There Are Surprises In Store! Just Not In Yours

, , , , , | Working | December 11, 2018

(I’m the idiot in this story, though in my defence I was very tired. I work for one of the largest supermarkets in the country. We have a standard uniform in all stores; the only difference is that my uniform features a high-visibility vest since I work in a loading yard and drive vehicles. I have just completed an early-morning shift on my sixth consecutive day of work. I forgot to buy some lunch in my store, so I stop at my local one on the way home to get some bits. As I’m walking into the store, another customer stops me.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

(Thinking it can’t be about me, I keep walking.)

Customer: “Hey, EXCUSE ME! STOP!”

(I actually stop and look around to see a customer glaring at me.)

Me: “What?”

Customer: “How rude! I’m asking for some help here, and you’re just ignoring me.”

Me: “I, uh, don’t work here, mate… Try customer service.”

(The customer just stares at me, confused, while I try and figure out what is going on. Then, I look down to see I’m wearing my full uniform from work, and that the customer quite rightly assumes I work here.)

Me: “Oh… Right, sorry. I don’t work at this branch, and I have just finished an early start shift.”

(The customer seemed to accept this and move on, but then I spent the next twenty minutes walking around a store being asked stuff when I had no clue, since I didn’t work there. I was even asked by a floor manager which department I was in… Note to self: just buy things in your own store.)

Dying To Get Out Of Detention

, , , , , , , | Learning | December 2, 2018

(I’m a school receptionist. When students sign in late, they come to me.)

Students: “Miss, we’re sorry we’re late. [Road] was closed because someone died.”

(They give pretty specific details to the death, which I track down, but I put them on detention. They come back at break time.)

Students: “Why do we have detention?”

Me: “I looked into that accident and the road, and found out the closure was yesterday, not today.”

Students: “That’s not true!”

Me: “I pulled news sites and looked; they all give [date], which was yesterday. Now go to detention before I give you one after school!”

(I tell their head of year afterwards.)

Me: “I had half the mind to give them detention for that, too. It’s low.”

Head Of Year: “Keep it in your back pocket, and tell the parents when they come in for a meeting.”

Contactless Isn’t THAT Powerful!

, , , , | Right | December 2, 2018

(I’m still quite new to my job, and I’m working one of my first solo shifts when the following happens. Our till system uses both a mouse and a touchscreen, and sometimes they can be a little over-sensitive, which makes it not uncommon for us to bring up the wrong menu when using them. I’ve been there long enough to know about this, and to watch out for it whenever I’m serving. Our card payment system isn’t contactless, and customers have to physically enter their card and PIN number for anything to be processed. A woman comes up to my till with a single item. I say hi and go to scan it when the till prints out a receipt for the last transaction. I’m a little surprised by this, which must show on my face, but I quickly realise that I’ve simply left the cursor over the “print receipt” button, move the mouse, and put the old receipt in the bin.)

Customer: “What was that? What’s happened?”

Me: “The till just printed out a duplicate receipt for the last transaction; nothing to worry about.”

Customer: “Have I been charged for their stuff?”

Me: “No, not at all. It was just a copy receipt.”

Customer: “Are you sure, though?”

Me: “Positive. It didn’t bring their items up on my screen; it was just a copy of their receipt. Besides, the card machine isn’t ready for payment, your card was nowhere near it, you’ve not entered your PIN or any other details, and you’ve not handed me any money; there’s no way to charge you.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I don’t want to be charged for someone else’s things!”

Me: “Definitely. There’s absolutely no way for that to happen.”

(She still looks dubious, but there’s nothing more I can say, so I scan her item and tell her the total.)

Customer: “Are you sure I’ve not been charged?”

Me: “Yes, 100% certain. The total is [price], the same as is on [item], and you can see it up there on the till’s customer display.”

(She finally pulled out her card — which had been in her bag up to this point — and paid. I finished the transaction and handed her her item as she scrutinised her receipt, which, of course, only had one item on it. On her way out, she turned to her husband and said, “I need to keep an eye on that card; I think I’ve been charged for someone else’s stuff.”)

Failing To Get A Good Deal As They Only Trade In Insults

, , , , , | Right | November 29, 2018

(I work in a retro and modern video games store that sells used consoles and games. Per policy, we don’t typically give cash refunds unless the item is faulty and we can’t get it fixed, but only within two weeks of purchase. Alternately, if it still works, it can be traded in for in-store credit. This information is printed on the receipt.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this game, please.” *slams down game case*

Me: *picking up the case* “Okay, what’s the issue with it?”

Customer: “I changed my mind.”

Me: “Well, we don’t give cash refunds for items due to changing your mind, but I can offer you an in-store credit of [amount], if you have your receipt.” *about to open the case to check the disc*

Customer: “No, I want a refund; it doesn’t work!” *slides a crumpled receipt towards me*

(I realise I’m dealing with a difficult customer.)

Me: *I pick up the receipt and notice it is for a sale about six months ago* “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t offer you a refund or credit, because you bought it six months ago.”

(I start to close up the case and hand it back to her, explaining that if she wants, she can sell it to us for a reduced amount of either cash or credit, if it works, but that we cannot accept a refund.)

Customer: *suddenly screaming* “NO, IT DOESN’T WORK! I WANT A REFUND NOW. IF YOU DON’T, I’LL CALL THE POLICE ON YOU!”

(My assistant manager steps in at this point, as he can see I’m getting stressed out.)

Assistant Manager: “Do you know what the police will do when they get here? Nothing.”

Customer: *still yelling* “YOU’RE NOTHING!”

(She snatched the case and receipt from my hands, only to chuck them towards my face and leave. It took a few minutes, but eventually we both found it funny that she thought the police would do anything about it, and she left the game behind, anyway, so she got nothing out of it!)

I Told You That In Confidence

, , , , , | Learning | November 28, 2018

(As part of our training for our job, we have to attend a workshop on communication and confidence. The trainer has asked us all to go round and say what we want to get out of the workshop, but for some reason, we are not allowed to repeat what anyone else has said. I am near the end of the group of people and am therefore struggling to think of what different thing I might want to take from the workshop. I also happen to have a very common name.)

Trainer: “And you?”

(I say the first thing that comes to mind.)

Me: “Uh. Okay. I would like to, uh, I guess, be able to address my colleagues with confidence and not come across as doubting what I’m thinking when, uh, presenting my ideas.”

Trainer: *smiling* “Ah, I see. A bit of lack of self-esteem.”

Me: “Uh, yeah.”

Trainer: “You’re not someone who thinks that your job application was accepted by mistake, or that it’s a case of mistaken identity?”

Me: “Well, it is possible, I guess, but I guess I wasn’t thinking—“

Trainer: “Really? How likely is it that they mixed up something as important as a job offer with someone with the same name as you?”

Me: “Er. Well, actually, in my year at high school, there were three of us with the same first name and second name. They tried to enter me for the wrong exam papers several times, gave me someone else’s report at least once, entered me as dyslexic for one of my papers, and then nearly didn’t give me my exam certificate because they assumed my name on the student list was a typo. Among other things. So, uh, if we’re going by my past experience, I’d say it’s not impossible that someone with my name applied and the paperwork was mixed up. But I never really considered it until you said it, and now I’m wondering about it.”

Trainer: *a little flustered, having clearly not realised how common my name is* “Right. Okay. I can see why you might think that. Erm, I’m sure that didn’t happen, though. Moving on…”

(Everyone joked later that I was the only person to come out of the training with LESS confidence than when I started.)

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