Unfiltered Story #195810

, , , | Unfiltered | June 2, 2020

(I work in a really small café wich offer, among other stuff, a large selection of gluten free, dairy free and vegan cakes)

Me: Good morning! What can I get you?
Customer: Is your soup of the dairy free?
Me: Yes, there is just (list all the ingredients)
Customer: Are you sure? I’m terribly allergic to dairy, it would be really bad if I were to eat some!!
Me: I made the soup this morning myself so don’t worry!
Customer: Ok then. Can I have a soup and a soya latte?
(After eating her soup and drinking her coffee the lady returns to the counter)
Customer: I think I’ll treat myself to some cake now!
Me: Sure! We have a very good selection of dairy free cakes, this is a…
Customer: No thank you! I want the mango and cream cake!
Me: B-But….there is milk in there…and butter…and A LOT of whipped cream…
Customer: Ooo it’s not a big deal dear, can I have one slice to take away as well?

Unfiltered Story #195049

, , , | Unfiltered | May 31, 2020

(I’m another customer doing the grocery shopping when I hear this conversation between a customer in cook’s whites and a shop clerk, we’re in the aisle with kits for making various foods)
Customer: There is no dumpling mix here, do you know where it is?
Clerk: Not off the top of my head…
Me: Why not try the home baking aisle?
Customer: Why didn’t I think of that? You should work here!
(The customer and his friend walks off, I turn to the clerk)
Me: No offence to you, but if you get minimum wage I’ll stick with my current job, it’s better paid.

Not Quite What Gresley Had In Mind

, , , , , , , | Related | May 28, 2020

My uncle messages me asking how we’re coping with lockdown.

Me: “We’re okay but [My Son] keeps asking me to take him to see the dinosaurs on the train.”

Uncle: “I presume that’s some sort of funfair ride he likes?”

Me: “No, the Natural History Museum. We go there on the train.”

Uncle: “Oh, I see. You mean that he wants you to take him, on the train, to see the dinosaurs. Sorry, I had a vision of the Flying Scotsman piloted by a stegosaur.”

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“Pas Toujours Raison” – For Her

, , , , , | Right | May 26, 2020

I am flying back to the USA from Heathrow airport in London. I get to security and there is a woman in front of me with one of those HUGE purses, larger than the backpack I am carrying. There are multiple signs that explain the limitations of what you can bring on board a flight and even a guy going down the line telling us the limits.

We unload our respective bags and shoes into the trays and send them through the x-ray machine. While I am waiting for the lady herself to get scanned, I glance back at the x-ray machine, which has stopped. A cluster of people around the display are all peering intently at it and pointing at the screen.

After I get through the scanner and start getting my stuff, I see that they have pulled the lady aside and had her dump her purse out into a tray. It is loaded with several scores of bottles of perfume, some of which individually look to exceed the total liquid limit, let alone the single bottle limit. As I walk past I can hear the conversation.

Officer: “You cannot bring this much liquid on the plane.”

Lady: “But it’s just perfume.”

Officer: “That doesn’t matter; you still cannot bring it on the plane.”

Lady: “But it’s expensive perfume!”

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Unfiltered Story #194909

, , , | Unfiltered | May 24, 2020

(I am female, eighteen and working in a chain corner shop for a few weeks before going to uni. It’s an old shop building, converted not long ago into this format, and the dairy products are placed opposite the counter. I watch, smiling and friendly, as a young woman only a couple of years younger than me fills a basket with three cartons of lactose-free milk, a lactose-free butter and a lactose-free cheese. She is quite skinny but looks healthy. She turns round and begins unloading her items onto the counter, asking me about my day. Suddenly, as I begin scanning the first of her milk cartons, a middle-aged woman bustles up behind her and tuts loudly. Both me and the girl stop and turn in surprise.)
Me: Can I help you, ma’am?
Woman: *to girl* How old are you?
Girl: I’m 16, why?
Woman: Already trying to lose weight? *she points to the lactose-free items* Trying to be even skinnier, like a stick? Because you think you’re fat?
Girl: No, I –
Me: Excuse me, ma’am, may you refrain from insulting this poor girl?
Woman: *ignores me and begins to remove the lactose-free items and replace them with non-lactose-free ones from the dairy produce just behind us* There. Put some weight on. You’re like a stick already.
Girl: *close to crying*
Me: Ma’am, if you continue to verbally abuse her I will have to call store security.
Woman: Teenagers these days, trying to starve themselves thin and going on every diet imaginable.
Girl: *clearing her tears* Miss, you’re being very rude.
Woman: What? How DARE YOU -”
Girl: First of all, those items are for my mum, who has a severe lactose intolerance to the point that she has to be hospitalised. Also, I have a rare metabolic disorder, which means I cannot put weight on. It’s not high metabolism, which you can slow down, because with high metabolism you put on weight and then burn it off. I don’t put the weight on at all, though I absorb the nutrients. So unsupportive comments such as yours are not going to change anything about me.
My Manager: *sails from the back room* I have heard it already, ma’am – oh, (Girls’ name)!
Girl: Uncle (Manager’s name)?
Me: *bemused* Wait, you’re (Manager’s) niece?
Girl and Manager: *nod*
Woman: WELL, your mother is probably a diet-obssessed faddie.
Manager: That woman that you are talking about is my little sister, and she has the lactose intolerance to the extent that (Girl) was talking about. I would like you to leave.
Woman: *huffs and leaves, muttering obscenities*
Me: My little sister has a severe intolerance to gluten, I know what it’s like. Replace your items and you can have them free of charge.
Girl: Thank you, so much. I’m sorry you have to deal with people like that as a matter of course.
(My manager later received a call from the woman, who gave her details and filed a complaint about him and me. Needless to say, she is now banned from shopping at any of our chain of shops.)