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Dial-usion

, , , , | Right | April 16, 2026

I overheard my coworker’s phone conversation at work:

Coworker: *Answering phone.* “[Our place of business], this is [Coworker], how may I help you?”

Pause.

Coworker: “This is [our place of business]? We’re financial advisers.”

Pause.

Coworker: “Who were you looking to speak with?”

Pause.

Coworker: “Ma’am, you called ME. We did not call you.”

Pause.

Coworker: “Ma’am, you haven’t given me your name yet. How could I have called you if I don’t even know who I’m speaking to?”

Pause.

Coworker: “I am not a scammer—YOU called US.”

The lady hangs up.

The phone rings again! 

It’s her again. She’s still insisting that we called her.

Stopping A Wire Before It Crossed

, , , , , , | Right | April 14, 2026

I was getting my rent check in Money Orders (I don’t use my bank anymore because my landlord is a bad person, but that’s another story).

I was pleased when I saw there was no line. I was less pleased when I saw one cashier and a little, blue-haired old woman. However, I had my phone and some time, so I scrolled while I waited.

The computer on the far end of the counter crashed, so the cashier and the old woman moved to the computer closest to where I was standing. I look up when the cashier has to call her supervisor. There are now two people behind me.

The supervisor comes over, does supervisor things, and walks back away. The cashier asks all the questions they have to ask, and I am hoping this will be over soon.

Cashier: “And why are you sending this money?”

Old Woman: “My landlady emailed me that she is travelling. She told me she wouldn’t be able to pick up my rent check. Told me to cancel it and wire her the money.”

The cashier stopped and then turned away from her computer.

Cashier: “Ma’am, does your landlady usually email you?”

Old Woman: “No, I was actually really confused, she normally calls me or just comes by the house. She’s even helped me put my groceries away before.”

Cashier: “Okay, so I think you’re being scammed. Someone is attempting to steal your rent money. Have you cancelled the rent check?”

The woman indicated she had.

Cashier: “Okay, I want you to go home and call your leasing company or landlady. Let her know what’s going on, see if she’s travelling, and work out something else. Don’t wire money to someone you don’t know.”

The woman was understandably confused. She tried to get the cashier to do the transaction anyway.

Cashier: “Ma’am, if she is travelling, you can mail her a check, or she can have someone else collect it. If I send this money without you confirming, you will lose it. I will not be able to get it back. Please just call your landlady. I am on until 9 PM tonight, and I will personally wire the money if you talk to your landlady on the phone and she agrees that this is how she wants the money. I am not going to do it based on an email. I want to make sure you don’t lose money.”

The old woman left. I made my way to the counter and thanked the cashier for protecting that woman. I think elder scams are a new form of evil.

Then I spent twenty minutes with various computer issues. One froze, one locked out the cashier, even with supervisor override, and the last computer wouldn’t take my information. Finally, the one that froze and crashed let us do the thing.

All through it, the cashier was chipper and helpful. When she noticed I was struggling with standing (I have an invisible disability) she got me a chair. Not the usual story, but it warmed my heart to still see a lovely cashier. She deserves a raise and all the great things in life.

Cart Wars: Senior Edition

, , , , | Friendly | April 13, 2026

I’m shopping in a grocery store where the aisles are admittedly quite tight. An old lady has her cart sideways in the aisle, essentially blocking anyone from getting through. She’s reading the ingredient list on an item and ignoring the customers who tut loudly at her before turning their carts around.

That is… until another lady pushes her cart over, and says loudly:

Other Lady: “Move your cart! You’re blocking the aisle for everybody!”

Cart Lady: “Excuse me! I’m sixty-f******-five years old, and I will be addressed with the respect an elder deserves!”

Other Lady: “Well, I’m sixty-f******-seven years old! Turns out you age better when you’re not an inconsiderate b**** who blocks entire aisles just to get a kick out of it. Now move your cart before you see what I get a kick out of!”

Cart Lady moved her cart barely, but enough for the other lady to push through. There was some comment from Cart Lady about reporting her for “violent threats,” but then she went back to her ingredient analysis, trying not to look too embarrassed.

Just Tap Out, Mate

, , , , , , , , , | Right | April 12, 2026

A customer is trying to tap their credit card to pay. He’s an older fella, and the cashier is a young woman.

Cashier: “Sir, it’s asking you to insert your card and enter your PIN.”

Customer: “And I told you I don’t want to do that. Are you having trouble understanding my English?”

Cashier: “I… understand it just fine, sir. I don’t have any control over which transactions can be paid with a tap and which need a PIN inserted. That’s decided by your bank.”

Customer: “I don’t want to type in my PIN in a public space! It’s not secure!”

Cashier: “Sir, it’s more secure than simply tapping your card.”

Customer: “Shut up! I will not be told how to spend my money by a little immigrant girl.”

I’m about to step in and tell this guy to shut the f*** up, but a manager appears before I make more than a couple of steps.

Manager: “Mate! Just insert the card or use another one. Being a racist pr**k isn’t going to make the card go through.”

Customer: “It’s not racist to expect some basic English comprehension and some decent customer service, not to mention that this girl here doesn’t even know how to operate her machine! Did you know immigrants have taken all the jobs?! Did you?!”

The manager puts his finger up to his lips and does the ‘shhh’ noise, while also holding the same finger from his other hand up to the customer’s face, doubling the shushing. Then he says calmly:

Manager: “Did you know if you put your top lip and your bottom lip together, you’d shut the f*** up?”

He did shut the f*** up, as he abandoned his shopping and walked out!

When You Can’t Keep Calm And Carry On

, , , , , | Working | April 12, 2026

Our manager has assigned three of us to work together on a project. One of my coworkers, who is originally from the UK, is talking to the manager near me.

British Coworker: “[Manager], I’m happy to work with [My Name] on the project, but I cannot under any circumstances be expected to produce good work with [Coworker].”

Manager: “What are you talking about? She knows the work.”

British Coworker: “I’m sure, but she can’t help but throw in, I’m going to be diplomatic and use the phrase ‘running commentary’, about the UK and me being British.”

Manager: “What do you mean?”

British Coworker: “When she first picked up on my accent, she asked if I was an English refugee escaping now that the UK has been overtaken by Sharia law.”

Manager: “Ooookay, so she’s a bit misinformed.”

British Coworker: “The last time I worked with her, she asked me if I was going to fix my face now that I was in a country with real healthcare and not in one with all of that socialist stuff.”

Manager: “I feel like you’re exaggerating a little bit.”

British Coworker: “I really… really wish I was.”

Manager: “Well, let’s just give her another chance, yeah? Maybe she was having some off days.”

[British Coworker] sighs but tells [Manager] she’ll give it a shot, but will have zero tolerance for any more passive-aggressive comments.

On day one of working together on the project, we lasted almost an hour before this happened:

Coworker: “So, [British Coworker], did you vote for Brexit, or did you vote for the people who want to replace the statue of Winston Churchill with Osama Bin Laden?”

By hour two, [Coworker] had been… reassigned.