Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 34

, , , | Right | October 16, 2019

(I have gotten a new job with a store that is opening at the mall. We have just finished setting everything up and are gathered around the cash wrap for a store meeting with our district manager. The mall made us take the paper off our windows, so you can see into the store.)

District Manager: “Okay, guys, great job getting everything set so quickly! Before we go, though, I have to—”

Customer: *opens our closed door, walks in, and starts shopping*

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, my. You aren’t open yet, are you?”

District Manager: “No, that would be tomorrow. We’ll be open all day.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *slowly leaves*

Me: “Who sees a bunch of employees standing behind two obviously closed doors and thinks it’s a good idea to walk in?”

District Manager: “Who knows?”

(We had two more people try to walk in after that.)

Not Very Closed Minded, Part 33
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 32
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 31

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Choked By Your Own Doctor

, , , , , | Healthy | October 16, 2019

(I’ve had serious sinus/throat/ear problems for most of my life, along with pretty severe anxiety disorder; it’s so bad I was put on anti-anxiety meds at eight years old. Unfortunately, since I have an anxiety disorder, most of my problems have been brushed off as panic until they’re either too late to fix properly or until I fight with the doctors. I miss a pretty good bit of school because my ears hurt or I feel like I am choking, and I will go to the doctor each time. Each time, the pediatrician tells me, “It’s just a viral infection,” or, “It’s just your anxiety acting up.”)

Me: “I really don’t think this is viral; I’ve been coming in every month or so for two years or so.”

Doctor: “It’s just viral. I think you just like getting out of school, too.” *nudge nudge wink wink*

Me: “Uh, no. My grades are taking a hit. I can barely breathe and I feel like I’m choking constantly. This is not a panic thing, and it’s obviously not viral; otherwise, it wouldn’t always come back. Maybe you should do your job and actually figure out what’s wrong?”

Mom: *staring in shock because I’m not one to smart off*

Doctor: “If you can smart off like that, then you don’t need to see a pediatrician any more!”

(My mom schedules an appointment at a different doctor’s office, with a different doctor. I’m freaking out because I’ve never seen another doctor before in my fifteen years and many, MANY doctors appointments.)

New Doctor: *looks in my mouth* “Oh, my God! Your tonsils are huge. Like, can you breathe at all?”

Me: “No, not really. I always feel like I’m choking.”

New Doctor: “These have to come out.”

(So, I got my tonsils out, along with my adenoids. The surgeon told me they were the biggest he’d ever seen. I no longer feel like I’m being choked to death constantly. But having your tonsils pulled out at sixteen sucks.)

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Voicemail Fail: Four Years Later

, , , , , | Working | October 14, 2019

At work, I miss a call on my cell phone, but the caller leaves a voicemail. The caller states they are from a counseling office and are returning my call about whether they accepted a certain insurance or not. I hadn’t called them so I initially brushed it off as a wrong number.

But then I get to thinking. I did previously have a policy with the insurance they mentioned but it was a while ago. I listen to the message again for the name of the office they were calling from and then I remember. I called this office and left a message to ask that question…


I can’t fathom how it took four years to return a phone call for a simple question and how they never realized how old the message I left was.

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Their Milkshake Brings Everyone To The Yard, And They’re Like, Ignoring The Signs…

, , , | Romantic | October 13, 2019

(My husband and I visit a popular fast food chain for some unhealthy snacks on our way home. On the way in, I giggle to myself as soon as I see multiple large signs stating there’s no ice cream or milkshakes because the machine is broken, something that’s not too uncommon with this particular chain. After we’ve sat down to eat…)

Me: “I wonder how often people tried to order milkshakes or ice cream today with that poor employee.”

Husband: *totally oblivious* “Why?”

Me: “Because there are literally four signs on the way from the door to the counter stating they don’t have any today. The machine is broken.”

Husband: “Oh? Really? Didn’t see any…”

(Point proven, I guess.)

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Military Intelligence Isn’t On 24/7

, , , , | Right | October 11, 2019

(I am at officer training for my branch. The morning of this story, we were supposed to do a three-hour compass course, starting in the early hours. However, upon arrival at the site, it begins to rain, and then turns into a localized flash flood. Everyone is fine, but rather than give us the morning off, the instructors have moved the afternoon lecture to the morning. There’s time to grab coffee from a small stand located on the second floor.)

Barista: “I’m sorry, but the card machine is down. Cash only.”

Me: “S’alright, I’ve cash.”

(I place my order and she makes it. When she puts in the price, it comes to $5.75. Now, keep in mind, I’m out of it, and I hand her a five-dollar bill.)

Barista: “Umm, do you have seventy-five cents?”

Me: *half-asleep and not comprehending I’ve short-changed her* “No.”

Barista: “Okaaay… I can work with that.”

(She puts the bill into the drawer and I hold out my hand.)

Barista: “Is there something you need?”

Me: “My change.”

Barista: “Out of five dollars?”

Me: “Yes, my change?”

Barista: “Out of five dollars?”

Me: “Yes…”

(All of a sudden I wake up and join the living and realize I ordered a coffee that costs $5.75, but only gave her $5, and now I’m demanding change back, and the barista has actually offered to eat the cost!)

Me: “Oh, oh, crap! Oh, lord, I’m so sorry, I’m so f****** out of it! We had compasses this morning, but got rained out and they switched the lecture and I’m barely awake. I had no idea! Please, cancel the order; I don’t have exact change. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I was demanding my change back!”

Barista: “Yeah, no, honey, you’re getting this coffee. You really need it. You looked like a zombie when you came in.”

(She insisted on giving me the coffee, even though she was the one who paid the $0.75. And I admit, I did need that coffee. We’re not allowed to tip civilian workers in these situations, but after that I was extra certain to have exact change and to greet her with a smile whenever I passed the area.)

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