“Groundhog Day” Must Have Seriously Confused Them

, , , , , | Working | December 13, 2017

(I work at a company that is open 24 hours a day due to the nature of our business. There is a separate day staff and night staff that both rotate through several different shifts. The earliest day shift is 2:00 am to 10:00 am, and the latest is 10:00 am to 6:00 pm. This happens one night while I, a night staff worker, am on the floor during one of the few times when there are both day and night staff employees there together. A day staff coworker has just gotten in for his 2:00 to 10:00 am shift, and we are talking about our respective hours and how we feel about them.)

Coworker: “Yeah, I don’t mind them so much, but I was definitely lied to in my interview.”

Me: “Oh, really? How so?”

Coworker: “Yeah, they told me I’d never be here past 6:00 pm.”

Me: “Oh, do they schedule you later than that sometimes?”

Coworker: “Well, yeah. Like, right now I come into work at 2:00 am.”

Me: “But you’re leaving by 10:00.”

Coworker: “Yeah, but I have to start at 2:00 am. They told me I’d never be here past 6:00.”

Me: “But you’re not here past 6:00 pm. None of your shifts end after 6:00.”

Coworker: “But this one starts after 6:00 pm.”

(After several tries to get him to understand that A NEW DAY STARTS AT MIDNIGHT and that 2:00 am is NOT, in fact, after 6:00 pm, I gave up. This was a job that required a college degree, and here was this guy telling me that, just because it was after 6:00 pm of the previous day, he was lied to about his hours. By that standard, EVERYTHING is after 6:00 pm!)

I’m Gonna Go With Time-Travel

, , , , | Healthy | December 12, 2017

(I am calling my doctor’s office to make an appointment and she is asking for basic information like my name and date of birth.)

Receptionist: “And when is your date of birth?”

Me: “February first, ‘94.”

Receptionist: “Is that 1994?”

Me: “Well, unless I’m from the future or look great for 123, yes, 1994.”

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days… We Think

, , , , , , | Working | December 8, 2017

(As a call center, we work seven days a week. As a result, most people’s weekends aren’t Saturday and Sunday. Today, Tuesday, one of my coworkers says to another:)

Coworker #1: “Tomorrow is your Friday, isn’t it?”

Coworker #2: “No, it’s my Thursday.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, that’s right; it’s Wednesday!”

It’s The Middle Of The Day In India

, , , , , , | Working | December 7, 2017

(It is about 12:30 am, I am having a hard time sleeping, and when I finally feel like I am going to fall asleep, my cell phone rings. I pick it up thinking it might be one of my relatives trying to contact me because something happened.)

Scammer: “This is Microsoft tech sup—”

Me: *cranky* “What the f***?! It’s midnight!”

Scammer: *continues on* “We detected a virus in your computer and—”

Me: “Listen here. It’s midnight. I do not have a virus, and it’s midnight. You do not call people this late at night.”

Scammer: “But it’s an emergency; we have a—”

Me: “Listen. I worked for a call center, and it is in fact illegal to solicit or cold-call people past 9:00 at night—”

Scammer: *interrupting with a condescending tone* “—but it’s not midnight here.”

Me:In their timezone, as I was going to say, you a**-backwards twit. You remove this number from your list of scams right now, or I will be forwarding it to the police. Got it? F*** off!”

(They hung up. Since then, I haven’t had another “Windows tech” call on my cell.)

Leaving Them In The Dark

, , , , | Right | December 4, 2017

(I’m working the 4:00 to 10:00 night shift. It’s about 6:30 in the evening, and I’ve been ringing out a woman who has been nothing but pleasant the entire time.)

Me: “And here’s your change. Have a good night!”

Customer #1: *suddenly snobbish* “It’s still sunny out.”

Me: “I’m sorry; this is actually the night shift. Um, have a nice day.”

(She takes her things and leaves without another word. A second customer comes up and I ring her through no problem. Since the first woman was so appalled, I decide maybe I should stick to “day,” since the sun is, in fact, still shining.)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer #2: “The day is practically over. You should have said, ‘Have a good night!'”

(She took her things and stormed out while I silently banged my head against the register keyboard. Everyone else that night got a vague, “Have a good one,” until it was firmly dark outside.)

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