Unfiltered Story #182532

, , , | Unfiltered | January 17, 2020

(The chain I work for has the format of customers ordering from a catalogue and staff gather the order. I am sent to a different branch on short notice due to unforeseen circumstances and there only being two staff in the store. Owing to different shapes and sizes of store no two sites use the same layout.)

Customer: Get lost did you?

Me: Afraid so, I’m based in [my store] and am on loan for the day.

(The customer goes silent as I unload his goods)

Me: Have a lovely day!

Customer: *recovering* You too.

It’s Not Adding Up How It’s Just Not Adding Up For Her

, , , , , , , | Right | January 8, 2020

(A furious woman has called in claiming we are overcharging her on her credit card statement. She is screaming and cursing down the phone at me but has started to run out of steam.)

Me: “On the current statement it shows that last month your total was £390. Is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “And it shows that you paid the full amount of £390. Is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “And then it shows that you made purchases this month to the value of £276. Is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay, and it’s showing that the total owing this month is £276, so you have not been overcharged.”

Caller: “Are you f****** stupid or something? That’s too much! You’re overcharging me! Idiot.”

Me: “Okay, let’s break this down. You spent £52 in [Shop #1], then £137 in [Shop #2], £40 in [Shop #3] and £47 in [Shop #4]. Is that correct?”

Caller: “Yes, I’m not an idiot. I know where I f****** used my card and I only used it four times.”

Me: “£52 + £137 + £40 + £47 is £276, which is exactly what’s owing on your statement.”

Caller: “It’s not f****** right! How stupid can you be to not see that?”

Me: “Do you have a calculator there? Can you add up the four transactions yourself?”

Caller: “That’s your job. I’m not doing your f****** job for you.”

Me: “Okay, but you agree that you paid your statement in full last month. You also agree that the four transactions on this statement and the amounts are right, but when I add them together you are insistent that the total is wrong. Maybe it would help if you added them up yourself?”

Caller: “I’ve already done that and I’m telling you it’s wrong! How can you work for a bank and not be able to do basic f****** maths?”

Me: “With all due respect, I’m not the one struggling with the maths here. I cannot help you further, so I will be terminating this call. I suggest you visit your nearest branch and have someone talk you through your statement as I can’t make this any simpler for you.”

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What Amazing Lock Luck!

, , , , , | Working | January 3, 2020

(I am a grocery delivery driver for one of the largest supermarkets in the UK. I am having an off day, to say the least. Due to the hot weather, the freezer unit on my van hasn’t been operating quite as well as it should, so I decide to leave the engine running — and as such the freezer — while I am getting shopping out of the van and ready to take to the customer. In this particular instance, I get out of the van and manage to lock myself out completely — with the engine running so at least the freezer is still going. I phone my store and they agree to send out the spare keys. After I spend five minutes sitting around sheepishly doing nothing, the customer comes out from her house.)

Customer: “Did you lock yourself out of the van?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “My husband is a locksmith; do you want him to help?”

(So, it turned out that by pure luck my customer’s husband was a locksmith whose job was to break into vans when drivers lock the keys inside. He used some specialist tools, popped the lock open, and retrieved my keys. I called my store and they cancelled the spare keys. I also refunded — at my manager’s instructions — a few items from their order as thanks for the effort.)

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Delivering Back Some Bad Behavior

, , , , , | Right | January 2, 2020

(I work as a delivery driver for one of the largest supermarkets in England, delivering groceries to customers at home. On this particular day, I’m off-road and working backroom. One of the other drivers has had to stop driving his van because smoke is pouring out of the engine and into the cab. He is just around the corner from the store so he returns and takes the shopping back out in a spare vehicle. His van is logged as late and customers are notified. One customer calls customer service and demands a callback from someone at the store. My colleague does this.)

Colleague: “Hi, this is [Colleague] from [Supermarket]. I understand you want a callback regarding your delivery?”

Customer: “Yes. Why is my shopping late?”

(It isn’t actually late yet; it’s still within the booked delivery window.)

Colleague: “Yes, unfortunately, one of our vans had some mechanical trouble and broke down, so the driver had to return to store and change vehicle, but he is out on the road now and should be with you in the next ten minutes.” *still well within the delivery window*


(Several callback attempts were made but the customer just blocked the number. When the driver finally got to the address, the customer was incredibly rude to him. She refused to take the shopping at first, and then accepted it but was verbally abusive to the driver, making racist remarks and implying he was mentally handicapped. The customer was blacklisted.)

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Dealing With You Is Our Specialty  

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2019

(Passing a colleague’s desk, I note he is dealing with a very difficult — we have all dealt with her — manager at a very remote location. She refuses to do anything we ask and we usually end up sending a tech to the location to do stupidly easy fixes.)

Coworker: “Yes, ma’am. We already have on our system that you are a very special client.”

Me: *chokes back the laughter until she finishes the call*

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