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That’s One Heavy Burden

, , , , , | Working | May 3, 2022

Manager: “I don’t need this albatross around my neck like the Sword of Damocles!”

Me: “That’s the most pretentious mixed metaphor I’ve ever heard.”

It’s All Bun And Games Until It Isn’t

, , , , , | Right | May 3, 2022

I’m working at a semi-fast food burger chain, where all the food is prepared fresh and takes a little time. At this time, I’m in charge of cash — taking orders in person and on the phone, as well as taking payments. I get an angry phone call.

Me: “Hi, [Store] at [Location], this is [My Name] speaking. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I got no burger buns!”

Me: “Oh, no! What do you mean?”

Customer: “I ordered bowl buns and I got no buns!”

I can tell this customer’s first language isn’t English, and I totally understand where she’s coming from, but…

Me: “Where did you place your order, ma’am?”

Customer: “[Delivery Service]! And I got no buns! I wanted bowl buns!”

Me: “What’s the name on the order, ma’am?”

Customer: “[Customer].”

I check the order. It’s a pretty standard order: three burgers and a large fry. But she ordered all her burgers in our BOWL option. Burger bowls, for those of you who don’t know, is a tinfoil or paper containers that some stores use instead of buns. It’s a gluten-free option, like Lettuce Wraps, but much more of a hassle.

Me: “Ma’am, I can see you ordered three burgers in bowls.”

Customer: “Yes! Burger bowls! And I got no buns!”

Me: “Ma’am, burger bowls are a gluten-free, bun-free option that we offer. They come in tinfoil bowls—”

Customer: “No! It is meant to be a bun bowl! Burger bowl has buns!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we gave you your order exactly as you ordered it. For next time, burger bowls are bun-less. Have a great day!”

That’s still my favourite phone call I’ve taken to date. I think she might have gotten them mixed up for those taco shells that double as bowls, which would be weird to me for a burger, to be honest, but to each their own.

Autocorrect Rears Its Ugly Head Again

, , , , | Working | May 3, 2022

A woman had been let go from her job a few days earlier, and I emailed her her final timesheet at the end of the week for her to sign. Not knowing if she’d be in front of her computer to see the email, I sent her a text.

Text: “Timesheet sent to sign pls”

Text: “Are you home”

I pressed send and the phone autocorrected the last word… to “homeless”.

I knew that she’d been having a hard time before she’d been let go and, even though we’d parted on good terms, I knew this would not sit well with her. I sent “*HOME” right after. but I never heard back from her again, save for receiving her signed timesheet half an hour later.

Oh, and the annoying part is, I’d been dumbing down my texts over the past year because of the ribbing of overly-formal texts. I was told that punctuation in texting can come off as rude! AARGH!

The Thong Wrong

, , , , | Right | April 27, 2022

I’m shopping in a large department store with many levels. As I’m looking for a particular dress, I overhear a loud (not angry) customer with a five-ish-year-old asking an employee for an item.

Customer: “Thongs! I’m looking for thongs for my daughter!”

Employee: “Uh, no… We don’t sell those. I doubt anyone does?”

Customer: “Yes, you do! I’ve bought thongs for her before! Where have you put the kids’ thongs?”

Employee: “Look, I don’t know what to tell you. We don’t sell thongs for kids — especially not little kids! That would be inappropriate!”

Customer: “You what?! You’d better—”

Me: “Excuse me, are you looking for flip-flops? They’re on level three with the shoes; they changed the layout this year.”

They both look at me. The customer thanks me, gives the employee a pointed look, and walks off.

The employee stands there, shocked. 

Me: “It’s okay. In Australia, they call them thongs. I could hear her accent and figured I’d help.”

The employee was so relieved!

COFFEE To You, Too

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Ok-Beginning6526 | April 26, 2022

Today I had a party of three at a table.

Me: “Hello, how are you doing today?”

Man #1: *Immediately yelling* “COFFEE!”

His friend looked awkward and didn’t know what to do.

Man #2: “Um… I would like [item #1] and my wife would like [item #2].”

Later, after serving them their food, I went to check on them.

Man #1: “Hi.”

Me: “Hi.”

Man #1: “How are you doing today?”

I thought about it for a second.

Me: “Coffee!”

His friend chuckled and got it, but the coffee guy clearly didn’t.

Me: “No, I’m fine.”

It made my day that his friend got it!