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The Place Beyond The Pines

, , , , , | Right | December 20, 2021

My parents and I are going Christmas tree shopping at an enormous garden center. I’m marveling at all the beautiful Christmas decor available when my dad hears something.

Customer: “Where do pinecones come from?”

Later:

Dad: “I should have told her they come from oak trees.”

The Sibling Shade!

, , , , , , | Related | July 25, 2021

I overhear this at a convenience store.

Boy: “Hey, sis, can I ask you a riddle?”

The teenager beside him shrugs.

Boy: “What always goes down but never goes up?”

Sister: “Your grades.”

Boy: *Dejected* “I hate that you are correct.”

For those curious, the proper answer was “rain.”

Don’t Bank On Parenting Happening Anytime Soon

, , , | Right | June 23, 2021

I am standing in line at a bank and see a young kid (about three or four) running around screaming and getting into anything he can that he shouldn’t be. Two ladies are in line in front of me, one of them the boy’s mother.

Lady: *To the mother.* “Should you get the kid and make him stay with us?”

Mother: “No, it’s fine. When the bank tellers get sick of his behavior they’ll tell him to come back.”

Finding Ways To Fudge It Up

, , , , | Right | June 10, 2021

I am stocking the bakery aisle and overhear three girls:

Girl: “Don’t talk to me about fudge. We talked about fudge yesterday and look where that got us.”

We’d Like To Refer You To Common Sense

, , , , , , | Working | May 14, 2021

I overhear a fast food worker on their phone when they should be working.

Worker: “Do you have to put in two weeks notice if you’ve only been there for a week? I’m done here, but I want to use them as a reference, so I want to make sure I do it right.”