I work in a hotel in Bangkok, Thailand. I’m Thai, but was born in the USA, and while all of the concierge staff are perfectly fluent in English, I’m usually the one who’s assigned to help our more ‘interesting’ guests.
A woman in flowing white linen pants and sandals drifts up to the concierge desk. I remember checking her in less than half an hour ago. I remembered her as she didn’t stop mentioning that she’s a Buddhist and how enlightened she is, and that she’s here to similarly enlighten all those around her.
Customer: “Hi. I think there’s negative energy in my room.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Can you explain what you mean?”
Customer: “It’s just… heavy. The vibrations are off. I’m very sensitive to these things. I’m a practicing Buddhist.”
Me: “Is there a problem with the air conditioning? Noise? Smell?”
Customer: “No, no. The room itself is fine. It’s just… spiritually hostile.”
Of course it is. I check the system.
Me: “I do have another room available, but it isn’t the suite you booked. It’s a smaller room on a lower floor, and it faces the interior atrium instead of the city.”
Customer: “Oh, absolutely not. I didn’t fly all the way to Thailand to stare at… walls. I’m a practicing Buddhist, and that’s bad for me.”
Me: “Then the suite you’re in is the only one available tonight.”
Customer: “Why is the hotel so heavily booked?”
I point at the calendar on the counter, which shows it’s the last few days of the local year.
Customer: “Wait. Why does this say the year is 2568?”
Me: “That’s the Buddhist calendar, ma’am. In Thailand, it’s 2568 BE, or Buddhist Era.”
Customer: “That’s… weird.”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. Anyway, Songkran starts tomorrow.”
Customer: “What’s Songkran?”
Me: “Thai New Year. It’s a big part of the Buddhist calendar.”
Customer: “Well, I don’t really follow the numbers part. I’m more about the philosophy.”
Me: “Yes, ma’am.”
A moment of silence.
Customer: “You know… maybe the negative energy is the city.”
Me: “Possibly, ma’am.”
Customer: “Fine, I’ll stay in the suite. I’ll cleanse it with incense.”
Me: “Of course.”
She leaves.
Coworker: *In Thai.* “Is my English getting worse, or did she fly all the way to Bangkok, claim to be Buddhist, but have no idea that she’s visiting during Songkran?”
Me: *In Thai.* “I’m surprised she didn’t notice that the room prices are double what they normally are.”
Coworker: *Looks at her customer details on my screen.* “Oh, she’s from California. Buddhists from there can be Buddhists because they have all the money to do yoga in the daytime at expensive gyms and drink $20 jasmine teas. She can afford to stay here.”
We both smile (a little pained smile) at each other and go back to checking guests in, most of whom know they’re here for Songkran and didn’t try to claim our room’s auras were evil.
