Won’t Somebody Think Of The Children?!

, , , | Friendly | January 30, 2021

My friend is a pediatrician and only recently graduated and started working. She still lives in the apartment she rented as a student. Recently, a few first-semester students moved into the apartment right next to hers. They like to invite lots of other kids and party hard until three am or longer every single day.

My friend is very chill and wouldn’t mind at all, except that it keeps her from sleeping. She’s tried talking to them nicely, during the night or the day, several times.

Neighbors: “Oh, we’re so sorry. It won’t happen again!”

Finally, she’s done with being nice. There’s loud music, again, at two am. She stalks over to the other apartment and almost knocks the door down. Some drunk teenagers open. 


They kept the parties to the weekends after that.

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Not Enough Warmth For This Friendship To Rise

, , , , | Friendly | January 2, 2021

I’m loading my kids into the car to get to an appointment. While well-behaved, they are full of high spirits and the promise of a treat is causing them to be very excitable and loud. It’s great to see, but it’s hard to get them in the car by myself.

I manage to get them buckled up and I’m about to shut the car door when I hear someone. I look up and see someone trying to get my attention, someone I think might live down my street somewhere.

Me: “Hello?”

Neighbour: “Hi. I live at [address number].”

That’s way, way down the street.

Me: “Oh, hi. Nice to meet you.”

Neighbour: “Yeah, can I borrow some flour? Self-raising?”

Me: “Err, I’m not sure I have any, I’m afraid, and I’m heading somewhere. We’re late, actually.”

Neighbour: “Well, it is important! Can you just check?!”

Me: *Pause* “You know what? I remember now; we used the last of it up. Sorry.”

I got in the car without waiting for a response, but I thought I could make out a few choice words.

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Hold Your Horses!

, , , , , | Legal | December 27, 2020

My parents are holding onto a pair of our neighbor’s escaped horses in our front yard when an animal control officer stops to talk to them.

Officer: “Are these your horses?”

Mom: “No, they belong to our neighbor. We’ve already called and they are on their way.”

Officer: “Good, I want to talk to them. This isn’t the first time I’ve been called about these horses. Do you see them loose often?”

Mom: “No, this is a first for us. The goat, on the other hand—”

Officer: “There’s a goat?”

Father: “There’s the goat!”

As they were talking about it, our neighbor’s little black goat came trotting down the street! All animals were returned home safely and the neighbor replaced their fence so there were no more escapees of the equine or caprine variety.

This story is part of our Horse roundup!

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A Talkative Toddler Saves The Day!

, , , , , | Friendly | December 9, 2020

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.


I live with my husband and six-year-old daughter in a house on a pretty quiet street in a small town. On one side of our house is a house that gets rented out as a short-term rental; sometimes it’s an AirBNB and sometimes there’s someone there for up to six months. We’ve just had a couple and their two young children move in. The dad is a doctor and was born in Australia before working overseas for years, and he has only just managed to get his wife and kids over from their home country.

The kids speak both English and Farsi. The dad knocks on our door to introduce himself and let us know they will be there until they buy a house of their own, and to let us know that his wife doesn’t speak a lot of English, so please don’t think her rude. We don’t; she often tries her best to greet us and make small talk, and we don’t mind helping her practice. Her older child is a five year-old-boy who sometimes comes over and knocks to see if my daughter can come out and play. The younger kid is a tiny little toddler girl with a gorgeous smile, but she can’t speak much yet.

One day, the older kids are in school and I hear a tiny knock on our door. I open it to find my neighbor’s toddler crying on my front step.

Me: “[Toddler]?! Honey, what’s wrong?”

The toddler continues to cry and babbles in a combination of Farsi and English. The only word I can make out is “Mama.” She is absolutely beside herself.

I scoop her up and give her a cuddle, trying to calm her down. I yell my neighbor’s name over the fence, thinking maybe the toddler ran off while in the yard with her mother and she might be frantically searching. No response.

Toddler: *Still crying* “Mama fall. Mama bang, bang bang! Fall down.”

My heart about stops. I scramble over the fence and find their door open. I call out to my neighbor again. No response. I carry the toddler into the house, and I realise I can smell burning. I get to the kitchen and find my neighbor on the floor, bleeding from her head, not breathing, with a toasted sandwich burning on the hot plate. I turn it off and call an ambulance, putting the toddler down so I can start CPR.

I did CPR until the ambulance got there and took over. Realising the toddler had nowhere to go, I opted to come to the hospital with them and figure out how to contact her husband from there, as I had no idea where he worked. I’d assumed he was at one of the medical practices in town. Imagine everyone’s stunned surprise when we climbed out of the ambulance and the toddler started yelling, “DADA!” and tried to scramble into her dad’s arms as he stood at the doors of the ER.

It turned out the mother had been electrocuted by the electric kettle and had fallen down, hitting her head on the way. Her toddler had somehow gotten out of her highchair, unlocked the front door, gone out their gate, found my gate, somehow opened it despite it being out of her reach, and climbed up the ten steps to my front door and knocked on my door. We still don’t know how long her mother had been unconscious and not breathing on the floor before I found her. She managed to make a full recovery after a hard slog in hospital and at rehab, all thanks to a very determined little girl who knew her mother needed help!

This story is part of our Most Inspirational Of 2020 roundup!

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Ain’t No Walk In The Park(ing)

, , , , , , , | Friendly | December 4, 2020

We live on a small road with houses facing each other across it. Parking can be a pain, but it’s normally fine as there are plenty of communal spaces very near.

On the day of our wedding, we ask our neighbour opposite us if they could not park in front of their house between 2:00 and 3:00 pm — they have a garage, two offroad spaces, and communal parking — because the wedding car will be coming and it’s a struggle to get to our house. The neighbour agrees and we think that’s another thing checked off the list.

Of course, on the day of the wedding, the wedding car spends thirty minutes trying to edge the way around not one, but two of that neighbour’s cars, blocking the road and causing the whole wedding to be late. 

We chalk it up to a pair of petty, jealous idiots that don’t want others to be happy. We don’t bother acknowledging them from that point on.

Fast forward a year or so. I’m clearing out the garage and am parked in front of the house. I load up the car with some donations when the same neighbour from before comes over, panicking.

Neighbour: “No, no, no. You can’t park there.”

Me: “What?”

Neighbour: “We have viewings. You need to move your car.”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I saw that you’re selling. Sure, I’ll move my car when I’m finished.”

Neighbour: “Good, good.”

I waited for her to go back inside and then I did the same. I made a cup of coffee and ignored the doorbell. I doubt parking in front of the house was the reason it didn’t sell — the house was massively overpriced — but it felt nice for some petty Karma.

This story is part of our Best Of December 2020 roundup!

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