How To Monday On A Saturday

, , , , , , | Working | October 11, 2017

(My former boss is an incredibly high-strung jerk without any kind of time management or people skills. I receive these shrieking voicemails on my personal cell phone one day when she’s on vacation. The first voicemail:)

Boss: “I have been trying to reach you and [Colleague #1] and [Colleague #2] at the office for an hour this morning. How dare you slack off like this?! We have deadlines! Just because I’m away does not mean you get to waltz into work whenever you feel like it! There are important cases that need to be done by the time I get back! If someone doesn’t call me back in the next ten minutes, you are all fired; do you understand me?! Your a** is out on the street, and I will make sure no one hires you! I will have you and [Colleague #1] disciplined by the [Licensing Authority]! YOU WILL NEVER WORK AGAIN!

(Her screams toward the end escalate in volume and shrillness to the point where I can’t keep the phone against my ear. Then, I listen to the second voicemail.)

Boss: “Um, someone here pointed out that it is Saturday. Please ignore the last voicemail. But I expect you to call me as soon as you get in on Monday! We have important deadlines to make, and I’m extending my vacation, so I need you and [Colleagues #1 and #2] to be on the ball!”

(And she wondered why she couldn’t keep even incompetent employees, and why she didn’t have a better reputation in the field.)

Time Zoned Out

, , , , | Working | October 2, 2017

(I work for a video game publishing company, and some of us work remotely from home. One of our developers is foreign, and we have weekly catch-up meetings via video chat with him to check in with the status of his project, see if there’s anything he or his team needs, and so forth. One of our new employees has just been brought into this process, and I wake up the morning of the weekly call to a slew of increasingly frantic messages from him.)

Coworker: “Where were you guys?! I’ve been waiting for you for eight hours!”

Me: “What? Why? That’s like… 1:00 AM.”

Coworker: “Uh, the meeting?! I mean, I guess [Developer] didn’t show up for it either, but this could have been a disaster. I didn’t have any of the information for him! That’s your and [Other Coworker]’s job! What if I’d screwed up?”

Me: “Well, the meeting is at 9:30 AM, EST.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but he’s in [Overseas Country]! Adjusting for time difference, that’s—”

Me: “Dude, he’s from there. He’s been living in [US City] for, like, 20 years, hence the EST meeting time.”

Coworker: “But… I thought… God, I’m so tired.”

(At least we know he’s a dedicated worker, if not detail-oriented!)

Stay “Switched” On After This

, , , , , | Working | September 26, 2017

(I am a part-time employee. On one of my days off, I get a call.)

General Manager: “Where are you? Aren’t you coming in today?”

Me: “What? No, I don’t think so.”

(I double-check the schedule just to make sure, and I am indeed off.)

Me: “No, I’m listed as being off today.”

General Manager: “But [New Coworker] said you were trading shifts with her today!”

Me: “What? No one told me!”

General Manager: “Huh? But she said you were fine with it! That’s why I switched you!”

Me: “She never even mentioned it to me.”

General Manager: “Well, can you come in anyway? She’s not answering her phone.”

(I was able to come in, and only missed the first hour or so of the shift. Shockingly, the new worker didn’t show up on the day she supposedly “switched” for, either, so I had to work that day, too. My GM got wise after that though, and started conferring with me whenever she asked to “switch.” She stopped showing up to work about a month later, and then had the gall to apply for unemployment.)

Shifting Responsibilities

, , , , , , | Working | September 25, 2017

(Our director has to do the scheduling himself and he soon discovers this is far too “complicated” for him. He starts using an online programme; everyone can easily put in whether they’re available or not. Soon, the director starts changing schedules at the last moment, sometimes scheduling people in only one night before. I fight this myself by checking the schedules as soon as they are ready and putting every free day on “unavailable.” However, this doesn’t mean he stops making changes, like changing my starting time from 10 am to 9 am the night before. I live quite close by and I can use the money, so I only protest this if his demands are impossible. One morning, I and several colleagues have our starting times changed to 9 am. I overhear the following conversation between the director and a guy who comes in 20 minutes late.)

Director: “You were supposed to be here at 9 am! You can’t just show up later! You always must follow [Online System]!”

Coworker: “I know, but I only saw the change this morning. Last night, I wasn’t home, you see.”

Director: “You should have installed the app on your phone.”

Coworker: “My phone isn’t a smartphone. You’d better give me a call next time.”

Director: “Erm, no, we don’t do phone calls!”

(Some people seem to think they’re always right, even when reality contradicts with their view.)

Trying To Daylight Save You From This Sob Story

, , , | Working | September 14, 2017

(I have just started a new job and have worked a couple of shifts. Unfortunately, at the same time, before I can even sign the contract, my sister-in-law, who has terminal cancer, is advised to begin palliative care, and asks her immediate family for help and support. It means I can’t commit to great blocks of time at work while I’m on-call to help her and my brother, so I have to refuse the job offer. On top of this, it has just switched to daylight savings, so the day I know about it, an hour before my next shift begins, I have to let my manager know. It’s 7:30 am, but everybody thinks it’s 6:30 because of daylight savings. I decide to spare my manager the sob story.)

Manager: *sleepily* “Hello?”

Me: “Hi [Manager], it’s [My Name]. Listen, I’ve had a look at the contract and worked a couple of shifts and decided the work just isn’t for me, though I thank you very much for the opportunity. Because of personal circumstances, I’d prefer not to work my shift today, but I realise this is very short notice, so if you really need me, I’m happy t—”

Manager: “You woke me up at 6:30 to tell me you quit?”

Me: “Well, I wanted to make sure you knew as soon as I did, and it’s—”

Manager: “Look, you made a commitment, and you need to come into work today.”

Me: “Yep! Like I said, I know this is short notice, and I’m really sorry because this was such a great—”

Manager: “It’s SIX THIRTY, [My Name]. Why did you think you could wake me up at 6:30?”

Me: “It’s 7:30, [Manager]. Daylight savings just—”

Manager: *exasperated* “Just get into work. Make sure you bring in your details so we can pay you for today.”

(I went into work. Nobody was there until an hour later. We opened late.)

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