!”

Manager: “We’re open 24 hours, sir.”

Caller: “But what time do you close?!”

Manager: “We don’t.”

Caller: *Getting angry.* “That’s not possible, because employees have to sleep sometime!”

Manager: “We work in shifts, sir. We don’t all work every hour of the day. It’s nice of you to worry about the staff, but—”

Caller: “—I don’t give a s*** about the staff! I’m truckin’ down the highway, and I need to take a s*** real bad, and I can’t afford to pull in to your store to dump my load if you ain’t open!”

Related:
It’s An Open Secret

This didn’t happen to me, but to a coworker. She’s on register five. A customer plops his stuff down on register four, two feet away.

Coworker: “Oh, I’m actually right here on five.”

Customer: “So you’re not going to check me out?”

Coworker: “I can, but on the next register.”

Customer: “But I’m right here. You can’t walk two feet to help a customer?”

Coworker: “I have to stay on this register.”

Customer: “This is terrible service; I’m not coming back.”

Then he walked PAST HER REGISTER to leave and didn’t buy anything.

Many years ago, my cousin and I wanted to book a family holiday. We wanted to try something new and visit a country none of us had ever been to. For reasons unnecessary to this story, we couldn’t use our local travel agent. So, we headed into the next town, where there are two travel agencies on the same street corner. We randomly picked one. Both ladies working had customers, so we sat down to wait.

The first lady was putting together a trip for an older lady and was trying to book a night at a specific hotel. No matter what she tried, the system wouldn’t let her book the hotel. She asked the second lady for help. No dice.

Then she called the corporate helpline. The shop was part of a chain like TUI or Thomas Cook. It turned out they didn’t have a contract with that particular hotel; that’s why she couldn’t book it. Instead of finding another one, she started to argue with the person she had called. For several minutes, she went through variations of:

Travel Agent #1: “I don’t understand why it doesn’t work.”

Pause.

Travel Agent #1: “Can you book it for me?”

Pause.

Travel Agent #1: “Can you add it to the system?”

Pause.

Travel Agent #1: “Why can’t I book this hotel?”

Etc.

Meanwhile, the other lady was putting together a honeymoon trip for a young couple. They wanted to spend a few days in the Maldives. After looking at beach resorts for a while, they asked about the tides since they wanted to go snorkelling. Now, I know that the Maldives has two high tides per day, but in Germany, we are used to one a day.

The travel agent lady looked confused.

Travel Agent #2: “Tides? Why?”

Couple: “Well, if the high tide is very early or late during our stay, we might not be able to go snorkelling.”

Travel Agent #2: “Let me check.”

She then went over to her colleague and asked in a whisper:

Travel Agent #2: “Do you know what tides are?”

Her colleague looked equally confused and said no. So, she went back to the couple.

Travel Agent #2: “It’s going to be fine.”

At that point, my cousin and I looked at each other, got up, left, and walked into the other agency next door. There, we were set up with a lady who was actually from the country we wanted to travel to, and she was able to put together a fabulous trip.

I am writing this as I am sitting on the balcony of the same hotel she recommended all those years ago, looking at the full moon over Sutomore Beach and enjoying my fourth holiday in beautiful Montenegro.

I recently started working at my local electronics store, and one day whilst I was doing resets of returned computers, there was an elderly man sitting on one of the waiting chairs and asked me if I could queue him in for tech support.

It was me and, like, three others; we’re very short-staffed.

I asked him if he had an appointment, and he said no; he just told me about how he “had cancer” and “almost passed out waiting for us.” I hadn’t been properly trained just yet, so I asked one of my higher-ups to take care of him.

I overheard the conversation that ensued, and the man said again that he had cancer and almost passed out waiting, but my higher-up saw through him and said that if he’s prone to passing out simply sitting and waiting, then that’s an urgent medical issue and he should see a doctor, as a tech store is the last place he wants to be if he does pass out.

The guy just left, but man, was it satisfying to witness.