It Wasn’t The Summer Of Punctuality

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 10, 2017

(Mendocino County, California, is where all the hippies moved after the Summer of Love, and it is a very laid-back place. I am sitting in a restaurant and hear the woman in the next booth talking on her cell phone:)

Woman: “Okay, so I’ll see you there in an hour. Is that standard time or Mendocino time? Mendocino time? Okay, an hour and twenty minutes.”

Sick Of Not Being Sick

, , , , , , , , | Working | November 8, 2017

(I have been working at my current job for over a year and in that time have never taken a single day of sick leave and have only twice been late. I manage to overhear a couple managers talking about me:)

Manager #1: “Well, put [My Name] down for the early shift; he’s always on time.”

Manager #2: “And we know he probably won’t call in sick 15 minutes before, too. Most of the other guys here call in sick at least once a month; he’s gone a whole year and not a single sick day. For us, that must be a record.”

Manager #1: “Oh, yes. I forgot what it’s actually like to be able to trust the staff working here.”

(I figured I was just doing my job by literally turning up for it. It turns out that’s not the way anyone else does things. Now I’m much less surprised that my department has a high turnover rate for staff.)

They Put More Than A Few Feet Wrong

, , , , , | Right | November 8, 2017

(I am in a department store, and I overhear this discussion between two 20-somethings.)

Customer #1: “How big did you say the room is?”

Customer #2: “Ten feet by ten feet.”

Customer #1: “Okay! These boxes have ten square feet in them, so we can do the whole room with one box!”

It Can Be Nerve-Wracking Eating Popping Candy

, , , , , | Right | November 3, 2017

(Working as a wait assistant, it is my job to clear tables, bring water and bread, and help with whatever else needs to be done. I approach two young women sitting together so I can set down their water glasses and bread.)

Woman #1: “I’m nervous; I don’t know if I can do it.”

Woman #2: “There’s nothing to be nervous about. When the time comes, it will explode in your mouth, and you’ll enjoy it.”

Air Heads

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 26, 2017

(I am at the grocery store when two “stereotypical” teenage girls walk by. I catch this snippet of their conversation.)

Teenage Girl #1: “Oh, my God, like, have you ever wondered what air tastes like?”

Teenage Girl #2: “Like, I never have even thought of that. You’re, like, a total genius.”

Teenage Girl #1: “I’m, like, going to ask our science teacher this question. I bet he doesn’t know the answer, either!”

Teenage Girl #2: “Yeah, he’s going to have to totally admit you’re smart now! LOL!”

(I, too, was “laughing out loud,” but not for the same reason that they were.)

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