Two Minutes Of Agony

, , , | Right | November 12, 2019

(Our customer service deals both with emails and calls, and you are either scheduled on email or call. You are not supposed to do the other when scheduled for one.)

Caller: “I want to know when I will get my money!”

Me: “All right, let’s pull up your file. I don’t see any money ready to be transferred; what is this about?”

Caller: “I was asked to sign a slip and then I would get money because of [case].”

Me: “Ah, I understand. But I don’t see the slip in your file. When did you send it?”

Caller: “I already sent it!”

Me: “But when?”

Caller: “I already sent it; why is it not in my file?!”

Me: “Maybe you can resend it and I can see if the email arrives this time?” *which I am not supposed to do, but hey, service and all*

Caller: “But I already send it two minutes ago!”

Me: “Two minutes ago? You send the first email two minutes ago?”

(And look what just popped up in our mailbox!)

Me: “I got your slip, miss. I will put it through to our financial department for you.”

Caller: “Good. So, when will I get my money?”

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The Five-Minute Mark Is When They Call The Police

, , , , , | Working | November 7, 2019

(I am a very punctual person. Every day, I go to lunch at the same time, down to the exact minute. On this day, I’m getting my car smog-checked during my lunch break, so I warn my officemate that I may be a bit late returning. I don’t bother telling anyone else, because I have no planned meetings and I figure no one will notice or care. This is what happens when I walk back in.)

Coworker #1: *opening the door for me* “We’ve been waiting for you!”

Coworker #2: “[My Name]! We were worried; I was sure something must have happened to you!”

(I was four minutes late.)

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Can’t Quite Nail The Timing

, , , , , | Right | November 6, 2019

(I’m waiting for my turn at the nail spa when a group of women comes in and approaches the front desk. Only one woman in the group speaks to the nail tech, but the whole group is crowding the desk.)

Woman: “Hi! We all want gel fills.” 

Nail Tech: “Okay, there’s one person in front of you. Please put your name down and come back in 35 minutes.” 

Woman: “So, come back at 10:30?” 

Nail Tech: “It’s 10:10 right now.” 

Woman: “So, come back at 10:30?” 

Nail Tech: “I said to come back in 35 minutes…” 

Woman: “Just give me a time, g**d*** it!” 

Nail Tech: *clearly fed up* “Please come back at 11.” 

Woman: “Well, thank you. That wasn’t so hard after all, was it?” 

(The woman flounced out with her group in tow. She still hadn’t arrived for her appointment when I left at 11:20.)

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The Mother Of All Anxieties, Part 2

, , , , , | Related | October 19, 2019

(My mom has anxiety issues when it comes to things going according to plan, and she loses perspective on the feelings of others and becomes incredibly inflexible. I am 21. I moved out over three years ago, but I rejoin my family for a Christmas trip to visit family in Oregon. I am experiencing increasing mobility issues that I later find out to be a minor form of Muscular Dystrophy, so I have started walking with a cane sometimes and I am not able to run very well by this time. After our visit and celebration are over, we go to the airport to catch our flight back to California. It is late Christmas day, so the airport is not that crowded, but my mom is rushing us with great urgency through the airport despite the fact that we have several hours until our flight.)

Mom: “Come on, come on. Walk faster. We have to hurry up!”

Me: “Seriously? Our flight doesn’t leave until 5:50. Let’s stop and have lunch; all the good restaurants are outside the security gate.”

Mom: “No, no, no! We have to go now! It takes hours to get through the x-ray line.”

Me: “No, it doesn’t! With Dad’s metal plate and my cane, we get priority screening; we’ll be done in five minutes.”

(This is very true, and it never takes me very long to get through airport lines because of my disability. We had an easy time leaving California despite the huge crowds of holiday travelers. It’s also true that every time my parents fly out together, they don’t have to wait in the line because of the plate in my dad’s leg.)

Mom: *sees me lagging behind the three of them and gets more anxious* “Walk faster! Why are you slowing down?”

Me: “I’m walking with a cane and you’re surprised that I’m not fast?”

(What isn’t a surprise is how fast we get through the security screening. That does not seem to put her at ease, though. She continues urging us to move at a near-running pace with me hobbling as fast as I can while trying not to trip and fall. We don’t get a chance to rest until we reach our gate.)

Me: *looks at watch* “Whew! We made it with only four hours and thirty-seven minutes to spare. We would never have made it without you keeping us organized, Mom. Woo-hoo!”

The Mother Of All Anxieties

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The Park Is Not Closing But The Customers Are Closing In

, , , , , | Working | September 28, 2019

I work at a popular theme park. Today, the park closes at 10:00, and it is currently 3:30. 

An announcement comes over the speaker system that says, “[Park] will be closing in 30 minutes. Thank you and have a good day.”

Cue everyone being confused and having a rush of customers who are either buying a whole lot of stuff or complaining about how they just got here and saying, “Doesn’t the park close at ten?” 

I see the line for guest service go out the door with angry customers demanding refunds because they just came and will have to leave. 

There is no announcement fixing the mistake and no supervisor calls the stores to tell them that there was a mistake. They just let the employees deal with irate customers.

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