(My family decides to visit my sister at college. The city has a few other colleges as well so we were excited to try what the heartland America version of international cuisines we regularly have authentic versions of in our home city would be like — because who doesn’t like to try new things? We decided to try out a hibachi restaurant at the lunch time.)

Server: “We have a lunch special sale on sushi and we are selling it for $2 each.”

Me: “$2? Isn’t that a little cheap?”

Server: “A little, but it’s just a small bundle of rice with a topping wrapped on top.”

Me: *thinking that’s a little expensive for something so small but I’m hoping it will be really interesting or tasty and worth it*

Server: “Here’s the ordering card for the sushi.”

(It has “sushi” written on the front, and “maki” written on the back.)

Me: “What about the back? Are those items for the sale price as well?”

Server: “Yes, like I said, it is all $2.” *she sounds very frustrated with me asking so many questions so I decide it is best to not ask any more questions*

(Deciding that it was technically on sale and this meal was kind of a family treat I decide to get fifteen rolls for what should be a total of $30. Everyone else’s food comes out and the chef does the whole hibachi presentation which is fairly entertaining. Finally, after everyone else’s food was made and eaten, a plate of sushi comes out to me. I start eating and then they start bringing over plate upon plate of food. I ask the girl who was my server what is going on and she just rolls her eyes and said I got what I ordered. I am a little surprised to get so much food but decide to accept my good fortune. Then the bill comes to the table — for over a $100 just for my food! Clearly they ordered too much food and charged me way too much. I try to talk to the waitress about it again, but she just rolls her eyes at me and walks away from the table. I finally get up and looked around the store until the manager comes up to us and scolds us for not paying our bill yet.)

Me: “We can’t pay our bill yet. We’ve been trying to find you. There’s a major problem with this bill.”

Manager: “I don’t see what’s wrong. You ordered a ton of food and you have a big bill. That’s how it works.”

(My dad just stares at him, and then I try to explain.)

Me: “I did not order this much food. I ordered 15 small ‘bundles of rice and toppings’ as explained by your server which the server assured us many times would only cost $2 each.”

Manager: “No, she told you that only the front of the ordering form was $2 each. The back of the form was for rolls and they cost full price.”

Dad: “We all heard her say absolutely everything on both sides of the form was only $2 each. We will not pay extra because she didn’t explain it well.”

Manager: “[Waitress], did you tell them all of this was only $2?”

Waitress: “No, I explained the specials to them and said only the front.”

Dad: “We literally have a whole table of people and everyone heard you say everything on the ordering card cost only the special price.”

Manager: “Well, I can see you think something was messed up, but this is your bill and you have to pay it. Really, did you think we would charge that little for so much food? I couldn’t run a business that way!”

Me: “Frankly, it’s not my job to understand how your business works and look out for your bottom line. It’s my job to follow information given by servers and order accordingly, and your server gave us inaccurate information. Now, are you going to fix this, or aren’t you?”

Manager: “I can see you are upset that you misunderstood what my server said, but I am not giving you a discount because you clearly can’t hear well. You are either paying for your food or we are calling the police for theft of products.”

Me: “You have to be kidding me. Your store outright lied and is now trying to extort us for money.”

Dad: “It’s not worth it. We’ll pay the bill this time but we’ll warn everyone that this store is dishonest.”

(In the end, since we had to pay for the food anyway, I brought the extra pieces of sushi home with me and ate sushi every day for a week. I got grounded by my parents because I didn’t know better to expect the server was lying and cost them so much money. I still am mad at that server for outright lying so many times to me and my parents and the manager to their faces!)

(I run and independent coffee shop on a very busy city centre street. We are known for our hearty and healthy food as well as home-baking and decent coffee. We also have a pretty strict “no outside food” policy. Our stuff is so good, so why would we let people bring their own stuff in? One day I arrive to find we have no water. I call the water board and they say that a pipe has burst in the area but that they are fixing it. The water, however, has been turned off in the area… maybe a mile radius. I put signs up saying explaining this and apologising, but we are still able to serve food, just no hot drinks or tap water. A couple come in for breakfast and see the signs, but I still explain the situation. She orders orange juice with her breakfast. He, however, doesn’t seem to get it.)

Man: “Just a filter coffee, please!”

Me: “I’m really sorry but due to the no water thing, I can only do cold drinks.”

Man “Oh, right. So… just a tea?”

Me: “Again, no water. I have bottles of iced tea?”

Man: *scoffing* “So you’re saying that your coffee shop has no coffee?!”

Me: “Yes. That’s exactly what I’m saying. No water, in a mile wide radius. Really sorry about this but they are working on the burst pipe!”

Man: “Well, there’s a [Huge International Coffee Chain] on the corner. Can I go and get one of their coffees and bring it back?”

Me: *knowing they have no water either but still trying to be polite and nice* “Sure thing. If they are able to make coffee, you’re welcome to bring it back.”

(The man left, quite smugly, only to return moments later, empty handed. Apparently they had no water either. Something about a burst pipe in the area…)

Related:
H2-Slow To Realize, Part 2
H2-Slow To Realize

(I stop at a local department store to pickup up some jeans for my daughter. While I am usually sympathetic to clerks/cashiers promoting their store branch credit cards and customer programs, this clerk was a little overzealous and ultimately cost the store a sale.)

Clerk: “Will you be using [Store] credit card to pay for these?”

Me: “No.”

Clerk: “Do you have a [Store] credit card?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t.”

Clerk: “Oh, well, it’ll only take a few minutes to sign you up. You’ll save an additional 20% on today’s purchase, and you’ll get weekly coupons—”

Me: “Sorry, not interested. Please just ring my purchases up.”

Clerk: “But, you really need to sign up for this card. Don’t you want to save an additional 20% off today?”

Me: “No. Either ring up my purchases or find someone who can.”

Clerk: “But you’re missing out on an additional 20% off today. What if I could get you your total order for free today? Would that work?”

(There was about $120 in merchandise sitting on the counter.)

Me: “You are not listening to me. I do not want a [Store] credit card.”

Clerk: *beginning to ring up order* “You’d turn down free stuff? You must have bad credit or something. Cause everyone wants to save money? Can I at least have an email address so I can sign you up for our customer rewards program?”

Me: “No. You know what? Just cancel my order.”

(The whole time this exchange was going on, a shift leader was no more than five feet going through the returns rack. I could tell she was listening to the conversation, but she made no attempt to intervene. I went home and then proceeded to order everything I was going to buy in-store online.)

(I am a 20-year-old female. I am 4’11” and 100 pounds… the same exact height and weight I was when I was 12. I’m also an actor, and since I’m young-looking I book roles frequently for teenagers and preteens. I have booked a role for a show that takes place at a high school. They need me on a day they are filming at a museum because they are shooting a field trip scene. I drive to the museum, park in the section that they bought for the day for the production, and walk into the main square. Apparently several middle schools are having actual field trips so there are tons of students and chaperones. I see no sign of a TV crew. I walk up to the first woman I see.)

Me: “Hey, do you know where the production for [Show] is?”

Woman: *looks very confused* “What? What school are you from?”

(I realized that I am being mistaken for a teenager and not an adult. I smile.)

Me: “Oh. Haha, no, I’m not here with a school. I booked a role for a show and they’re filming here today. I just don’t know where they are.”

Woman: *scowls, clearly not believing me* “Look, I’m not here to play games. Go get back in line with your group. Who is your chaperone?”

(I sigh and start to walk away because I don’t deal well with people who don’t listen.)

Woman: “Hey, don’t just walk away! Go to your line!”

Me: “I am 20 f****** years old, and I’m here today to play a student for a major show for Hulu. Sorry you don’t listen to other adults when they talk to you. I’m not a god-d*** minor, so piss off.”

(Instant regret flashed over her face as she tried to come up with a response. Later that day she saw us filming on the other side of a large room and we made eye contact. It was awkward.)

(Someone knocks on my door.)

Person #1: “Hello, we are here to complete the survey as explained in the letter.”

Me: “What letter? What are you talking about?”

Person #1: “We sent a letter explaining that we would be around to ask you questions about your household.”

Me: “I received no such letter and I’m not interested.”

Person #1: “We sent the letter. We need to ask you these questions.”

Me: “Who are you?”

Person #1: “We are with [Government Agency that is NOT the census].”

Me: “Interesting. No.”

(I close the door. The person rings the doorbell several times but I go back to watching Judge Judy or whatever. The next day I do, in fact, find the letter. It is from this government agency and it explains they are collecting information on demographics in my area. It also says quite plainly that my participation is optional. The next week, I get a knock on the door.)

Person #2: “Hello, we are here to complete the survey as explained in the letter.”

Me: “No.”

Person #2: “It is very important that we collect this information.”

Me: “No.”

Person #2: “We sent a letter explaining why we need this information.”

Me: “Yes, I found the letter. It said my participation is optional. I opt not to assist you.”

Person #2: “But we really—”

(Door closed. A few days later I get a letter, registered mail, explaining the need for me to participate in this survey. However, the last paragraph again says it is optional. Even if it wasn’t, I will NOT cooperate. The next week the doorbell rings.)

Person #3: “Hello, we are here to—”

Me: “Stop. I have explained twice before that I have no interest in participating. The letter clearly stated this is optional. Do you understand the definition of optional? Get off my porch.”

Person #3: “We just need to know how many kids live in the household.”

Me: “You are absolutely out of your mind if you think THAT is the one question I would answer. Do not return. Do not send someone else. Do not waste government money on registered mail. The answer is no. No. No. N. O.”

(Tax dollars at work.)