Driving Below The Speed Limit Is For Babies

, , , , , , , , | | Right | June 18, 2019

I work for a luxury car company. It’s my job to be on the sales floor and take people on test drives, etc.

One day, a man comes into the dealership whose English isn’t the best. He has booked a test drive via the online feature.

When we walk towards the car he will be test driving, he stops me with a wave of his hands and rushes off to get something out of his car. I think, at first, that he’s getting his glasses or something, but he comes back with a tiny baby in a car seat. Not unusual, but worth mentioning.

We start driving down the dual carriageway, and I mention that if he wants to test the sixth gear, he can, as the speed limit is 70.

Instead, the man’s speed starts to edge towards 100 mph, and every time I try and ask him to slow down, it becomes clear that he can’t understand what I am saying.

Finally, through wild hand movements, we manage to get back onto the smaller roads to drive back to the dealership. The man starts driving on the wrong side of the road.

I have to grab the steering wheel to move us out of the oncoming path of a lorry, whilst I am being berated in German by the man.

I pull the handbrake — when it’s safe to do so — and drive us back to the dealership.

When we get back, the driver gets into his car and drives off without a word…

…leaving me with his infant daughter in the test car.

The phone number provided doesn’t work and in the end, we have to phone the police because we don’t know what to do. They come with social services and take the baby into their care.

The police eventually reunite the daughter with her mother. It turns out that the man was her father, who has visitation every other weekend.

The man submits such a poor feedback form about the test drive that I could lose my job and I am subjected to an internal review. Luckily, the camera and audio footage from the car show what actually happened.

The speeding ticket we receive from the test drive, with his photo driving, also helps me keep my job.

We’ll see if the ticket gets paid or not…

Murder Is Apparently Only 80% Engaging

, , , , , | | Learning | June 15, 2019

(I am at a teacher’s college in a Classroom Management course.)

Professor: “This is a list of the 40 most common ways students act out or can be disruptive in class. There is one technique you can use to prevent 80% of these. Can anyone guess what that is?”

(I’m seated in the front row, and this comment comes out louder than I intended.)

Me: “Murder.”

Professor: “What?! No! Not murder! Engagement! Engage a student’s attention and they’ll be too occupied to misbehave!”

(She continues the lesson for two more minutes or so before suddenly saying:)

Professor: “How does murder only solve 80% of that list, anyway? What about the other 20%?”

Unfiltered Story #154741

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 13, 2019

(I’m watching two suspicious looking men browsing at the men’s clothes before the taller and bulkier one comes to the till)

Man: I want a discount on these items!

Me: *Raises an eyebrow* I can’t give you a discount. its company policy.

Man: But I am homeless! Have you not seen me on the streets?! You are a charity, you should be giving this stuff away for free.

Me: *Puts hand on his hips* No I haven’t seen you on the street and i’m sorry about your situation…But you are in a Charity Shop. Shop being the word of importance meaning you have to buy the goods in it. I still can’t give you a discount, it is company policy.

Man: But you get this stuff for free!

Me: And the money gained from selling it goes towards the terminally ill.

Man: Hmph! Fine.

*He then proceeds to take out a giant wad of £50 notes and pays for the items with a £20. More than enough money to put a deposit on a house or rent somewhere to live for quite some time. Clearly lying.*

Unfiltered Story #154729

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 12, 2019

(I volunteer at the Olympic park where there is an information and mobility service which is where I do my work. This includes hiring mobility scooters out to people and we have to prioritise those with mobility issues who want to visit the park (eg. pregnant, elderly). This boy who looked 12 or 13 (considering I’m 16) came up to me and we sometimes do have to try and deter teenagers from trying to hire the scooters if they want to mess about in them)
Customer: Can I hire one of your scooters?
Me: We have to prioritise people with mobility issues? Do you have mobility issues?
Customer (jokingly): I’m fat. (he was)
Me (jokingly): You might want to walk it off then!
Customer (seemingly upset): What?!
(He then walked away and if I did hurt his feelings, I’m sorry but I can’t rent out scooters to teenagers unless they’re in crutches or something like that so…)

Unfiltered Story #153758

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 7, 2019

I work in a grocery and its near closing time. I’m attending the self check outs when a customer asks me a question about one of our offers. He is looking at our battery offer, which is “Buy one, get one free”.

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes, sir? How can I help?”

Customer “What is this buy one get one free deal? Is it where I buy one and get one for free?”

Me: “… Yes it is. You buy one pack of batteries and you get a second pack for free.”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks!”

Sometimes I wonder…

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